A/N: Sorry I took sooo long updating. The school holidays came up and it wasn't until a whole week after I got back that I remembered I had ever written this… But I'll update more often sometime soon. I might actually be getting the internet at home! dreamy, faraway look But maybe I should stop my ramblings now. R&R!

"Yay!"

"If you say 'yay' one more time, I swear…"

"You'll do what, Severus?" Voldemort teased, then wrinkled his nose. "Urgh. What on earth was your mother thinking?"

Snape burst into tears. "How could you say such a thing? But as I said," he continued, stifling his emotions, "You have said 'yay' exactly forty-seven times. Can you just not do that anymore?!"

"No," Voldemort sighed. "It's a sacrifice you're just going to have to make."

They sat in silence for a while.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Voldemort asked cheerily.

"I teach," Snape told him through gritted teeth. "We took my class to the Manifest, remember?"

"Oh yeah! Hey, remember that guy's costume…" Voldemort started excitedly, but Snape cut in.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I rule the world, of course," Voldemort said proudly.

Snape shook his head. "Uh, might I point out that you don't get paid for that. You haven't even taken over Britain yet!"

Voldemort gasped, and sobbed, "How could you?!"

"Get a job," Snape ordered.

"No!" Voldemort pouted.

"Go read a book or something then!"

Voldemort considered this. "Alright," he said. "Let's go." He immediately Apparated to a book store.

Several screams sounded as people saw a pale-faced red-eyed man in a black dress appear out of nowhere into the bookshop. He ignored them, instead browsing through the store calmly.

"Ooh, the next book in the Obernewtyn Chronicles!" a young teenage girl said in awed tones, converging upon a bookshelf covered in aforementioned books. Voldemort wandered over to take a look. He picked up the book and started reading aloud the blurb.

"When Freakseeker Guildmistress Harry GoPotter sets out from OberHogwarts to travel to Londium at the end of Wintertime, she quickly learns that not everyone welcomes the changes brought about by the rebellion. Captured by an old and vicious enemy, she is drawn deep into the heart of the DeathEatery Faction, where she learns of a terrible plot to destroy the west coast."

He paused for a moment. "What the heck?!" turning it over, he noticed the title; The Stone Key, the fifth book in the Obernewtyn Chronicles—the revised Harry Potter edition! "The Harry Potter edition?" he spluttered. "This is ridiculous."

He brought it over to the counter. "Hi, I'd like to get this…" he started.

Turning around from the counter was a tall boy with messy black hair, round glasses and a lightning bolt scar. "How may I help y—"

"AARGH!!" Voldemort yelled, backing away. "It's him!"

The shopkeeper looked at him blankly. "And it's you," he replied. "Fantastic make-up, by the way. I didn't think anyone would really get into Harry Potter day, but there you go."

"Harry Potter day?!" Voldemort screeched.

"Uh, yeah. Harry Potter is so popular now that it's a public holiday, except for the bookstores," the shopkeeper said airily. "Do you want me to put that it a bag?"

"Why isn't there a Voldemort day?" Voldemort demanded.

"Because Voldemort sucks," the shopkeeper replied.

"That's the last straw!" Voldemort screeched, grasping his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light shot out of his wand and hit a book behind the shopkeeper.

A moment later he was thrown out by store security.

A/N: Meh, wasn't sure how to end that bit there. Has anyone noticed that Harry almost died in the Chamber of Secrets? I mean, after he got out. When he freed Dobby and Lucius drew back his wand, hissing, "Avada…" If it weren't for Dobby, what would have happened to poor Harry? Urgh, that just reminded me of Harry/Ron… I hate that ship. It's completely illogical and wrong. THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!!! Review!