A/N: Augh! This chapter is complete shit.
I'm sorry in advance.
I'm also sorry it took me so long. I have too many excuses, but I would go off on a rant to explain them and no one wants to hear that.
Chapter 10
There was more to life than work, but Leon had a very difficult time understanding that. Yes, there was family, but that part was directly proportional to the work, so it was a moot point. After his talk with the Elder, he took a while to sit in his room by himself and think. He decided that watching Cloud's parents wasn't a huge necessity since they didn't do much but drugs and have sex. He noticed that Reno didn't seem too concerned about watching Rude's parents and did it only when he had nothing else to do. The only problem with not watching Anna and Aïr was that it left little for the brunette to do otherwise. He was painfully aware of his social awkwardness and the idea of walking amongst the people and making friends was a little daunting. So he stuck with what was familiar.
He tagged along with Reno. Granted, the redhead wasn't his ideal choice, but he was better than nothing. He was still apprehensive about making connections with people that he would have to break when he needed to leave, but the loneliness was eating at him. It was hard to watch people who were obviously so in love with one another and then go back to life without that same comfort; albeit, Anna and Aïr's relationship was strange and a little twisted, but the emotions were real. He couldn't honestly admit to himself that he was going after Cloud like Reno was with Rude, for romance, but at the very least he wanted some companionship, someone to talk and relate to. He had no idea how that one would blow over, seeing as how Cloud had yet to be born.
The news was on and Aïr was diligently watching it like he tended to do. Leon had spent most of his day awkwardly wandering after Reno without much social success and felt the need to retreat into his bedroom and save some face. He was bored. Aïr was boring. Anna had gone somewhere. The Carrier was close to falling sleep when he heard some rather disturbing news from the woman on the television.
"Soldiers patrolling outside the city's newest training camp discovered an out of place tent that had appeared overnight. Further investigation of the tent lead the soldiers to find two of their own, having homosexual intercourse. The offending men were promptly discharged from their unit, stripped of their citizenship, and taken to the city's borders where they were left to their own devices," she explained with an extremely straight face, forceful almost. She turned to her side, showing two soldiers behind her. She held the microphone out to them and they jumped at the opportunity to speak.
"Those disgusting faggots got it easy. Should've killed them and sent them back to Balamb where they probably came from," one blurted snidely, his eyes glowing the brightest shade of blue Leon had ever seen. His buddy let out an obnoxious twitter before bursting into laughter.
"They probably couldn't get a woman! Can you imagine?"
"Dude, that's pathetic."
"It's easier than taking a dump, can't imagine why they'd go for each other."
"Like this one; I'll take this one," the snide one said, grabbing hold of the reporter's wrist and pulling her closer to himself. "See? Easy." Her eyes got big and she tried to back away, but he yanked her to his chest with hardly any effort and tossed the microphone over his shoulder. His friend started laughing again and the impromptu couple started talking, the conversation lost in the background noise the microphone was picking up. The camera started panning around as the person manning it tried to find something else interesting to film, but it ended up back on the pair when the woman started screaming to be freed. The soldier's hands were up her shirt, his face twisted in a particularly fierce sneer. Leon stopped the feed before it could progress any further. The lack of censorship was a little startling, never mind the public raping, but he wasn't completely surprised.
It was depressing. Not only on a 'oh god how awful' standpoint a lot of people feel when they hear a bad story, but the Carrier couldn't even think of a way he'd make friends with someone from there. The only thing that kept him afloat mentally was the possibility that Cloud would be different. Not everyone turned out like their parents, he supposed. Not that he knew anything about parents, but he just assumed. Aïr was a little different, at least. Leon never caught him raping anyone as all his extraneous partners always seemed willing.
A few days passed, and the brunette spent most of that time cooped up in the inn, thinking. He had gone out and acquisitioned himself a pad of paper and a few pens. He was determined to do a bit of soul searching in a very analytical way. Taking the first things that came to mind, he made a series of lists. His likes, his dislikes, his flaws, things he didn't understand, things he was apprehensive about, and things he could easily change, be they about himself or his environment. Having to seriously think about himself and his attitude was a bit of a kick in the pride, but it was enlightening. He found he really regretted not taking more time to figure himself out before he jumped into his studies. He missed a lot.
"I'm sorry," he said abruptly during his next meal with Reno. The redhead stopped with his forkful of leaves halfway jammed into his mouth and stared at him confusedly.
"For what?" he asked.
"For being an ass."
"Oh. Uh, it's okay?" Reno said hesitantly. Leon stayed quiet and continued eating, focusing on his plate. "Can I ask what brought that on?"
"Just thinking. Seeing all the shit Midgar pumps out and how it compares to the dynamic here, and how negative I've been so far when I have no reason to be, just… I don't know. Whatever. Forget I said anything. I don't even know what I'm trying to say."
"No no! Tell me. Seriously. I want to know."
"I ah… just… you're lucky your Charge's parents live somewhere normal. Midgar is awful, and when I think about the people there and the people here, it's really kind of scary how huge the culture gap is. Then I think about myself, and how… well… how I'm myself and I realize that if I put Midgar and the village on either end of a scale, and put myself on there somewhere in between them, I'd probably be more towards the Midgar side than the village side in comparison."
"Don't talk about yourself like that. You're nothing like those people."
"Well what is my anti-socialism but another form of bigotry? I'm really struggling with being a part of everything just because it doesn't fit in my retarded mold that I've created for myself. I keep thinking about how you asked about how I found Cloud and whether or not I felt like he was my other half. Well he's not. I don't feel anything about him except 'oh shit, what asinine crap will I have to deal with?' But had I just waited, I might have actually felt something," Leon explained. He nudged his plate aside and leaned forward to rest his face in the crook of his arm on the table. "It makes me feel inhuman."
"So?" Reno said flatly. The brunette looked to him with a scowl.
"What do you mean 'so'? It's not exactly the best thing to feel, thanks for being so considerate," Leon spat.
"Yeah well, what do you want me to do? Baby you? You had a nice revelation about your life so now you have to dwell on your mistakes? Feh. Change if you're that concerned about it. I'm not going to stop you," the redhead said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.
"…Yeah I know I need to."
"Good. Work on it, and I'll be here if you need me. Otherwise, stop bitching. Move past it."
"Geeze, when did you get the authority stick shoved up your ass?"
"I like being happy. Your dumpy expression isn't letting me do that," Reno said grumpily.
"Oh," Leon deadpanned and sat up again. He pulled his plate to himself again and resumed eating. Reno did as well and they held a tense silence between them for the duration of the meal. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah," Reno said, setting his fork down.
"You're more into the evening ceremonies than I am. Do… do you get anything out of them?" Leon asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he was being rude or not. The redhead looked contemplative for several uneasy minutes.
"I don't know if I get anything out of it like the Shumi do. I still haven't figured out a way to tastefully ask them what the hell is supposed to happen to be sure, but I do feel something. I don't know the words to their songs but I know the tune, and when they sing I can listen and really hear it. Like… in my head, which is weird to say, but I feel like it's more in there than in my ears. It's where I hear the weird screechy whale noise too. Not sure what to think about that one though."
"Do you believe there's more to what they do than they let on?"
"Personally, I do. Part of me wants to say that they're all part of some goofy cult or something, but when I read the books, their stories and their history, it goes so far back that it's almost unreal. Christianity and Judaism, hell, even Paganism aren't even as old as some of their literature says their beliefs are. But, just like the religions we're familiar with, no one can say for absolute certain whether or not these things exist. People who believe don't have an excuse other than their faith, and if theirs is as old as they say it is, I find it hard to believe that so many people can follow it without any evidence having shown up at some point. I'm sure if we asked they'd tell us that everything that happens at the evening ceremonies is evidence of their faith but I don't understand it enough to get what they get. But I do think there's something there."
"Have you figured anything out about Balamb? Or the healing stuff?"
"No. Sorry. I wish I had, I'm curious."
"Damn…" Leon sighed.
"What did the Elder tell you about it?"
"That I wouldn't understand the healing if I couldn't go with pure belief in what they do or something like that. It was a little cryptic, but supposedly there are others in the village that can teach me. I want to try, but this whole religious thing is a bit daunting."
"…No one offered to teach me," Reno said, sounding pouty.
"Maybe it doesn't matter as much if you learn or not. Apparently I can try and learn it for the school I'm supposed to go to in Balamb."
"Hmm…" the redhead hummed, thinking.
"Anyway, thanks for not rubbing my apology in my face."
"Why would I do that?" Reno asked. Leon shrugged.
"My pride told me you probably would."
"Sounds more like an insecurity than pride."
"Why do you say that?"
"Pride, to me, is what you have when you don't give a damn about what people think or do in response to whatever you do. Confidence goes hand-in-hand with that I suppose, but having pride in yourself and what you do is probably the first stepping stone. The confidence part is what everyone else sees. Maybe I'm mixing words up, but I don't think pride is a bad thing to have."
"I suppose I can agree with that."
"Are you proud of yourself then? Do you really have pride?" Reno asked, serious faced. Leon thought about it for a moment.
"No. I'm not proud of myself. I have nothing to show for my effort. Yeah, I can study and fuck around test tubes, but I understand there's more to it than that. I… don't have any people close to me."
"Well what about the others at your facility?"
"I don't feel close to them. I didn't feel like I'd miss them when I left. I still don't. Not much, anyway," the brunette said, focusing on the wood grain of the table in front of him. Reno gave him a small withering smile that he didn't see.
"I forget you're a lot younger than I am, sometimes."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Well you talk like you're so much more mature than you are, just going on your terms and language skills, but you're still really inexperienced in a ton of the things you need in order to live happily."
"Thanks for kicking me while I'm down," Leon sighed sarcastically, looking up through his bangs and giving the redhead a glare. Reno laughed a little.
"It's true though. You can't get everything you need out of a textbook. If you haven't gone out and done anything aside from all that, then you're not experienced. When it comes time to leave the village and go out and find Cloud, I encourage you to go out and just… do shit. You're allowed to have a life before him, you know."
"Maybe… are you going to do the same before you find Rude?"
"Probably not much, but I'm not the one who's never left the proverbial nest."
"Oh really? I don't believe you could've done much more than I could've, even if I did have siblings."
"You think?" Reno said, a sly curl tugging up the corner of his mouth in a smirk. "I never said I was a virgin, or a homosexual, or tied to my facility, or even my dome. I never said I was an angel. Just because I'm excited for Rude and running my project, it doesn't mean that the previous twenty-five years were spent holed up in my bedroom reading."
"…Oh," Leon clipped, looking off to the side.
"I'm actually not proud of a lot of the stuff I did. I broke a lot of rules and got in a lot of trouble with a lot of people. Pissed off my family a good deal, was chased around by Technicians some, and tossed in quarantine a few times. My only regret is that I have enemies now. Not a lot, but some. It'll be hard to admit that stuff to Rude, but I plan on it."
"What all did you do?" the brunette asked. Reno stayed quiet before he gave a short laugh, a quick huff of air through his nostrils.
"Honestly? I don't feel comfortable sharing it with you."
"I see."
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
"Well… if you can work on yourself a little, maybe we can be friends enough to where I will share. But not right now."
"Okay," the brunette said. There was a small pause as he let the words sink in before he stiffly stood from his seat and took their plates into the kitchen proper and rinsed them. He was getting tired of all the unknowns and unanswered questions, but Reno had made many good points that he couldn't ignore.
Leon had a bit of growing up to do.
The brunette sincerely hoped no one would think he was insane, or being disrespectful. After the next evening ceremony, he milled about quietly while the crowd dissipated and the village went to sleep. Reno eventually left him as well. Once he was alone, Leon sat close to the blackened glass dome in the center of the cathedral and watched it. He wasn't expecting anything amazing to happen, or to get anything out of it, but he persisted, and sat quietly with an empty mind, trying to see if he could understand its significance.
He had tried to follow along during the ceremony, but nothing came of it. To him, it was the same thing with his eyes closed as it was with them open, and the songs were just as confusing. The concept of prayer was lost on him. He still didn't feel like he should worship or hold 'Eden' on high like the rest of the people seemed to. Whoever Eden was. He was pretty sure that's what the planet itself was called, regardless. Whether or not the 'spirit' of it was called 'Eden,' he couldn't say. He would have to remember to ask someone later.
After sitting for over an hour, and getting nothing, he decided to leave. He was forcing himself to be patient, but it nagged him with how difficult it was for him. He felt like he was trying to convert himself to a religion he didn't believe in or understand. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go that far, either. Floods of uncertainties and questions crowded into his mind as he walked, and he stopped himself to take a deep breath and let it all go. He was tired of dwelling.
"Are you alright?" a soft and quiet voice piped from behind him. He startled and turned around quickly. The Shumi before him he recognized as the Bead Maker. The masters of the various crafts in the village, the ones that taught them to others, were often referred to by a title, versus a name. Even in common conversation the title persisted, leading Leon to believe they didn't have a regular name to begin with. He had never had an extended conversation with the Bead Maker, but it was one of the mellower Shumis and sat in the back of its market stand with its pupils and quietly made the beads everyone else used to make other things with, just as the title said.
"I'm fine," he said quickly.
"You seem lost."
"No, I know where I am," he insisted. The Bead Maker smiled and laughed quietly under its breath.
"I meant like you were thinking too hard about something."
"Oh." The Carrier shrugged. "I think a lot."
"What about, if I can pry a little?" the Shumi asked, stepping closer to him. Leon fidgeted, the air becoming awkward.
"Far too much to explain in one night," he said. The Bead Maker nudged his arm gently and motioned for them to keep walking. The Carrier obliged, but hesitantly. He wasn't prepared to get into a lengthy conversation about his problems.
"The Elder told me that I may be needed in the near future, to act as your mentor for when you prepare to leave for your school."
"Mentor for what, exactly?"
"The craft."
"Oh… the stuff with the Lifestream?"
"Yes."
"I haven't gotten very far with trying to convince myself to let go of everything I know, I'm afraid."
"The Elder said it would be an obstacle, yes," the Shumi said, heading down a path towards one of the deltas versus the other direction towards the inn. Leon stiffly walked after it, confused. They stopped at the tiny pond at the end of the stream. The Bead Maker went to the bank and crouched down to look in the water. Leon waited off to the side, feeling anxious.
"Should I be doing something?" he asked. The Shumi shook its head.
"For most, stepping into the realm of belief and faith is difficult if they've never been exposed to it before. They may be aware of it, but to truly experience what the faithful do, it takes a great amount of effort. It's made easier when something happens to them that they cannot explain. So far, I don't get the impression that you've ever had something like that. What we've shown you already is forgettable if you're not willing to take it for what it's worth. Would you say that's a fair assessment?"
"I suppose."
"Glad you agree," the Shumi said, reaching forward. It pulled its hands from its elongated sleeves and stuck its wiggly fingers in the water. A pale green circle etched itself in the ground around its feet. As the line was made, several shining blue and violet orbs popped up from the earth and drifted into the air before dissipating. The strange lights and lines disappeared quickly, the whole show having lasted barely a second. The Bead Maker stood again, taking its hands out of the water. With them, it brought a globe of water with a fish floating inside. The liquid sloshed and wiggled around, but it stayed in a general circular shape as the Shumi walked it over to the Carrier and held it out for him to see. The fish seemed content enough in its bubble and Leon stared at it, speechless.
"I don't…" he trailed quietly, looking around the globe and under the Shumi's hands. He stuck a finger in the water and pulled it out again. The globe retained it shape and his skin came away wet, as it should have.
"It would make fishing a lot easier if you could do this, yes?"
"Yeah…" Leon said, voice shocked and hardly above a whisper. His brain had fried itself trying to understand and he just stood there, stupidly staring at the fish. "I'm… confused."
"I expected you would be."
"How did you learn?" he asked. The Bead Maker stepped to the stream and set the globe back in the water. The fish swam away, unharmed. It replaced its sleeves over its hands.
"The same way everyone does. I was taught by someone else who knew how."
"Is… do… augh," Leon sighed and rubbed his eyes. "This is too much."
"Is it really that overwhelming?"
"It is when you spent so much time and energy learning things. Everything in my world abides by the basic rules that I learned, and if something changes, we learn how it fits in the rules. Everything I've been taught was just thrown out the window. I sort of feel like it was a giant waste of time to learn it all. I didn't think this place would be that different," the Carrier sighed.
"I apologize. Your reaction is understandable. The others before you had similar ones. I urge you to move past it though, if you have the desire to learn. You have time."
"How do I start?" Leon asked, feeling a little like he was pleading with the Shumi.
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that. I don't know you as well as you know yourself, so I don't know all that is stopping you from believing. Think on it. Take some time to absorb it all. If you want to speak to me about moving forward once you're alright again, you know where my stall is in the market," the Bead Maker said with a small smile. Leon nodded deftly and the Shumi left quietly, heading back towards the village.
He sat on the bank of the stream and stuck his feet in the water. He thought back to when Zack was quizzing him on the elemental opposites, and could understand why it was important to know them, finally. Before, he couldn't get why he had to care. But beyond that, Zack didn't know anything. Leon wished he had someone else other than Reno to talk to; someone like Zack or Tifa who knew him better and could help take some of his anxiety away. Why he was so shaken, so scared to even give it a try, he didn't know. That was probably more frightening than the idea of actually going out and doing it.
He felt a bit silly for letting it get to him so much. In the end, he would be returning home, and things would fall back into place again. He would have a better grasp at everything there, and the exposure to the new things of Plane 087 he could chalk up to life experience. Good stories for the grandkids, anyway. It was logical to focus on what was in front of him instead of the whole picture. It was illogical to think he could consider everything at all times and not get overwhelmed. Then it dawned on him. He was anxious, because he was overwhelmed, not necessarily fearful. He took a deep breath, feeling a bit better now that he had rationalized his feelings. Between the Shumi customs, their religious acts and capabilities, and everything he had seen from Midgar, he agreed with himself that it was okay for him to feel the way he did.
He wasn't losing control; he just had to focus on the important things.
When Rude's mother discovered that she was pregnant, Reno became an insatiable mass of touchy-feely giddiness that made Leon extremely uncomfortable. He locked himself in his bedroom to avoid the redhead's bone crushing hugs and constant excited chattering about cute things and babies. He agreed that babies were nice, but after three days of hearing about it, he was fed up. But Reno stopped after a few days and things calmed down back to its disjointed normalcy. Leon was getting concerned that he wasn't hearing anything about Anna's pregnancy, or at least, when she was ordered to be pregnant by.
One thing was for certain though, Aïr's health was failing. The man was starting to stay in bed all day instead of moving to the couch in front of the television. Not every day, but if he woke up and didn't start moving right away, it was a safe bet he was staying where he was. The massive discoloration on his leg had crept its way up onto his torso, stopping in the middle of his ribcage and was spreading around that general area versus continuing upward. As a result, his breathing was impaired. Leon was willing to bet the man was functioning with only one lung, if not even less. Anna stayed with him as much as she could, while still taking care of the house and herself. Their Mako use slowed, which was probably the only good thing, but so did the sex, which was bad.
After several months, a man showed up at their door unexpectedly. He looked less like a soldier and more like a scientist with how much white he was wearing, but he had the same crest on his jacket that the military used. Two regular soldiers were with him, both of which looked to be incredibly young; each probably less than twenty years old. Anna was surprised to see them, but her expression grew worrisome when she realized who they were. They pushed themselves inside without much of a greeting.
"I'm here for your checkup," the man in white said.
"Checkup?" Anna asked, trying to sound surprised. The man's expression turned sarcastic and he rolled his eyes.
"You can't be serious. Are you really that ignorant?"
"No… but I don't know if I'm pregnant or not. I haven't checked yet this month," the woman defended, her posture timid. The man stuck his hand in the pocket of his coat and pulled out a small device that looked to Leon like a cross between a diabetes blood sugar meter and an oximeter.
"Give me your hand," he ordered and held out his own. Anna held out hers to him, and he turned it over to use the device to scan her barcode. It beeped, he watched its little screen for a second, then pressed a button on its side. Something poked out the top of it and he jabbed the woman in the palm with it, a needle apparently. Anna squeaked as a bead of blood bubbled up into her palm. The man pushed another button, the needle went back in, and was it replaced by an absorbent strip that he stuck in the blood. Once a sufficient amount was sucked up, the device beeped again, he let go of her hand, and watched the screen again. Anna went to rinse her palm in the sink.
"Well?" one of the soldiers asked, peeking over the man's shoulder. He shook his head.
"She's not. Go ahead," he said plainly. Anna's expression turned fearful and she looked over her shoulder at them.
"But I already have someone," she said.
"And obviously he's not fulfilling his role, now is he?" the man in white questioned impatiently.
"He's not well…"
"Even more of a reason to take care of things, then."
"But… I don't…"
"You don't what? Don't want to? Well, that's fine, I can take your citizenship papers then and you can leave. I won't stop you. This city doesn't need disobedience, and can find more willing souls elsewhere. Have a good time in Balamb," he said snidely.
"No! I…"
"Your only obligation to this country is to produce soldiers. You have complete freedom otherwise. I don't understand why the women of this country feel that it's that difficult. The men are the ones going out and fighting for all the freedoms we give you, risking their lives every day just so you can live comfortably and freely, however you like. It's unfair to ask them to do it all for nothing. If you can't fulfill your purpose, well, then they're just fighting a senseless war, now aren't they? May as well go back a hundred and fifty years to the way things used to be. Do you want that?" he asked, stepping closer to the woman, whose expression was turning absolutely guilt ridden.
"No…" she said quietly, watching the floor. "Can't we just have a little more time though?" she asked. Her answer was a quick backhand across the face, the force of which made her stagger.
"Do not try to circumvent my authority by begging. You do as I say, or you leave. Understood?" he said sternly. Anna, eyes wet and glistening, nodded silently and made her way to the door into her bedroom. She stuck her face into the room, peeking at Aïr.
"Aïr… I…" she stammered.
"I heard it all. It's fine," he clipped in response, his back to her. His expression was blank, unfeeling, and his words were empty and flat. Anna sniffled and closed the door again. The man in white looked to the two soldiers, gave them a nod, and headed for the front door as they made their way towards the woman.
Leon stopped the feed before they even got to her and closed his computer. He could assume what happened next, and it sent a sharp pang through his chest to think about it. He sighed as he mulled the man in white's words over. It was clear to him that Anna and Aïr lived in the capitol city of Midgar, which was conveniently named 'Midgar' as well, but the demographics were a little blurry still. Going by what Reno had told him, Gongaga was technically part of Midgar's territory, and obviously Rude's parents weren't pressured for soldier production like the people in the capitol were. So it made Leon wonder, were these laws limited to just the capitol? Or did other cities and territories have them, and just not Gongaga? He really wished he had the internet or something to tell him. It seemed like an easy enough topic to find. Regardless of the fine details, he didn't like the situation at all.
He started watching the couple again, after giving them an hour to themselves. The soldiers and the man in white were gone, and Aïr was sitting up in bed with Anna pressed into his chest. She clung to him, sobbing and naked, her back covered in welts and scratches. Whether or not she put up some resistance or the soldiers were just that rough with her, Leon couldn't decide, but it made him feel better to believe she at least tried to defend herself. He wasn't okay with complete submission.
"Leon?" Reno's voice piped from the other side of his door. The brunette pushed himself out of his bed and opened it for him and went back to sit.
"What do you need?" he asked. The redhead furrowed his brows and stepped in the room.
"Who's crying?" he asked, completely ignoring Leon's inquiry.
"Anna."
"Why?"
"Because she's a baby factory."
"Uh…"
"She was raped."
"Fuck."
"Yep."
"You sound unconcerned. That scares me."
"Oh I'm plenty concerned. Just… numb. It's really awful to say, but I'm sort of used to it, even if it hurts every time it happens," Leon said, folding his legs and setting his computer on them. Reno came and sat next to him and peeked at the screen with a frown.
"Where do they live? A warehouse?"
"No, that's just the way their house always looks. They're in the capitol."
"Ick. That place is gross," Reno said, scrunching his face up in disdain.
"I know. The whole place is depressing."
"Well no wonder you're dumpy all the time. I would be too if I had to watch that shit," the redhead scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest with a huff. He squinted at the screen for a second and leaned closer. "What is on that guy's stomach?" he asked.
"Geostigma. At least I think it is. No one's actually said what it is, but I'm fairly confident in that assumption."
"Oh. Ew. He looks moldy."
"You know, I understand you're trying to make light of the situation and joke around, but it's sort of insulting and I'm not even the one you're talking about."
"Sorry."
"Just tone it down. I'm not really in the mood."
"Understandable."
"Anyway, what did you want?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to say 'hi.' I didn't see you hardly at all today."
"Oh. Hi," Leon clipped, his patience waning.
"The evening ceremony is soon, did you want to go together?" Reno asked, watching the brunette's flat expression carefully.
"That's fine," Leon responded with a slight monotone. He stopped the feed and closed his computer again and set it aside. Reno furrowed his brows together as the other Carrier's expression stayed blank and stony. He put his hand on Leon's shoulder.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"I'm fine. I'm just really tired of Midgar's 'culture.' It's a repetitive cycle, and I can't see the end of it."
"Well… how long do you have until Cloud is supposed to come?"
"A few years still. It was stupid of me to think he would be early. I sort of kicked myself in the balls with that one."
"Yeah a little, but I understand that desire. I wish Rude would get here already."
"I'm aware," Leon snorted with a wry smirk. "At this point, the wait just means I get to watch Anna go through a couple more awful pregnancies before we get to the important part. I'm really not looking forward to it."
"You don't have to watch."
"I know. But I don't want to miss anything that might matter later on."
"I see. I don't know what to tell you, then."
"You don't have to say anything. It's just the way it is," Leon said. Reno patted his back a few times before standing.
"Anyway, let's get you out and away from all the negativity," he said, forcing his tone to sound happier. Leon nodded and followed him out of the room. The redhead had finally learned how to walk down the narrow staircase without hurting himself, and they were at the cathedral quickly. The people were already milling about and socializing with one another. The brunette found it easier to find distinctions between the individuals now that had been there a while, and could pick out a few familiar faces and put names to them. One of which was the Bead Maker, who saw him and quickly made its way over.
"Good evening Squall," it said with a smile. Leon gave it a tiny one in return. "I'm going to try and help you today."
"Help me with what?"
"Your experience with the ceremony."
"Oh… was I doing it wrong or something?" he asked confusedly. The Bead Maker laughed.
"Maybe a little, but you'll understand what I mean if I can help any. I'm not sure I can, but it won't hurt to try."
The Elder made its way to the front of the congregation and everyone sat, as was the routine. It said its nightly speech, adding another day to the count of how many the people have been gathering, and asked about new business. There was nothing to report; there rarely was. The Bead Maker sat across from the russet Carrier as the ceremony began. It wrapped its huge noodle hands around his, completely engulfing them as the singing started. Leon tried not to focus on how weird and icy the Shumi's skin felt against his and closed his eyes like he was supposed to. He could hear Reno humming next to him and listened closely to the tune and the words he didn't understand. He wasn't sure what else he was supposed to be doing.
Shortly after the ceremony went into full swing, Leon could feel his hands becoming substantially warmer, sweat worthy even. The singing seemed to get louder just before the ethereal whale squealing started. When it did, it was much louder than all of the previous ceremonies had been and Leon scowled, but kept his eyes closed. His vision lightened, like someone had come along and shined a light through his eyelids. His skin broke out in goosebumps and he shivered even though he felt impossibly warm.
Thin greenish stings, the Lifestream, drifted into his line of sight and curled around and around, billowing upwards and forming into a semi-discernable figure. It looked like a woman, but it was distant and blurry. It was just an outline, a squiggly outline, and hardly anything substantial, be he could see it. As the otherworldly howling continued and grew turbulent, the figure started crumbling apart piece by piece. Leon could hear some of the Shumi start crying, as they did every evening, as the figure fell onto a surface that he couldn't see. Its disintegrating body was dragged upwards by an invisible force, the whale-like wailing morphing into a melancholic and desperate cry. The people grew more and more upset as the figure faded, being forcibly yanked up and out of sight.
The howling stopped abruptly, the vision cleared, Leon's sight grew back to normal and aside from the sniffling and sobbing of the people around him, it was quiet. He peeled his eyes open timidly, unsure if he was supposed to, and saw the Bead Maker watching him, its face completely drenched in tears. It gave him a small wobbly smile.
"Did you see?" it asked quietly. Leon, unable to think of anything to say, gave it a tiny nod. The Bead Maker's smile widened, but its expression was still mourning.
"What did I see?" he asked confusedly, once he could get his voice to work. The Shumi let go of his hands and took a deep breath.
"Midgar started up another power plant somewhere. They most likely took another city."