The Right Choices
Chapter 11
By GCS
Emergency is not mine and neither are the characters. I don't make any money from them, but I do borrow them for entertainment.
Roy and Dixie found a table in a secluded corner of the cafeteria. "Roy I want to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have said those things. I know you look out for Johnny."
"It's okay Dixie. I mean yes I keep my eyes on him, probably a little too much. I mean he is a grown man."
"I know but he is so impulsive and somehow trouble always seems to find him." She smiled affectionately. "Maybe we need him more than we think he needs us."
"Well he does keep us on our toes." Roy let out a soft chuckle.
Dixie shrugged. "He was just so disoriented. It took me off guard I guess."
"Johnny does that." He sipped his coffee. "It's funny how much we all look to Cap for direction, especially Johnny. I mean he doesn't have anyone but us, but then he is so independent at times. I knew he was exhausted. Hell, we all were." He looked at Dixie. "Sorry." He usually didn't swear in front of a lady. Then he continued. "We didn't know if Cap had survived or…" The sentence hung in the air. Dixie knew what he would have said.
"He'll be okay Roy. His vitals are stable." Dixie put a reassuring hand on his arm.
"I couldn't help remembering the other times…" He paused and rubbed his face. "The other times he was injured like the electrocution when I had to treat him. Then there was the time that valve blew and he hurt his knee. It was bad, but this. We didn't know. He was buried in rubble." Roy turned his coffee cup on the table. "It's hard enough when it's one of the guys, but Cap always leads us through that. He seems to always know exactly what to do or say to keep us directed. When he's down it's…it's hard."
Dixie patted his arm again.
"Johnny…he wouldn't give up on any of us. He pushes himself beyond expectation for us and for the victims, sometimes beyond reason."
"And then he goes down."
"Yeah." Roy rubbed his face again. "But, Dixie, he's been on his own for so long. I think sometimes we smother him. Last night when everyone left, I just figured he caught a ride back to his Rover. I should have known he would never leave without knowing about Cap."
"Roy, John Gage has disappeared countless times in this hospital."
Roy smiled, "It is like his second home."
"No Roy, it's like his third home. Your house is his second home. You are very special to him."
"Do you know why he disappears? Why he slips away?"
"No, but I bet you're going to tell me." Dixie smiled and took her hand from his arm. She sat back waiting for Roy to continue.
"He told me once that his grandfather had taught him things about his people, their beliefs and customs. One of the things he taught Johnny involved meditation, bonding with nature and letting the spirits guide him. He goes to a quiet place. Here it's the roof, the courtyard when it's quiet, the stairwell and that linen closet. At the station, it's the hood of his Rover. When he's not injured, sick or working it's the mountains. That must be what he needed last night. He needed to be alone. We all left while he was in there. He didn't know we were leaving. I didn't know I was leaving him.".
"Of course you didn't." Dixie waited until she thought Roy was really listening. "He was already disoriented Roy. Dehydration does that. You know the symptoms. He probably couldn't think clearly. You were all shocked about the collapse and Hank getting hurt. Don't beat yourself up. They'll both be all right." Dixie did her best to reassure him. "Like you said Johnny's a big boy."
Looking up from his coffee Roy saw Emily Stanley making her way over to their table. He stood and pulled out a chair for her. He and Dixie stayed to keep her company while she ate.
Up in Hank's room Johnny stretched and looked at his mentor. Johnny thought he looked kind of small in the hospital bed. Not at all like the strong leader he always seemed to be. "Come on Cap. Me and the guys need you. Your family needs you." He leaned back in the chair and ran his fingers through his hair. "I screwed up again. I guess I didn't realize how off I was. It's a good thing Dixie found me. I couldn't think. I mean all I could think about was you not waking up. Grandfather always said to meditate when I couldn't get things straight. I never meant to pass out like that." Johnny sat quietly for a long time. He got up and walked over to the window.
The sun shinned brightly, and the skies were clear, another beautiful California day. 'A good day for hiking,' Johnny thought.
He turned back to look at Hank. Rubbing his face with his hands, he looked back at his reflection in the glass. "I don't...you…aw hell Cap you know you're important to me…at least I hope you do. You gotta wake up." He moved away from the window and back to the chair.
He was tired.
Sliding down into the chair, he leaned forward and rested his arms on the side of the bed. "Don't tell anyone I said this, but you're like…like my dad. My father died so long ago. I never want to go through that again. I don't want anyone to go through that again. I guess that's why I do what I do." He sighed deeply.
Johnny laid his head down on his hands. "I guess that's why I know…" He spoke into his hands. "I know I made the right choice becoming a fireman, then a rescue man, and finally a paramedic. I can help people, the victims and their families. I can help keep them together. They don't have to go through what I went through. I know I made the right choice becoming Roy's partner and coming to 51's. That's when I became part of a family again. That's when you came." Johnny grew very quiet and after a few minutes his breathing evened out and his head lulled to the side.
He never knew Hank had woken up and watched him, listening, from the time he had started talking. Hank knew how hard it could be for Johnny to open up, and he usually only did that with Roy. If he had known he was awake Johnny would never have said those things.
Dr. Brackett peeked into the treatment room expecting to see Roy watching over Johnny. The room was empty. The drained IV bag hung from the pole with the tubing snaking across the empty treatment bed. "I'll kill him." He shook his head and turned from the room.
Stalking to the nurse's desk, he asked Carol where he could find Dixie. After hearing that she and Roy had gone to the cafeteria for a break, he briskly made his way in that direction. "Where is he?" He barked out as he approached the table.
"What?" Roy and Dixie asked at the same time.
"Johnny's gone." Kel exclaimed.
"I think I know where he might be," Emily said as she rose from her seat.
The four moved quickly from the table and set out to find their missing friend.
The door opened and Emily, Roy, Dixie and Dr. Brackett crowded into the room. Emily met her husband's eyes and smiled excitedly, "You're awake!"
Johnny had his head on his folded arms facing the door sound asleep.
Hank had his hand on Johnny's head in a simple act of fatherly love. He lifted his other hand to his mouth and placed a finger over his lips in a shushing move to keep them from waking his sleeping paramedic.
They all smiled in understanding knowing everything was going to be all right now.
The End.