The smell of antiseptic and floor polish washed over Sideswipe as he and his family entered the hospital. It was a familiar smell—Knockout's medbay had always had the same scent. Usually the smell made Sideswipe feel safe, but it brought him no comfort today. Windblade squeezed his hand as they made their way through the halls. Even Hot Rod was quiet. Despite his youth, he understood the gravity of the situation.

Knockout's three weeks were nearly up. It had felt more like three days. Sideswipe wished desperately for a little more time, but deep down, he knew no amount of time would be enough to prepare him for this day.

He wasn't ready. Not for this.

Knockout was reading a datapad when they entered his room. Sideswipe noticed his hands trembling. His legs had stopped working days ago; his transformation cog had seized up long before then. He was breaking down. But still he greeted his family with a smile.

"Sides! Mein leben! Thank you for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it." He forced a smile. Hot Rod clambered onto the hospital bed and snuggled up to his grandpa. Knockout hugged the sparkling tight.

"Good to see you, bitlet. And Windblade—you look fabulous as always." He kissed her hand. Windblade forced a smile.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"As well as ever, thanks. There's a cute little nurse who's been waiting on me." Knockout smirked roguishly. Sideswipe didn't laugh, though. He couldn't.

"Grandpa?" Hot Rod piped up. He looked at Knockout with wide optics. "Mommy and Daddy said you're going to die. But that's not true, is it?"

A heavy silence fell over the room. Knockout glanced at his son for guidance. Sideswipe couldn't meet his gaze.

"…No. That's not true." Knockotu said, to Sideswipe's shock. He gave his grandson a reassuring grin. "I'm just going on a trip. A long trip. Going to go see some old friends."

"Oh." Hot Rod looked relieved. "So you'll come back soon?"

"We'll…see what happens. But no matter how long I'm gone, I'll be with you here—" Knockout tapped Roddy's spark chamber. "-When you need me most."

The answer seemed to satisfy Hot Rod. The conversation shifted topics. They talked for hours, and the dark cloud receded for a time. Sideswipe mostly listened. He wished this moment could go on forever. But all too soon, a nurse appeared in the doorway. She cleared her throat, looking to Knockout for confirmation.

"I know, it's time." Knockout sighed. He hugged Hot Rod again. "Sorry, bitlet, but it's time for you to go home."

"We'll miss you." Windblade said softly as she pried the reluctant sparkling away. She glanced at Sideswipe, sharing a long look.

"I'll be home in a bit." He assured her. She nodded and led Hot Rod out of the room.

"Bye, Grandpa! Have a good trip!" The sparkling shouted. Knockout waved until he was out of sight. With a sigh, he reclined in his berth. Sideswipe sat silently by his side.

"…You don't have to do this, you know." Sideswipe finally spoke up. "You might still have some time left—"

Knockout shook his head. "I can feel my spark weakening, Sides. I was lucky to last this long. It's better to end it now—quickly and painlessly." He reached for his son's hand. Sideswipe took it and gripped it as tight as he could. "Thank you for being here with me."

"You're welcome, Dad."

A trio of medics came in, and Knockout indicated that they could begin. They went to work silently, disconnecting tubes and shutting off machines. Sideswipe tried not to think about what they were really doing. Anger was rising amidst his grief. Anger at Knockout for not trying to gain more time. Anger at himself for being so helpless. Anger at the universe for allowing this to happen. It wasn't fair.

Knockout squeezed his hand. "It's all right, Sides."

"No, it's not." Tears filled the young mech's optics. He couldn't hold them back any longer. "I'm...I'm not ready for this, Dad."

"Neither am I. But you know what? I didn't think I was ready to be a guardian, either." Knockout smiled. "And that turned out to be the best decision I ever made."

Sideswipe gulped. It wasn't the same. Not at all. But he wasn't going to spend his last moments with his dad arguing.

"I'll miss you." He whispered.

"I'll miss you, too. But as long as you remember me, I'll be with you. Always."

Windblade paced the floor anxiously. At this rate, she was going to carve a rut into it.

"Is Daddy coming home soon?" Hot Rod asked, looking up from his toy cars.

"It might be a bit longer—" Windblade stopped as she heard a car pull up. She rushed to the door just as Sideswipe stepped inside. His head hung low, and when he did look up, she could see the remnants of tears in his optics.

"Oh, Sides…" She gripped his hands.

"It was quick and painless…just like he wanted." Sideswipe whispered. "Like going into recharge."

"I'm sorry, Sides." Windblade hugged him. He leaned into her embrace, just grateful for her presence. Hot Rod peeked into the room.

"Daddy?"

"Daddy needs some time alone—" Windblade began, but Sideswipe signaled for her to stop. He walked over to Hot Rod and picked the sparkling up.

"Hey, Roddy. It's past your bedtime, isn't it? Come on, let's get you to recharge."

Hot Rod snuggled into his father's shoulder as they headed for the bedroom. "Did Grandpa go on his trip?"

"…Yes. He did."

"I wish he didn't have to go."

"So do I, bud." Sideswipe sighed. He set Hot Rod down on the berth, but the sparkling squirmed to get down.

"I don't want to go into recharge! I'm not sleepy!"

"Oh really?" The ghost of a smile crossed Sideswipe's face. "Maybe a lullaby will change that." He began singing softly. "Good night my angel, now it's time to sleep, and save these questions for another day…"

Memories flowed through him as he tucked Hot Rod into his berth. In his mind's eye, he could see another pouty sparkling being lulled to sleep by the voice of a loving guardian. And he would never forget that guardian. Knockout may be one with the Allspark, but he would always live on in Sideswipe's memory, and the memory of his other loved ones. Sideswipe would make sure he was never forgotten.

"Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby-" Sideswipe kissed Hot Rod as the sparkling's optics dimmed. "Then in your heart, there will always be a part of me."

Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on.

They never die; that's how you and I will be.

Welp. I cried writing this, so y'all better have cried reading it. Credit to Billy Joel for the song-"Lullaby," one of my favorites.
Please note: THE STORY IS NOT OVER. My friend journal129 wanted me to add an epilogue, so there'll be one more chapter. You should all go thank her by reading and favoriting her stories.