Twilight: Truth or Dare: Episode 11
RATING: W for I Wonder if anyone even bothers reading this top part anyway…
WARNING: I do not own Twilight… obviously
EMILY: Welcome back to another Twilight: Truth or Dare! Nicole, meet Cullens, Quileutes, and the Volutri. Everyone, this is Nicole, my new DA. Oh yeah, and on the other side of me is Seth, my Padawan.
NICOLE: Hi everyone.
EMILY: Come on, you can sound more excited than that! I, er, Alec brought candy! *pulls out the Malmart bag for the staff, meaning Nicole, Seth, and herself*
NICOLE: Oh, I call the Now and Laters!
EMILY: Fine, just save me one. I'm going for the Dove chocolates. *tosses one random candy to each person*
VAMPIRES: *wondering what they're supposed to do with it*
EMILY: And Seth, don't you dare try to give any more to your pack. In order to be a director you need to know where your allegiances lie.
SETH: But…
EMILY: So now that we're about to be hyped up on sugar, I'll begin by reading-
NICOLE: *raises hand*
EMILY: Nicole. We're staff members; we don't need to raise our hands. What is it?
NICOLE: Sorry. I was just wondering why Edward, if that is Edward, has pink hair and a superhero outfit.
EMILY: First of all, it's not a superhero outfit. It's a neon green spandex bodysuit. Secondly… he's just weird like that.
EDWARD: I am not!
EMILY: Moving right along, this is from Mind the music:
Thanx again and this is sooo good! Super good!
Truth:Who is chealsea's favorite Glee character.
Dare: Edward has to sing a Defying Gravity duet with Aro... holding hands so they both know what eachother is thinking!
Hooray for Glee themed Dares!
CHELSEA: Personally, I think Kurt's pretty amazing. Rachel sings well too, but she's a complete brat sometimes and Finn's not that bright. So yeah, Kurt.
NICOLE: Oh, I love that song! Can we sing it with them? Pleasepleaseplease?
EMILY: Okay, too much sugar for you! Of course not; that kills the point of the dare.
NICOLE: But…
EMILY: Later. Maybe when you come over to my place again.
NICOLE: Oh, and then we can play Kingdom Hearts!
EMILY: Exactly.
ARO: This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to concentrate on the high note when I'm staring at that clown?
EDWARD: It's not my fault!
SETH: Maybe you could face forward and hold hands?
ARO: …I guess that works.
Edward and Aro grab hands and look the other way as they begin singing.
EDWARD: Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
ARO: Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!BOTH: It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!
NICOLE: Whoohoo! Encore!
JASPER: So what were you guys thinking?
ARO: I think we were both thinking something along the lines of how weird that was.
EDWARD: Aro was actually thinking about how amazing the show Wicked was. The first time he saw it he cried.
ARO: Hey, that was personal information!
SETH: Nothing's personal here.
EMILY: That's the spirit! I see great potential in you, my Padawan. Gum?
SETH: Sure! *takes the pack of gum*
EMILY: Nicole, would you like to take this next one?
NICOLE: Of course! It's from LaughterIsLife:
Ah, Embry, I have my reasons for accusing you of having a sick obsession with her. I know you have a shrine to her in your closet. Anywho, I dare Embry to declare his love for a piece of cheese. For truth, hey there Sam, hmm, are you afraid of...spiders?
Haha keep this going. This provides me with plenty of laughs everyday
EMBRY: *looks the other way*
NICOLE: *digging through the Walmart bag* I don't see any cheese in here, just candy.
EMILY: Try my Bag of Doom.
NICOLE: *switches bags* Oh, hey! What do you know, it's a giant roll a cheese.
SAM: What was that doing it there?
JASPER: The director's Bag of Doom is actually very like the Mary Poppins one in the way that in can fit just about anything into it.
EMMETT: And how would you know that?
JASPER: Because I've recently been promoted to Jasper the Exhibition Vampire.
EMMETT: Meaning?
JASPER: I'm here to explain everything that seems otherwise unclear, despite logically having no way of knowing what it is I'm saying myself.
EMMETT: Hmph. I don't like Jasper the Exhibition Vampire. I like Jasper the Vampire Whose Stupidity Makes Emmett's Slightly Less Excusable.
JASPER: You stole that from Darth Maligna's Lord of the Rings fan fictions.
EMMETT: How would you even know that?
JASPER: I told you. I'm now Jasper the Exhibition Vampire.
OMINOUS VOICE: And I'm Demetri the Ominous Voiceover Vampire!
ALL: …Right.
NICOLE: *hands Embry the cheese block*
EMBRY: Come one, guys. There is absolutely no way I'll ever… *begins fondling it* You have to be the most beautiful piece of cheese I've ever seen in my entire life. You're so big, and round, and shiny, and I want to spend every second of my life with you. Because I love you, cheese!
QUIL: Did Embry just imprint on that cheese?
SAM: I think this is the worst case we've seen yet.
JASPER THE EXHIBITION VAMPIRE: Yes, it is possible in this universe for shapeshifters to imprint on inanimate objects. It is also possible for male pregnancy, in case anyone's wondering.
CARLISLE: See? I wasn't that out of line!
ARO: Now we're officially scared.
SAM: Me? Of course I'm not afraid of spiders. But Collin is. Isn't that right, Collin?
COLLIN: It is not!
LEAH: Spider!
COLLIN: *high pitched girly scream as he jumps on top of the chair* Where? Kill it, kill it!
SAM: Told you.
EMILY: Okay, you can read this one, Seth.
SETH: Okie-dokey. Hey, look! Their pen name is Seth-is-hawt!
EMILY: I know. That's why I picked you to read it.
SETH:
Emily, U rock. I dare Demetri to dress up in a teapot costume and sing i`m a little teapot while doing the little dance. My truth is for Jacob. Why did u go after Bella after u knew she loved edward the most?
DEMETRI: Are you kidding me? I'm a professional at that dance!
EMILY: Good, because I've got the Mrs. Potts costume from Beauty and the Beast right here.
Demetri goes to put on the costume. When he comes out…
DEMETRI: I'm a little teapot,
Short and stout,
Here is my handle *one hand on hip*
Here is my spout *other arm out straight*
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me over and pour me out! *leans over toward 'spout'*
JACOB: Because, uh… I love her and you should never give up on love? Plus, it is possible to love to people at once. I'm 95% sure that's the case with her.
BELLA: It's not.
JACOB: 90% sure.
EDWARD: He just doesn't take a hint…
EMILY: So that's it for today! Nicole, here's your new taser, TOD II. Put him to good use in the future. And I'm almost an entire page behind on reviews, so I'll probably have another episode out by the end of today… probably, but maybe not. Anyway, thanks to everyone for helping to make this all possible, and I'll see you all next time on Twilight: Truth or Dare!