Chapter 11 – Regionals
Ok. Let me fix some of your fears. This is a Faberry fic, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you guys will reach it soon. XD But until then…oh and the song for this chapter is Faber Drive's "You and I tonight." If you have the chance listen to it.
/
"Alright guys. Heads-up. Regionals is pretty much here and it's time to write our songs again. The theme for the competition this time is change. Now this can be anything from relationships, family, even school, which is perfect. This is your last year and I can tell you all, you're not the same people who walked into this classroom two years ago."
In response, there was a wave of agreement and high fives. Santana nodded to herself and Brittany smiled her innocent grin. The team was united. Mr Schue felt a glimmer of pride. He would do anything it took to make their dreams come true, they were all so talented. Everyone had grown so much over the years. But still, he couldn't help but worry about the blonde who was just barely with them in the room, staring despondently at the wall. He couldn't help but notice how Rachel's eyes seem to be fixated to the ex-captain's head, hands wrung in her lap. The music teacher had never seen the poised brunette look so uncomfortable. She seemed to shrink under Finn's arm. Mr Schue cleared his throat.
"OK. Rachel, Quinn, I thought since you girls did such a good job with the song for sectionals, you might want to team up writing this duet as well. The rest of us can work on the group number."
The curly haired teacher kept an eye open, gouging their reaction. Quinn and Rachel were volatile elements but there were times when it almost seemed like they could be close, understanding each other to a strange level. Mr Schue had to wonder if all bully-victim relationships were like this. Did Kurt understand Dave Kartofsky in the same way? Somehow he doubted it. The music teacher found no reaction. The blonde ex-cheerleader still hasn't said anything, with the only indication of awareness being the slight flicker in her green eyes. Behind, the diva wore a slight frown and a creased forehead.
"…I'll take your silence as a yes then. Well it looks like that's all we're going to get done today. Let's just make plans to get together to go over it next lesson. I expect progress, guys."
It seems like impeccable timing because at that moment the bell rings, signaling the start of the school day. The members of New Direction file out of the room, sleepily dragging themselves to their next class. Santana bumps Quinn's shoulders softly on her way out whilst Brittany stops to hug the ex-captain. The softball player is thankful for her friends. She manages to shove her notepad into her bag before she turns to the exit. A warm hand stops her, tentatively holding onto her wrist. Quinn sighed. There was only one person that caused tremors to run through her body like that. When she finally turned her head back, she's met with curious and passionate browns. They both stay completely still. The words slip out in a raspy command and Quinn tries to inject some of her old self into her voice.
"Lunch. Auditorium. One thirty. We'll work on the song…"
She fails.
/
It's halfway through the day when the blonde meanders her way to the dark theatre room. Her McKinley duffel knocks repeatedly against her thigh with each stride. It's a comforting feeling, keeping her grounded. The ex-captain has been off since the night of the diva's birthday. Thoughts and feelings run rampant in her mind in that she feels unhinged. Her stomach now churned at the thought of Thai food. The areas around her eyes were dark from the lack of sleep. Her mother had since changed her bedding, removing the last traces of Rachel that might've helped. For a brief moment, Quinn had been thankful until she realized that the singer's smell had already been burned into her mind. At night her body still searched for something tangible, only to remember that she had given the stuffed animal away.
She slips tiredly onto the piano stool, taking a blank sheet out of her folder. A soft tune fills the room as her fingers dance.
Eventually there's the sound of soft footsteps approaching the piano. The softball player doesn't stop playing. She simply looks up with an indifferent expression. She wonders if her effort is obvious. Rachel stands timidly by the instrument. The diva can't remember the last time her heart was beating so fast. The only thing she knows is that it had nothing to do with Finn. Breathing fills the silence. The blonde's posture straightens
"You're late…"
It's a statement not a question. The brunette blushes, looking everywhere but at the taller girl. Shyly, she tucks a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear. She's been on this stage a thousand times but it always seemed bigger, grander when the blonde was with her on it. The darkly lit hall is one of the few places where they lose control and reveal a little more than they intend. They're real. Rachel looks across the space.
"I was thinking about what to say."
There's nothing but honesty in her tone. She meets Quinn's gaze. The ex-cheerleader has her eyebrow raised slightly before looking down at the keys. She doesn't have to because she knows the instrument like an extension of her own body but it's an excuse to gather her scattered thoughts. Finally a steady murmur comes out.
"Rachel Berry… lost for words? Never thought I'd live to see that happen."
Without speaking, the singer moves forward, placing her hands on the piano's stop. Weary green eyes follow her movements. Rachel tries not to shudder.
"Well, I never thought things would be like this, Quinn…"
Abruptly, there's a stop to the music. The blonde's fingers still. Frustration and exhaustion flows into her expression. The two girls seem to do nothing but stare, willing the other to back down when all they really wanted was the opposite. It was just another point on the list of things that they couldn't say.
After all, we're only human…always fighting what we're feeling…
The ex-cheerleader shakes her head.
"There's nothing to talk about, Berry."
The words shoot through the brunette. Her mouth opens to say something but she stops. Quinn has already turned away, focusing on the blank sheet music. The blonde has dismissed the issue and that causes an irritated feeling to bubble in in the singer. Rachel rarely feels rage, choosing to believe in positive emotions but at this point all she wants to do is yell at the taller girl in front of her. But, she doesn't. There's never been a need for her to yell at the softball player. They might not have agreed on things but they always listened. So instead she simply leans closer, her expression defiant and stubborn.
"What happened between us that night?"
A clang is heard as the blonde's finger's hit the keys hard. The tension is coming off in waves. Rolling her eyes, Quinn's gaze flicker up to the singer's face. She enunciates every word, hoping that with force, the lie would sink in. It hadn't worked for heryet but maybe…just maybe.
"Nothing. Finn was late, so I kept you company until he got there. You looked sad on your birthday so we danced. Stop pushing Rachel. I don't have the answers that you're looking for. God…"
The brunette is frozen as her breathing hitches. The words stung but her mind seems to lock onto the use of her first name. Quinn rarely spoke it out loud, as if it was voodoo or something. And in some ways it was. Because to the blonde it meant that she was unraveling. When did the short singer stop being Berry? When did she become Rachel to her? Berry was an acquaintance, tolerated and often ignored. Rachel was… something more, something she couldn't distance herself from. She sighed heavily looking away, around the room, to the ceiling, anywhere but here. Her tired voice expels.
"You should be happy. Let it go… We're not wasting any more time on this. So let's just write the song."
Quinn places her hand on the keys again. She focuses on the task before her. Whether the other girl decided to join in or not was her prerogative. The softball player just didn't want to think anymore. She does that enough in the loneliness of her room. Rachel takes a deep breath moving towards the stationary girl. Her eyes are sad and slightly averted. The question comes out softly, thickened by emotion.
"Why are you so afraid?"
Silence. For a while nothing happens. Then Quinn starts to pack up her bags and Rachel knows that she's pushed too far. The blonde's movements are agitated and erratic as her short bangs swing with the flurry of action. The singer just stands, watching somberly. Eventually, the ex-captain stepped into the shorter girl's space. They both flinched. It's not out of fear. As strange as it was they didn't scare each other. It was just the feelings, thoughts and the reactions that knocked them off. The taller girl feels a stab with each word that comes out. She didn't lie about all of it. She really doesn't have the answers but right no she feels too threatened to care.
"…You know what. This time let me be to one to walk away. Don't worry about it, I'll write the song without you. "
It's the second time Quinn walks away from the brunette. And it's the second time for it to mean something more to either girl.
They tried breathing through the hurt.
/
Mr Schue sat in his chair flipping through the loose sheets of music. In his mind he was transposing the symbols into sound. Two days had passed, the glee club had gotten together to write the group number but Quinn and Rachel had both been absent. Everyone had attributed it to them writing the duet. If so, it was worth it because the finished product took the music teacher's breath away. There was truth and openness to this that he had never experienced before. He looked up at the ex-cheerleader by the window. She had her trademark pensive expression.
"Wow, You wrote this Quinn? This…this is a great song. There's so much emotion and the composition is perfect. Did Rachel help you with this?"
At the mention, the blonde seemed to harden, letting out a frustrated sigh. She stood a little straighter and her hand ran through her short hair in an irritated fashion. When she spoke her brows were creased and she wore a glower.
"No. Berry and I decided to do this separately. We don't work well together."
She turned back to the window, observing the other students going home. It didn't faze her; she had no desire to rush. Her bedroom had just turned into another place in her life that was tied to the diva, one that she hated but couldn't let go. Mr Schue shifted in his seat. His eyes flickered from the sheet music in his hand to the girl in his classroom. There was a clench in her jaw. The music teacher often felt empathy to the blonde who had to grow up so fast. It wasn't fair, but it seemed that she was strong enough to get through. In many respects, he shouldn't have asked his next question but he couldn't help it. Alarm bells were ringing in his head. His curiosity and worry for the wellbeing of his kids propelled him.
"Why do you do that Quinn? You never call Rachel by her first name. It's been two years. You helped her with Kelsey. It's been proven you do know each other so why can't you get along?"
The softball player's head turned to meet the music teacher's gaze. The normally determined green eyes were swirling with some unnamed emotion. For a second she looked dangerous. Her arms were crossed and she stood by the wall. The distance felt safe but suddenly Mr Schue felt outranked. It seemed Quinn commanded the room even regardless of age or uniform. Her voice is smooth, measured and final. It didn't betray anything.
"…Mr Schue I respect you but this is none of your business. "
The music teacher flinched internally but he forced himself to hold her gaze. However his eyes did belie his hurt. He liked to think that over the years he had created a close bond with all the students in glee, that he was somebody they could talk to. So the minutes passed, Quinn seemed to soften, she took a couple of steps forward and her hand traced the edge of a desk. The blonde looked around the room. Her voice came across soft and reflective. She was playing the scene in her mind.
"Two years ago, you told me that you knew that I was the one behind Glist because I had nothing to lose. You were right, I didn't. But I got everything back. I actually got it better, like you said."
The music teacher nodded at the memory, smiling. It was one of the first instances that he had really seen the blonde for who she was, just a girl, lost. However, it was a great contrast to the version of Quinn before him now. There was still a large amount of confusion but it seemed to be controlled by a something else. Something, that caused her to smile and grimace at the same time. The blonde had a stronger understanding of herself now, but she often wondered if that was better. Being aware seemed to affect her actions more. The ex-cheerleader looked up as the truth filtered out.
"Now I do have something to lose."
Mr Schue swallowed at the seriousness of statement. With that Quinn looked away. The music teacher seemed to appreciate that that was all the information she was willing to disclose on the matter. He turned his head to the music score in his hand. His mind was running, trying to compute all that he had heard.
"Ok Quinn. Well, this is…the perfect song for regionals. I just wish you had told us sooner about your skills. Between you and Finn, we could have really used talents like yours last year. Although I'll admit Finn ability seems to come and go."
Mr Schue tilted his head thoughtfully as he turned to grab something from his drawer. The blonde rolled her eyes, scoffing. He came back with a large set of brochures. The music teacher flipped through the bunch picking out a few. The blonde stared deadpan.
"Have you ever considered taking writing and musical compositions courses in college after you graduate? You could really go on to do something with your piano talents."
Quinn scoffed. An errant thought seemed to pass through her mind before she quickly shrugged it off. She turned to the Mr Schue and her eyes were clear because there were still some things she was sure of.
"No, I'm not going there. Music? That's Berry's thing. I don't care what I do – I just want out of Lima."
Deflated, Mr Schue nodded putting the information back into his desk.
"Alright, I guess I can accept that."
Quinn moved back to the window grabbing her duffel. It seemed the conversation was over. He watched her pack up her belongings. Her eyes seem to stray to the music sheet in his hand. He thought he could see the barest traces of uncertainty, reverence and protectiveness. Mr Schue faltered at the hidden emotions, without a doubt the blonde did care, though about what he had no idea. He believed that there were very few who did. He could feel the question at the tip of his tongue.
"Are you at least going to talk the person in your song about how you feel?"
"No."
It's a short answer without any hesitation. Quinn lifted the bag strap to her shoulder. When she turned around she was met Mr Schue's questioning gaze.
"Why?"
This time, there's a small shake of the head and a sad smile as the blonde stares pointedly at the spot behind the music teacher. At the entrance, stood Ms Pillsbury looking equal bits curious, nervous and embarrassed for interrupting. Unconsciously Mr Schue couldn't stop the grin that appeared on his face as he took in the crisp blouse and sensible cardigan. His eyes lingered on the redhead's quirky flushed smile before he turned back to the blonde he had been speaking to. Quinn seems to pause as the words roll around in her mouth. There's a conflicted sense of knowing in her eyes as she casts a look to the music teacher and the guidance counselor by the door.
"Because sometimes, it's about what you don't say…"
/
Struck by the statement, Mr Schue lowered himself into his chair at the blonde's departure. From the corner of his eyes he could see the ginger haired counselor move closer. She placed her hand concernedly on his shirt-covered shoulder. Automatically, his eyes closed at the touch. He could still feel the warmth. It was calming and reassuring. He felt his love for the obsessive-compulsive faculty member swell.
"Hey… Will, are you alright?"
With that, he returned to the presence. The music teacher tried to shake the thoughts away, smiling gently at the redhead.
"Yeah, sorry about that, I was just thinking about something Quinn said to me. We were talking about her future an –"
Excited by the topic, Emma jumped in. She had just received the orders from Principal Figgins a minute ago. She spoke brightly, all the while moving to clean a nearby chair down with disinfectant wipes.
"Actually that's what I needed to talk to you about. In about the next month or so I'm going to be conducting career-counseling sessions with the seniors. Most of the glee club kids are actually first on the list."
Mr Schue groaned, placing his head into his hands. He rubbed his temples slowly trying to release the tension.
"Well, good luck with that. Some of them are like a closed book. Others don't really have a lot of aspirations."
Ms Pilsbury seemed to scrunch her face at the idea. Mr Schue smiled at the adorable manner that her nose crinkled. He ran a hand through his curly hair. As he spoke, his eyes were warm and his voice was soft.
"But I'd love to help you out, if I can."
"Thanks Will."
The redhead blushed under the attention. It was ridiculous she seemed to be attracted by anything that the music teacher did. After the summer break and the start of school her feelings hadn't diminished at all. Her hands wiped the surface of the chair with more purpose as she tried to regulate her breathing. Her vision lingered on his hunched posture. The music teacher's expression was furrowed in thought. She had often admired his dedication. Awkwardly she stepped close to Mr Schue.
"I can see that something else is on your mind. Will… you can talk to me…being a guidance counselor, I guide."
Her hands move nervously with her words. The music teacher smiles, just grateful for her presence. He would convince her they were worth the shot. He loved her quirks and all. She would see that. But for now, all he did was expel a breath.
"I think Quinn and Rachel are having problems again and that's just not good for the club."
Ms Pillsbury turned back to her task of cleaning the chair. She spoke over her shoulder.
"Well, that's no secret. The girls have never gotten along before. I mean I've read some of the Myspace video comments Quinn, Santana and the rest of the cheerios used to post. They're not exactly friendly."
Three more wipes. The ginger haired faculty member tilted her head, appraising her job. Was it safe enough to sit on? Her ears still keyed in on Will's response. Frustration, confusion and concern was embedded in his tone.
"I know Emma. It's like… I can't explain it. Just that there are times where they're in the same moment or something and I swear they care. I mean I don't know much about female friendships. Terri never did have anyone over. So is this …normal?"
Finally satisfied, the guidance counselor seated herself on the wooden chair. She meets the music teacher's gaze and the words just flow out of her mouth. She finds that she gets flustered in such proximity with the object of her affections. Her hands fidget, wanting something to keep busy with, to rearrange.
"I guess it's possible I mean relationships are strange. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't. Not everyone gets along. There are feelings. Nothing ever fits into a neatly wrapped box."
Every word has made her more nervous and now her mouth was dry. Her pale skin was getting heated. Mr Schue leaned forward. He wanted to reach for her hand but stopped himself.
"Are we still talking about the kids?"
Emma's mouth opened and closed. Her voice was high pitched and irregular. Her hands went to rearrange the pencils on the music teacher's desk.
"No. Yes! Of course."
/
It was the day of Regionals.
The curtains lift. Members of New Directions band together on stage latching on to each other's hands. The thrill of performing hits all of them as the clapping and cheers of their audience greets their ears. They're lost in the moment. All but two, the brunette standing center-stage and the blonde by the piano. They're paces apart but it doesn't really matter. Being close would be too difficult; they had learnt that during the rehearsals. Rachel breathed deeply but her heart keeps racing. It feels like it's about to jump out of her skin. Ever since Mr Schue had presented the song to the group, the singer has had nothing else on her mind. Did Quinn mean it? Any of it? The words are so ingrained into her being that she can't ignore.
But the difference is that this time, she wants to forget because the distance is hurting the both of them… whether they can admit or not.
On the other end, Quinn stares distantly at her hands as they opened and close in front of her. She was trying to get some feeling back. Now closer to the start of the number, she felt the blood drain from her limbs, overwhelming her head and heart. Her heart is thumping and her head is throbbing. What was she doing? She looks up and, for a second, everything is all right because tear filled browns hold green. It's only for a second, before Rachel whips her head away and Quinn forces her composure to return. The moment provides some sort of courage because the blonde feels herself move. The opening chords start and the notes flow in. Her breath is held until the diva's voice reaches her ear; soft, solemn and for the first time unsure.
The brunette does not look to Quinn, she can't. Their truths were about to be laid out for the world to see, but only they would know.
Tonight a candle lights the room,
Tonight it's only me and you,
Your skin, like gravity
Is pulling every part of me,
I fall, you and I collide
Rachel's eyes are closed. She lets the music fill her as she remembers everything; the small candles that lit up the restaurant and Quinn's solid presence in the dark. That night, her body had moved closer with each passing step and like magnets, she had no control. She remembers feeling safe, wanted and shockingly loved… The sensations of the Quinn's hands still remain on her waist and in her palm. The diva danced swiftly in a circle in front of the audience. In her mind, she's not alone. In her mind, she's with the ex-cheerleader and her head is forever tucked into a pale neck that she wants to hide inside.
But that's not reality. Her eyes open and she stares at the pianist. It takes a moment before the blonde's head lifts and their eyes lock. They're both breathing quite heavily. Santana and Brittany watch from the side, only they notice the other world that existed behind the song. The words roused the crowd.
What if I stay forever?
What if there's no goodbye?
Frozen for a moment here in time,
Rachel smiles softly, her eyes are slightly broken because it's an offer that doesn't really exist in this time and place. Her voice blows through the high ceiling room.
Yeah,
If you tell me the sky is falling,
Or say that the stars collide,
She shakes her head, in turn shaking away the moisture from her eyes. It removes the physical effects of the song but the same couldn't be said about the emotional. Rachel Berry always sung with everything that she was but she had never felt this raw, this exposed.
The only thing that matters in my life,
Is you and I tonight…
With the last line her volume diminishes slightly. Only emphasizing the meaning of the words. Rachel stared helplessly at the softball player before turning to her tall footballer. There's a brave smile pasted onto her face and Quinn wills herself to breathe. Her finger nearly slips on a wet key. There's a clumsy moment as Finn walks over to give the brunette's hand an encouraging squeeze before turning to the crowd. Rachel finds herself watching the footballer intently. He was without a care. She wonders why he doesn't see straight through her… She wonders why Quinn does. Piercing greens stare in her direction but it is Finn's singing that meets her ear.
The singer thinks it's a figment of her imagination but she swears she hears the blonde's voice as well. The softball player believes her singing is too low to be heard, but she feels a strange exhilaration under Rachel's curious gaze. Quinn swallows and the memories play behind her eyes like a silent movie.
Our eyes close the candle burns away,
But I know the fire still remains
The pianist is the picture of grace as her head moves rhythmically with the playing of the music. The diva wants to paint herself in. She notices how the blonde's voice seemed to change with each word. There's knowledge of the truth mixed with the desire to believe a lie, because hey… it would be easier.
This love is all we need
We fit together perfectly,
They recall how their bodies seem to match each other. Quinn watches as the footballer grabs onto the brunette's hand. She feels a flash of something that causes her fingers to hit the notes hard. Santana shoots the blonde a look but the ex-captain doesn't quite care. Finn's large palms seem to swallow Rachel's. When she looks up she can see the diva looking over the footballer's frame. The blonde whispers the line.
I fall, you and I collide
For a moment there's a pause before the chorus. Finn gathers the small singer into his arms and smiles down. The audience softens and cheers at the sight. The baritone's strong voice attempts to carry the passion in the offer. There's love in his eyes and the brunette falters. The only problem was that it wasn't his words, his promise, to give. Quinn looks down to the keys as she's reminded of all she can't or won't, do.
What if I stay forever?
What if there's no goodbye?
Frozen for a moment here in time,
Yeah,
If you tell me the sky is falling,
We'll say that the stars collide,
The only thing that matters in my life,
Is you and I tonight
They've reached the climax. Rachel takes a breath, turning to the footballer. Her lines come out different. She has to push past the ache and the blockage in her throat, in that there's so much charge to the words. It actually adds to the performance, however unexpected. Brittany squeezes Santana's hand and they both share a solemn look.
I wanna see this through
I wanna give it all to you
The brunette turns away, for a second she can't face either of them. She misses the burning concern in the green orbs that follows her. Unaware, Finn finishes enthusiastically. His voice is low and manages to match the pace of the song. From the back, Santana wants to knock her head against a wall at his ignorance or naiveté. Finn was either, so blind or so unreceptive to the girl he claimed to love, that he doesn't actually see. Or he was honestly innocent enough to believe that all was well. Her eyes look to Artie and Finn. Her only thought was love without understanding…
Tonight a candle lights the room
Tonight, it's only me and you, oh
With that, the rest of New Directions filter in, joining the leads in the final chorus. Santana and Brittany automatically make their way to their blonde friend. There's a supporting hand to the shoulder and whispers of happiness and sleepovers after the win. It's all they can do before Quinn is ready to confront this. The two girls dance their parts, managing to hide the ex-captain from the looks of others. The only person they let in through gaps of movement is the brunette diva. The ex-cheerleader and the singer's eyes are held for the rest of the song.
What if I stay forever?
What if there's no goodbye?
Frozen for a moment here in time,
Yeah,
If you tell me the sky is falling,
Or say that the stars collide,
The only thing that matters in my life,
Is you and I tonight
Tell me the sky, forever
Just you and I tonight
Tell me the sky,
What if I stay?
Just you and I tonight
A tear slips down Rachel's face as she looks to her feet. She could cry on cue. But this time, it's not in her control to stop. Whereas, Quinn is inhaling erratically as she leans her head into her palms. She could run suicides for hours. But this time, it's not in her control to breathe normally.
/
At the performances finish, Rachel moves off the stage, powering through the other glee members. Mercedes and Kurt direct each other confused worried glances. Quinn wars with herself. There's a strong imperative to chase after the singer but she questions whether she should. Because really, what could she say? She still didn't have the answers. The song was just…everything she couldn't express. She didn't think it would matter. Rachel loved Finn. For the ex-captain, it was a release and now, in the aftermath, she realizes that it might have harmed the both of them, perhaps more than they expected.
Her lips purse and her jaw clenches. Quinn questions the concept of free will. She's starting to doubt whether she possess it, for she wasn't free to choose. Her legs were decidedly going in the direction of the diva. In her haste she bumps into something quite solid. The ex-cheerleader stumbles and is helped up by an apologetic Finn. The blonde tries to stomach her annoyance. He seems to be genuinely concerned.
"Hey, Quinn what's your hurry?"
She pauses, looking a little incredulous. Did he not see the upset short brunette singer rush off the stage? Off the side of her eye she sees Brittany walk off in Rachel's direction. Santana gives Quinn an eye roll as she reluctantly followed. The softball player felt herself relax slightly. The Latina and the tall dancer would make sure the diva was all right. Instead she gives her attention to the footballer.
"Nothing Finn... You did well on the song. Congratulations."
The shy giant blushed under the commendation. As modestly as he could, he shrugged his shoulders.
"Thanks. Hey…it was a really awesome song."
Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes. He really needed to get a larger vocabulary if he had any hope in understanding his girlfriend. The tall boy shuffled awkwardly. His features scrunched as his mouth opened and closed in attempts to say something.
"Um… I just want you to know. You can talk to me. I know we've been through a lot but we're friends aren't we? I mean you helped me with Rach."
Finn seemed to get more tongue-tied with each word. A sad smile makes its way to her face as she nods slowly. The boy instantly relaxed at the action. He leaned on a makeshift prop and sidled closer as if to share a secret. Briefly, the blonde recalls that before they dated they were friends. They were close. She realizes that missed that. The footballer's expression was warm, goofy and untroubled.
"Good. Do you want to talk about it? I mean I didn't know you felt that way about anyone. He must be really special. It's good Quinn. You deserve to be happy."
A scoff escapes and the ex-cheerleader turns her head away. The footballer takes this as a sign of shyness and pushes forward. He misreads the signals, it's not the first time and the ex-cheerleader knows that it won't be the last.
"Maybe I could help I mean I know all the guys at McKinley. I could introduce you guys or something."
There's a silence as Quinn becomes lost in her thoughts. Looking into the Finn's eyes, she finally sees. She remembers why she started this, why she helped the footballer with the brunette. She also realizes the reasons why she couldn't do this, whatever this was... Everything in the lyrics that she had written was true. That night was over. That moment was gone. Now, in the days after, it wasn't just her and the diva anymore. They couldn't freeze time and she couldn't stay forever…
Quinn couldn't and Rachel wasn't going to.
Rachel Barbra Berry was going to Broadway, New York.
/
The next day the choir room buzzed with enthusiasm. Most of its residents celebrated the victory over Regionals. The judges had awarded McKinley the trophy citing exceptional chemistry and emotion. Rachel even received a special commendation, not that it had any effect. The singer didn't make a big deal out of it, surprising everyone. To her, it only showed how much she wasn't in love with Finn. Her plans for senior year have not gone as expected. To her alarm she was getting everything she thought she wanted: the perfect boy, recognition of her talent and friends that actually cared. It should be enough.
Suddenly there's a slight lull to the chatter as Quinn walked in, late. The blonde seemed to stop a second as to deliberate a decision. Snippets of familiar emotions flash behind her eyes. In the end she doesn't look anywhere but straight ahead as she sits in the seat next to the diva. She doesn't turn and she doesn't nod. She just does what she needs to do. Rachel feels a sting at the lack of acknowledgement. In all their years they had always existed to each other. The singer notices how the ex-captain seemed to stiffen and clench next to her. Minutes pass. As they wait for Mr Schue to come in, the diva reads her copy of the Patti Lupone biography for the fifth time, trying to stamp down the hurt. The softball player draws a sketch on her notepad; she learns to take extreme attention so that she doesn't end up with an image of the girl sitting next to her. They both only pretend to be there.
Ironically, there's less than thirty centimeters between them but it feels like they're worlds apart. As communication is foregone, there's nothing to do and the space just seems to fill up with everything that they won't say. Rachel finds herself missing the sarcastic comments about her animal sweaters and her somewhat transparent personality. Quinn finds herself wanting to stop the charade, to give up and give in. But like always there's a difference between want and need. Funny thing is that the blonde had lost the ability to differentiate, approximately two weeks ago.
Unconsciously, her attention is drawn to the big arms on the singer's shoulders. Rachel was hunched so that there were actually very little points of contact between her and Finn. No matter what, the girls don't look at each other. The songs that they've sung just seem to echo in their minds, as they are left with their memories. Santana shook her head frustrated by the situation, while Brittany just watched with a sad expression. All they had to do was reach across and get back everything that made them work whether it was love, friendship or even hatred. All they had to do was make the choice to not lose each other…
Suddenly there's a thump as Puck gives Finn a friendly head wrestle. Both girls look up at the sound or at least they meant to. Like always, hazelgreen eyes instinctively snap to warm browns. The intensity is scorching and they both swallow. Quinn and Rachel are suspended by their feelings.
What if I stayed forever?
What if there was no goodbye…
/
Okie. See I promise they're moving forward. This isn't as sad as the other one but yeah Rachel is kind of fully coming to the understanding that even Near Perfect Finn is not what she wants.
As usual, don't hesitate to tell me what you think and if you guys are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel I keep talking about. XD