So here is Chapter 11... I was getting kind of tired with chapters full of angst and nothing else so I am trying to lighten it up a bit... I'm not an angsty person by nature so here you go. I hope you are still liking it and please feel free to leave any comments :) because they make me very happy. ENJOY

Santana's POV

She was bitter… broken even, but doing her damndest to harden her eyes so that Brittany wouldn't be able to see the extent of the pain she was feeling. Even the thoughts running through her head were bitter and while she was standing facing the girl that had, so recently, crushed her heart all she could think was. What is love, really? People search for it and convince themselves that it is what they need in their lives. Why search for it? Most of the time it's not even worth it. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses so that nothing can hurt you… Then one person, no different from any other person, comes along and wanders in to your life…You give them a piece of you even though they didn't ask for it because they did something stupid one day like smile at you or kiss you… and then your life isn't your own anymore. The silence between them was excruciating… she wanted to shake the girl in front of her and ask her what she wanted… ask her why she was the one that kept getting hurt. She just wanted to know why.

Brittany's POV

She was expecting anger or shouting but the girl standing before her was just guarded and shattered, she had never seen her best friend like this and she knew it was her fault. Her best friend's previous words were ringing in her ears I don't know anything, anymore.

She didn't even know where to begin with her apologies or how she could fix what SHE had broken. She was wringing her hands in her lap and was willing herself to look up in to the face of her best friend. When she finally mustered up enough courage to catch the chocolate eyes above her, the heavy feeling in her chest seemed to tighten. The Latina's eyes were empty and cold but she knew better… behind the frosty exterior was a girl in so much pain it was almost uncomfortable to look at.

"I am so sorry about everything Tana… I NEVER meant to hurt you. I thought I knew what I wanted and I acted so selfishly. Please believe me that I will do ANYTHING to make this right. Please…" her voice trailed off and she didn't know what else to say. She had come here with an entire speech prepared and she thought she knew what she wanted to say to her best friend but the girl's demeanor was unnerving, to say the least.

"I don't know that sorry is enough this time Brittany…" her best friend's voice was resigned and she felt herself wince as she heard Santana use her full name… she NEVER did that. What if I can't fix this? What if I really have lost her?

"I know Tana… it's not much, I know, but it's all I have. I don't know what I can do to make you see that I want to make this right… I just want my best friend back, I NEED her back." She held her breath as she willed herself not to cry… she had no right to be hurt or to cry in front of Santana. She saw the look on the girl's face soften ever so slightly and thought she saw the twitch of a hand… almost as if it wanted to reach out to her. A lone tear brimmed over her right eye and she lifted her hand slowly to brush it away, she froze when she felt the Santana's thumb get here first and gently wipe it off her cheek.

"I know you're sorry, Brittany. I just - I need some time… I think it's best if we give each other some space for a while, ok? I can't get hurt again… I don't think I would be able to pick myself up the next time." She swore she heard the brunette's voice break.

"There won't be a next time Tana… I swear. I can't bear to see you hurting and it's even worse this time because I caused it. Please tell me we'll be ok?" Her tears were flowing freely now and she wasn't even trying to hide it.

"I just need some time, B." she breathed a sigh of relief when she heard her friend use the nickname but wasn't reassured because Santana had not told her everything was going to be ok.

She resigned herself to the fact that there was nothing more she could do now until Santana was ready… she stood up slowly and started to walk away. She heard a choked sob leave the other girl's lips and fought the urge she had to envelope Santana in a hug and just try to take some of the pain away. She turned once more at the end of the driveway to watch the other girl unlock the door and enter the silent and dark house. She knew that her friend probably felt more alone than ever but she felt helpless because she couldn't help Santana ease away some of the loneliness.

Santana's POV

Tuesday Morning

She woke up in the morning feeling better than she had done in a while; she had slept soundly and had a dream that everything was right between her and Brittany again. She kept her eyes closed and reveled in her rested state, but as she shifted in her bed to stretch out her limbs she froze, she became aware that there was a body tightly molded to her left side with an arm slung across her waist. She knew exactly who it was as the familiar smell invaded her senses, she wondered how she had slept through her best friend crawling in to her bed in the dead of night. Despite everything she said yesterday she really didn't want space from the girl… she just felt that, for her own sanity, it was the right thing to do.

With the sleeping blonde next to her it felt, for a fleeting moment, as if everything was back to normal and that neither of them had hurt the other. It's funny how things can be going so well for so long and then within the space of a few days come crashing down around you. She shook herself slightly refusing to dwell on it much longer for fear of the sadness returning. She felt the blonde shift against her side and let out a whimper so desperate that it made her heart ache and she subconsciously pulled the girl closer, her breath catching as she felt Brittany twist her fingers in to the front of her shirt. She had been a fool to think she could stay away from this girl… when they were apart what she was doing wasn't living… it was merely existing.

She felt the girl stir again and knew the blonde was waking up because her breathing was no longer deep and even. She looked down at her best friend and waited for the baby blues to meet her brown. Brittany finally looked up at her with heavy eyes and then shock flew across the perfect face. She checked the clock and was glad to see they didn't have to get up for school for at least another hour… that gave them time to talk. Somewhere in her peaceful slumber she had found it within herself to forgive the girl…

"Oh my god… I am so sorry. I know you told me to stay away, Tana, I just really needed to see you. I set my alarm so I could sneak back out but it must not have gone off. I just needed to be near you." She could hear her friend's voice rising up in panic and she almost laughed at how quickly the other girl and worked herself up in to a frenzy.

"Shh it's ok, B. I'm not mad. I'm – uh – I'm glad you're here. I was stupid to think either of us could last staying away from each other." She watched as confusion swept across the blondes face followed by relief. "I am, before anything else, your best friend and I will ALWAYS be here for you." She whispered as she brushed a strand of hair off Britt's face.

"I'm sorry, Tana. For everything…" she cut the blonde off because there had been enough apologies this week to last her a lifetime.

"Stop apologizing, B. What's done is done. I really don't want to talk about it anymore, ok?"

"Ok… But I am really sorry."

"I know, Britt." They fell in to a semi-comfortable silence and she smiled to herself as she realised things were actually going to be ok. It may not be her ideal scenario but it was better than fighting. Her attention was brought back to the girl lying next to her as she felt the blonde nuzzle in to her neck brushing over her pulse point, pressing her body closer and hugging her waist tighter.

"Mmm, how is it that you still smell so amazing even after you have just woken up, Tana." Her breath caught in her throat. No, no, no! This is not going to happen again.

"Britt, don't. We need to set some new boundaries." She kept her voice calm not wanting to upset the girl.

"Why? I hate boundaries. I already told you this was my favourite place. And we always cuddle."

"I know, B. But, considering everything that has happened in the last week, I think we should." She felt the blonde sigh but reassured her with a tight squeeze. "I just don't think I can stand having you this close, saying these things to me. Ok?"

"Fine! Can we still hold pinkies?" she smiled down at the girl and almost laughed at the unfamiliar shyness in her voice.

"Of course! That's our thing, B."

"Ok… then I guess this boundaries thing isn't the worst idea in the world."

When the alarm finally went off the girls reluctantly dragged themselves out of bed. They moved in sync as they set about their own morning routines… they had done this so many times before and it was almost as if nothing had changed.

As she walked in to school with her pinky tightly locked with Brittany's she was surprised to find Quinn waiting at her locker. She watched the other blonde raise her eyebrows as her eyes roamed over her and Brittany's hands locked together.

"So I – um – I guess you guys worked things out." The tone of the shorter blonde's voice was unreadable and she felt herself shift uncomfortably under the other girl's scrutiny. Britt didn't seem to notice and replied enthusiastically.

"Yeh, we talked through some stuff and things are a little better now." She couldn't help but smile as she looked up in to Brittany's beaming face.

"Yeh, I guess things are a little better." She saw Quinn's eyebrow lift even further up her forehead and she cleared her throat and dropped her eyes. Brittany dropped her pinky and gave both girls a kiss on the cheek before bouncing off to first period, leaving her and Quinn alone. She was dreading first period as she had a free with Quinn and knew that there were plenty more questions coming her way.

"I don't understand you, S. What happened to everything you told me the other day? I am not saying that you should stay mad at her forever but you can't seriously have already forgiven her?" she knew she owed her friend an explanation but she didn't know where to start… so she just told her the simple truth.

"I haven't forgiven her, Quinn. But staying mad at her and trying to stay away from her is exhausting. I love her and I need to be around her." In her head it sounded like a good explanation but when she caught the look of confusion on the other girl's face she knew she mustn't have said it right.

"But, S… I saw how broken you were the other day… it broke my heart. I love Brittany, I do, but I don't want to see her hurt you like that again…" she stopped to turn and face the girl and waited for the hazel eyes to meet hers before replying.

"Look, I know that she did a bad thing… but that doesn't mean she is a bad person. When I saw how cut up she was about what she had done I knew I had to forgive her. No matter what she has done to me, I refuse to be the cause of any sort of pain that girl feels." She looked up and saw that her friend still wasn't convinced so she took a deep breath and carried on. "Look I know you are trying to help me, Q, and that you are just looking out for me… I love you for that but, ultimately I decide what I should or shouldn't do."

"Just please promise me you'll be careful, S."

"I promise. Everyone makes mistakes, Quinn… you know that as well as I do."

Tuesday Evening

After the incident with Quinn that morning the day had passed by in a haze and Brittany had spent almost the whole day practically attached to her hip. After cheerios practice Britt had said she needed to go home first and would be around later. She had smiled at this because it was just like how it used to be… the blonde seemed to always just invite herself around.

She arrived home and immediately drew herself a nice bubble bath to soothe her aches and pains after practice. She dimmed the lights and put on her Adele album and then lowered herself in to the scorching water letting it relieve the tightness of her muscles. She was so relaxed that she hadn't even heard Brittany enter the house let alone the bathroom. She almost drowned when she heard the blonde speak from within the room.

"How much longer you gonna be, Tana? I want to watch Mulan."

"Shit, B. You scared me! How long have you been sitting there?" her heart was still thundering in her chest and threatened to burst right out of her chest at the blonde's next words.

"A while… I was just watching you. You looked so peaceful so I didn't want to bug you." God she loved the sweet smile that played across Brittany's lips as she said this. But they had set boundaries for a reason and she needed to make sure the blonde understood this.

"Britt, we have boundaries. You are definitely crossing one of them right now." She made sure that her tone of voice had an edge of warning to it so that her best friend would know she was serious.

"But… I'm not touching you, Tana." She saw the look of confusion on the other girl's face and she knew she had to be clearer.

"I know… but watching is pretty much the same thing. Friends don't do this, B."

"But I always used to sit here while you were in the bath." A small pout formed on the blonde's lips and she forced herself to look away so she wouldn't give in.

"Things are different now though." She kept her head down because she knew the look of dejection on her friends face would change her mind. "I'll be out in 2 minutes… why don't you go put in Mulan and we can have a cuddle." This seemed to bring the blonde out of her sulk and she smiled as the girl jumped up and ran out of the room.

By the time she had dried off and put on her pajamas Brittany had already arranged the bed so that they could cuddle and watch at the same time. She made her way over to the bed and lay down only to have her best friend immediately mold in to her side throwing an arm haplessly over her midriff. She took a deep breath and pulled the blonde closer to her inhaling her scent at the same time. Just the smell alone was enough to send a little tingle down to her centre. Luckily once the movie started her attention was no longer on the subtle throb between her legs… that was until Brittany, once again, twisted her fingers in to the front of Santana's shirt. She had never noticed it before but every time they hugged or were cuddling in bed Brittany would wrap her fingers in whatever shirt Santana was wearing that day.

"B?"

"Mmhm?"

"Why do you do that?" her voice came out barely louder than a whisper.

"Why do I do what?"

"Wrap your fingers in my shirt like that?"

"Oh… I guess so that, unless I let go, you can't disappear." Her best friend's tone of voice made it sound like it was the most normal thing in the world. She swore she just felt herself fall a little more in love with Brittany.

Once the movie ended she realized just how tired she had been and thankful that Britt seemed to be just as exhausted they turned out the light and got in to bed. They always slept tangled up in each other and tonight was no different. Brittany was pressed tightly against her back with an arm around her waist and she had moved her hand down to entwine her fingers with the blondes that lay on her stomach.

"Night, B." she stifled a yawn

"Night, Tana. I love you."

"Me too B."

She listened to the sound of Britt's breathing even out and felt her eyes flutter closed. She didn't know whether it was reality or a dream but she swore she heard Brittany whisper one last thing in to the darkness.

"I wish I was strong enough to deserve you."

A/N: Let me know if you have any suggestions or if there is something that you think I should put in.