(in which the party increases fourfold.)
"So, we will be fighting Seraph Nine, a stupidly buffed Cirno capable of halting Fantasy Heaven, dealing at least one half of our HP bar as damage for one hit, and capable of freezing anything." Brad summed up. "...We're fucked."
"And you know what happens when we're fucked. On three... one... two..." T-Man started.
"GOD DAMMIT YUKARI!" The party shouted in unison.
...Silence.
"My, my... Is that a summoning chant for me? How rude~..." A girl wearing a purple dress walks out from a tearing in space, prompt with a parasol. "Atleast could you change it to-"
"No." The party said in sync.
"...Joking aside, I do have a countermeasure." Yukari flipped off her fan. "Do you all know of the existence of Gensokyo's Reality Globe?"
The crowd went silent.
"...Reality Globe?" Reimu asked.
Yukari nodded. "An item, alongside the power of Hakurei, needed to sustain the Great Hakurei Barrier. I afraid it has gone missing, however."
Brad made an 'o' face. "Ooh. Wait, how is it missing from your perspective?"
Yukari looked to the side. "Very carelessly."
T-Man frowned. "And where can we get this... 'Reality Globe'?"
Yukari shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Only Kiyoko Hakurei knows of its whereabouts."
Reimu glared back. "Do not remind me of her." She summoned the six signature yin-yang orbs of Fantasy Heaven.
Yukari flopped her fan back on. "Fufufu... I suppose I should say 'nobody knows of its whereabouts' then. Will-kun!"
*-*FREAKIN FOURTH WALL:REWINDING*-*
T-Man frowned. "And where can we get this... 'Reality Globe'?"
Yukari shrugged. "Not even I know of its whereabouts."
Reimu stood, forgetting her jaw on the floor. "WHAT!?"
The medic looked over, sipping tea. "...ok."
Yukari flopped over her fan. "My time here is up. Toodaloo..." She performed a double backflip into the gap, which promptly catches her.
"Wow, that worked?" Brad looked at the empty space.
"Wait, you mean you doubt that'll work?" Painter asked.
Reimu shrugged. "Well, you see, she's not the kind to tell something without complicating her words in the process. It's my first time seeing her like that."
T-Man looked up. "How many people should we gather to go beat up Seraph Nine, anyways?"
"All of them." Brad said. "Also, we should go see if anywhere's been affected by her throwing everything to shit."
Chapter 1-2
Oriental Liberation:Scarlet
"Wait a second, that reminds me..." The vampire, quiet during the entire thing, raised a hand. "My mansion is being attacked right now!"
The maid vanished and reappeared in another place. "There seem to be ice golems and other weapons assaulting major locations in Gensokyo, too."
Reimu slammed the kotatsu. "That's it. We're going now."
*-*Oriental Liberation: Scarlet*-*
In front of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, many figures emerge.
Reimu Hakurei, the Shrine Maiden of Paradise.
Sakuya Izayoi, the Perfect and Elegant Maid.
T-Man, the T-Posing Former Terrorist.
M. S. Painter, the Artistic Outsider.
Irma Grese, the Satanic Loli Barkeeper.
Suika Ibuki, the Oni of Pandemonium.
Brad, the Holder of Too Many Titles, and Professor Plant Hanger.
In front of them is a bounded field, the mansion inside discolored to a monotone. Thousands of emotionless icy figures guard around the barrier, many weapons in hand.
"CHARGE!" Brad shouted, summoning Flammenbügel, Typhoon Carrier, and a sharp-edged plant hanger.
"Lovebound Heart! Quadruple Spark!" Marisa shouted, spraying gigantotechnicolorized lasers everywhere.
"Get outta my way!" Painter shouted, spraying paint all over the field.
Whack! He hit one icy swordsman.
Krr~. Suddenly, ten ice cannons emerge from the barrier.
"Private Square!" Sakuya declared, creating two bounded fields around the party.
Wham! Reimu's gohei smacked an ice mage into the Square, freezing it in time.
Marisa's gigantotechnicolorized lasers still pass through the timefreezing square like it's not even there, obliterating any ice figures in its path.
"Hmm, this is unhelpful." T-Man waved away the Square into a T-cut and walked through, the barrier reforming shortly after. "Now, let's do this.
Zzzz... Both spell cards fade out.
"Flame Tornado!" Brad held up both hangers.
The flaming vortex engulfs the entire ice army, causing them to vanish.
KROOM! KROOM! An ice titan emerged from the barrier, looking down on the flame tornado.
THOOM! It punches the tornado, causing it to disperse.
"Oh ho ho..." Brad looked at the titan.
Ice Titan - 1200 ATK 5000 DEF 10000 HP
Guardian of the Scarlet Branch.
THOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOOM! The robot rumbled its arms at the party.
Another hanger flew out of the sack, guardin against all of the attacks. This one looks glassy.
Brad pockets the glassy hanger. "Flight!"
*T-Man and Brad is enabled flight!
"T-Power!" T-Man said, as the ice titan's left punch go straight for him.
*T-Man used T-Power!
*Ice Titan attacks!
*Ice Titan took 120 Damage!
The T-shaped magic circle cut apart the icy fist, rendering it useless immediately.
"Talk about a weak spot." Brad looked at the titan's left fist.
"Final Spark!" Marisa sent out a megagigantotechnicolorized laser, but it passed through the robot causing nothing. After all, it IS ice.
Drip. It does melt, though.
Painter looked at the wide crack inside the somehow still usable left fist. "Hah!" He sprayed paint into it.
Brad noticed, and decided to add his own twist into it. "Flame Salvo!"
Flammenbügel blows forth a big swirl of flame.
The giant decided the bitchslap the flames with its right hand.
BOOM! The paint inside the hand exploded, rendering the bitchslapping useless, and the flames directly confronting the titan.
*Ice Titan took 600 Damage!"Hrreaaa~ghhh..." The titan gripped its arm, then started accumulating power in its right hand. "Kaaaaa..."
*Ice Titan gathers energy!"..!" Brad started approaching in the opposite direction.
"Chaos Root!" Irma Grese swung her scissors in a downward motion.
*Irma used Chaos Root!
*Several binding tree roots appear underneath Ice Titan's feet!
"We should prepare a defensive countermeasure." Painter suggested.
"Ah, no worries." Brad shrugged it off, then switched Typhoon Carrier and the sharp-edged hanger with the glassy hanger.
"Maid Secret Skill! Marionette!" Sakuya summoned a thousand knives in random directions, most of which hit the titan because of its gigantic hitbox.
*Ice Titan took 845 Damage!
"Haaaaaa..." The power in its hand become larger and more destructive.
"Fall back!" T-Man warned. "My T-power can't deflect this attack!"
Brad facepalmed. "C'mere, son."
"No."
Painter looked at the burst of power, then turned his valve to max.
The burst of paint only adds to the power in the hand, now ready to fire.
Everyone suddenly crowded together, ready to avoid the assault or atleast guard against it.
"†-Power!" "Mirror Plane!"
*Brad used Mirror Plane!
*A sheet of near unbreakable mirror appeared!
*T-Man used †-Power!
*The mirror changed shape!
Suddenly, the mirror changed its shape into a pyramid, with its top pointed at the Ice Titan.
"HAAAAAAAA!"
*Ice Titan used KaXXhaXXha!
vrrr~. The sound is so loud, the fourth wall gave multiple earrape warnings.
A giant blast of magic the size of the titan itself blasted towards the pyramid mirror.
"AAAAAAAAAA" The party quickly covered their ears.
The pyramid quickly shrinks, but it can still hold against the attack.
The blast hitting the pyramid branched into a cross shape, blasting off to somewhere.
*Great Hakurei Barrier took 99999 Damage!
*Unfortunate Background Mook took 99999 Damage!
*UBM is instagibbed!
Finally, the KaXXhaXXha died.
Suika took a swig. "Tha's ih, ima takh'le this big guy." She suddenly appeared to be as high as the titan.
THATHATHATHOOM! The two titans clash, sending shards of ice flying off.
However, the ice titan is still bound by the Chaos Root, causing it to be unable to fight with its full strength.
THOOM! Suika's punch sent it falling to the ground.
*Ice Titan took a total of 9000 Damage from the barrage!
*Ice Titan entered Panic Mode!
*It's HP rises to 500!
"Tch..." Reimu looked at it worryingly. "Panic Mode!"
"No worries!" Brad chucked a metallic hanger with a NERF gun attached to it on one side, and two black-and-white hangers on the other.
BOOM! *Ice Titan is destroyed!
The border around the Scarlet Devil Mansion finally fade, revealing the mansion doors in ruin.
"We should do this, fast!" Remilia flew into the mansion.
She didn't even do anything against the ice golems.
*-*Chapter End.*-*
M. S. Painter, the Artistic Outsider.
LV 13 ATK 140 DEF 30 HP 500 MP 50
No elemental affinities.
EQUIPS:
• Good Paint Brush: A brush that is filled with paint of random colors. With the Output Controller, able to manipulate the flow of paint. 30 ATK.
• Ordinary Uniform: A normal outfit familiar in the Outside World. Non-elemental. 0 DEF.
ITEMS:
• Backpack: Takes no inventory space, because it's the inventory space. 10 Storage. (2/10 Storage)
• Spiky Ball: It hurts. 7 DMG. Ignores DEF.
• Giant Brush: A brush that probably isn't used for painting. ? ATK.
MAGIC:
None.
MISC.:
None.
PARTY:
I will probably never list this.
Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, Remilia, Irma, Brad, T-Man, Suika, Painter.
Parodyist's Note:I need a party sheet asap.I realized, if I do the thing entirely, the chapters will be roughly equal to 3k-4k words. So I don't.The 1k-2k wordrange is good for me.The Parodyist shall now sleep after continuous stress over the party sheet, including Reimu's 69 Spell Cards.