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Chapter 11

They each had a beer, staring off into the night, thinking about the re-run of the day just played out. There was a team out the front, the odd agent walking around the bottom gate of the garden. But they were alone.

"He said the pictures would be sent to you," he wasn't looking a Peter, but Peter looked at him, "said it would be something for you to remember me by. I thought he was going to kill me, right there... and I'd get found like..." He looked down at his bottle, slightly shaking in his hand.

"Damn. I can't imagine how you felt, I can't. You didn't deserve it," he saw Neal nod, but knew this was the time to ask the thing that had been at the back of his mind all day, "I'm gonna ask you this once, only once, and you have to give me the truth. You have to Neal. When, when these photos were taken... did they, did anything else happen? I mean... were you...?"

"No."

Peter just looked at him. It wasn't that he didn't believe him, he just knew he would lie if it was true. "Stop looking at me like that. I'm telling the truth, I promise." He didn't need to look at Peter to know what he was thinking.

"I believe you. Just as long as you continue to tell me the truth." They looked at each other, trying to figure out what the other was thinking, Neal breaking the stare first.

oOo

He and El were lying in bed, he knew he wouldn't be sleeping, Neal's words circling in his head. The circle was continuous, until it landed on the parting exchange, Peter could tell El. He wasn't sure if he wanted to. He knew it would be hard to keep it from her – that being Neal's main reasoning – but he knew it meant saying it out loud, her having to hear it, live with it, but mostly it meant she would be withholding from the FBI. So he knew he couldn't.

He looked back at the clock, 4am. He got up, quietly padding down to the kitchen. The light was still on, to make it easier for the team out side to keep watch. He didn't know why he was up. But he knew why he couldn't sleep, those six images – coupled with what he had been told – burning through his brain. He had put them – and the letter – in his bedroom safe. Part of him wanted to burn them, but the Agent part knew he couldn't.

Going back up, he looked in to his friend's room. He expected Neal to be asleep, but he was sitting on the bed, legs over the side, back to the door showing the criss-cross of healing wounds. Peter wanted to go in, wanted to ask if he was ok. But something stopped him. He turned and went back to bed.

oOo

Peter slept in. He doesn't really know how, the lack of sleep from the last two weeks catching up to him. The sun was shining and El had already left for work by the time he got down stairs. The place was empty, he looked out to see Neal sitting where he was last night. He made himself coffee and joined him.

"I would say 'boo', but I'm not that mean." He sat in the same chair as last night, as Neal smirked and turned to face him.

"Now, I don't believe that. You're up late, you missed El."

"I know, that's what two weeks of no sleep does to you." They both sat in silence, listening to the birds, sipping their coffee. The sun was strong for this time in the morning.

"You didn't tell her." It wasn't really a question, it was clear Neal knew the answer.

"No. I thought about it, but I couldn't. Best to keep it between us."

"I never asked... what does it mean for you to keep it from the FBI?"

"Well, they'll never know. But if I – we – have to go on the stand, we have to say nothing else happened. If they find out we did that, jail, possibly." He didn't want Neal to know this but knew he should. He looked over at him, he was staring, eye more blue than black now.

"I can't let you do that."

"Tough, I am."

"Peter..."

"No arguments. I have to."

"You don't." They just sat there, staring out to the garden, as another agent walked past, nodding as he went. "I see you've increased security. New developments in the case?"

He didn't want Neal to know the envelope was hand delivered, that those people knew where they were, where El and Peter lived. "No, no leads, just vigilance. Listen Neal, I talked to Hughes yesterday and I've been cleared to go back to work. I'm leaving in a couple of hours to get things in order. That's why there's extra agents."

He felt Neal stare at him, but he just sipped his coffee. He had done a lot of thinking, he knew he had to make this right.

"You can't. You can't look for them, not after everything, not after everything that happened."

"I can. I have to, to put an end to this."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" The stern anger coming from his friend's mouth made Peter snap his head to face him. He looked mad, he looked scared.

"It means I have to get them for what they did. To you, El, putting us in this position. I have to do it. For us, for you. So we can sleep without having five agents minimum outside the house. I need to know that when you are well enough to go home you will be safe, you'll feel safe. I need to be a part of it."

"I get it. But, please, don't just do it for my sake. Don't push yourself too much. Don't do anything you'll regret." Looking at Peter, Neal knew he was going to do what ever it took to bring them down, and he wouldn't regret any of it.