Songs for this chapter: Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk and Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
Warning: (most of) the dialogue between Severus and Voldy is taken directly from the book, I don't own it, J K Rowling is a much better writer than I.
If May first was the best day of my life, then May second was the worst day of my life. It had dawned as a normal day, just like any other, but that hadn't lasted. At some point in the afternoon, Severus had been accosted in his office by the Carrows informing him that Harry Potter had been spotted in Hogsmeade, and then things had rapidly spiraled out of control. I got one glance of his worried face when he told me to ward my door and to stay hidden away no matter what happened, and then he was gone.
He didn't explain why I needed to ward my door, but I knew something drastic must be about to happen. There had been death eaters on campus for the entire year, and he hadn't worried about whether or not my door was warded. So something worse than death eaters must be coming. My blood ran cold when I realized that must mean that He Who Must Not Be Named was coming.
It wasn't long after that thought popped into my head that I heard the announcement ringing out through the castle for all of the students to gather in the great hall. I hurried over to my window, and watch the students who had been in outdoor lessons march into the castle in their block formations. I hated seeing them move like that, but acting like automatons was the only thing that seemed to keep the Carrows off their backs, and sometimes that didn't even work.
When all of the students had disappeared from the grounds once more I remembered that I was supposed to have warded my door, and hurried to do that. I put several different wards in place, all keyed to allow Severus through if he came to find me, but to keep everyone else out. When they were in place I looked around my little living room and wondered vaguely what I should do with myself. Something about hiding away in my ivory tower while mayhem threatened to break out in the castle below me felt wrong. And yet disobeying an order from Severus felt wrong as well.
I changed into my familiar black pants, and a sweatshirt with the London Eye on it that I had sneakily removed from Severus's wardrobe and kept for myself. I decided to put on my running shoes in case I needed o make a quick escape, and then I started pacing around my living room.
The beginning of the end of the world, surprisingly came with an announcement. I was pacing to and fro in my living room, wondering what was going on below me, and suddenly my head was filled with the voice of pure evil. My skin crawled with thoughts of him, and my heart beat faster as his words sunk in. Harry Potter was here, and with him had come the end. This was going to be it, the battle to end all battles, and it would be fought at the castle. Did Severus expect me to stay here in the tower and just wait it out?
I stopped at the window and tried to think through what I should do, and I was shocked to see that Severus was fleeing. He was literally flying across the grounds! My shock at discovering that he could apparently fly without a broom was overridden with the need to know why he was running. What had happened down there?
I tracked him across the grounds, and watched as he disappeared down beneath the whomping willow. I wouldn't have even known there was a tunnel there if he hadn't told me the bare essentials of what had happened on the night that he both gained and lost and Order of Merlin. So what was he doing in the tunnel? Was he going to hide in the shrieking shack? What was he hiding from? Or who…
He would be angry at me for even considering it, but I couldn't in good conscience leave him to face whatever it was that would make him hide on his own. I tucked my wand up the sleeve of my stolen sweatshirt, and completely disregarded the wards I had just erected and barreled my way out of the wardrobe in the headmaster's bedroom. I quickly scanned my surroundings to be sure that I was alone, and then I hurried over to his cedar chest that I knew was full of his emergency potion ingredients.
I couldn't be sure what would be needed, or even if anything was needed, but I began rummaging through his supplies anyway. I plucked out a bezoar, and then I began sorting through his readymade potions. I grabbed a vial of blood replenisher and a wound cleaning potion, and stuck them in the kangaroo pocket of the sweatshirt along with the bezoar. Just to be safe I grabbed some burn healing paste as well. I began running through all of the healing spells I knew in my head as I snuck over to the bedroom door and peaked into the office to see if there was anyone there.
The office was empty, so I slipped out of the bedroom and then I paused. I cast a silencing charm first on myself, and then placed a duplicate on my pocket to silence the vials in case they clinked against each other. Then I cast a disillusionment charm and disappeared from my own view. There would be an added danger of discovery when I was passing through doorways, but otherwise it would help me to make my way to the tunnel under the whomping willow without being discovered.
I snuck swiftly down the golden stairwell that led up to the headmaster's office, and I held my breath, refusing to move a muscle as the stone wall slid open. I was praying that no one would notice what was happening. When faced with the reality of what was taking place in the castle, I realized that the opening or closing of a door was going to be of little consequence to those involved.
All-out war was being waged at Hogwarts, and no one seemed to care what I was doing. That was a blessing, but trying to make my way to Severus without getting myself killed was going to be a challenge. I slid out into the hallway, and dodged to the side to avoid some spell that I couldn't identify that shot down the hall.
The air was clouded with dust, and the failing sunlight from outside was filtering in from places where the stone wall had been blown away. I tried not to look at the floor as I hurried toward the entrance hall, but it was impossible not to notice the bodies of those who had already fallen. My ears were ringing with the sound of people screaming, and shouting, and hexing, and crying. My stomach turned with the smell of scorched flesh, and spilled blood but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.
I encountered my first real obstacle when I skidded into the entrance hall where battle was being waged, and saw that the heavy front doors were closed. There was no way I was going to get those doors open without drawing attention to myself. I crept toward the door, wracking my brain for a plan on how to get those doors open.
Luck was with me, and when I got within about fifteen feet of the door, someone missed their mark with a blasting hex, and one of the doors was knocked off its hinges. The disintegrating wood was shot in the air raining down on all of us, and if anyone had been paying attention they might have noticed that there was a void where the pieces of wood seemed to stop moving. No curses were thrown my way as I ran through the now open door so I counted my blessings and chose not to worry about the wound that had just been inflicted on my forehead by one of the chunks of wood.
I brushed lingering bits of wood and pulp off of me as I crossed the grounds to keep anyone from noticing a piece of wood seeming to move on its own accord across the grounds. The battle was far worse on the grounds, apparently only the luck few of the death eaters had actually made their way into the castle. Curses were flying every which way, and there were actual giants roaring about the grounds wrecking havoc.
My heart was slamming in my chest as I ran flat out toward the whomping willow. The tree itself seemed to have some sort of loyalty to the school as it swung violently at the death eaters if they got too close. It almost made me smile, but then I realized I was going to have to try and sneak past that tree, and it was unlikely that my disillusionment charm was going to protect me there.
I scampered out of the way of a curse, and stumbled over a still masked death eater who was not moving from the spot he had be unceremoniously sprawled upon the ground. I clutched my wand tightly in my hand prepared to defend myself against foe or tree as I drew closer to the whomping willow. Still no one seemed to have noticed me in anyway, so no spell came my way as I stepped into the range of the tree.
Invisible or not, the tree seemed to know I was there and a branch immediately began to swing in my direction. Other than the moment in Knockturn Alley when I thought I might actually lose to Greyback, I had never been more grateful for the training I had received at SIS. I picked up my speed, and trusted my body and threw myself backward as the branch came close to me. I flipped backward over the branch with one hand holding my pocket and its contents close to my body, barely managing to get my feet under me in time. I landed in a crouch and immediately propelled myself forward, half crawling across the ground, advancing toward the opening at the base of the tree but keeping my sense alert for the next attack.
This time the branch came smashing down from above, and I almost didn't roll out of the way in time. The ground shook with the force of impact, and the branch was shooting back up into the air, preparing for the next blow. I scuttled backward quickly, and when the branch began to swing back down in my direction again I dove head first into the tunnel, turning it into a roll at the last minute and landing in a crouch in the sudden darkness.
The only sound in the tunnel was my slightly haggard breathing, so I knew that Severus must have advanced on to the shrieking shack. I didn't know however if he was alone, so I focused on calming my breathing as I began to creep down the dark tunnel. Within a few feet I was moving silently again, and eventually my eyes began to adjust to the darkness. I encountered no one else as I advanced to the end of the tunnel and found that the door leading into the shack was open.
I hoisted myself silently into the house, watching avidly for any sign of movement in the dimly lit room. There was not even a sign of Severus, and I wondered vaguely if he was upstairs as I stood up inside the room and took my surroundings in fully. I cast a spell to disrupt the dust on the floor, swirling it about haphazardly as I hurried over to stand sentinel against the wall. Within seconds it had settled once more, hiding any trace of my footsteps.
Almost immediately there was a stirring upstairs, and I knew that Severus must be up there. He was here, and he had felt the presence of my magic. He came swiftly down the stairs in a half crouch, moving like a cat, with his wand at the ready. He paused at the base of the stairs when he appeared to be alone, but then his eyes began sweeping the room with more focus. I wondered if he could smell me, or if his magical senses were simply that strong and he could sense my presence.
It quickly became a moot point, as a cracking rent the air, and He Who Must Not Be Named appeared in the room with us. I swallowed a startled scream, and my eyes locked on the snake he had brought with him suspended in a shield. What was he doing with that snake? I raised my wand, ready to strike, and that was when Severus's eyes flitted over to my position against the wall. I could tell from the slight widening of his eyes, that disillusioned or not he knew I was there even if he didn't know for sure who it was. He must have sense that whoever it was, they were on his side, because he gave me a very subtle shake of the head. I did not lower my wand, but resigned to staying out of whatever was about to happen unless I had no other choice.
"Severus why have I been forced to seek you out?" He Who Must Not Be Named asked in a high pitched voice that sent goose bumps over my skin. "Why were you not awaiting me in the castle as I requested?"
"The castle staff launched an attack on me tonight with the intent to kill me," Severus said in a calm voice that did not betray any emotion, though it painted a horrible picture in my mind's eye. "I knew you wished to speak to me about the appearance of Harry Potter tonight, I endeavored to be alive for such a conversation."
"Very good," he answered noncommittally. "Why did you not use your control as headmaster to keep the others from erecting wards to keep my men out?"
"I had to flee too quickly…" Severus offered, his voice sounding less sure. ".., my Lord, their resistance is crumbing…"
"And it is doing so without your help," he snapped, his voice rising slightly in pitch. "Skilled wizard though you are, Severus, I do not think you will make much difference now. We are almost there… almost."
My heart took of at a sprint in my chest, and my wand arm trembled with the urge to curse this evil beast that was threatening the man that I loved. Again a subtle shake of the head told me that Severus had seen the movement of my arm, and he was beginning me not to move in the only way he could, though his attention seemed to be focused on his master.
"Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter." Severus suggested, and I sensed a twinge of panic in him. "I know I can find him, my Lord. Please."
Severus moved further from the stairs, bringing himself fully into the room, just past the opening I had snuck in through. I wished I could reach out to him and protect him somehow, but I held my ground at the wall.
"I have a problem, Severus," he said in a soft voice, that was deceptively calm.
"My Lord?" Severus questioned, his voice betraying his concern, though I was certain his master would read it incorrectly.
"Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?" he asked, holding up a wand that looked suspiciously like Dumbledore's old wand from where I was standing.
Why was he asking Severus? His expertise was potions not wand lore.
"My… my Lord?" Severus questioned blankly. "I do not understand. You have performed extraordinary magic with that wand."
"No," he answered sternly "I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary, but this wand… no. It had not reveal the wonder it has promised. I feel no difference between this wand, and the one I procured from Ollivander all those years ago."
Severus continued to watch his master impassively, and I watch him closely trying to understand how he was supposed to answer such a question. What was it about this wand that was so special, and how was Severus supposed to know anything about it?
"No difference," He Who Must Not Be Named continued rather petulantly.
Severus held his tongue still, and the evil git began to pace about the room. He looked even scarier when his face caught a bit of light and I saw how manic he looked. Something terrible was about to happen, I could feel it.
"I have thought long and hard, Severus… do you know why I have called you back from battle?"
"No, my Lord, but I beg you will let me return." Severus answered, his attention now focused entirely on the snake that was coiling beneath the shield that I suspected was to protect the snake from attack not the other way around. "Let me find Potter."
"You sound like Lucius. Neither of you understands Potter as I do. He does not need finding. Potter will come to me. I knew his weakness you see, his one great flaw. He will hate watching others struck down around him, knowing that it is for him that it happens. He will want to stop it at any cost. He will come."
My stomach turned over when I realized that he was speaking the truth. That truth meant there was no other excuse for Severus to leave this shack, and I knew in my gut he needed to leave. I tightened my grip on my wand, preparing to strike, but then Severus began to speak again.
"But my Lord, he might be killed accidentally by someone other than yourself."
"My instructions to the death eaters have been perfectly clear. Capture Potter. Kill his friends, the more the better, but do not kill him." He Who Must Not Be Named said arrogantly. "But it is of you that I wished to speak, Severs, not Harry Potter. You have been very valuable to me. Very valuable."
Somehow his compliment was more menacing than anything else he had said tonight.
"My Lord knows I seek only to serve him. But let me go and find the boy, my Lord." Severus said, his voice growing a bit desperate, and I knew then that he knew his death was coming as swiftly as I did. "Let me bring him to you. I know I can."
"I have told you, no!" he shouted, and the air seemed to drain out of the room as his magic spiked and then receded. "My concern at the moment, Severus, is what will happen when I finally meet the boy!"
"My Lord, there can be no question, surely?" Severus said, his voice softer.
"But there is a question, Severus. There is." He said in a dangerous voice, and he stopped his pacing. "Why did both the wands I have used fail when directed at Harry Potter?'
"I cannot answer that, my Lord," Severus said, and even I knew he was lying, my heart leapt into my throat knowing that the danger had just risen.
"Can't you?" he questioned icily, his red eyes glowing with malice. "My wand of yew did everything of which I asked it, Severus, except kill Harry Potter. Twice it failed. Ollivander told me under torture of the twin cores, told me to take another's wand. I did so, but Lucius's wand shattered upon meeting Potter's."
"I have no explanation, my Lord." Severus answered, and it seemed at least on that count he was telling the truth, but still I did not breathe a sigh of relief, because the snake had his full attention and thus mine.
"I sought a third wand, Severus, the Elder wand, the Wand of Destiny the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore."
Severus's gaze snapped up to meet those red eyes and he looked as if he were staring into the face of death. I felt as if I were in the presence of it myself. The elder wand? I thought that was a legend. Surely Dmbeldore hadn't owned it all this time? And now it was in the hands of pure evil, and that evil man had some ax to grind with Severus. My knees shook with my fear.
"My Lord let me go to the boy," Severus breathed, and I could sense that his mouth had gone dry with his fear.
"All this long night when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," he whispered, his red eyes locked on his servant. "Wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner… and I think I have the answer."
Severus did not speak, and my mind reach the conclusion of what he had likely been lying about earlier. My heart seemed to stop beating entirely as it dawned on me who must be the rightful owner of the wand.
"Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen." He pressed.
"My Lord," Severus protested weakly.
"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine."
"My Lord!" Severus protested again, drawing his wand to defend himself.
"It cannot be any other way," he answered as if he were talking of the weather. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."
It happened far too quickly after that. He Who Must Not Be Named slashed his wand through the air, releasing the snake, and ordering it to kill. And then a horrible scream tore at my heart and I saw that snakes fangs pierce his neck. There was blood pouring from the wound, and he reached for it, trying to stop the flow as he sunk to the ground. Somehow I managed to remain quiet as the evil wizard said some epitaph and took his shielded snake with him and left Severus to die in the dirty shack.
I started to go to Severus, but his eyes widened as none other than Harry Potter burst into the room, blocking my path the shaking, bleeding man on the floor. Severus was rasping and staring at Harry with what looked like a mix of terror and relief in his eyes.
"Take… it… Take… it…" he begged Harry, and it was only then I noticed the shimmering tears leaking down his cheeks.
I was so lost, as suddenly the Granger girl was there was well handing Harry a vial, and he collected what I suspected were memories. They just stood there, watching him bleed out, doing nothing to help him, and I was paralyzed by their presence.
"Look… at… me…" he whispered, and my eyes sought his, but he was staring weakly into the eyes of Harry Potter.
I watched in horror as the light seemed to drain out of his eyes, and then suddenly my head was filled with the voice of his murderer once more. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, I couldn't feel. My world was reduced to those dark eyes that held no life as some sort of fight between the trio went down. I wasn't sure when the Weasley boy had appeared. I didn't care. I wanted them all to leave, and then suddenly they had.
I dropped to my knees at his side, dropping all of the spells that hid me, and pulling my supplies from my pocket with shaking hands.
"Please don't be dead," I begged through my tears as I forced his jaw open and put the bezoar in his mouth.
My hands were soon drenched in his blood as I tried to force him to swallow. As soon as his mouth was clear of the stone I set to work siphoning any venom I could from the wound with the wound cleaning potion and I tried to stop the flow of blood, but that was never a spell I had been any good at.
There was so much blood, on him, on me, on the floor around us. I tried to ignore it as I forced the blood replenishing potion down his throat. Still there didn't seem to be any improvement. I threw the burn past to the side in frustration, my tears growing more hysterical. I leaned my ear to his mouth listening for his breath.
"Please, please," I sobbed, wracking my mind for an answer.
It came to me in a flash. I remembered a page of the book of ancient magic he had leant to me. There was a spell in there that might work. I could give myself over to him and it might bring him back from the brink of death. There was no question as to if I loved him. Did I love him enough to die for him? For one moment I stared at my blood soaked clothes and hands, and that was all it took to know my answer.
I drew my wand once more, and used it to slice the palm of my hand open. It was ancient magic, so it was blood magic and I needed some of my own blood as well as his. When my own blood was falling rather quickly from my own hand, I placed it against the still weeping wound on his neck, allowing them to mix.
"Sanguinem meum, animam meam, animam meam," I chanted in latin, hoping that I had gotten the pronunciation right.
And then I leant forward, pitching my body over his. As many ancient spells were, this one was meant to be sealed with a kiss. How long had I dreamt of kissing those lips, and now I could, but there was no joy in it. They were lifeless, without any color, and he didn't even know I was kissing him. I thought only of my love for him as I pressed my lips against his and finished the spell.
Almost instantly it took effect. I felt my power draining out of me, and channeling through my lips into him. For a moment I could feel his body absorbing what I was giving him, and then I slipped into the growing darkness and I felt nothing at all.
The Latin translates to: Take my blood, take my soul, take my life.