Sooo and update. Sorry is not lazyness. I have a lot of work and I am leaving to vacation soon, so everything is about plans plans plans, and work work work. Have this chapter in my mind for some time now. I want to give thanks to all my dear reviewers. :D Thank you for the encouragement. This chapter mentions very lightly suicide thoughts. I just wanted to say...loneliness and self-hate sometimes bring you to dark places...but when you are there, trust it gets better. And ask for help. It can be a friend, familiar or a professional. You are not alone. Life is very worth living. And it gets better. Really. It does.

It is easier to say he is coming, than actually doing it. It is a 9 hours flight from Paris to NY, and then he has to get a second airplane all the way to LA, which is at the other side of the country

So Chuck executes plan B. Serena is probably going to be pissed off, but Chuck is desperate. He is afraid.

Serena sounded too far gone, too detached.

He has been there. And he is familiar with the dark thoughts and darker intentions that being lonely and hating yourself can bring. But even as much as Chuck has hated himself, he loves life and that is probably the reason he has survived so much crap (getting shot, accident, heartbroken). The only time he was ready to give up, Blair saved him. Call him back from that darkness.

(Blair. He has 7 lost calls from Blair and a 3 SMS. He ignores them. There is nothing he can do to solve it)

Serena, is a creature of light. Chuck understands and survives darkness, because he is darkness, so nothing new there.

(I am Batman, Nate answered to this little speech once)

Serena, bright Serena does not understand that darkness. She understands screw ups and drugs and daddy issues, but never loneliness, because Serena is such a sweetheart she has never been really alone. She brings light to the world, lits it up, makes things shine brigther and prettier when she is around.

Until now. And that means she does not understands, and that she can break.

And he cannot allow that.

She is too precious to him , to allow it.

Plan B, requires him to swallow his pride and man up. He does and while he is flying to New York, he dials a Texas mobile number.

(He just swallows his pride, but if tastes bitter and leaves a knot in his stomach)

Carter is not amused hearing Chuck`s voice and is about to hang up after sending him to fuck himself where the sun never shines, when Chuck says Serena name.

That gets Carter attention.

"Serena needs help, she is holing up on some LA hotel. One of your dealers got her some drugs, she sounded very high and depressed and..."

Chuck can`t say the words. He can´t. (Iamscaredshemaydosomethingst upid)

"And?" Carter says softly. He hates Chuck, thank you very much, but this is not about that bastard, is about Serena, and Carter after all this time, after breaking her heart, he still cares. Cares (loves) Serena enought to swallow his pride and his hate and listen. Because he knows what that and means, and he as Chuck, knows and understands the feeling of being high, depressed and alone. And the ideas related to that feeling.

"I am flying to NY and then to LA. But I don´t know where she is, and I am sure if you make a call to your dealer he can tell you. And then you can go...until I get there. Because you are in Texas so you can get there before I do I...I will pay for everything and..."

"Chuck..."

"Please Carter. Please..." there is too emotion in Chuck`s voice, so much it surprises Carter. Chuck notices too, but Serena brings some many emotions, he is getting used to it.

"Shut up a second baby billionare. I was telling you, you are a lucky bastard. Right this moment I am in LA, and was going to call my dealer for some items...so...move your ass and come over. I will take care of our party queen"

"Thank you...call me when you know anything"

"Sure...and you own me" and Carter hangs up.

Chuck sighs and stares at the phone. The knot dissolves slowly and the bitter taste gets washed by a sip of scotch.

Still 4 hours to land in NY.