Title: Enduring Time
Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama
Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations
Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala
Season: Future
Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"
Summary: The family gathering at Ry'ac's home was just about the least peaceful affair Sam could have imagined…
Sequel/Series Info: Continuation from Chapter 10 of Enduring Time and sequel series to Unending Time
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund
Author's notes: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and keeping me on track. Any remaining errors are entirely my own. Particularly in the short section of this chapter that has not been beta read because I added it later! Thanks also to all of you who continue to read and enjoy this story, and tell me so. My muse is inspired by your encouraging words.
Enduring Time: Chapter 11
Previously:
"I don't get it," she ventured. "After all that, you still asked me on a date. Why? How did you do that, find the courage?"
"I don't know. One day I realized I just hadn't tried hard enough, I guess. I was nuts about you, Sam, then and now. You were worth a shot, even if you pushed me away again. My last chance. If you'd said no, I probably wouldn't have asked again."
"Thank heaven I said yes." She leaned in to kiss him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the brief peck she had started. Pulling away, breathlessly, he eyed her again.
"Yeah, thank heaven you said yes. All that's over and done with. It's history. What matters is now."
She smiled, squeezing him gently. "I can't promise never to hurt you again, Jack, I wish I could, but life isn't like that. We'll have arguments, probably lots of them. But I can promise to try my best."
"Then that's enough. You're my wife and I know you love me. Just continue doing what you do."
"Loving you? I think I can handle that."
"Feel like proving how much?" he replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh, yes," she agreed with a lascivious smirk. "I can definitely handle that!"
And this was where his candidness ended for the moment. Then he opened up to her in an entirely different and fulfilling way. Sam remembered their lovemaking that night well too, and the memories made her smile, but miss him even more.
The story continues:
The family gathering at Ry'ac's home was just about the least peaceful affair Sam could have imagined. The family set up tables in their garden, and they almost sagged under the weight of food and drink.
The garden had an expanse of lawn and was dotted around and about with various flower beds of toning hues: reds and oranges, blues and purples, whites and yellows, and so on. Obviously, it was well cared for and Sam found herself increasingly surprised by how it could so easily have been a garden of any community in America.
The main difference was that some of the flowers were unfamiliar and alien, although not in any disconcerting way. Sam did not get the feeling that they would bite, which had been a feature of some of her many travels to alien worlds.
While cooler than the heat of midday, the evening was warm and balmy, with fluffy clouds returning to scatter across the bright blue sky. Sunglasses perched on her nose, Sam sat in a comfortable chair with Ry'ac close by and Teal'c at the opposite end of their table near his grandchildren. He appeared to relish that grandfatherly role, keeping an affectionately watchful eye as they ate and played, talking and interacting with them as any grandfather should.
Sam figured he had missed so much of Ry'ac's childhood while fulfilling his duty and dreams that he was making up for it now. His geniality toward the children delighted her, and she realized what a wonderful father he would have made if given the chance and the universe and Goa'uld had not intervened.
In the spirit of this Jaffa planet, Ry'ac and Kar'yn invited their neighbors as well as family. The children noisily played and tussled all around them as the adults sat and talked over each other, like people do in many homes throughout the universe.
Her ubiquitous babysitters, Mike and Denis, quickly got into the swing of things, throwing their caution and their weapons to the winds to play with the kids. The two men were thoroughly enjoying themselves and rapidly realized that Jaffa children's games were not very different to those they played on Earth.
Young Brat'ac's wife, El'ra, had a baby at her breast, and Ry'ac's daughter, Sha'lok, had two young toddlers, who were the handful one might expect to find anywhere from children of their ages. But the children that played around them varied in age from young teen to babe in arms, and provided the gathering with the jolly and boisterous atmosphere of an extended family at rest and play. Sam realized these were the first generations of Jaffa to be born truly free and she wondered about the impact of such momentous changes to a race and its culture.
The food was excellent; locally caught fish and game, eggs and milk from home bred chickens and goats, vegetables and salads, and fruit and fruit juices that mainly originated from produce grown on Ry'ac's own acres of land.
Sam was amused when El'ra handed Teal'c her baby and the old Jaffa warrior cradled him in his arms, fondling him and murmuring baby talk with a huge soppy smile on his face. She could not recall having seen such a smile on his lips before now and his joy at playing great grandpapa delighted her.
As she watched, her friend raised his eyes to meet hers and seemed flustered by her gaze, as if embarrassed to be caught out in such an act with his family. She grinned, eyes clearly sparkling with the delight she felt at the sight, and the nature of Teal'c's smile changed. It was as if he smiled only at and for her, a secretive smile of the type that only very close friends exchange.
Ry'ac, who sat next to her, noted it, and turned to whisper in Sam's ear. "I think your presence is good for my father. He appears brighter than I have seen him of late. I am very glad you are here, Samantha. He has missed his Tauri friends greatly, I believe."
The words broke the spell between her and Teal'c and she turned to respond with an equally low whisper. "I miss him, too, Ry'ac. He's been a great friend, one of the best anyone could wish for. Your father is a good man, and he was such a comfort when Jack died."
Ry'ac's tone turned more somber. "I was sorry to learn of his death. He, too, was a good man. I wished to accompany my father back to Earth at the time, but he insisted on going alone."
"I'm sorry you could not come," she replied but her secret thoughts told her otherwise. She was thankful Teal'c had come alone as she had derived so much solace from his quiet, solid company. Ry'ac's presence might have spoiled that dynamic.
Sitting back in silence, Sam observed Teal'c's family and soaked up the atmosphere. She was tired. An old woman now, she realized she had probably extended herself too much for one day. There had been a lot of excitement since she had walked through the gate that morning, a lot of walking, wrought emotions, and now this. It was exhausting just watching all the activity.
Watching Teal'c, she wondered that he did not feel it too. He did not seem in the least fatigued. Sam had no real idea how old he was in Jaffa terms, how many more years he might be expected to remain healthy or live. She wished for him to live long and be able to take full advantage of the pleasure he so obviously got from his family and their children.
Evidently, Ry'ac and Kar'yn were still very much in love. At first, Teal'c had been against their marriage but before they came here this evening, he admitted to Sam he had been wrong. He feared they had been too young, that his son did not yet understand what love and commitment truly was. He was anxious that Ry'ac's partnership with Kar'yn would hold him back from whatever ambitions he had.
They were natural fears for a father to have for his son, but they had turned out to be groundless. Teal'c did not seem to mind admitting his error. Their contentment made him happy - their children and their children's children even more so.
Sam wondered if Teal'c might secretly envy such contentment. Whether he wished his life could have been different. She was very fond of her Jaffa friend and wanted the life for him that he might have desired. He had paid dearly for his freedom and that of his Jaffa brethren, although Sam was not certain he would regret the high price.
Maybe sometimes. Everyone has regrets, but this does not necessarily mean they made mistakes. On some levels, the right thing can also be the wrong thing.
Like Jack, Teal'c sacrificed much to achieve his goals. But Sam had always hoped her husband reaped some reward from his long and happy marriage to her. It seemed he had thought so. Teal'c had not been so lucky. One of those sacrifices had been his wife. He was alone despite his family.
It was not that Sam really believed everything in life came down to having a good life partnership. Far from it. Happiness is about way more than that. However, she knew from experience how much such a relationship could mean because she'd had one.
Before Jack, her life had been full and she had achieved much. The intimacy and sharing of life with Jack, however, was a bonus that was beyond price. It defied description. Sam would not have missed it for anything. Although she might never have known differently, she was happy she had.
Looking at him now, Sam envied Teal'c the energy he seemed to have. It was something she could probably never muster again. An adrenaline rush must have kept her going up until recently, but she could feel it seeping out of her.
As the evening drew on and the sun waned, she continued to glance at the sky with interest. Although still light, one moon appeared, seemingly closer and larger than the moon on Earth, and she briefly wondered how that affected seasons and tides on the planet.
The setting sun was a thing of astonishing magnificence, a rich tapestry of color ranging from deep and unusual oranges and reds to tinges of green, blue and purple in various shades. She stared at it in wonder, as if she had never seen a sunset before, and she hadn't. At least not on this planet. Her various travels might have prepared her, but it had been a long time since she had ventured to alien worlds, and Sam had learned that alien skies could be very different and more extraordinary than what she was used to back on Earth.
Then, as twilight followed and it darkened, the second moon made its appearance. It seemed smaller than the first, or perhaps only more distant; difficult to tell for sure without instrumentation with which to measure it accurately. The night sky twinkled with many stars, and lack of Earth-like artificial light made it a spectacle to behold with some awe. As Jack might have said, this just never grows old.
While she had viewed the universe through the eyes of a scientist, the apparently cynical and world-weary Jack had seen the beauty and marvel of the skies, and taught her to do the same. The memory of their many nights of stargazing made her smile. Nights spent staring at the heavens, Jack pointing to various stars and constellations talking about them as if he knew each one intimately.
His awe rubbed off on her. Although he traveled the stars for his work, Jack never tired of the more familiar ones within his own field of vision. Stars spied either with the naked eye or through his telescope from the rooftop; or while they lay on a blanket in each others arms after a picnic in the countryside; or while they sat on the porch or the dock at the cabin, holding hands.
He would whisper to her as if introducing her to old friends, and then they might kiss, caress and fondle, as if the stargazing were foreplay to a seduction, which sometimes it was. They might make love then and there, under the canopy Jack admired so much, with the woman he also prized, and it was as if this was their own little world, and no one else existed in the whole universe.
Sam chuckled to herself at the sheer corniness of her meandering thoughts. Jack would probably laugh too if she voiced such notions to him, although deep down he had a heart for romance, When it came down to it, his romantic side was probably greater than hers, much more so than Sam had ever anticipated.
If the scientific wheels of her mind started spinning, Jack would give her a look, utter a word, or squeeze her gently, and Sam would realize she was sucking the fun out of it and shut up. Her husband had taught her to look at so many things with different eyes, his eyes, and those eyes had been worth looking through. Sam would always be grateful for the Jack O'Neill world view, and how it had changed her life and mind. She missed that so terribly that it continued to wrench her heart and feel like a sucker punch to her stomach.
"Ma'am, are you all right?" a voice asked, and she glanced up to see Mike Andrews looming above her with a concerned look. Smiling, she grabbed his hand with the little strength she could summon.
"I'm just a little tired, Mike. Why don't you sit down and keep me company for a while?"
He hesitated briefly, as if thinking, and then squatted down beside her. Ry'ac touched him on the shoulder and he turned to look.
"You wish to sit here with Samantha?" he asked, rising from his chair and making room. The younger man nodded, taking Ry'ac's place beside her once he had moved.
"The lieutenant and I could take you home, ma'am," he offered. "You look in need of a bed."
"I thought I told you to call me Sam," she said with a faint grin. Her face had paled and the Major tried to hide his anxiety.
"Ma'am…?"
"Please don't make me go home yet. I just need to sit here a while. Get a second wind. I'll be fine." Mike glanced around, indecisively. "Tell me a little about yourself, Mike."
She still gripped his hand, and the strength with which she held it surprised him. Reaching over to the table, he poured some water and handed it to her.
"Perhaps you need some water, ma'am?"
Sam did not think she did but humored him, taking the glass in her free hand, having a sip and then returning it to the table top. Glancing around, she realized that the tables and garden were now strewn with so many lights that they rivaled the glory of the numerous stars that had caught her attention and made her drift off into daydreams. The candles within lanterns swayed and shimmered gracefully like twinkling stars.
It looked pretty, but she turned her attention back to her companion. "I asked you a question, Mike. Are you going to keep an old woman waiting?"
"We really should take you…"
"Soon. Humor a grumpy old crone."
Mike laughed. "Crone? No way ma'am."
She grinned, eyes lighting up, which suddenly made her appear full of life, and Mike returned her smile. "Sam," she said, persistently.
"I-I shouldn't," he said, and Sam chuckled as he seemed to have gone shy on her, like a small toddler. She could have sworn that he would have hidden behind his mother's skirts had she been present.
The man was so young. How she wished… but there was no point in wishing for the impossible. With advances in medicine and technology, human life spans were longer now. Sam envied the young their futures, the things they would take for granted and the new advances and wonders they would live to see. She regretted that she would not live to see that future and suspected this was something that gave most old people pause for thought.
Despite that, Sam was not sure she would really want to be young again, not unless she could raise her husband from the dead and make him young too. Life would be worth living all over again if that could happen.
"Come on, Mike, it's a party," she said in a jolly tone that disguised those thoughts. "We're all friends here. So?"
He sighed, deciding to accede and relaxing slightly. "What do you want to know about me…Sam?"
"Better," she replied with a mocking smirk. "Tell me about the things that interest you. Tell me about your family. Where do you come from? Anything…"
"I'm really not that interesting."
"Sure you are. We all are. Unique, individual, human."
He pondered that for a while before replying. "You've done so much in your lifetime. I couldn't hope to ever be as interesting as that."
She laughed, figuring the young man suffered from some kind of hero worship. Flattered though she was, this was not something she sought.
"I was a young Major too, once."
"Yes, ma-Sam. I've read a lot about you."
"Well, I know all about me. It's you I'm interested in."
Her persistence thrilled him, made him feel good about himself. The great Samantha Carter/O'Neill was interested in him. That really was a tale to tell his grandchildren. So he settled down to talk to one of his heroes, to tell her what she wanted to know.
"I come from a large family a little like this one. The youngest. Four sisters."
Sam chuckled at that thought. Poor guy. How brow beaten he must have been, and how spoiled.
"I had lots of aunts, uncles and cousins, though - some of them like brothers. This shindig reminds me of the parties we used to have back home. The whole family would gather in someone's yard. We'd have trestle tables weighed down with food, lots of games for us kids."
"A happy childhood, then?" she asked.
"Oh, yes, ma'am. My four sisters would bully me sometimes, but mainly in fun. At least I got used to women. Love 'em."
"What man doesn't?"
"I know quite a few, ma'am."
"You're slipping," she admonished at him addressing her as ma'am again.
Chuckling and then smiling broadly, he corrected himself. "Sam."
The smile had a similar quality to her husband's and Sam thought the young man looked handsome and charming, just as Jack had.
"Good," she said, trying not to drift off into thoughts of Jack. "Are you married, Mike?" She noted the lack of a wedding ring but took nothing for granted.
"No." There was something in Sam's manner that invited confidences, so he continued. "There's someone special, though."
"Ah!" she replied with a grin. "We all deserve a special someone in our lives."
"I'm not sure she feels the same."
The comment piqued her curiosity. "Not your girlfriend?"
"Wish she was."
"You haven't asked?"
The young Major looked uncertain about continuing, but after a long pause, clarified.
"She works at the SGC."
"I see. Frat regs?" she asked.
"Something like that," he replied wistfully. Her grip on his hand tightened and he felt forced to meet her eyes which burned into him with an intensity that made him shiver.
"Don't waste your life wanting and loving and doing nothing, Mike." He noticed a distant expression come over her face. "Jack and I wasted too much time, understanding, misunderstanding. Everything else came first; careers, fighting the enemy. Sometimes I wish we'd just gone for it."
Mike hung on every word. She was talking about his hero, the great Jack O'Neill. He dared not say anything in case he disturbed her train of thought. Samantha Carter was hero enough in her own right, but to hear about her husband from her mouth was beyond anything he might have wished for, short of meeting the man while he was still alive.
"He was the one," she continued. "I knew, but tried to deny it, fight it. He did too. Jack seemed to think I should get another life when what I wanted was a life with him. I thought fighting by his side was enough, and it wasn't until much later I realized it never had been. It was adequate, great really, but not enough. Not compared to what we found later."
When she trailed off, he waited to see if she continued but she did not, so he prompted her.
"But you got a life with him, ma'am. I guess you got lucky," he said with an encouraging smile.
"Sure, eventually. When he was my CO, how could we? Darned frat regs. We worked together for years, watched each other hurting, caring more than either of us should. We should have fought for more, but we didn't. We waited, came close to screwing up, and we could have had more years."
Mike nodded, remaining silent as she continued, still eager to glean whatever he could direct from a source who knew. Briefly, he wondered if he could get her to talk about their adventures as SG-1. He had read stories, reports, but he was betting there was a lot more she could tell him than anything on a written page.
"Working by his side was one hell of a ride. He taught me so much. I'll always be grateful for that. He was a great team leader, a great general, one of the best men I've ever been privileged to know; courageous, a real hero, although he never thought so. He was so modest. Sometimes, to outsiders, he could appear quite different to what he really was, but if you knew him… Marriage, living with him day after day, waking by his side, his smile, his touch, his companionship, his love - that was so much more. Extraordinary.
"Don't get me wrong. Jack wasn't perfect. Far from it. He was human, just like the rest of us. I didn't always agree with him. Sometimes he could be hateful, a total bastard, but Jack had a moral code of his own. Mostly, he did the right thing for the right reasons, but he wasn't always right. He could be stubborn and unforgiving, or quite the opposite. A complicated man who liked to think he was simple. Liked to pretend he was dumb too, but he wasn't, of course."
She paused for thought for a short while and then continued, almost as if she was talking to herself rather than to Mike. "Jack gave so much of himself that sometimes I wonder how he had anything left."
Then, Sam loosed her grip, dropping her hand to her lap, and Mike feared she would stop, so prompted her again.
"You loved him very much," he said, a statement rather than a question. The answer was blindingly obvious.
"Ya think?" she replied with a chuckle, knowing he would not get the little joke, but he would understand the gist. Patting his hand, she sighed. "And there I was thinking we were talking about you."
"Oh, but Jack O'Neill is way more fascinating."
Sam eyed him with amusement. "Quite the hero. One of yours?"
When he looked flustered by the question, her amusement deepened.
"Um, yes ma'am," Mike admitted falteringly. "I've read everything I can lay my hands on about him, you, SG-1…"
"Me?" she queried. "I was the boring scientist."
Mike laughed at that. "Me too. Physics." She nodded and smiled, delighted by that discovery. "But you were way more than that, ma'am."
"I could tell you some stories…" He waited hopefully, but when she continued, it was not to reminisce but to issue an invitation.
"You should come to the cabin in Minnesota one day. Maybe I could tell you some then." She laughed at his reaction; mouth hanging open in a dumbstruck, awed kind of way, eyes as big as saucers. "I mean it Mike. If you can stomach an old woman's company. But only if you bring that young woman you're so crazy about along with you. So, you see, you have to ask her."
"I-I-I'd be honored, ma'am." Mike couldn't believe his good fortune. The great General Samantha Carter had actually invited him to visit her in the cabin where Jack O'Neill had lived, where he had spent much of his childhood, where he had fished, the place that had become the marital home of Jack and Samantha O'Neill. This was too good to be true - incredible!
Only problem was, he'd have to ask Jane. It seemed to be a condition of his visit. Mike was not sure he could pull that off, but he liked the old woman even more for wanting him to.
"And one word of ma'am in my home will get you thrown out, young man," Sam said mockingly and Mike laughed.
"I'll try my best, Sam. Getting Jane to come with me might be the bigger problem."
"Jane? That's her name? Nice name. She'll come. How could she resist a handsome young man like you with that wonderful smile?" Sam smirked at Mike's responding blush.
'Wonderful smile? Cool!' he thought but did not express those thoughts aloud. "I figure that might be easier than her saying yes."
Sam of all people could relate to that because of the number of times she had turned down Jack's invitations to his cabin. Saying no was always the easiest option, while also being the most difficult. She often wondered what might have happened if she had accepted years earlier.
"If she says no, I'll call her up to give her a piece of my mind," she said. "I turned Jack down too many times. Wish I hadn't. I longed to say yes, but lacked the courage. Maybe your Jane will have more courage than I. I hope so."
Mike waited for her to say more and when she remained silent, peered at her closely. Her head was drooping and he experienced a brief moment of panic, worried she was ill, or worse.
"General Carter?" he said softly, and then with increasing loudness, "General? Sam?"
Teal'c heard and looked up, hurriedly passing the baby back to El'ra and rising to rush to Sam's side. She looked pale. Too pale. Squatting down, he took her hand, moving his other hand to feel the pulse in her neck. It was throbbing gently and he sighed with relief.
"Samantha?" he whispered softly, gently touching her face with his fingertips and then looking up at Mike. "I believe she is asleep."
"Thank god. I thought…" Mike replied with palpable relief. "She did seem tired. It's been a long and energetic day for a woman of her age."
Teal'c glared at the younger man. "There is much life in Samantha yet," he retorted with an angered tone.
"I-I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean any offense. She's not Jaffa, she's human."
"Of this I am aware," snapped Teal'c, and then he sighed regretfully, inclining his head into a bow. "Forgive me. You are correct. We should take her home to bed."
Despite his advanced age, Teal'c stood and then bent to lift her into his arms. She was so light; frail and… old, but not too old. He was sure she had much more life to come, if she wanted live it without O'Neill. Teal'c feared that she might not. He dreaded the day a young man like the Major would knock on his door to break that sad news. One day, perhaps… but not today. He thought Samantha could easily outlive him.
"We'll carry her, sir," the Major offered, nodding toward his lieutenant, who had magically appeared by his side ready to assist.
"I will do it. Samantha is no burden to me," Teal'c replied. "You will accompany me."
"Yes, sir," the two Air Force officers agreed in unison, muttering numerous thanks to the gathering for their hospitality.
Teal'c bowed to his friends and family, asking forgiveness for leaving so peremptorily, and stalked off, led by the two airmen with torches, and holding Sam with tender care and attention. She murmured and stirred slightly a few times, but did not awaken.
Although she seemed to weigh increasingly more as they walked, Teal'c refused to show his discomfort and insisted on carrying her all the way home. Not far, but far enough for an old Jaffa, he thought regretfully, realizing that age and frailty were not confined to his human guest.
When they reached his cabin, the two men followed him in to light the way, lighting some candles in his living space and bedroom. They watched as he gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Then he politely dismissed them, and remained standing over his sleeping friend watching the rise and fall of her breath.
For one brief moment back at Ry'ac's, he had been alarmed, thinking she might have passed on, and Teal'c needed to ensure she was all right. Having sat in a chair to watch for a long time, stirred by memories of the bed they had shared for so many years, he got up and kissed her forehead. Tenderly, he swept her hair away from it with his surprisingly light touch, and left her to sleep alone - but he was wishing it did not have to be that way.
TBC