Pikmin 2: The Side You Didn't See Chapter 11, a pikmin fanfic

Note: A warning: this chapter is significantly longer than the ones before. Like, if you don't have 20 minutes free you probably can't finish it in a single sitting.

Oh, and in this chapter when you see a long bar of dashed lines, that's code for a meanwhile. I originally had three line breaks but this thing doesn't like that format so I improvised.

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Chapter 11: Tha Biggest Partay EVA! (Complete with typos and slang!)
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*Last chapter on Pikmin 2: The Side You Didn't See, Titan Dweevil proposed to Disco Ball, whose silence after being asked obviously meant yes. I mean, who wouldn't say yes to such a question? We all know that Titan is just a totally awesome guy, who didn't need to bribe me in order to say this. (Whew, nice save!)*

*Anyhow, they said that the next day they would start planning for the celebration. We'll just skip that part, because otherwise it would be boring and filled with... Well filler. And we all hate filler.*

*This massive chapter starts out in a large clearing underground, where Breadbugs are running around everywhere trying to prepare for the big day. Everyone is wearing a tux, ignoring the fact that many of them lack the proper body parts to wear them, much less put them on in the first place.*

Titan Dweevil: *in tux* So, what's the progress?

Giant Breadbug: *in tux* Great, great, we're making great ti- MOVE TO THE LEFT YOU IDIOT!

Titan Dweevil: That's nice to hea-

Giant Breadbug: LEFT! LEFT! NOT RIGHT!- Sorry about that, these guys kinda suck... But we do what we can.

Titan Dweevil: Alright, well, how's the ca-

Giant Breadbug: DOLT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO JUMP!

Breadbug #78658: *playing GCN* Sorry! I forgot!

Breadbug #98748: W00T! My turn to play SSBM! I PWN!

Titan Dweevil: So, I see you've all been busy slacking... And here I thought you actually knew that "world famous" chef...

Chef Breadbug: *in chef hat and tux* VAT!? Vho said Zees? Zees eez lies! Zou shall not eat from MY food!

Giant Breadbug: Kophio, I'd like to introduce you to the groom, you know, the guy that HIRED YOU.

Kophio: Vat? Ze knows nozing about ze art of food!

Giant Breadbug: Yeah, actually he does, let's not forget I was the one that taught you all you know today.

Kophio: *sigh* Vight, vight... Alas, vhere are my manners?

Titan Dweevil: So, if you don't mind, can you please tell me why you guys are all sitting around playing video games?

Kophio: Vhat do vou expect us to do vhile ve vait for ze microvave to vinish?

Titan Dweevil: Oh, I understa- MICROWAVE!? I thought you were supposed to be world-class?

Kophio: Vell, vhat do I look like to vou? A voman? I'm a man, ve don't know how to cook!

Titan Dweevil: What about all those cookbooks I gave you guys? What'd you do with them?

Kophio: Ah! Ve uze zem for ze filling! Zey are being cooked as ve speak!

Titan Dweevil:... Are there any books left? I mean, you can't expect my guests to eat microwaveable food, not that they matter unless their shiny, but still... I wanted the biggest party ever!

Kophio: Vell... Zere eez vone... VOU! Vetch zeet!

Breadbug #21857: *drags in a giant book titled "Biology for Procrastinators (Yes, that means you GP)"*

Titan Dweevil: Well, start reading! A book that big has got to have some great recipes! And maybe even some shiny ones too!

Raging Long-Legs: *walks up* *in tux* So Titan... Ready for the big day?

Titan Dweevil: Of course I am! I'm the one who designed everything afterall!

Raging Long-Legs: You designed the Revolution!?

Titan Dweevil:... Well, it was MY idea to make it shiny.

Raging Long-Legs: Cool! So anyhow... How's everything going?

Titan Dweevil: Great! We're gonna be ready in record time!

Raging Long-Legs: There's a record for the fastest wedding?

Titan Dweevil: No, but there will be soon enough. As I always say: The more shinies you have, the happier you will be.

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Pileated Snagret:*in tux* You have to admit, that was some fast talking you did there to actually get to come.

Segmented Crawbster:*in tux* No kidding. I probably would've killed Raging anyway though, because I'm not afriad of him.

Pileated Snagret: But I still wonder, both him and Titan seemed very interested in letting us come... I just wonder why they gave us this job...

Segmented Crawbster: At least we get to come. Considering the stuff they've brought in so far, this is gonna be an awesome party.

Waterwraith: *rolls up* *in tux* Hey! I'm early huh?

Segmented Crawbster: Congragulations.

Waterwraith: *hands Segmented Crawbster ticket* HA! I can't believe you guys have to sit out here the whole time!

Segmented Crawbster: Yup, we're the watch. What we watch goes down in the books. And, it just so happens we tend not to watch when little wusses get the life beaten out of them. So go on in.

Waterwraith: You're forgetting procedure, remember?

Segmented Crawbster: *sighs* *takes out piece of paper* Hello! My name is insert name here, and welcome to Titan Dweevil's awesome Wedding Party! While you're here, I hope you enjoy yourself as you eat, drink, and drool your heart out while staring at shiny stuff. If something is not the way you would like, please tell me and I will go and blah blah blah I'm going to kill you again and again. Now go in.

Waterwraith: Aww... The wittle cwab can wead!

Segmented Crawbster: *whacks Waterwraith's stone roller, causing him to roll backwards into a bottomless pit* Aww... Wook at the wittle wuss woll!

Pileated Snagret: *hops next to the pit* You have to admit, that was pretty strange placement on their end. I just don't get why nobody pays any attention to the warning sign?

Sign:*in tux* "Warning! Bottomless Pit! (15 feet deep)"

Segmented Crawbster: The world may never know...

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Raging Long-Legs: Man... How much longer until everyone else comes?

Titan Dweevil: I dunno... Doodlebug better show up though, that little fart (HA HA! Clever pun. I should be given a shiny medal.) promised he'd find a bunch of guys to fill all sorts of jobs.

Antenna Beetle: *drops in* *in tux* Hey DUDE! I did just like you said, I gave every ticket to everybody I could find!

Titan Dweevil: Finally! Go help yourself to some food, the rest of the guests should be here soon...

Antenna Beetle: *hops up to the food bar next to Kophio* Hey DUDE! What's up?

Kophio: *reads the big book* This is so illogical! Why not give the body two hearts, so that when one breaks, the other can keep pumping and you don't die?

Antenna Beetle: Ahh... I get it... You girlfriend just broke up with you... Man, that's stuff hard, but you'll live through it...

Kophio: GAH! These formulas are too complex! How will I know the proper way to create fatty acids for lipids!?

Antenna Beetle: Wow, man, hold up. The last thing you do is tell your girlfriend she's fat, that's like one of the basics dude. I'm pretty sure nobody would like to hear about- HOLY COW! *points at Widow Empress*

Widow Empress: *in tux(HA! Tricked you!)**In a huge dress* *is eating out of a huge bowl of nachos*

Antenna Beetle: WOW! *jaw drops*

Kophio: Look at that! Overnourishment! Obesity! How does a creature expect to survive with such a disgusting lifestyle!?

Antenna Beetle: DUDE!... I think I'm in love!

Kophio: Yeah, sure you are, like anyone would ever-

Antenna Beetle: Hey Dudette! I bet I could chug down this jar of nacho cheese in less than ten seconds!

Kophio: Hmm... Lets see here *flips through pages* Love... Love... Here we go! "When a creature is in love, they tend to develop a habit of doing insane and stupid stuff. How this impresses the other gender, I have no idea. The best way to prevent such side effects is to... BRB, I got to go swallow a bucket of knives."... Well, nevermind then.

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MAL: *in tux* *walks up to Segmented with ticket*

Segmented Crawbster: Go on in MAL, you're right on time- *rock flies by face* What the...?

Waterwraith: *climbs out of bottomless pit* HA! Did you really think I'd go down that easily? *throws another rock*

MAL: *is hit by rock* *turns around and shoots Waterwraith*

Waterwraith: *is knocked back into the pit* CURSES! I will have my revenge! *loud thud* OUCH!

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Raging Long-Legs: So Titan, you're sure you have everything ready?

Titan Dweevil: How many times do I have to tell you?

Raging Long-Legs: I don't know, so far the only way you've replied is by saying "How many times do I have to tell you?".

Titan Dweevil: Really?

Raging Long-Legs: Yeah, like that one time...

-FLASH-

Raging Long-Legs: So Titan, you're sure you have everything ready?

Titan Dweevil: How many times do I have to tell you?

Raging Long-Legs: I don't know, so far the only way you've replied is by saying "How many times do I have to tell you?".

Titan Dweevil: Really?

Raging Long-Legs: Yeah, like that one time...

-FLASH-

Titan Dweevil: Ok, now I'm confused. Are we in a flashback right now, or did it end?

Raging Long-Legs: Nope, this is a flashback.

-FLASH-

Raging Long-Legs: There we go, now it's real time.

Titan Dweevil: Boy, that was strange. I certainly don't remember that last flashback...

Raging Long-Legs: Really? Well, it went something like this...

-FLASH-

Titan Dweevil: Ok, now I'm confused. Are we in a flashback right now, or did it end?

Raging Long-Legs: Nope, this is a flashback.

-FLASH-

Titan Dweevil: Fascinating.

Raging Long-Legs: Isn't it?

Widow Empress: You know, this seems a little strange for a wedding...

Titan Dweevil: Pfft, what do you know about being married?

Widow Empress:... *ahem*

Titan Dweevil:... BESIDES the fact that you are morbidly obese.

Widow Empress: I'm a widow you idiot!

Titan Dweevil:... Which means... What exactly?

Velociraptors: *are extinct* *in tux*

Raging Long-Legs: Widow, you're gonna have to excuse Titan Dweevil, he's... Well...

Widow Empress: An idiot?

Raging Long-Legs: Well, putting the obvious aside, yes.

Widow Empress: Just why couldn't you all do this the old fashoined way though? This is pure insanity, especially with the live entertainer... Though he is drawing quite the crowd...

Raging Long-Legs: Live entertainer? But we never hired...

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Breadbugs:*in tux* CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

Antenna Beetle: *drinks down a tub of 100% pure artificial freshly squeezed orange juice* YEAH! PAY UP!

Breadbugs: W00T! That's awesome! *pay*

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Widow Empress: Yeah... Whoever he is just won't leave me alone!

Raging Long-Legs: Well, we couldn't really have an official normal wedding because Disco Ball doesn't really have anything close to resembling a father.

Widow Empress: You're right, and to have him appear out of nowhere would only happen in one of those cheesy chick movies.

Raging Long-Legs: Why do people even go to those?

Widow Empress: To see who else is dumb enough to go see them.

Raging Long-Legs: Ah...

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Bulborb Larva #416: *in tux* Hi mister! Me name is Bulborb Larva, but you call me BL. Me have ticket! *shows ticket* ^_^

Segmented Crawbster: Awwww.... (Uh-oh! I have to keep up my tough attitude!)... Ahem, sorry about that, I was spacing off. Yeah, you can go right in-

Waterwraith: *climbs out of hole* HA! You thought I was done for, didn't you?

Segmented Crawbster: Nah, not really.

Waterwraith:... Oh. Well... Prepare for my revenge!

BL: HAHA! Big drop look dumby! ^_^

Waterwraith: Wait a minute... You're.... You're... YOU! IT'S YOU!

Segmented Crawbster: Yes Waterwraith, it is I.

Waterwraith: No, don't you remember him? It was about a year ago?

Segmented Crawbster: I'm drawing up a blank....

Waterwraith: Battle of the Bosses?

Segmented Crawbster: *gasp* You don't mean... He's the guy...

BL: No way! You guys is the ones I beated? HA! I no recognize you, you was PWNed when I saw you. You all is wusses. ^_^

Waterwraith: Sweet revenge.... DIE! *rolls toward BL*

Doodlebug: *appears**in tux*FORCE-FLOW FART! *farts*

Waterwraith: *is blown back ino the bottomless pit by a gust of wind* NOOOO!!!! *loud thud* I will get my revenge!

BL: HA! You fart makes the dumb peoples fall down! ^_^

Segmented Crawbster: Doodle! Hurry up, and get inside and... Where are the others?

Doodlebug: Don't worry, when I said I had them covered, I meant it.

Iridescent Glint Beetle: *appears**in a shiny, golden ninja suit* Doodle? Is that you?

Doodlebug: o_o.... Oh no... Glint, what are you doing here?

Glint: YO! I never knew you were coming here! Man, you've grown... Of course, you're still smaller than me! ^_^

Doodlebug:... By 4 millimeters...

Segmented Crawbster: This is a touching scene, but if you don't have a ticket, you can't get in.

Glint: Oh yeah? You, my friend, underestimate the power of ninjitsu!

Pileated Snagret: Really? Well then, enlighten us.

Glint: As you wish... Prepare yourselves... FOR EXTREME PWNAGE! But first... I ask that you turn around.

Pileated Snagret: *turns around with Segmented Crawbster*

Glint: FOOLS! WHILE YOU TWO FALL FOR MY BRILLIANT TRAP OF MAKING YOU LOOK IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, I SHALL PASS BY WITHOUT NEEDING TO HAND OVER A TICKET BECAUSE YOU FOOLS FELL FOR THE BRILLIANCE OF MY TRAP! *runs*

Segmented Crawbster: *watches Glint run off* You know, I think we should let him in anyway. He'll make things more "interesting".

Pileated Snagret: Are you saying that a spider getting married to a Disco Ball isn't interesting?

Segmented Crawbster: Point.

Antenna Beetle: So... You're a Widow huh?

Widow Empress: Yup.

Antenna Beetle: So your husband died?

Widow Empress: Yup.

Antenna Beetle: How?

Widow Empress: Well, he ignored my warning about him eating pork, so he paid the price.

Antenna Beetle: You killed him over a slice of bacon!?

Widow Empress: Nah... But looking back, I probably should have, that pig looked delicious.

Antenna Beetle: You miss him at all?

Widow Empress: Are you kidding? I have so much space now that he kicked the bucket!

Bucket: *in tux* You know, kicking me isn't all fun and games. It hurts. A LOT.

Widow Empress: Besides, I always have my son... Where is he anyway?

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Ranging Bloyster: *in tux* Man, they have EVERYTHING here! Nachos, cake, donuts, soda, ice cream, chi- *is poked* Hey! *spins around and sees a Cloaking Burrow-Nit*

Cloaking Burrow-Nit: *in tux* *nose is outstreched. It has plenty of shiny nose rings and "BLING" covering it* Oh, hello!

Ranging Bloyster: What was that for!?

Cloaking Burrow-Nit:... Chicken sandwich?

Ranging Bloyster:... You poked me for a chicken sandwich?

Cloaking Burrow-Nit: What!? That's crazy. Why would I do that?

Ranging Bloyster: Alright... Well, my name is Ranging Bloyster, who are you?

Cloaking Burrow-Nit: I'm... Uhh.... My name is... Uhh.... DON'T TELL ME!

Ranging Bloyster: Hi DON'T TELL ME!, how are you today?

Honeywisp: *in tux (Got you again!)**In dress* *floats over* Lokin, you know better than to talk to giant blobby strangers!

Lokin:... There is cheese in my goat?

Honeywisp: Why don't you go over there and eat some food?

Lokin: As long as you care for my goat... *tries to walk up to the food bar, but his nose keeps ramming into the table*

Ranging Bloyster: *was staring at Honey with mouth open**snaps out of it* So... What's up with him?

Honeywisp: Oh, well, you see, a few years ago he had a serious accident that went something like this...

-FLASH-

Lokin: *is going around the Wistful Wild, his nose is normal* Poke! *pokes something* Poke! *pokes something*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: Listen here sonny, most people don't like getting poked by that big nose of yer's.

Lokin:... Huh. *poke*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: I'm warning'ya sonny! You don't want to get ranted at, especially by me!

Lokin: Please, spare me Wallace-Wanna-Be. *pokes*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: GRR... Back in my day, we didn't have noses. Heck, even nowadays we don't got ourselves noses. Why? Why would a frog need to sniff stuff anyway? Huh? WHY!? It doesn't make sense! Back in my day, if something didn't make sense, it was stoned to death, because it was a witch. Nowadays, you got witches running everything in the world, and then they didn't even know that back in my day that they were stupid, and that in this day they are still stupid! Why, I've been able to get around everywhere just fine without noses. Like in the great Pikmin battle of seventy-twelve-ninety-two. Course, back in those days, the Pikmin were'nt even around, 'twas an infestation of mutant cucumbers who would not stop 'till world domination was theirs. And I fought in that war, and we won, and this is how the kids nowadays pay honor us? Back in my day, you'd get slapped for doing that! No respect I tell ya, no respect at all...

Lokin:... How do you talk without a mouth, old man? *pokes*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: Why, do you know what you just did sonny? You put me over the edge you did. And I don't got no parachute, do you? Now, this edge is kinda rocky too, and being pushed over it sure isn't pleasant. So, since you just pushed me over the edge, I can only hope for a flock of flying ducks to break my fall. Of course, back in my day, we didn't hunt ducks. Nope, we hunted flying dogs... And they had sharp teeth, evil claws, and tasty jellybeans... OF DOOM! And we had to get the ducks to hunt down the dogs and we used special water powered flamethrowers to destroy them. Then, the ducks betrayed us, and the remainder of the dog army laughed at us as we missed when we tried to shoot them down. Finally however, we shot them all down and we rejoiced and all, so the odds of being caught by a flock of them would be pretty low. Now, flying mongooses.... Those little critters are another story alltogether.

Lokin: ... Poke. *pokes*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: That's it you little poking poker of pokiness!

Lokin: *extends nose to poke*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: *jumps in the air and lands on Lokin's nose, crushing it*

-FLASH-

Honeywisp: When Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins landed on Lokin's nose, not only did he crush the bones causing it to be permanently extended, but he gave Lokin a serious concussion, which resulted in a strange case of amnesia that goes on and off. So it's my job to look after him and make sure he doesn't get himself killed.

Ranging Bloyster: Say, that's tragic. Will you go out with me?

Honeywisp:... Sure! Under one condition...

Ranging Bloyster: And what's that?

Honeywisp: Since I spend almost all of my time looking after the guy... Can you look after Lokin for the rest of the day, so I can get some rest? If he's fine when I get back, sure.

Ranging Bloyster: That's all? That's easy! You can count on me!

Lokin: Me plus you equals seventy-two!

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Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins:*in tux* I tell ya sonny, you have it good you know. Back in my day, everyone always started their huge rants with the exact same line: "Back in my day, ...". I tell ya kid, rants were boring back then, and they served no purpose! At least now you guys got variety, like chocolate-frog flavored rants at half-price! And where has the honor for ranting gone!? Down the drain I say! DOWN TO THE BOTTOM! And as if that wasn't bad enough, some crocodile found it, ate it, then some hunter who wouldn't stop saying "CRIKEY!" found the croc, killed it, and stole the honor. You see, that's the problem with culture nowadays, you think people who shove their head in a croc's mouth is cool. Well, I'm here to say it's only cool IF the croc closes his mouth on the unsuspecting idiot and tears him to pieces! Like the other day, I was going to my daily ranting club with all the great ones, like Wallace and Cranky, and we been ranting it up like mad, saying right had a head cold and left was part of a government conspiracy to confuse people about which way to turn, when some little kid who thought he knew everything about ranting from some NScience Forum or something dumb like that. All that kid did though was complain about spam! Spam is awesome. Why, back in my day, spam was the symbol of manliness. The more you could take before you had to resort to drinking out of the toilet, the stronger you were. Heck, all the great ranters nowadays have a strict diet of spam, and if they fail to keep it up... Well, they lose their ranting powers! Yeah... I'm not nearly I as hot as I was way back when, because the missus said I'd have to keep down my spam level. Well, I turned to her and I says:"Listen here, if I don't get my spam, how do I rant? It's like a bird without gills, it just doesn't work. How's the bird supposed to fly if he has no spontaneous combusting materials on 'im?" Well, she just continued to spew out the same things over and over again, never changing her arguement or anything! That's the thing about being a great ranter, you have to be unique and bring up new points never brought up before. So kid, you feel like saying Nintendo stinks, you can go right ahead, but I tell you, if this was the old days, the only thing you'd have to keep you busy is a stick and a box!

Emperor Bulblax:*in tux* You mean an Atari?

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins:... Touche...

Emperor Bulblax:... Wait a second.... You're not my mommy! *runs away screaming*

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Titan Dweevil: Doodlebug! Where are the others?

Doodlebug: Huh?

Titan Dweevil: You said you knew people who could take the rest of the jobs!

Glint: WHILE YOU SCREAM AT MY LITTLE BROTHER, I SHALL RUN TO YOUR SECRET STASH OF SHINY STUFF AND STEAL ALL THAT I FIND BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BUSY YELLING AT DOODLE!!!! *runs off*

Doodlebug: Don't worry, they're on their way, infact... I think I see one of them!

Mitite: *in tux (I got you AGAIN! HA!)**in dress* Hello!

Pileated Snagret: *sniffs the air*... Who died in here and where is their will?

Segmented Crawbster: Listen, we don't have any faulty pipes or anything like that.

Mitite: *hands Segmented Crawbster ticket*

Segmented Crawbster: *holds ticket* NO!!! My claw has been contaminated by the ugly stench! SPARE ME! *runs into the bathroom*

Waterwraith: *climbs out of the pit again* He DOES know that that's the lady's room, right?

Pileated Snagret: I can't tell and I don't care.

Doodlebug: Mitite! You made it!

Mitite: Hi Doodle!

Titan Dweevil: *sniffs the air* Ugh... It smells so.... UNSHINY in here!

Doodlebug: You smell like the fart of a skunk who just ate rotting fish!

Mitite: Awww.... Thanks! ^_^

Titan Dweevil: Doodle... Is this supposed to be the other ringbearer?

Doodlebug: Yup ^_^

Titan Dweevil:... Ok. I'm going to go over there and look at more shiny stuff. *walks away*

Glint: *runs up to Doodlebug holding a GIANT bag* Ha! Ninjitsu PWNS once more!

Doodlebug: What's in the bag?

Glint: Oh, nothing much.

Bag: *in tux* *voice from inside* Quickly! Tell the other transformers that their leader, Optimus Prime, has been captured by a small golden beetle who won't stop screaming!

Glint: *looks at Mitite* Who's that Doodle?

Doodlebug: Mitite.

Glint: Wait... Don't tell me... She's your girlfriend! You and Mitite, sitting in a tree, K-I-S.... Uhh.... C-Q-I-B-R-B-I-N-G!

Doodlebug: Oh shut up Glint, at least I have one.

Glint: Oh please, I could get one anytime I wanted to!

Doodlebug: Does that include last time?

-FLASH-

Glint: *looks at an Iridescent Flint Beetle* Hey Doodlebug, check out the master.

Doodlebug: Uh-huh...

Glint: *clears throat* BEHOLD!! I SHALL WALK ACROSS THIS GENERAL AREA, UP TO THE IRIDESCENT FLINT BEETLE, AND USE ONE OF THE GREAT PICK-UP LINES KNOWN ONLY TO NINJAS TO GET HER PHONE NUMBER TO IMPRESS MY FRIENDS!

Velociraptors: *were still extinct then*

Glint: *looks around* Hey, where'd she go?

-FLASH-

Glint:... That was my identical twin brother.

Segmented Crawbster: *walks back next to Pileated Snagret* *has a huge bruise on the side of his face*

Pileated Snagret: *grinning* How'd it go?

Segmented Crawbster:...... The Mamuta Convention is in town.

Pileated Snagret: Ah.. That must stink...

Segmented Crawbster: Nah, it's alright... I saved you an arm *pulls out a bloody Mamuta arm*.

Pileated Snagret: O_O;;;

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Lokin: So... That book is pretty big eh?

Kophio: Yes it is... *is still reading through it*

Lokin: Say... Does it have any info on what that juice is that flies out of a Pikmin when you spear it with a nose?

Kophio: I don't think so. What you might be seeing, however, might be an optical illusion created by your nose, because it is very red at the tip.

Lokin:... I understand the reason why it is critical to think, but I don't think that includes controlling bodily functions.

Kophio: Well, some bodily functions are automatic. Like peristalsis and the beating of the heart.

Ranging Bloyster: Say Lokin, what's up with all those nose piercings?

Lokin: Oh, these? These are to balance my nose, so it doesn't sag along the floor and fall off, causing me to bleed to death. Cool, huh?

Ranging Bloyster: (It's like a freaking spammer convention...)

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BL: Hey... You is the old hag I beated!

Widow Empress: *turns around*... You.... You're that little punk who won the tournament!

BL: Yeah, I totally PWNs you! ^_^

Widow Empress: Really? Let's see you beat THIS! *starts rolling toward BL*

Boulder: *in tux* *falls from the cieling and lands on Widow's head*

Widow Empress: _ Ouch...

BL: I PWN! ^_^ *notices something in the ground* What are that... *brushes off the dirt of a plaque*

Plaque: *in tux* "This room is built under the exact area where the Battle of the Bosses Stadium once stood, and is dedicated not only to that, but to the three that kept it living for 8 months: GHOSTPIKMIN, DRASLUSHEE, and BIGGORON_2000. May the spirit of beating the tar out of our comrades live on throughout the ages."

BL:... That can't be good...

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Raging Long-Legs: So... Have we got all the tickets back?

Pileated Snagret: Not quite... We're still missing just one...

Raging Long-Legs: Well, the reader is getting a little impacient, so it would be nice to wrap it up.

Segmented Crawbster: The who?

Raging Long-Legs: Nobody.

*A "Long-Legs" walks up to them. He has a slightly smaller head than Raging, has a huge afro, and is wearing a disco suit. He also has the abbility to walk on just two feet and use the others as arms*

Dancing Long-Limbs: 'EY! What's happinin'? I came to check out this gnarly party! My name's Dancing Long-Limbs! *hands ticket over*

Raging Long-Legs: Well, that should be the last of the-

Dancing Long-Limbs: Raging? Is that you? RADICAL!

Raging Long-Legs:... *sigh* Hi Dancing...

Segmented Crawbster: You know this guy?

Raging Long-Legs: I was his room mate back in college. I think they made a sitcom about it or something. But Dancing, what brings you to the wedding?

Dancing Long-Limbs: Like I'd miss my Disco Ball getting married!

Pileated Snagret: *spits out Coke* WHAT!?

Segmented Crawbster: *is covered in Coke* How'd you hold the can!?

Raging Long-Legs: Wait a minute... So you're Disco Ball's owner?

Dancing Long-Limbs: Yup... I would still be too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

Raging Long-Legs: Don't tell me you're still into that whole "Solving Mysteries" thing...

Dancing Long-Limbs: HEY! If Scooby and the Gang can do it, so can I!. Anyway, these two kids stole Disco Ball from me. One of them wouldn't stop screaming, and the other had bad gas.

------------------------------------------------

Giant Breadbug: Kophio! How's progress?

Kophio: Excellent! The cake will not only be healthy, but tasty!

Giant Breadbug: Say, what happened to your accent?

Kophio: Huh? I dunno, when I start to read the book suddenly I lost it. Either that, or the author was too lazy to keep typing in the accent.

Giant Breadbug: Well, at least everyone can understand you now. *turns around and sees Antenna Beetle talking with Widow Empress*... Urgh... My ... Uhh...

*In Giant Breadbug's head*

"Anger": *opens door* Hello?

"Jealousy": Hi. I'm "Jealousy".

"Anger": That's lovely.

"Jealousy": Hey, why do YOU get a chair!? *walks in and sits down in "Anger"'s chair*

"Revenge": Hey. I'm "Revenge".

"Anger": Nice to meet you.

"Revenge": You do realise that Antenna Beetle called you a wuss.

"Anger": He DID!?

"Revenge": Yup. We should all totally kill him for that.

"Hope": Waaaaiiiit a minute.... How do we know that you two aren't related to that maniac "Love" that we killed two days ago?

"Revenge": You see, unlike him, we actually practice what we preach. He was all about kindness but killed all of you, we're all about killing anyone who gets in our way, and that's what we do.

"Hunger": He's got a good point.

"Anger": You'd think "Love" had a good point if he offered you a cheeseburger.

"Hunger": Yeah, you're right. *Takes bite out of cheeseburger*

"Hope": ALL SYSTEMS..... FULL POWER! *hits "Beserk Switch"*

*back*

Giant Breadbug: BESERK MODE ACTIVATED. STORING ENERGY... *sleeps*

-------------------------------------------------

Ranging Bloyster: Lokin... What's up with that name anyway? Why can't people just call you "Cloaking Burrow-Nit"?

Lokin: ... The pencil sleeps only when the cow howls at midnight.

Ranging Bloyster:... Oh, it's because you're too stupid to remember all the syllables in your name... What about you Kophio?

Kophio: Well, I had two choices: Being called something original or being called something stupid like Breadbug#1000. There are tons and tons of Breadbugs, so everyone would probably forget what my name was and I'd be lost in the crowd. So, I went with an original name too. *sniffs the air* If you excuse me, I believe my carbs are ready. *runs off*

Lokin: STORY TIME!

Ranging Bloyster:... What!?

Lokin: Story time! I want story!

Ranging Bloyster: Kid, I don't have a-

Lokin: Story time NOW! ME WANT STORY!

Ranging Bloyster: Once upon a time there was a cabbage, a goat, and a wolf. Now, there was also this farmer who was their bestest friend. Now, one day while following Farmer, they came across a river and a boat that could only have two of them at the same time. So, Farmer had to come up with a way to get everyone across the river at once. But then, of course, and alien crashed at that spot and killed them all instantly. This alien hungered for cheese, and she wanted lots and lots of it. So, she flew over to Wisconsin and married a slice of swiss cheese. But this was no ordinary slice of swiss cheese, for every night he went through a startling tranformation and turned into LAWYER DUDE! Lawyer dude fought every night for lack of logic and stuff, that is, until he came across a case where some mutant carrots from a power plant broke loose and were terrorizing a town. Instead of healping out the creatures that were getting killed, ignorant Lawyer Dude only cared to see one side of any story and since the mutant carrots looked cuter than the rest, Lawyer Dude deemed that side to be the right side and aided them in killing off all the other species of the world. Then the mutant carrots turned on Lawyer Dude and only then did he realise how incredibly stupid he was. Of course, he never had time to apologize because he was killed off shortly after. THE END.

Lokin:... Wow.... That story was AMAZING!

Ranging Bloyster: Thanks, I made it myself.

Lokin:... I WANT SEQUEL!

Raging Long-Legs: So Titan... How much longer 'till the actual ceremony starts?

Titan Dweevil: Oh, only about three scenes from now, give or take a few.

Raging Long-Legs: Oh, ok... We have all the positions filled, right?

Titan Dweevil: Yup... We have everything.

Raging Long-Legs:.. Alright then. What are we supposed to do until then?

Titan Dweevil: I don't know... Maybe watch some TV or something...

----------------------------------------------

Breadbugs: *are gathered around big screen TV*

Dancing Long-Limbs: What are you guys watching?

Breadbugs: This really old Sitcom...

"The Raging and Dancing Sitcom!"

Raging Long-Legs: YOU BURNED DOWN OUR APARTMENT!?

Dancing Long-Limbs: Tubular!

Generic Audience: *laughs*

Raging Long-Legs: What about all my Nintendo stuff?

Dancing Long-Limbs: Oh, don't worry, I sold all of it.

Raging Long-Legs: For what?

Dancing Long-Limbs: For an afro for you! *Hands Raging Long-Legs an afro*

Generic Audience: *laughs*

Raging Long-Legs: And can someone shut this idiot up?

Generic Audience: *laughs*

Dancing Long-Limbs: We'll be back right after this commercial break!

Voice: Hey! Do you have a broken telephone? If so, be sure to call 1-800-BROKEN-PHONE so we can come over and fix it so you can keep in touch with all of your friends!

*back with the wedding*

BL: That are stupid.

Breadbug #87684: Really? I don't suppose you have anything better to watch, do you?

BL: *holds up video case* Yup, me gots the "New Year's Eve Boss Bash", complete with deleted scene! Me favorite show!

Raging Long-Legs: Huh... That sounds strangely familiar... Put it in and let's see it.

*the movie*

GP: ARE YOU READY!?!?

Audience: *cheers*

GP: Because we are!

White Pikmin: *walks up to GP and whispers* Umm... We're out of nachos...

GP: WHAT!? WE'RE OUT OF NACHOS!?

Audience: *silent* No nachos?

GP: Err... That's what I would say if he had the opposite amount of nachos that we have now! But... We're going to have to seal off the cafeteria during the fight.

Some loser in the audience: Why?

GP: *motions to security, who grab the guy and throw him out the door* As I was saying, time for the moment you have all been waiting for: THE NEW YEAR'S EVE BOSS BASH!!

Audience: YAY FOR POINTLESS VIOLENCE!!

GP: Bring in the bosses!

Ranging Bloyster: Please no pain... Please no pain...

Titan Dweevil: It's time to PWN baby!

Burrowing Snagret: Nothing's going to harm my precious beak this time around!

Raging Long-Legs and Beady Long-Legs: Prepare to be crushed by massive feet of your smelly DOOM!

Waterwraith: ROADKILL! YEAH!

MAL: (Preparing mass destruction mode)

Giant Breadbug: I'm not going to go down first!

Emperor Bulblax: See my grand adhesive tongue and TREMBLE!

Segmented Crawbster: This is going to be more fun than burning down a hospital! MUHUHAHAHAHAA!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Pileated Snagret: That was so not cool. Remind me to peck your insides out after I win.

Empress Bulblax: *asleep* 1 nacho... 2 nachos... 3 nachos...

GP: Ok, you guys know the rules! Nobody leaves until I see 11 bodies on the floor!

MAL: *shoots someone in the audience who falls over*

Titan Dweevil: Well... There's one...

GP: Ok, No one leaves until only one of you are standing! The winner receives a reward of a lifetime. The losers... Will be tended at a hospital run completely by DOODLEBUGS!

Giant Breadbug: Oh, just lovely.

GP: 3!

MAL: *loads gun*

GP: 2!

Waterwraith: *revs engine*

GP: 1!

Burrowing Snagret and Pileated Snagret: *burrow*

GP: FIGHT!!

*all the bosses rush into the center of the arena and get in a giant melee*

Segmented Crawbster: Hey Giant Loafbug! I'm going to get you back for what you did to me last tournament!

Giant Breadbug: HA! Good luck! I'm betting 17 bags of cupcakes I'll last longer than you!

Segmented Crawbster: You're on! *swings claw at Giant, who narrowly dodges it by jumping back*

Giant Breadbug: Whew, that wa-

Burrowing Snagret: *surfaces* WEEE! I get the first kill!

Giant Breadbug: AAHHH! * dodges Burrowing beak and jumps right next to the Empress, who is still asleep*

Giant Breadbug: It stinks being a weak boss...

Ranging Bloyster: You're telling me.

Giant Breadbug: *looks over the Empress and sees Ranging Bloyster* Hey, aren't you the guy who-

Ranging Bloyster: Yes.

Giant Breadbug: Ouch, that must've stung.

Ranging Bloyster: I've been having nightmares of it ever since. But, lucky for me, fatso over here is asleep.

Giant Breadbug: (or is she?... Heh heh heh... What an idiot!) *shoves against the Empress*

Empress Bulblax: Hee hee... That tickles! *rolls over Ranging Bloyster*

Ranging Bloyster: AUGH! NOT AGAIN!

GP: OUCH! Ranging Bloyster just got PWNED!

MAL: *is shooting like nuts* (Must eradicate all competitors and win grand prize)

Waterwraith: AHH! *dodges blast from MAL* HEY! *dodges another, and three more* *looking back at MAL* NYAH NYAH! MISSED ME! *while he isn't looking, gets stomped on by Raging Long-Legs*

GP: Oh man, that's gonna leave a mark in the morning!

Burrowing Snagret: *underground* Ugh... How much longer do I have to wait?

Pileated Snagret: *also underground* Wait, I think I heard GP said that there are only 2 guys left!

Burrowing Snagret: Wait, you're just trying to get me to surface so I get PWNed!

Pileated Snagret: Look for yourself if you don't believe me.

Burrowing Snagret: Fine, I will! *surfaces* *gets face blown off by Titan*

Pileated Snagret: Ha! What a complete idiot!

GP: Well, seems Burrowing just got his new beak blown to bits...

Burrowing Snagret: My beak! NO! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAK!

Pileated Snagret: *surfaces* I just had to see your stupidity with my own eyes. HAHA!

Beady Long-Legs: *foot slams fight in front of Pileated's face* DRATS! I missed him!

Pileated Snagret: Dude, you really need to work on your memory. *stands up fully and stabs beak through Beady's orb*

Beady Long-Legs: GAH!! NOT AGAIN!!

Titan Dweevil: HA! You're the idiot who couldn't beat Lardo in the finals!

Pileated Snagret: Err.... Which one?

Titan Dweevil: Good point.... WAIT! That doesn't matter! Prepare to be deep-roasted! *fires flare cannon*

Pileated Snagret: MEEP! *dives underground and the blast hits Raging Long-Legs*

Titan Dweevil: Oh well, I still PWNed something.

Emperor Bulblax: *charging at Segmented Crawbster* HA! Now you will now my wrath!

Segmented Crawbster: Please, you make this too easy. *rolls into a ball and runs over the Emperor*

Emperor Bulblax: Drat. I knew I should've gotten that insurance.

Segmented Crawbster: What insurance?

Aflac Duck: Aflac.

Segmented Crawbster: Who said that?

Aflac Duck: Aflac.

Segmented Crawbster: *spins around* What are you!?

Aflac Duck: *jumps on Crawbster's face* AFLAC!!

Segmented Crawbster: GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!! AHHH!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF LIFE! AHHH!! *rolls into a ball and into a wall*

Empress Bulblax: *eyes open* WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY BEAUTY SLEEP!?

Segmented Crawbster: Is that what she calls it?

Empress Bulblax: RAAARR! YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE! *starts rolling toward Crawbster*

Segmented Crawbster: AWW poopie... *is run over*

Giant Breadbug: HA! You owe me 17 bags of cupcakes!

Segmented Crawbster: You would've freaked out too if you saw the eyes of that duck... Oh man... Those were the eyes of a stone-cold killer...

Draslushee: Hello GP.

GP: Yo!

Draslushee: How's the fights going?

GP: AWESOME! The crowd loves it!

Draslushee: GRRR.... YOU WILL PAY!

GP: Huh?

Draslushee: You turned the crowd against Titan Dweevil! You shall pay!

GP: Oh, I'm shaking in my boots... SECURITY!!

Security Piks: *run right behind GP* YES SIR!

Draslushee: Your pathetic group of Pikmin is no match for a Dragon!

Dragon: *appears* Rawr.

Security Piks: Well, it's been a pleasure working for you sir. *run*

GP: Oh... Great... And I just bought this pair of underwear too!

Draslushee: VIVA LA DWEEVIL! DESTROY THE NON-BELIEVER!

Dragon: *sends fireball flying at GP* Rawr.

GP: AHHH! *ducks, and the fireball hits Giant Breadbug*

Giant Toastbug: So stiff... Can't move... *falls over*

GP: Well, that's one of the mysteries of the universe solved...

Dragon: *is about to use fire breath again* Rawr.

White Pikmin: GP! Great news! We got the Nachos!

GP: YOU WERE AN HONORABLE PIK! *throws White Pikmin into Dragon's mouth*

White Pikmin: I knew I should have worked at Chucky Cheese's!

Dragon: *starts choking on White Pikmin and falls over* Rawr.

Draslushee: ERGH... Round one goes to you... But this is far from over! *throws smoke screen ball at GP's face*

GP: OUCH! That really hurt!

Draslushee: How's THAT for a dramatic exit? VIVA LA DWEEVIL!*vanishes*

GP: Great, now I think I have a bloody nose...

Doodlebug: *runs up* WAIT! That wasn't Dras, or a real Dragon!

GP: Really?

Draslushee: *reappears* LIES!

Doodlebug: It's really... *tears off Draslushee costume, revealing...*

Glint: GAH! Ninjitsu has failed me!... This time... I'll be back! *vanishes*

GP: And what was the Dragon?

Doodlebug: Your old computer that freezes whenever you try to save a chapter!

GP: ALAS! Why didn't I notice? But how did YOU know, Doodlebug?

Doodlebug: Well, that big guy over there helped me... *points*

Law Dragon: *Snarls*

GP: *turns white* ... Fun... All fun and games, right?

Law Dragon: *stomps on GP* ^_^ *flies away*

Titan Dweevil: Well well, it's time we finish this once and for all.

Empress Bulblax: Last time was a fluke.

Titan Dweevil: A LIKELY STORY! Prepare to be PWNED!

Empress Bulblax: *rolls into Titan's legs, tripping him, and hits a wall causing a boulder to fall on his face* Yep, I still got it.

Titan Dweevil: Are you kidding? I feel as fine as e-

MAL: *shoots Titan in the face*

Titan Dweevil: Ouch, MAL, you are so ne-

MAL: *shoots Titan in the face rapidly* (How's that for PWNZORS?)

Titan Dweevil: I shall be avenged!! *falls over*

Pileated Snagret: *pokes head through the surface* Woah! Was that Titan? I outlived Titan? SWEET! I knew I could do i-

MAL: *shoots Pileated in the face* (I have no time for stupid inspirational speeches. Be PWNed and be gone with you)

Pileated Snagret: Shoeboxes... I'm just as foolish as Burrowing... *falls over*

Empress Bulblax: Why, isn't this familiar. It seemed just like a few weeks ago when I wiped your face... err... orb across the floor! Read for another dose of pure, obese, PWNAGE?

MAL: (Bring it) *shoots Empress, but misses and shoots GP*

GP: AHHHHHH!!!! *goes flying through the wall*

Empress Bulblax: Nice shooting there! He had it coming!

MAL: (you're next giant worm)

*MAL shoots the Empress, who dodges and rams into a wall. MAL shoots the boulders before they can land on him*

MAL: (OH YEAH BABY! Bet you didn't see that one coming!)

* Empress tries to trip MAL, but MAL out-maneuvers her and gets behind her, and starts shooting, narrowly missing*

Empress Bulblax: It seems you've gotten stronger... Stronger than even Titan.

MAL: (I have analyzed all fight data. I will win)

Empress Bulblax: I'll be the one remembered as the greatest boss of the year, NOT YOU!!

*Empress let's larva out like crazy. They start swarming around MAL's legs*

MAL: (Don't get distracted you stupid robot! Shoot the worm!) (Must eradicate all creatures) (NO! It's a trick!) (Must laugh at idiots as the squirm in pain!) (Ok, maybe just a few of them... BUT ONLY A FEW! We HAVE to win this fight!) (Affirmative) *shoots larva*

Empress Bulblax: You're so predictable MAL. *rolls into MAL's legs*

MAL: (SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER NOW!) *shoots the Empress*

*Meanwhile, at the exact moment*

GP: (I can't believe that thing MAL shoot at me was enough to send me around the globe. I also can't believe I have enough breath to keep screaming the whole way!) -AHHHHHHHH!!!! *crashes through roof of the Arena and lands right on the Battlefield, causing a huge explosion and flash of light*

Audience: OOOOO.... Purdy Light....

GP: *gets up* I'm... Alive? I'M ALIVE!? YES! I'M ALIVE!!!

Empress Bulblax: *burps* Ugh... Can't... Must win... Nachos... *stops moving*

MAL: (Legs not operating correctly. Doom approaching) (Oh great, I would blame it on you, but I think this was GP's fault) (Affirmative) *falls over*

Audience: Hey, wait a second... WHO WON!?

GP: Gee... That's a tough one... *scratches head*

Audience: BOO! *throws boot at GP, knocking him out*

Bulborb Larva: *emerges from the wreckage and spots GP's body* *starts nibbling on GP's leg*

Audience: Awww... Hey, wait a second... That's the last thing standing! That has to be the winner!! *cheers*

Bulborb Larva: (I wonder what they're so happy about... oh well, this thing is tasty!) *continues nibbling*

*Biggoron_2000 looks around, then walks to the center of the arena and picks up GP's microphone*

Biggoron: Well then... Seeing how GP got hit with more then he could handle *pauses, pokes GP with a stick, then continues* I guess I'll be the one who says: BULBORB LARVA IS THE STRONGEST CREATURE OF 2004!

Audience: *cheers*

Biggoron: Bulborb Larva, your thoughts? *holds microphone to Bulborb Larva*

Bulborb Larva: *burps* *makes high pitch squeals* (I want to thank my Momma and everyone who supported me through birth!)

Audience: Awwww.... *cheers*

Biggoron: Well folks, Have a great night and an AWESOME NEW YEAR! See you all later... Or will I?

Audience: *cheers, then leaves*

Biggoron: Well then, you'll be getting the grand prize of not one, not two, but 2,005 Nacho Buffets, along with brand-spankin' new shiny weapons of PWNAGE! Have fun! ^_^

Bulborb Larva: (This is the happiest day of my life! Wait, technically, it's the first day of my life, so regardless of what happened it would be my happiest. So it could also be the worst day of my life too... It could be the everythingest day of my life! But then again, I'm betting that this will be the happiest day of my life for some time, well, at least until I forget it with my horrible memory that all babies have... So while I remember this day it will be the happiest day of my life!) ^_^

Biggoron: And as for the rest of you *stares at GP and all the bosses* The Doodlebugs will be here shortly to take you to their hospital. Have a happy coma during the New Year!!

*end movie*

BL: And that's the story of how I PWNed all of you! ^_^

Widow Empress: Was that... What we really were like back then?

Titan Dweevil: I feel... So unshiny...

Ranging Bloyster: Who directed that piece of junk anyway?

BL: GP, of course.

*All the bosses turn around and glare at GP*

GP: *in tux* *stops sipping punch* What? Oh come on guys, that was a long time ago-

Segmented Crawbster: DEATH TO THE EVIL ONE!

All bosses: YEAH! *start beating up GP*

--------------------------------------------------------

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: Say, you're the groom, right?

Titan Dweevil: Yeah, why?

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: Well sonny, you did a nice job decorating everything and anything at this wedding.

Titan Dweevil:... Thanks.

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: You see sonny, back in my day, it wasn't this easy setting up weddings. Why, back in my day, we didn't even have weddings! Nope, all we did was sit back and watch as the world changed from red to blue to green to yellow to orange and watch at the sunset as the duck bombers of ninety-two bombed the cities. Yup, back then, we didn't have any of this whole rushing, crazy thing. Nowadays, when we did something, we not only did it right, but we actually made sure it wasn't left. I tell ya, left has been growing in popularity ever since the days of the cell-phone invasions... Man, those were dark times... You had all these pre-paid minutes and contracts, and there was this crazy thing called reception, and if you didn't have enough, you were disconnected.... A fate worse than death. Anyway, we fought the good fight against the cell-phones, but to no avail... They kept comming back... Stronger and smaller and IN COLOR! Oh... Those were not only the worst of times, but the prettiest and ugliest too. Comrades, left and right, gave up in their fight and bought cell-phones, which possesed them to follow the flow instead of thinking for themselves. Just like the salmon, I always say, who stupidly swim upstream to get eaten by bears! Now, if those guys could actually think for themselves, they wouldn't even go back near the bears to lay their eggs. Why, they'd just buy a few gernades and BLOW THEIR FREAKIN' HEADS OFF! But Nooooooooo.... We all have to do things your way! But maybe our way is better than your way! That's why weddings have changed so much over the years, with all the divorsing and all that jazz and hip-hop and classical... It's because we got the freedom of the choice! Now, you should be proud of that son, because you got all the shinies in the world, and you can do stuff now! Like drool! So yeah, have a nice wedding and all that stuff.

Titan Dweevil:.. *stares*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: You there sonny? *taps Titan Dweevil*

Titan Dweevil: *falls over* *is made of cardboard*

Old Man Wollywogwankersmiktokingmanjenkins: Ah, ok, I was just checking. As I was saying...

------------------------------------------------------------

Raging Long-Legs: Well Titan, I think it is finally time...

Titan Dweevil: It sure is... Except... Uhh... How exactly do these things work?

Raging Long-Legs:... I thought you said you had everything planned!

Titan Dweevil: Everything important!

Raging Long-Legs:... So only the shiny stuff?

Titan Dweevil: Duh.

Kophio: *Walks over* Hello... I couldn't help overhear your problem... And I think this book has a possible solution.... *hands book to Titan Dweevil*

Titan Dweevil: *reads*... How incredibly CHEESY! Where are the shinies?

Kophio: Well, you see, this is simply a guideline... You can change some things you know.

Raging Long-Legs: And all this stuff is in a Biology book?

Kophio: Hey, this thing costs like 500 bucks, I think they should put some extra things in it.

*time for the moment you've been waiting for, the big wedding! All the bosses file into another large room, with plenty of chairs (even though most of the bosses can't even sit down), and a altar at the front. Titan Dweevil is standing there, along with Raging Long-Legs. And the priest is, of course, Antenna Beetle.*

Pileated Snagret: *muttering to Segmented Crawbster* How much do you bet that this thing will end in a free for all?

Segmented Crawbster: If that's the case, your beak, and maybe a few toes.

*Mitite walks down the aisle and throws tin cans along the aisle. Unfortunately for everyone, she has fairly bad aim and most of the tin cans end up hitting the audience on their heads, causing them to lose focus and throw up because of the extreme stench.*

Dancing Long-Limbs: *whispering to Kophio* This is where I come in, right?

Kophio: Yup! You walk down the aisle along with Disco Ball and followed by Widow Empress.

Dancing Long-Limbs: Pfft, that's bogus. I'll show you the rad way!

*So Dancing Long-Limbs decides to moonwalk across the aisle instead. Once again, as luck would have it there were stull some tin cans on the aisle and, wouldn't you know it, he trips on one and looses his grip on Disco Ball, causing her to fly across the room. Antenna Beetle catches her, and sets her down on a small pillar next to Titan Dweevil*

*Of course, there was yet another miscalculation on their end... As the aisle wasn't nearly wide enough for Widow to squeeze through, so the five people closest to the aisle on both sides are crushed by her immense weight on her way across.*

*After all that, things start to go smoother. Of course, having Doodlebug and Mitite as the ringbearers wasn't a smart decision, as anyone who had a nose soon realised why having noses is such a bad thing.*

Antenna Beetle: *clears throat* We gather this day, to see the greatest event ever known.... PARTAY!!!

Velociraptors: *are extinct*

Antenna Beetle: Yeah... So anyway... Before we start, if anyone has any objections to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace. For like, forever. So you're gonna have to spend the rest of your life, looking back on this moment, saying "Man, I wished I stood up then, because I could've made life better for everyone I know!". But of course, being the spineless wimp you are, YOU SAID NOTHING! And you get to spend the rest of your life miserable!

MAL: *stands up*

Antenna Beetle: No one? Alright then, Titan Dweevil, do you accept-

Raging Long-Legs: Uhh, I think my brother has an objection.

Titan Dweevil: Don't be silly Raging, you heard the guy: "SPEAK now, or forever hold your peace.". MAL hasn't said anything, so he's fine with it.

MAL: *shoots Antenna Beetle*

Raging Long-Legs: Ok, NOW I think my brother has an objection.

MAL: *walks up to the altar*

Disco Ball: (YAY! I'm saved!)

Titan Dweevil: Uhh... Hey MAL! You mind, you know, taking a seat so we can get on with things?

MAL: *loads gun and aims at Titan Dweevil* (Oh come on, you can't really be that stupid)

Titan Dweevil: *loads Flare Cannon and aims at MAL* Well, maybe I am MAL. But we both know how this will end, just like in the old days, I'll PWN you.

MAL: (Yeah, sure you- Wait... You understood me!?)

Titan Dweevil: *sarcastic* No, I didn't understand you, I'm just talking to myself.

MAL: (But... Why... How....)

Titan Dweevil: Yeah, sure. So go ahead, have a seat, and think about how much I PWN you.

Raging Long-Legs: So... Anyone here want to tell me WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!?

Titan Dweevil: MAL here was just looking for the bathroom, I think.

Raging Long-Legs: Seriously Titan, we were all here for the past ten minutes. If you're gonna lie, actually be good at it.

Pileated Snagret: YEAH! LIKE ME!

Titan Dweevil: Hey, it's not my fault that-

Lokin: BORING!!!! Hey Ranging, how much longer 'till the party starts up again?

*everyone stares at Ranging*

Ranging Bloyster: *looks around nervously* Hello, person I have never met before. Would you like to not talk to me?

Lokin: But we already played that game!

Titan Dweevil: Can everyone here just SHUT U-

MAL: *shoots Titan Dweevil in the face* (BOOYAH!)

Titan Dweevil: *takes a step back, then looks at MAL* You didn't just do what I think you did.

MAL: (And if I did?)

Titan Dweevil: DIE!!

MAL: (AHHHH!!!!)

*They leap at each other and start firing all over the place like mad*

Dancing Long-Limbs: Hey, HEY! Guys, this is supposed to be a gnarly celebration dudes! We're supposed have fun, not war!

Doodlebug: Yeah!

Glint: Ninjitsu is about piece!

Dancing Long-Limbs: *stares at Doodlebug and Glint* You two... You're the little...

Doodlebug: Peace for all!

Dancing Long-Limbs: SCREW THAT! It's pay-back time, yo!

*And so, Dancing Long-Limbs and Doodlebug and Glint also get in a fight.*

Antenna Beetle: GUYS! C'mon, take a chill pill or something dudes!

Giant Breadbug: YEAH! CALL ME FAT WILL YA!?

Antenna Beetle: What the-

Giant Breadbug: *Tackles Antenna Beetle*