AN: Happy New Years. I hope all of you have a great 2018.

Here is the next chapter. I am adding a trigger warning for emotional abuse and mentions of the past death of a child(similar to chapter 6) as well as mentions of rape and abortion in the past.

CHAPTER 11

Hotch walked into the house carrying several grocery bags containing the items Emily had requested from the store in preparation for the team, except for Alex who was visiting her husband this weekend, to come over for dinner. He and Emily were planning to tell them everything that had happened in the events surrounding the death of the Ambassador.

It had been two busy weeks since the team had left on the urgent case with the missing children in IL. They had been successful in finding the all the children in a harvested field just as the sun was setting and the snow was starting to fall. And except for a few cases of dehydration and exposure all receiving clean bills of health. At least physically. The Bureau had worked with the local hospital to bring in more trauma counselors to evaluate the children and talk with parents.

Unfortunately, the storm delayed the team returning home until two days later.

As promised, Hotch and Emily sat down that night and most nights since after putting the kids to bed to talk. The first night, as expected, had been the most difficult for Emily to find a place to start. Hotch mostly listened, only interrupting to clarify something or to give reassurance however that first night he had asked her to pick something, no matter how small and go from there to help her get started.

Not surprising to him, she had started with the lies that her mother had been telling the family lawyers for years. Of all they learned, it was safest topic for her emotionally because it had not been a secret between them that Emily had been rebellious in her teens. Though he couldn't judge her when he had been rebellious as well until his parents had sent him to military school. Emily had been very open with him about she had gotten into partying, drinking and smoking as a way interact with classmates. She even told him about having tried weed a few times.

That all ended one night in Rome. She had attended a party with her one of her few friends, John. A couple of hours later she left the house in tears, her clothes torn and virginity ripped away. The person she thought was a friend stood by and did nothing to stop the unforgettable from happening to her by boys with whom John still wanted to continue being friends.

Weeks laters, her rising fears were confirmed by a stick with 2 pink lines staring back at her. Her one other remaining friend Matthew had noticed her despair and finally after he cornered her after school one day, she told him everything that had happened.

The next couple of months had been difficult as she dealt with the fall out. After Matthew's death, Emily had told Hotch that it was only because of Matthew's support that she made it through those months because she had felt attacked from every direction.

When the Ambassador confronted Emily about how her attitude and goth attire was reflecting poorly on the Ambassador, Emily hadn't had the energy the fight the decision her mother made that she was transferring to a boarding school back in the US. Emily had told him she had been afraid that her mother would have followed through with the threat to disown her regardless of the circumstances.

'Terrified of being alone with no resources in a foreign country wasn't something any 15yo should have to worry about.' Hotch thought as Emily told him the story. And given what they had learned about the Ambassador's feelings towards Emily, Hotch could now see that would have been a real possibility. Emily had explained to him she had been OK with being at school in the US because then if her mother found out and she was disowned, she would at least been in the States.

At her new school, Emily had put her whole focus into her academics, wanting to go to college and finally be out from under her mother's thumb.

The biggest regret she mentioned to him was leaving Matthew in Rome because he had been there for her when she had needed him. She knew he was struggling with his faith after witnessing the reactions Emily received to her predicament.

Based on the attorney's comments, Hotch wondered what exactly the Ambassador had told them about what happened in Rome. Emily did tell him that she had never shared with her mother about the rape, pregnancy or abortion. Had the Ambassador somehow found out what happened or had she made up a story about this part of Emily's life as well?

From her early days with the BAU, Hotch recognized that Emily overcompensated, profiling even in those early days that it stemmed from insecurities. Over the course of their relationship, he came to understand that those insecurities were based on events that occurred during her childhood. He hadn't truly appreciated everything that she had endured as a child until the last few weeks.

####

As Emily worked in the kitchen, she was trying to keep her nerves under control. Today they were going to tell the team everything that they had learned at the will reading. Aaron had reassured her that they didn't need to tell them anything unless she was ready.

However, now after talking through her feelings with Aaron over the last couple of weeks, she wanted to tell the team who were her closest friends what they had learned. She knew that all of them were worried about her. She could see the concern in their eyes each time she saw them.

After the team came back from the case in Peoria, she had made an effort to make short visits to the bullpen most days since Dave had pointed out that her absence had been noted and commented on to him.

However being unable to compartmentalizing her feelings was the reason she started to stay out of the bullpen and that had persisted.

Some days her emotions were closer to the surface because of the topics she was talking about with Aaron. Those were the days that she avoided the bullpen because she couldn't risk losing her focus in the office.

####

"Hotch, man, your daughter has strange taste in men." Morgan announced as he walked into the family room where Hotch, Will and Garcia were talking.

Hotch looked over at him confused. Generally he was good at predicting what people were going to say however his 6 month old daughter's tastes in men was not a topic he had anticipated being discussed for many years. He replied as he gave Morgan a pointed look, "Pardon me."

Morgan walked into the room and sat on the opposite couch before he said, "I just walked into the kitchen to say hi to everyone…"

Garcia giggled as she interjected "...filch some veggies and dip."

Morgan rolled his eyes before continuing, "Yes, I got a snack but I went in to say hi. When I took Natalie from Pretty Boy, she took one look at me and burst into tears and tried to throw herself out of my arms."

Hotch glared at him intently and asked slowly, "You didn't drop her did you?"

Hotch was almost positive that he hadn't because there would have been more commotion from the kitchen if Natalie was hurt. Though the best indicator was that Morgan was being jovial and calmly sitting in front of him.

All joking aside, Hotch knew that Morgan loved all the kids and would be devastated if he had been even tangentially been involved with one of them getting hurt.

Morgan held out his arms in front of him and waved his hands in front of him as he quickly answered, "No man! Are you kidding?! Princess would have already have killed me if I'd had dropped her."

The others chuckled at the accurate comment. "I tightened my hold on her so she wouldn't fall. And do you want to know what your daughter did." He stopped and waited for Hotch to shake his head. "She turned and next thing I know she landed a punch to my face. And let me tell you she has a decent right cross." As he finished he started to rub the right side of his jaw. Will and Garcia openly laughed at him.

Garcia looking quickly for little ears before saying, "Of course she does, she's a badass like her mom."

"What did Emily say?" Will asked, still laughing.

"Laughed her head off and told me to give her back to Reid." Morgan replied before pouting.

"What were they doing?" Hotch asked curiously.

Morgan mumbled as he rolled his eyes, "reading a book… again. Something about rhinos."

Everyone looked at him confused, wondering if Reid had brought over a new book with him when Will suddenly looked up and said, "The hippo book."

Hotch nodded his head, knowing Natalie's current obsession for this particular book well, "Derek, it was no competition. That's her favorite book." They had just gone out and purchased an extra copy of the book the earlier in the week after an hour of crying when they couldn't find it at bedtime one night. It turned out that it had been left in the car and had slid under a seat. They were trying to avoid a similar situation in the future.

Morgan sat back on the couch and crossed his arms in front of him as he grumbled, "But it's not just today" before adding indignantly, "Kids love me. Jack loves me. Henry loves me. Caitlin loves me. But Natalie, she likes Reid more than me."

Hotch sighed and then explained to him, "that's because every time Spencer's over, he reads to her. She loves books, especially that particular book."

When Emily had left the team, Reid had taken it especially hard. Even with still being in the BAU and having her office on the same floor, it was different. Not wanting to lose their friendship, they committed to meeting every week whether it be for coffee, lunch, or on occasion, a foreign film.

Spencer, after a couple of awkward visits, became a fixture in their home. He came over for dinner at least once a week. Many weekends, he and Emily would meet at a coffee shop close to her house for a couple of hours to just talk. The only rule they had was no work topics.

The kids loved Spencer's visits. Jack asked every visit for Spencer to show him magic tricks. Hotch and Emily has approved physics magic as long as he didn't show Jack how it was done and that Reid promised not to blow anything up and try really hard not to break anything.

With Natalie, although he had gained confidence with infants from Henry and Jack, he still was nervous with her when she cried. When she was about 3 months old, he started to read her a book when she was fussy and immediately it calmed her. And from that day on, every time Spencer visited, he read her at least one book though most of the time it was several.

Morgan looked up at him and chuckled before he said, "So what you're telling me is that your baby is already a nerd."

Hotch shook his head as he looked at the assembled group and said quietly, "Is that really so surprising?" They all shook their heads.

"A nerd who will kick your ass, Hot Stuff." Garcia said laughing followed by the others.

Morgan laughed back as he said, "isn't that the truth" and then looked thoughtful for a few minutes before returning to the previous topic, "but it's not just Reid. She loves Rossi too and Rossi isn't exactly a kid person." The group all nodded having witnessed Natalie crawl over to Rossi when he arrived so he'd pick her up.

Since coming out of retirement and back to the team, Rossi had been mostly hands off with all of the kids. He would ask about them, happily look at pictures and seemingly enjoyed hearing stories about them. However, whenever the team would have a get together with the families, he had limited his direct interactions with the kids. Nothing rude or dismissive but just gave off the vibe that he wasn't a kid person which everyone respected.

"True but somehow she's had him wrapped around her finger since day 1." Garcia answered softly, not wanting to bring up memories of those stressful days.

And it had been since day 1. The entire team had been surprised when they arrived at the hospital after Will called to let them know JJ was in labor with Caitlin to find an hours old Hotchner baby alone in the nursery. Inquiries with staff alerted them that there had been a complication with Emily and Hotch was at her bedside in the ICU.

Shortly after hearing that the team was at the hospital, Hotch came down and filled them in that after a quick but uneventful birth, Emily had been given a routine medication that she had explicitly requested not to have that resulted in a severe reaction.

Not wanting the baby to be alone in the nursery, Hotch talked to the hospital administrators demanding that the team be allowed to care for the newborn until he felt he could leave Emily for more than a few minutes which they immediately granted.

Meanwhile, Dave was arranging for JJ and Emily to get the VIP suite which included an individual room for each woman as well as a smaller bedroom where they had the boys sleep as well as a main gathering space.

After little Natalie was moved over to the suite, the nurse asked Dave, who just happened to be standing close by, to hold her as the staff was arranging the room.

When Hotch came to check in several hours later, he was surprised to hear from the others that it had been Dave who had been the one holding Natalie the whole time, rocking her in the chair in what would be Emily's room. He had repeatedly dismissed the others when they offered to take her. He had only asked for help with feeding her the first time.

"Yeah, she is the only one of the kids that I've seen him hold as a baby."

Hotch sighed. When he first took the profiling classes in preparation for applying for a position in was then the Behavioral Sciences Unit, he had heard rumors that Rossi had lost a child. Hotch didn't know if any of the rest of the team had heard the rumors and it wasn't his place to say anything. Rossi had never spoken of it so Hotch didn't even know if it was true. However Hotch had noticed Rossi had a painful look anytime they had a case with children particularly infants.

"Rainbow just adores him." Garcia gushed. No one had missed the smiles they both had when Natalie had noticed his arrival.

Morgan sat back on the couch, crossing his arms across his chest before mumbling, "like I said, she has strange taste in men."

####

It was after dinner and everyone was starting to gather in the family room. The kids were all being tucked into bed.

As the evening progressed, Hotch could feel the tension radiating off of Emily. It was not surprising she was getting ready to show substantial vulnerability by sharing the life-altering information that they had just recently learned. But she had confirmed earlier that she still wanted to tell them. These were her closest friends.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by raised voices in the dining room. As he walked into the room, he could see that everyone else had also come to see what had happened.

The scene in front of him was Garcia standing next to Emily and JJ with her hand over her mouth. JJ had tears in her eyes and was shocked into silence. Emily appeared flustered and upset and was looking down at the floor in front of her. When Garcia reached out and touched her arm, Emily looked up at her surprised and then noticed the others who had quietly entered the room. She looked wildly around the room as she blushed, embarrassed at her outburst. She then quickly mumbled an apology, walked out of the room and before anyone could stop her, she grabbed her coat and walked out the front door.

After he watched his wife disappear out the door, Hotch walked over to where JJ and Garcia were still standing and asked, "JJ, what happened?"

JJ turned to look at him, looking stunned and the tears still in her eyes. "I don't know Hotch. We were talking about needing to wash the cover on Henry's carseat. I totally forgot about it until we went out to get the bag before put the kids to bed. Will and I noticed when we got here that he got mud all over it from the park today. I just mentioned as we were coming downstairs that I was going to go out and change the strap height on Caitlin's seat and put him in that on the way home and move Caitlin to the seat that Natalie uses in our car. The straps on Caitlin's seat just adjust much easier than the other seat." Hotch nodded as Jack had gotten mud on his carseat more than once at the park.

JJ looked at Garcia before she continued, "As I was saying that Emily just started to get more agitated. Then she just blurted out that I can't switch the kid's seats. And then she started rambling about accidents and blaming Caitlin if Henry gets hurt."

She stopped and looked at him directly in the eyes and said forcefully, "We would never do that Hotch. Why would Emily say that to me?" Will came up and stood behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He had a concerned look on his face as he looked at Hotch.

Hotch reached out and took her hand as he said, "I'm sorry JJ. I know you wouldn't and so does Emily?"

"Then why would she say that?" JJ barks back at him as she turned.

Hotch sighed, understanding why JJ was confused and upset. "It has to do why we asked all of you to come over tonight. Let's all go sit down in the family room and I'll explain." he said, gesturing to everyone to join him in the family room. He didn't want to tell the team this story without Emily but he couldn't let them leave with explaining the context of what happened. He didn't want this incident to adversely affect Emily and JJ's close bond.

As the team was getting settled in the family room, Hotch''s phone buzzed with a message from Emily that she was OK and was just going to go for a walk to clear her head.

Putting his phone back in his pocket, he looked at the team and started explaining. "As all of you know when we went to the will reading for the Ambassador, we found out about some information we hadn't been expecting. The relevant piece to what just happened is Emily found out some of the circumstances about how her brother died."

Everyone looked back at him in shock. The reaction wasn't surprising. Emily didn't like to talk about her brother. Hotch didn't know until shortly after they moved in together and he saw a picture of the two of them and asked.

JJ broke the silence by asking, "Emily had a brother? She has never mentioned him."

Spencer shook his head after being in deep contemplation for the previous couple of minutes as if he had been cataloguing every conversation he had ever had with Emily.

Hotch nodded and said, "she was 3 when he died. He was 6. I'm not sure exactly how much she remembers about him. From our talks it seems to be just random bits and pieces." The team nodded, agreeing that at 3, she won't have the same recall than if she had been older.

Hotch then continued, "the day he died, Emily was sick and stayed home while her brother went to school. At the end of the day on the way home, the driver for some reason that wasn't mentioned to us had him sitting in Emily's seat. There was an accident and her brother was killed." There were several gasps from the team and a look of recognition came across JJ's face, now realizing what Emily's outburst was about earlier.

"According to her stepfather, the Ambassador held a grudge against Emily after that because her son was killed because he was sitting in the seat Emily should have been sitting in." Hotch stopped and sat down and watched as the group took in what he had just said.

Morgan looked around at the group before he blurted out. "Wait, are you saying that she blamed Emily for his death?"

Hotch nodded his head before sadly answering, "Yes but Emily didn't know that the Ambassador blamed her until recently."

Morgan stood up and started pacing. He was devastated at what he was hearing that his former partner had experienced this loss. For him, the story hit too close to home.

He had been in the car when he saw he own father killed when he was 10. He didn't realize until he was older just how important it had been in his grieving process to hear from his mom, older sisters and aunt that it wasn't his fault and how glad they were that he had stayed in the car until help arrived.

He was having a hard time processing that his friend had been, on some level, receiving the exact opposite message from her mother.

He stopped and looked at the group as Will said sharply, "She was 3. And had no control over being sick or where she sat in the car." JJ reached over and squeezed his hand as they shared a knowing look. This was the same age that Henry was now.

"That's what I told her. But it's worse than that." As Hotch said that, the assembled group all looked right at him wondering how this story could get worse.

Morgan shouted, "it gets worse than that?" before he started pacing again.

Hotch took a deep breath before he continued, "Yes He also mentioned that the Ambassador had wished that Emily was in the car that day."

"What? She wanted it to be Emily who was there when the accident happened? Knowing what the outcome likely would have been?" Spencer asked with disbelief.

"Yes."

"What kind of parent does that?" JJ asks angrily.

"According to her stepfather, Emily was the child the Ambassador never wanted."

"What?"

"Emily was adopted. Her brother wasn't."

With that statement, the room erupted into chaos.

AN: I hope to post the next chapter next week. After that the story will start to pick up. The adoption papers will make an appearance in chapter 13 which will have Hotch asking questions.