A/N: Fair warning, this chapter is a little hard to follow at times due to what's going on. The beginning is actually mildly trippy. I recommend reading until you figure out what's going on, then rereading so everything's more comprehensible. I'd give a tip to help during a straight read-through, but that might just make it more confusing if you don't know what's actually happening. Also, there's some mature content in this chapter. Gets kinda intense but not explicit.

Chapter 11: Transcendence

Ugh... can't see anything... are my optics fried?

Wait... optics? Get a grip... think...

I don't have any time to waste... I have to find Jack.

No... that's not right... that makes no sense...

Of course it does... Jack was right next to...

Arcee was right next to...

I've got to focus... got to find... Jack...

Arcee...

Jack?

I got the feeling that I was lost somewhere, even though I knew where I was. I was at the base... Hot Rod betrayed us... he become a decepticon.

How could he do that? After all we've been through together. I thought he loved me.

He didn't have a choice from the look of it.

There's always a choice!

I hurt so bad... felt like my heart was being ripped out... why did it hurt so much that he'd betrayed us? I never even lik-

Heart? I don't have a heart... I mean spa-

Why would I mean spark? I'm-

UGH! WHAT IS THIS? I CAN'T THINK!

Arcee?

I looked around, certain that I'd heard a voice, a confused voice. Jack's voice... but I couldn't stop thinking that I'd said something... that I was the one...

Where are you?

There he was again, I was asking... I mean he was asking for me... feeling helpless. I wanted to help her she seemed so... I mean he seemed so...

JACK! Jack... where are you? Please! I... I don't want to lose anyone else! Please... please be alive! I can't find you.

Clutching my head I tried to focus. I HAD to get my head on straight, Arcee sounded so terrified and confused. I could feel it in every fiber of my soul. If I couldn't think straight I wouldn't be able to help her. My fear for her, my fear for myself, my fear of being useless... all swarming in my head mounted an assault on my sanity and threatened to become abject terror.

Jack... Jack's so afraid... for me... afraid that he can't do anything... how can I feel...

Oh course I can feel it... why can I feel what sh...

I can't think... I can't think! I can't save-

Her. I'm useless...

I'm going to die alone... failing him...

Arcee! IF YOU'RE THERE HELP ME FIND YOU! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!

So afraid... I'm so... no that doesn't matter... HE'S afraid... I can't fail him... I WON'T FAIL HIM! I WON'T LOSE HIM! NOT HIM! NOT JACK!

I threw aside some rumble that had been pinning me down, but was too disoriented to notice that I hadn't actually been aware of it moments before or that the large piece of machinery seemed far lighter than it should have been. I could see again, but my optics were still adjusting. It wass if I was seeing the world for the first time. Climbing out from the light covering of debris I stumbled, my footing uncertain, and fell over like a newborn protoform fresh from the AllSpark. None of my servos felt right... I hadn't had that sensation since I was first reformatted to a smaller model.

I couldn't stop to think about that though. It felt like if I thought about anything other than finding Jack I'd fall unconscious and into delirium again. I just had to find...

...Arcee. She was all that mattered. It wasn't like I could help the others, I was only...

...one 'bot. No... I could help them... I'm sure I could, but Jack came first. He could give first aid to Ratchet, get him up and running and then we could work from there. Besides... it was...

…Arcee. She was the most important...

…thing it the world to me. I had to find him. I could feel him desperately digging through rubble trying to find me, just like I was. Wait...

… how could...

Suddenly I heard a coughing noise, Raf, and a beeping from Bumblebee reassuring the boy that he was still alive somehow. I rushed over and threw the debris pinning him down, "Bee, you have to help me find... Arcee."

The 'bot looked at me strangely, and shook his head as if trying to clear it.

I corrected myself, "I mean Jack. Something's wrong..." I stumbled, "She's so scared... I have to find Jack."

Stumbling on unfamiliar legs, I staggered into Bumblebee as he stood to help me regain my own footing. For a moment, before I lost consciousness again, I wondered why he was so much shorter than before.

Back in the darkness, I felt... alone. Very, very alone. The very thought of Jack dying trapped and afraid swirled around in my mind. I couldn't stand knowing that his last breaths might be spent worrying about me, scared that I was dying. I was terrified that there was no stopping it. For some reason though, it felt like he was chasing me, and I was chasing him. It felt like...

… it felt like if I just stopped and turned I'd find her...

"Jack?"

"Arcee!" I called out, overjoyed as she came into view.

"Where were you?" I looked into his eyes as he nearly cried in happiness.

"I was looking for you." I lost all self-control and embraced her.

I felt his arms around me... but it was strange. It was like I was perceiving it with all of my senses and more. It felt like he was holding my entire essence in his arms.

She was... somehow backing away from my accidental hug and moving further into it at the same time. Plus I was still... disoriented... it felt like I was doing it... like I was somehow on both sides.

It wasn't like I didn't want him to hold me. Actually, the fact that he was somehow holding me was almost too much for me to stand. I had to fight so hard to resist kissing him. It was like two overwhelming desires for the same act rolled into one mind, my mind.

I stopped thinking about it and kissed her.

I stopped fighting it and kissed him.

My actions were suddenly out of my hands as my hands moved across her body. I didn't even stop to marvel at how she was the same size as me. I could feel her hands exploring my own body with equal want...

… I was overcome by desires as I touched him, and was taken over by by that wanting... no, it was more of a need. I'd always had trouble dealing with my feelings when I got in certain moods but this was more than that... twice as pressing, as demanding. Nothing mattered... not being different, because suddenly it was like we weren't. Somehow... there was nothing keeping us apart. Nothing at all. We were free completely from the limits our bodies put between us and...

… I couldn't help but give in to the urge to take advantage. I kissed her again and again, all my desires unleashed and I explored every part of her with my lips... somehow everywhere at the same time... somehow her own lips caressing all that she desired to at the same time. Compelled to action rather than rationality, I pulled her close and held her tight. Slowly we came together and a rush of new feelings came up through my body and filled my chest...

… Slowly, the spark in my chest came together with his soul and another sensation came from my body itself as our bodies joined.

"AH!"

Carried away on a flood of sensations, of passions, I almost lost all semblance of coherent thought. We... were together in every sense of the word... I'd felt the merging of sparks before, but this... this was something different. Feelings and bodies entwined in impossible acts of pure emotion. It was as if the very things that made us living, feeling beings were making love.

Arcee's (completely lucid) Perspective

"Mmmm." I writhed a little, then jumped awake, panting as if waking from a very intense dream. One I couldn't make any sense at all of.

I looked around and noticed I was in a medlab. From the looks of it it was in the secondary base. A battered but functional Ratchet was at my bedside monitoring my condition, "Thank the AllSpark you're awake. I wasn't sure if your systems were going to overload or not."

He turned to the 'bots standing just outside the crude lab and motioned that they could come in. I was relieved to see that Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee were all there and that even though they were still mending were all able to get around. Raf and Miko were unharmed but emotionally drained, riding on the shoulders of their respective partners. There was someone missing though.

I sat up and started to get up, "Where's Jack?"

Ratchet pressed a hand to my shoulder and tried to force me back down. I didn't really notice how much force he was applying nor that I wasn't moving an inch, "Stay where you are... Please."

I complied, but looked to Optimus with concern in my eyes, "Where's Jack?"

He shook his head, "I am sorry. We have looked in the rubble for several days now. He is nowhere to be found."

Miko and Raf looked down at their feet, apparently having run out of tears to cry over it.

I shot to my feet, "I have to find him! He's not dead! He can't be dead!"

Suddenly, noticing the clamor next to me, I realized that Ratchet was on the floor. He'd tried to keep me down and apparently I'd stood up with enough force to throw him off me. More surprising was the fact I hadn't even felt him resist. It was then I noticed I was actually nearly halfway across the lab instead of next to my bed.

"How?"

Ratchet stood and, acting like he'd never been thrown down, strode the three steps back to the console and pulled up some readings, "You should look at this."

I was still dazed by what I'd apparently done. It was then, as I was looking around, that I noticed something else strange, "Um... why am I taller than Bumblebee?"

"I said you should look at this." Ratchet tapped the console, "These readings are your diagnostics and physical analysis."

"I see them. What do they mean? I not a-" I stopped... thinking I'd heard something.

Ratchet looked at me, studying me for any sign of collapse or malfunction, "Arcee?"

"I'm fine."
The medic pointed at various points on the display of a somewhat unfamiliar body, "Basically, you've been reformatted."

"What? You can do that here?"

He turned and looked at me with a very serious expression, "No. That's the point. You simply reformatted for no known reason. You weren't even near the Matrix when it happened since you were like this before I woke up Optimus. He was three rooms away."

It didn't make any sense, but it also didn't matter, "We'll deal with it later, Jack needs me."

Optimus stepped up and held me in place, which also doubled as catching me as I nearly launched myself into the nearest wall by accident, "Easy. You well know that you need time to adjust."

"I need Jack." I blurted out the admission in my distress. I felt a strange sensation near my optics and wiped it off. Looking at my finger... it was some kind of fluid. I had started tearing up, something transformers can't do. We physically can't cry.

Again, I thought a heard something at the edge of my perception.

Ratchet talked over it, "You're in no condition to do anything right now. You don't understand the magnitude of what's happened to you. This is a far greater change than when you were reformatted before. You were just weakened and sped up in that case."

I looked to him, "What's happened to me?" barely standing straight, my mind started getting really fuzzy.

"For one, that disorientation you're feeling is your cerebral processors being overclocked."

"What?"

"For some reason they are operating at double capacity. Half of it is just going in circles though. Sometimes it actually works against the other half. I've never seen anything like it."

"Alright... you said 'for one'. That's my mind, what's with my body?"

He pushed a few buttons, pulling up a set of specs I recognized as being from Optimus... I was stunned. Even without medic training I saw what he meant before he said anything, "You've been reformatted into a Prime. You're specs aren't quite up to the same level as Optimus, as he's a larger and more assault-oriented model. However you received almost the same upgrades as someone with your chassis would gain from taking on the Matrix of Leadership. Actually, as far as processor capacity goes, if you could use it all you'd have much more than any Prime."

"How is that even possible?"

"It shouldn't be. Perhaps the experimental protoform..."

"Nevermind." frustrated, and more than a little overwhelmed from everything going on (especially the fact I was suddenly prone to leaking fluids when I was sad), I pushed Optimus aside and marched awkwardly towards where I knew the groundbridge for the makeshift base was.

Bumblebee put Raf down and ran after me, grabbing my shoulder to keep me from the console, "You can't go in your condition. The 'cons might attack."

I threw his arm off of me, and almost off of him since I still didn't know my own strength, "Don't try and stop me. If Jack's there and the 'cons are watching it... I have to save him." A touch on my shoulder had me whipping around and batting at the source. "I said don't touch me!"

Bumblebee had actually backed up and was looking at me like I was insane. There was nobody within arms' reach of me. So I was suitably alarmed. Especially when I heard a familiar voice say, 'Arcee calm down.' and felt hands on my both my shoulders. I whipped around again and there was still no one there.

"Jack?" My head was... so...

I wanted to let her know I was okay and that I'd come to my senses, but she kept panicking... wait... I kept panicking.

Grabbing my head I called out, "Jack?"

Where was she? I couldn't see her anymore... my body wasn't working right. Trying to take a step I ended up spazzing out like a half-broken marionette and crashing into the ground, "Arcee?"

A room full of shocked and somewhat horrified expressions fell on me, "Why are you looking at me like that?" I stood up, "Didn't you hear him? Jack's here. I mean... I..."

I hit my knees and lost all control of my body, it was like someone else was trying to use it at the same time, then both of us started to panic. I cried out in confusion, and I heard Jack do the same. Ratchet rushed over, his face bearing an expression of resolve as he grabbed my thrashing body and stared straight into my frantic eyes... optics. "Arcee! Listen to me. I think I know how to fix this but you need to focus! Focus your mind and change into your vehicle mode!"

"Why are you calling me-" Jack said from somewhere.

"ASSUME VEHICLE MODE THIS INSTANT, SOLDIER!"

My training kicked in and I reflexively shifted into my motorcycle form. Something felt odd... different. More pressingly, it felt like something was under me. My mind suddenly clear, I quickly went back to robot mode, standing off of it in the same action. What had suddenly been under me surprised me, "Jack? How did-"

Jack was right there, trying to clear his head and fighting back the urge to throw up. Ratchet stood up with a grim and thoughtful expression. Bulkhead was the one to ask the important question and at the same time help clear up my own confusion, "How did Jack get in her robot mode?"

Miko, overjoyed that her friend was still alive, ran over and hugged Jack, "Who cares? I was inside yours once."

"But I have empty spaces. Did you see those readings? You don't have to be medic to see there weren't any holes."

Ratchet had gone back into the lab to grab a scanner, but on the way back explained his theory, "Perhaps the explosion caused a strange accident with her matter conversion systems, effectively converting him into energon." he scanned my head methodically, "Hm. That's odd, though not unexpected."

"What?" I asked, worried. He had only scanned what was equivalent to my brain after all. Well, my primary one at least.

"Your cerebral processors are back to standard parameters." he gave me that familiar 'doctor' look, "Apparently, young Jack was literally 'in your head'."

I froze, thinking about the delirium that had occurred after the explosion effectively merged me and Jack. The chaos of thoughts, mixed identities, and... the... Suddenly piecing everything together (and assuming the resulting mess was correct), I wasn't even entirely sure what to think or say. I glanced at Jack, who met my gaze. Both of us looked away, embarrassed. My mind dizzied itself with shame, guilt, and regret. I stood up too quickly in my alarm and ended up stumbling, nearly flying, backwards and to the ground, "Oh... right. Still reformatted."

"Arcee. Are you alright? Feeling any disorientation?" Ratchet did a more detailed scan.

I pushed him away, climbing very carefully to my feet and did my best to pretend my mistake had never happened, "I'm fine. Once I get used to these changes the 'cons will be getting a heaping helping of payback for putting us through this."

Ratchet, however, didn't seem to hear me. In fact, he was almost frantic in resuming his scan, then rescanned as he quite visibly didn't like the readings, "What in the AllSpark?"

"Um. Care to clarify? That's not a very good thing to hear about a scan of my body."

Jack got shakily to his feet and stepped forward with a look of concern. "Did I break something?"

Ratchet looked thoroughly perplexed, "Something must have gone wrong when you reverted. You're... missing some things."

"Missing things?" Bumblebee asked.

"What things?" I grabbed the scanner.

Ratchet elaborated, in a disturbingly calm manner, "In simple terms, you're missing the part that processes energon and all the systems for ingesting new energon. But the weird thing is, you've got extra parts in their place that I can't identify. They do something, but I don't know what. You also don't seem to need those missing parts anymore. I can't detect any decrease in your energy reserves. It makes no sense."

Optimus took in all the heaps of information in stride, clasping my shoulder in a small gestured of comfort, "Ratchet, devote every moment you can spare into figuring this out. Bulkhead, you have the unenviable job of helping Arcee get used to her new body, as you have one of the higher damage thresholds in the group."

"Oh goody," the weapons expert sighed, "What are you and Bee gonna be doing Optimus?"

His gaze narrowed, "We will be letting the Decepticons know we still live. They are most certainly preparing an assault on Earth under the false belief that we are dead. We must remind them there is still an Autobot line of defense."

Miko stepped up, "What should we do?"

Optimus looked at Jack, who was still wobbly and looked stretched far too thin emotionally, "Take care of each other and lend all the aid you normally would. Hard times are ahead and we will need your support know more than ever."

I couldn't bear to look at Jack in the eye and what glances I managed were met with mutual awkward deflection. He hated me, I was sure of it. I'd surely taken advantage of him in a moment of weakness and mind-sex or not, taken something very precious from him by stripping away the last bit of innocence he had left. I was dead certain that our partnership was over, or at least impossibly complicated.

I was only half right.

Next Chapter: Masterforce

Preview: The extent of the reformatting in explored, a new power is revealed, people angst over misunderstandings (seriously, you'd think all I know how to write is angst lol), and TALKING.

Again, you win a cookie if you get where I'm going with this and what this reformat is referencing.