The times you don't want to wake up
'Cause in your sleep it's never over when you give up
The sun is always going to rise up
You need to get up, gotta keep your head up
Look at the people all around you
The way you feel is something everybody goes through
Dark out, but you still gotta light up
You need to wake up, gotta keep your face up

-Face Up by Lights

Chapter Eleven

"Bella you need to calm down. You are going to hyperventilate." I couldn't tell if she could even hear me. Her eyes were unfocused, staring at the ceiling. Tears were streaming down her face. Seeing Bella like this again was unsettling. She continued to breathe heavily and her heart was racing. Esme quickly came back into the room with a glass of water and apple slices. My wife had the same concern that I did, that Bella was going to go into shock.

"Bella you need to have a sip of water. Can you do that?" I took the glass and brought it to her lips. I hoped that her reflexes would kick in and she would take a sip, but she was unresponsive to us. I frowned knowing what step I had to take next.

"Esme, can you grab my bag and pull out the tranquilizer." She sobbed but followed my request. I took the needle in hand and disinfected the injection site with a swab that Rosalie handed me. I hoped the sight of the needle would wake her up, but it had no affect on her. I leaned forward kissing her on the head before pricking her skin with the needle and injecting the medicine. It took affect quickly; her breathing calmed and her heart slowed. My family and I stood breathless, watching Bella slip into unconsciousness.

"I hope Emmett rips off Jasper's arm at the very least."

Esme sighed. "Me too."

I turned to her in shock. "Esme!"

"He should have known better. As if she hasn't been through enough."

I didn't feel like arguing with my family, but I couldn't hide the fact that I was extremely concerned. "Keep watch over her," I instructed quietly before leaving. I drudged down the hallway, feeling the weight of my years on my shoulders. I walked into my office and collapsed in my chair, slumping forward.

It had seemed like my family had been on the mend and that we were going to make it through this tragedy. But here we were, divided once more. I was watching my remaining family disintegrate and self-destruct. In a few short minutes my family had shifted from being united to divided. Even my loving, caring wife was ready to blame Jasper. I did not fault Rosalie and Esme for their responses. I had the first guttural reaction to what happened as well. However, they lost sight of all the pain and torture that Jasper had endured. Bella had a more stoic and silent way to deal with the pain that she had endured. We couldn't expect everybody to respond in the same way Bella had. I knew him better than that. Jasper just broke.

Jasper was different than my other 'children'. I had a father/child relationship with all of them, but Jasper. Jasper's age and maturity made it impossible to treat him like a son. I loved him dearly, but he was more of a companion or brother than a son. He and I had long discussions about philosophy and his past. What kind of soul does a vampire have? Are newborns doomed to be so out of control? Did Jasper have a choice to live another life when he was with Maria? I knew he did not open up to just anybody and I treasured each and every time he would come to me hesitantly to ask a question, but then would settle himself in a chair and we would not leave my office for hours. I knew he did not tell anybody else about his past in as much detail as he told me, not even Alice. I suspected he hadn't wanted to upset her. She knew where he had come from and most of his past. However, anytime it was discussed she would become upset. She hated what he had endured and suffered. She wished she could take the pain away. Jasper didn't want her to feel bad so he just opted to gloss over his past a little and tell her how well he was doing.

I jolted. Why the hell was I in here when I should be after Jasper? I shuttered to think if Emmett got a hold of Jasper for too long. I lept out the window and ran as fast as my legs would take me in the direction of Emmett's scent. Underneath Emmett's stronger smell there was a faint waft of Jasper. I pushed myself to go even faster when I heard a faint, unearthly wailing sound. I dodged the branches of the thick trees, not letting anything get in my way.

I finally came to the source of the sound. Jasper was on the ground, splayed out amongst broken pieces of tree. He was pulling at his hair and scratching at his face. Emmett was standing nearby, unsure of what to do.

"Emmett? What happened?"

Emmett's face was full of shock. "I don't know exactly. I found him standing here waiting for me. I think he wasn't even going to try to run from me. I didn't even think…" Emmett looked very sheepish. He paused before continuing. "I just started to attack him and then I threw him against the tree. He never fought back. Have you ever seen Jasper ignore an attack?"

I wanted to be mad at Emmett. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but all I could focus on was the broken man lying on the forest floor. I knew anger was not going to fix anything. I had to set the example for my family to bring them back together. I stepped past Emmett, patting him on the shoulder affectionately. I then moved forward. I got within a few feet of Jasper when he growled under his breath. Emmett responded without thinking by growling as well. I put up a hand to signal Emmett to stop.

"Jasper," I whispered as softly as possible, trying not to alarm Jasper.

He looked up and I balked. His face was chalky, not its usual smooth self. It was contorted in pain. His eyes burned my own with their intensity. "Stay back. I don't deserve any of your sympathy."

"I wasn't going to…" I tried to assure him but he interrupted me.

"I can feel it though. I can feel your emotions and I can't handle it. I don't deserve it."

I continued forward, ignoring Jasper's words and growls. I had to trust that Jasper would not hurt me. As I got closer and he didn't do anything, I got down onto the forest floor with him, scooting closer to him. Jasper continued to growl but I ignored him and leaned in, enclosing my arms around Jasper's upper body trying to restrain him from hurting himself. Jasper continued to cry out and moan. My heart broke for him and all the pain that he was emanating. I tried to keep my own emotions in check, not wanting to overwhelm him, but it was difficult. I really had no idea how to calm him. I wished Esme was there to help. But she wasn't so I had to do the best I could.

"Shh…Jasper. It will be okay. I love you," I murmured. I continued to spout as many comforting things as possible. I didn't know if they were even registering with him but it was the only thing I could do. I wondered what exactly had happened with Bella and Jasper. I had to admit that I had hoped that something would someday happen between them. I wanted them to find someone someday to make them happy and I thought that it could be each other as I witnessed them grow closer. Bella brought out a different side in Jasper that I had never seen. Jasper was more involved with the family. His control was stronger. He seemed more at peace, well other than today. I know he talked about his past with Bella which was a big step for him. As for Jasper's influence on Bella, I think it was positive. Bella was treated like an equal by Jasper and they had a fun relationship. I knew that Bella and Edward were in love, but sometimes I felt they had needed to act young. They were so serious all the time. It was nice to see Bella having fun, playing games, and being youthful.

Now I wondered if that had all been damaged beyond repair. I didn't know exactly what had happened, but my guess was they moved forward which freaked Jasper out. I could understand that. But I had to know in order to say for sure. Jasper was finally quieting down and I knew I had to ask him. I let go of my hold on him and leaned back so I was looking him in the face.

"Jasper what happened?"

"I don't know exactly. We were just having a conversation about her moving on someday and there was a moment between us. I felt out to her emotions and there was attraction for me. I don't know what got into me because the next thing I knew we were kissing. As the kiss continued I started to feel the burn in my throat and that brought me back down to earth. I remembered Alice all of a sudden on our wedding day and how I promised to be faithful to her. I couldn't stand the thought that so shortly after her death I was betraying her, with her best friend no less. I pushed her away and I said the first thing that came to mind."

"Oh Jasper." I didn't really know what to say. There was no easy solution to this situation. How many of us had gone through losing a spouse? Who was to say that it was too soon for Jasper, or Bella for that matter, to move on. "I have no easy answer for you Jasper. I can't say what is right or wrong, but this family would not think any less of any of you two if you did want to be together. Only you two can tell when you are ready to be with someone. Do you want to be with her?"

He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "I don't know. There is something special about her. I admit that, but I just don't know what my feelings are for her. I don't think she knows either."

"That sounds like a conversation you need to have then."

"But, I will be betraying Alice."

"Don't you remember what Alice told Bella to tell you? She said you needed to move on. She would have been happy to see you and Bella take care of each other if that is what makes you guys happy."

"I just can't. I am just going to hurt her. My control is still not perfect. And I won't always be able to protect her. I promised Alice that I would keep her safe and I failed her. I failed her so miserably," Jasper sobbed.

"Alice wouldn't let you protect her. And Bella isn't asking for you to keep her safe. You need to make peace with the past and try to live in the present. All I want for this family is to be at peace, all of us. We will never be 'over' the loss of Edward and Alice, but we have to come to terms with it and try to move on."

"What if Bella and I start something only to break up down the road? That would be so awkward for the family."

I sighed. I was exasperated with Jasper and I hoped he could feel it. "You can come up with a million reasons to not move on, but only you can decide if it is worth the risk. But to humor you, I will always be there to support both of you in whatever way I can, even if you break up."

"I will too," Emmett spoke up suddenly.

"You will?" Jasper couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice. Who could blame him after Emmett's recent display?

Emmett shuffled his feet, looking down briefly. "I will man. I'm so sorry for just going after you like that. You didn't deserve that. You have to understand though; it was just hard to see Bella in pain again, especially after we've all seen how far she has come from Edward's death."

"You were right to come after me for that. I shouldn't have hurt her like that."

"But, I should have thought things through and maybe thought about how you might be hurting as well."

I had to interrupt because this could go on for a long time. "Let's forget the blame and guilt. Instead let's go back to the house and actually make things better."

Jasper turned back to me and I felt a jolt of fear hit me. "Do you think she will even let me apologize?"

"You know Bella's limitless compassion. She will not only listen to you, I am one hundred percent sure she will forgive you." And I believed those words that I spoke. I was confident that Bella would not be able to refuse Jasper, especially after seeing the state that he currently was in. I stood up, motioning for Jasper to follow. "Let's go home."

And we did. We took off at a brisk run, heading back towards the house. Jasper eventually picked up his pace, probably anxious to see Bella. I pushed myself to keep up with him, but my mind was elsewhere. I was wondering what the future held for my family. Would Jasper and Bella be together? I actually took the time to visualize what shape their relationship would take. I had only seen them as friends. I couldn't lie to myself; it would be convenient if the two found companionship in each other. I would not have to worry about them being alone, while the rest of us were paired up. I tried to think about it critically, calculating whether they were compatible. I was so used to seeing the two with their respective mate; it was hard to imagine them in a different romantic relationship. But, Jasper's emotional depth would compliment Bella's limitless patience and kindness. I couldn't say for sure, but I felt that the two would be happy together.

A/N: This is one of my favorite chapters because Carlisle is my favorite character. I think he is just an amazing guy. That being said, it was hard to write this chapter from his perspective because I have such high expectations. I hope you guys enjoyed this and weren't too confused about the change in perspective. The rest of the story is in the normal Jasper and Bella perspectives. Also sorry this is a little short. It was initially attached to the next chapter, but I think that it stands alone well.

Thanks for all the amazing compliments on the story. It is flooring me that people like this story so much. I'm also glad people aren't upset with where I am taking the story. Please continue letting me know what you think.