~CHAPTER 11~

Kagome didn't… couldn't move. She was frozen paralyzed in a state of complete and utter dread. This simply wasn't happening.

For Kagome, it seemed that everyone good in her life had to be taken away in the most horrific, scarring way. The tragic death of her family, the nightmarish truth about Kouga, and now Inuyasha who was so different and new to her, was slipping into that category, too. Could she not keep anyone?

Miroku and Sango were speaking quickly, wildly, and so very loudly. Their ramblings were background noise as Kagome's panic tore through the numbness that locked her muscles immobile.

As she sat with her legs folded beneath her, she held Inuyasha; her arms locked around his shoulder and neck, while his torso lay across her thighs. His smoldering golden eyes hadn't strayed from her face since she caught him, and she could see the fight he was putting up to keep the fire in them burning. She too, willed them to flame on, dreading to see them turn dull and unseeing.

Without much thought, Kagome's hand found his. She barely registered that his was seeking hers as well. She grasped it tight, and he managed a clench so weak that it made her lips tremble in fear. Inuyasha was slipping from her grasp. The golden candles flickered in and out, the transition going quicker with each passing second. She was losing Inuyasha.

No!

And then she knew that her minute of shock was up, now was the time for action. There was no way in hell she would let him go so easily.

Not without me. Kagome thought, and was immediately brought up short for a millisecond at the strength and conviction of her words. She shook it off, regretting wasting even that time. She was placing Inuyasha onto the ground when he was rather forcefully pulled from her hands and hauled across Myouga and Miroku's shoulder.

They were trying to carry him away from her.

"To the toilet," Miroku said, "Maybe we could get him to throw it up."

"NO!" Kagome shouted.

Her doctor instincts—and another instinct that she couldn't really identify—were kicking into gear. Her mind spun, and she mentally flipped through all the knowledge she'd stored over the years like pages through a really long book. She stopped on Sawotabi.

"You can't move him. He needs to stay stable because it'll decrease the rate at which the Omega-3 fatty acids spread, and they already spread much too quickly. Those are what's poisoning him." she said half of that with grit teeth.

Before they could ask what they were supposed to do as an alternative, she was telling them.

"Put him back down, slowly." She said, and they complied.

She really did not feel like explaining, all she wanted to do was concentrate on her task, but she knew it would be unfair, not to mention selfish to keep them in the dark. Besides, they would keep asking questions while she worked anyway, which would probably be worse. So while she straightened Inuyasha out and checked his faint pulse, she explained.

"All fish contain a portion of Omega-3 fatty acids, and all fish, with the exception of one breed, are edible to demons and hanyou. That's because the acids are inactive in those fish. However, the Sawotabi also carry an enzyme called Numosuke which activate the Omega-3 acids and turn them into a deadly poison that attacks a youkai's youki." She said quickly.

Luckily, everyone seemed caught up enough for her to not have to repeat anything.

Kagome put her palms together and closed her eyes. She searched for the internal pink glow that she knew was there, waiting for her call whenever she needed them. Her aura, her miko powers, they would be of monumental assistance.

With great effort, she forced herself to be still and tranquil so she could coax the great pink orb into her hands. The energy was almost like a scared kitten; if she came at it with anything but gentleness, it would shy away and make it that much harder to attain. She concentrated hard, forcing back all her fear, anxiety, and regret that she hadn't learned more of her strength before her grandfather died so that calling upon her powers would be second nature.

"Kagome--" she heard Sango call anxiously since she'd been still for so long, and their friend was still slowly dying. But someone shushed her kindly, apparently aware of where she was going with this.

Finally! She got hold of the pink glow and the warmth suddenly enveloped her as if she were being submerged in water. She opened her eyes, and looked to her hands to find the pinkness swirl around them mystically, probably invisible to most humans.

Her voice was serene as she spoke, "Inuyasha is only half-demon so he has a greater chance of surviving. I can purify him, temporarily."

And then she placed her palms against the hanyou's chest, and he leapt as if she were shocking him out of a coma. She winced in sympathy when his face contorted in pain, and he screamed in agony as her hands burned his flesh.

I'm sorry, Inuyasha

With her eyes, she could now see the swirling vortexes of his youki suspended all around the prone hanyou's body. The activated Omega-3 acids were making them bleed a bright crimson, and vibrate rapidly in a way that made her dizzy. The swooshing sound of the swirls were irregular; loud, screeching, almost like an earthquake. They looked like portals that could suck her in at any moment to some kind of alternate dimension where the sun would be the color of blood.

The noise was unbearable, and the glaring color was blinding, but Kagome didn't let them distract her. She concentrated on his face. She continued to pour all the power she had into him. After an insufferable amount of time, the vortexes were dissipating; the noise thinned out to a high pitched whistle and the red orbs were fading away like wisps of smoke. Eventually, every loud, red, swirl was gone and she heard silence.

She heard collective gasps of awe as rich silver hair bled black, and those blank golden eyes faded to gray.

"Now that Inuyasha is human, the poison is harmless," She told them, taking deep, rejuvenating breaths "but I'm not sure if my miko powers are strong enough to keep him like this until he can get rid of the toxins naturally. We should make him throw it up so that when he turns back, there will be no more in his system."

None answered; they just stared back at her with wide-eyed expressions. Anxiety made it so she couldn't find it in herself to blush, though. They weren't completely out of the dark, yet.

Kagome sighed, and stood up, "I'm going to need help bringing him to the bathroom."

Miroku was the first to blink, "Of course"

He grabbed Inuyasha's arm and swung it around his shoulder and carried the groaning temporary human to the nearest bathroom, singlehandedly. Kagome and the others followed closely behind.

******

Inuyasha looked angelic when he slept. His long eyelashes gave him a boyish, deceiving appearance.

Kagome exhaled deeply for the first time in more than an hour. It was an exhale of relief and gratitude that her new greatest fear had not come to pass as she had feared it would. Inuyasha was still here, he was still breathing, he was not slipping away.

Kagome resisted the urge to grab his hand in hers, fearing he might wake up when he really needed the rest. In human form, hanyou should always rest so their bodies could catch up with all the energy exerted while in their stronger state. Inuyasha was not an exception, though she could imagine him begging to differ.

Myouga had gone back to the cockpit, and Miroku and Sango were cleaning the table and disposing of the fish that had caused all this mess. She'd adamantly refused leaving Inuyasha alone when they suggested she bathe and head to bed. Someone needed to be by his side when he woke up; someone just had to be there to make sure the movement in his chest didn't crawl to a stop.

Kagome put her head in her hands, rubbing her face gently. She honestly couldn't remember being so scared in her life.

Actually… there was one time. The time she came home to find police tape streaming across the border of her charred house.

Flashback

A young girl with a high ponytail ran with a soccer ball, passing it between each foot with an ease she acquired from her weeks away at camp.

With a grin on her face, she scuttled home, anxious to show her mother what she had learned and excited to teach her little brother how to handle a ball as skillfully as she could.

Eyes trained on the black and white ball, Kagome made it to the front of the steps of the Higurashi shrine by memory only to look up and find a black distorted mass where her home should be, and ashes littering the ground.

A soft wind carried them to her stinging eyes, and her precious ball rolled away, leaving her alone without her notice.

End Flashback

Kagome shook her head of the troublesome memory, and passed her hand through her hair, only to find it in a ponytail. That was odd, she didn't remember tying it. But hell, she didn't expect to remember insignificant little details like that with everything that had just happened.

She looked back to Inuyasha, and checked his chest again, almost startled to find it bare. She'd been looking at it constantly since they put him to rest, but this was the first time she'd actually taken notice to the firmness and depth of it.

She remembered during the very unpleasant experience of trying to make Inuyasha throw up, how he'd kept pushing the spoon out of his mouth, and turning his head away. Eventually, they were able to get him to throw up some questionable liquid, and kept at it until they were satisfied that he was Sawotabi free. He'd gotten some of the stuff on his shirt and sweats, so Miroku took them off him which explained why he was topless.

Kagome avoided going down the hentai road of her thoughts, and looked around his room. It was very ordinary with a bench-pressing station in one corner, a bookshelf in another, a wide closet with mirrors on the doors leaning against the wall facing his pretty Ginormous bed … and his Ginormous bed with two nightstands on either side. Those were the basic furnishings of his room. The set lighting was very dim, but there was an adjuster by the door that Kagome imagined he didn't often toy with. He also had beige carpet hugging the floors.

Sinking her tows into the softness, Kagome couldn't help but think it could get very cozy here.

*****

Holy shit, what the fuck was happening?

He felt as if he were suffocating, like a thick pillow was being heavily pressed onto his face, effectively clogging his nose, ears, and squeezing his lids shut.

This utterly defenseless, weak, and unfortunately familiarfeeling only meant one thing; he was human.

Ah, shit

But that couldn't be right. That bitch happened like two weeks ago, there was no way that tonight was the night of the new moon, already.

Okay, seriously, what the fuck was happening?

Inuyasha managed to detangle his thick, slick lashes enough to pry his eyes open. He groaned a pathetically humanized sound as light—despite being low—blinded him for a minute. As soon as his eyes adjusted, he saw her and then it clicked.

She was staring intently at him as she sat on his bed, beside him; her hair was in a sloppy bun and her petite frame was dressed in short pink pajama shorts with a matching camisole. She was chewing softly on her bottom lip. Radiant, sexy… of course.

He was dreaming.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd dreamt of himself as human, if ever, but it was of no consequence. Kagome was with him, there was no need to ask for anything else.

She gasped a little noticing that he was watching her, and he smirked. Yeah, he smirked, because earlier today he decided that he might as well enjoy these dreams since he'd never come close to the real thing. So what if it was perverse and disgusting. She was his mate. No one had more right than him to fantasize about fucking her.

Keh, scratch that, he thought, No one else had any right.

She smiled. "Hey" Her voice was filled with relief, oddly enough, and he could swear he saw her eyes mist over.

He reached for her, and his hand lightly brushed her cheek. He was a little taken aback when she blushed. His dream Kagome's were usually bold and only flushed after he thoroughly screwed their brains dead. But he had to admit, he liked that this one was blushing, it made her more authentic.

"Hey" he replied, and continued to stare at her with a look he knew made the real Kagome blush. It worked on this phantom, too.

"How are you feeling?" she asked gently, turning away from his hand.

He shrugged, odd question.

"I-I should go call the others--" he grabbed her wrist before she could rise off the side of his bed. She inhaled sharply. He smirked, again, like a cocky bastard.

Just like his Kagome.

"No, you should stay right here." He said.

She didn't answer, or maybe she couldn't. He full out smiled, and sat up in his bed. He actually hadn't realized that they were in his room, until now. His sheet fell down to his waist, exposing his naked chest to her.

She looked away quickly, her gaze fixed on where his hand scolded her wrist.

She licked her lips, he groaned involuntarily.

And then her head spun to the direction of the uncharacteristic sound, and her eyes widened comically as her throat visibly closed.

"Come here" was all the warning her gave before he yanked her body close.

The pull was meant to bring her into a straddle across him, but at the last minute she stabilized herself enough to have her land on her knees beside his hip. Her hands locked onto his shoulders, gripping lightly as he was still sitting up.

"Inuyasha" she breathed, her voice quivering.

He liked that sound, attached with his name. He liked it a lot.

Almost violently, he grasped the back of one ripe thigh, and fixed her into the position he'd intended. The flesh there was so, so hot, hotter than any other dream flesh he'd ever felt. This dream was quickly becoming his favorite.

His dull-tipped hands found solace on her waist and he yanked her down, hard, grinding her into his arousal. The sensation was… orgasmic. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he were awake.

Her eyes rolled back, and the choke from her lips was inaudible.

He grinned, his eyes watching the emotions play across her face with an almost sick pleasure as he continued to slowly dry-hump her, adding force to every upward roll of his hips and flattening her against his chest. Her hands clenched his shoulders tightly with every thrust.

"That's right, baby" he rasped, the best he could do with his human voice-box.

Her lids were slipping shut when his lips latched on greedily to her pale neck, and one hand held her head close—needless to say those clear blue pearls shot open wide with the added sensuous assault.

His tongue laved at her neck, nipping and sucking, almost simultaneously. His ever-growing erection grinded bluntly into her poorly covered core, and her breaths were coming in quicker with every thrust and bite. Desperately, her hands fisted in his sheets.

It was so good; her taste, what little of her he could smell, the heat that deliciously seared him, it was so fucking intense. The most stimulating dream, ever.

His hand massaged and played at her hips before tugging her camisole up and up. Softly butting his head into her chest so he could look down, he tugged eagerly upon the cotton, exposing her creamy middle to him. The material was just under her breast when he noticed, level with her belly button, but at her right side, was a tan-colored birth mark, shaped kind of like a four-leaf clover.

He smiled; that was kind of adorable. Fleetingly, he thought that this Kagome should probably be named since she was already by far, his favorite. The Kagome of Luck, he thought. It was kind of cheesy, but he figured he'd think of a more proper name when he wasn't so preoccupied, and he would definitely keep a look-out for this birth mark on the next Kagome's to come.

Okay, enough of that, back to her.

Inuyasha grasped the small of her back, earning the satisfaction of a harder grind and a flustered mate.

And The Kagome of Luck squealed, but not blissfully. She squealed as she pressed her hands flat against his bare chest, pushing away.

"S-Stop, Inuyasha" Her voice was anything but stable.

He smirked, liking her more and more every minute. So she was going to be a tease, too? He resisted the urge to chuckle. He had no problem going after what he wanted—in his dreams of course—even if he had to resort to chasing her down. The thought fed his already engorged cock, and if the way she shuddered was any indication, he would say she felt it.

She bit her lip, trying to stifle an uncontrollable moan. He truly, desperately wanted to kiss her. The Kagome of Luck.

His eyes locked on her pouty petals, and she read his thoughts as clearly as if he'd spoken them. The intent was obvious. He leaned, she pushed him again.

"Inuyasha, what are you thinking?" she asked breathless, and she sounded honestly confused.

"What we both want, what we both need, Kagome of Luck" he said with a chuckle.

Her brows furrowed, her head stuck out adorably in confusion. He shook his head a little; he didn't want to talk anymore. He leaned again, but slower this time, fearing she might jump up and remove the comfortable weight settled against his member.

"You don't want this" he heard her whisper, her voice was sad. He leaned back. He didn't want her sad.

Why was she sad in his dreams? She was never supposed to be sad.

And then, at the exact moment that he began to doubt this 'dream', his bedroom door opened to allow his friends inside as if to settle his confusion.

Sango came in first and froze mid step, her fiancée stumbling right into her back.

Both he and Kagome must have gotten whiplash upon seeing their wide-eyed friends, and his soft, warm, mate was scrambling off his lap as quick as her legs would scurry, whilst tugging urgently at the camisole that would not quite cover enough for her.

The hanyou shifted uncomfortably; his thin sheet was less than sufficient covering of the hard-on he sported. However, that was the lesser of his worries.

That. Wasn't. A Fucking. Dream!?

He looked from Kagome to his friends, then back again a few times before he allowed himself to swallow the shameful pill that was his reality. His hands shook, restlessly, as silence ensued. What was there to say, really?

Then Myouga came, gently pushing past the couple and unwittingly bringing them all out of their varying degrees of mortification.

"Inuyasha, you're up so soon."

The hanyou just nodded, and he finally put things into perspective. Questions that he should have asked upon waking were finally brought to attention in that muffled brain of his. Why had he been asleep in the first place if he specifically remembered leaving his room? He remembered his desperation to see Kagome's face before he allowed himself to sleep, and though he couldn't really feel the hunger, he knew he needed to get something in his stomach before the day was over with. So he'd gone to dinner, then something…. something happened.

"What the hell happened?" he asked. "And why the fuck am I human?" he glanced at his thin nails in disgust.

They all looked hesitant to answer him at first, but then Miroku stepped forward. "I am to blame for that, Inuyasha." He said solemnly, earning him a raised black brow.

Sango came and wrapped a comforting hand around the Houshi's elbow. Miroku sighed heavily when she did this.

"I caught fish for dinner, and they were Sawotabi, and like a fool I'd somehow forgotten that they could be dangerous to youkai, and hanyou. I swear if I would have put a little thought in it, I would have realized my mistake before it was too late. I'm sorry, even though I know what I've done is unforgivable. You could be dead right now and it would be completely my fault."

Miroku grit his teeth in an uncharacteristic show of severity. The Houshi was almost always gleeful, with a constant crease in the corner of his laughing eyes. It was upsetting to see him so out of character.

"Keh, well I ain't dead, am I?" Inuyasha said. Miroku looked up with hopeful eyes. Inuyasha rolled his.

"Look, you were stupid, I ain't gunna argue on that one. Seriously Miroku, how could you forget about the fucking Sawotabi? We haven't been away from civilization that long, have we?" Sango smiled at him, almost proudly. He shrugged, finishing his monologue, "It ain't unforgivable" he resisted the urge to say compared to the shit I've gotten you into. "But anyway, we still haven't answered the most important question. Why am I as ugly as the rest of you?"

"I believe you should be asking why you're still breathing, you moron." Sango said, still clinging to a shameful monk.

Inuyasha shrugged again, "Are you going to answer either question?"

They all looked to Kagome who was hanging her head low, refusing to meet his eyes. They all waited for her to speak and it almost seemed like an eternity had passed before she raised her head, and cleared her throat.

"I purified you so that the toxin would be harmless." She explained.

"Kagome is a miko, Inuyasha, she saved your life. If we didn't have her here, who knows what might have happened." Myouga said, almost admirably.

Miko…It was a distant word that he hadn't realized, until now, he'd purposefully been avoiding. Just like her.

"I just wanted to help in any way that I could." She said lamely.

"You did more than help, Kagome. We owe you for Inuyasha's life, something we probably won't ever be able to make up for." Miroku said.

"Please… don't. I'm just glad everything turned out okay."

They were making her uncomfortable, that was obvious, and Inuyasha really didn't like that.

"So, how long am I supposed to be stuck like this?" he asked, changing topic.

They looked to her again, and she shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, I honestly don't know. I haven't had much training with my powers, so it probably won't last for long; I doubt I'm that strong."

"Well, I guess I can't really complain about that, now can I?" Inuyasha groaned softly.

"Not unless you want to be slapped," Sango hissed, "Speaking of which, you've yet to thank Kagome yourself"

He didn't turn to the girl in question; direct eye contact with her was the last thing he could bear. There was a small silence before her voice broke through it, shyly.

"That's unnecessary, Sango. It really is. I think I'm going to go have that shower and be off to bed." Kagome said quickly, and rushed for the door, but before exiting her eyes scanned the room. "Goodnight, everyone"

Her gaze settled on his for last, and even his pathetic eyes could detect the slight slope at the corners of her lips, and the heartbreaking flooding of his mates beautiful blue eyes.

The door clicked shut, and then he was off the bed in a flash, surprising even himself. He looked down at himself, wondering why in the hell he was only wearing boxers, before he took off after her, leaving behind his confused companions.

Once he was out the door, he closed it behind him hoping it would keep the rest of them inside. Kagome was walking quickly down the hallway, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. She looked back at him with a deep frown on her face, and then turned away with even quicker steps.

Inuyasha had no idea what he planned to do, but his entire being roared in protest at the thought of letting her sleep with that expression on her face. He'd have to explain himself somehow, make her believe that he wasn't the asshole that he knew he truly was. He followed behind, his bare feet thudding quickly against the wooden floors.

Kagome kept going, pretending that she was unaware of him. He would keep going as long as she did, he unconsciously swore to himself. He wouldn't stop until she did.

She suddenly came to a halt with clenched fists by her sides. She spun on him with bright angry eyes, and a trembling lip.

"What, Inuyasha?" she demanded. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't prepared to face her anger.

He found himself moving closer to her, and then he was before her, the tips of their toes almost touching.

His eyes were deep with shame, and he didn't want her to see them. He looked down and muttered the only thing he could think of.

"I'm sorry"

She exhaled a cry that was a knife to his ears.

"I'm so sorry" he repeated. A mate's cry was wounding to the soul.

She shook her head, "I… I knew you would be."

He looked to see her frowning at the ground, her eyes held much regret.

"Why" she whispered, almost to herself.

He inhaled deeply, trying to find the right words.

He was taking a little too long for her.

"Why did you do that, Inuyasha? Why did you touch me like that when you knew you didn't mean it, and you knew how I felt? Were you trying to hurt me?" she asked, and her breath was almost embarrassingly erratic. Her shoulders shook, and against his better judgment, he took hold of each of them in his sturdy hands.

She might have attempted to break his hold, but he couldn't tell because the effort was so weak. His lips were still moving wordlessly while he shook his head.

"…So sorry, Kagome" he eventually got out. "I just… can't give you what you want from me."

She shook her head, "Inuyasha, you have no idea what I want" He stared at her imploringly so she continued, "All I've really wanted since being here was to be around you, how close was always up to you. But you keep finding ways to push me away, and I don't know why. When you told me you just wanted to be friends, it hurt but I was willing to fill the position, just to be near you, but since then you haven't really been treating me like one. Every time we get close, you have to find some way to… ruin it, and that's lead me to one conclusion"

She paused to take a step forward, and wrap her arms around his naked waist. "Inuyasha" she breathed, "You want to be with me too, don't you?"

He couldn't speak. She was right, of course she was.

She raised her head off his chest, her clear eyes gazing at him and daring him to do what they both wanted more than anything at that moment.

Unable to resist any longer, he lowered his head, bracing for the feel of her lips against his.

It never came.

Those lips settled on his cheek instead. "But you're not ready" she finished sadly. "And it's okay. You don't have to choose between being with me, and not having me at all, Inuyasha. I'm here, however you want me to be, I'm here."

She settled back against him. His arms lay limply by his sides as he grasped what she'd said.

Then his eyes squeezed shut, and he crushed her to his body. His nose nuzzled softly into her neck, and he felt nothing but gratefulness to her. Finally, he felt as if he understood everything; Kagome, and himself. At that moment, he was relieved.

Kagome wasn't trying to push herself on him. She was never demanding that he own up to his feelings for her; she was just there, happy, infuriating, and comforting. He'd wasted so much time coming up with ways to avoid her, to make her angry with him, to kill her feelings for him, but it was pointless.

With mates, there is never a way.

But he now knew that this didn't mean he had to lose her warmth by his side. Kagome was making it so that he could have her near, without committing to her. It was an act so selfless, and so painful on her part, that he squeezed her tighter in apology for what she would have to endure.

He had no other choice, Kagome chose to be his friend and bear the consequences of his shattered heart. He was too selfish to demand that she stay away for the remainder of her trip, and she was too not to keep her distance.

Inuyasha didn't know what to expect of their revelation, things could go either way. But Kagome was his friend now, for real this time. He wasn't going to ignore her every time she accidentally turned him on, he wasn't going to insult her generosity the next time she offered him breakfast, and he wasn't going to lock himself in a room all day the next time he yearned to see her face.

He was taking a great leap, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

Inuyasha held his mate tighter.

*****

Sorry that soon wasn't as soon as I thought it would be. This was probably the longest chapter, and I hope you guys didn't get bored in the middle =]

R&R please, and tons of gratitude to the amazing reviewers that review me every time. I never, ever get tired of hearing from you guys, so please keep at it ;]