The door to my room is closed and, now, I stand in the middle of the room. I am trying to untie the ribbons in the back of my dress. I finally break the knots and begin to slip it off.
"Lillianna?" Without waiting for an answer, my visitor turns the sound of soft knocking into the creaking noise of my door opening.
I instinctively cover myself and spin around to face the intruder. His hard face is turned away from me in a grimace, a slight sneer playing on his lips.
"Sorry," he mutter.
"It's fine, Mr. Todd. I'm decent." I make sure the dress is up all the way and start to fumble as I lace up the strings, this time, securing them.
"I have it," he offers. He walks behind me and gently ties the ribbons, his fingers occasionally brushing the delicate flesh on my back and neck. These touches send sparks and shivers through my body. I remain defiant and ignorant to the sensations. What does it matter if he shows me kindness every once in awhile? These thoughts and reactions are forbidden.
"I realize I haven't properly apologized for my behavior earlier," he says warmly. His sudden decency flatters me. I am surprised that a man who is now usually so cold and distant – and who, mere hours earlier was threatening my life – can still locate the gentleman named Benjamin Barker somewhere inside of him. This brings a crimson blush to my tanned cheeks.
"It was my fault. I overreacted. As you said –"
"No," he interrupts, facing me and placing his hands on my shoulders. "You expected some decency from me. You think the idea of meat pies of human meat is barbaric. If my temper hadn't blown quite that big, then I would have spared you the…consequences. How is your head, by the way?"
The kindness he is showing seems to lighten the ebony eyes to a deep chocolate and I see a flash of his previous, docile being.
I soon realize I am staring. I force myself to tear my gaze away from the admittedly handsome man in front of me.
"Why does he make me feel this way?" I ponder. "I shouldn't feel this way about anybody. Gregory was my soulmate. I shouldn't have to succumb to these sensations. I simply cannot fancy Mr. Todd; we are strictly friends, if even. He is forbidden, off limits. I loved Gregory!"
Another part of my mind points out some interesting key words. "Gregory was my soulmate," and "I loved Gregory." I will admit that my family is gone, but I simply cannot betray Gregory like that, dead or not. I need to distance myself from Mr. Todd to make this work.
"It's fine," I say, removing his hands. I look down in shame and confusion.
Being the stubborn man he is, he ignores my silent plea to be left alone and places a hand under my chin. He lifts my head for us to see eye to eye.
"What's wrong?" he asks, reading my features and sensing something is wrong. His face twists in compassion and confusion.
I gaze intently in his now chocolate eyes. "Nothing," I finally say. I resign to exit and go to the wash room, hoping beyond hope that he does not follow me.
I don't even realize it. As I pass him, I give him a light peck on the cheek. He stares at me as I continue on my way, silently cursing myself.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking!?"
"Honestly, nothing."
"You can't do that! You just promised you would distance yourself; you can't betray Gregory and what did you just do? You kissed the bloody bastard!"
"It was only on the cheek!"
"That makes no difference, dumb ass! This is very fucked up, now, you know that right?"
"Shit. This isn't good."
"You're damn right, it isn't!"
"What was that?" the forbidden one asks, leaning against the doorway of the washroom and discontinuing my internal conversation. I tie my hair back with a spare ribbon, thinking of an adequate response.
"It was priest, my dear," I reply sourly, referring to today's earlier activities. It is a dry attempt at humor, I realize, for he glares at me. All traces of Benjamin Barker evaporate. His eyes return to the usual midnight black, all kindness and patience wears thin and I know he suddenly couldn't care less about my head.
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't," I lie. "What was what?"
"That! That-that-that-that-" he stutters, unable to make the forbidden word form in his mouth.
"'That' what? What the bloody hell are you talking about?" I question. His inability to simply forget it is starting to annoy me.
"That- that- That kiss!" he spits the word with contempt.
A heat starts to creep through me. I suppress it and ask smoothly, "What about it?"
"What was that for? What did you mean by it?"
"Don't think much of it," I assure him with a sigh. Luckily, I am able to act calm, cool and collected. Still, I watch my tongue for any slip ups. "It was merely a friendly gesture."
"Really?" he asks, control suddenly regained.
"What are you implying by that?" I inquire, starting to put a little teasing in my tone, but nothing suggestive. Just…something to get him confused. His brow furrows in confusion. "Do you think it was driven by other feelings? If so, what other feelings?"
"And what are your implications?" he counters.
"Excuse me?"
He seems to have an epiphany. "You think I'm hoping you fancy me. I'm not. I am simply curious. Why? Do you fancy me?"
"Of course not," I respond, a little too rushed and flustered.
"It sure sounds like it," he states with a victory smirk.
"I can assure you that I do not consider you like that." I busy myself by drenching my face in water.
"Really?" he repeats. "Since it would be under other circumstances, what would you have done had you had said feelings?" His voice tells me he knows I lied. Damn. I tried so hard not to show.
"Why do you want to know?" I ask defensively, taking a breath.
"I am merely curious as to the outcome of the situation."
I swear he wants me to kiss him. Well, I won't give him the satisfaction. "Why don't you keep your curiosity to yourself, Mr. Todd?"
"Am I beginning to aggravate you?"
"Only a little," I remark. That's the understatement of the century.
"Then I am doing my job," he replies with another smirk. Okay…apparently I did give him satisfaction. "How, again, would the outcome change had you had feelings for me?"
Acting on impulse out of rage and annoyance, I do only what I can. "I would have done this!" In demonstration, I grab his face and pull him to me in a rough, but passionate kiss. For a moment, I actually enjoy it, but I quickly snap back to reality. I push him off and instantly regain control of myself.
"As it is," I begin, "I did not."
"You just did." Though he tries to sound arrogant, I can tell something else lies beneath the surface.
I roll my eyes and stalk to my room. He follows me and leans against the door frame, probably not done aggravating me.
"I'm lucky," Sweeney muses, half to himself, but I know it will be followed by some smart comment. "If I would have entered your room a moment later, I would have seen something I really didn't want to see."
Fine. Two can play at this game. "What, may I ask, are your implications with that remark?" I ask, trying to turn the tables on him.
"Merely that I did not wish to see you in your undergarments," he answers simply.
"Is that the truth? Or are implying that I am unattractive?"
"No! Never!" he defends, honestly.
"Then what are you suggesting?"
"Why are you being so over analytical?" Sweeney yells exasperatedly, obviously agitated, a red blush creeping into his cheeks.
"I'm showing you how annoying you can be!" I reply. "Besides, you're not answering my question."
"You want an answer?" He grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. Our soft lips collide. I resist for only a moment, but soon, I melt into the kiss.
STOP NOW IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE READING GRAPHIC…JUDGE THINGS… YOU MAY CONTINUE READING WHEN YOU SEE THESE AGAIN!
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He walks forward, leading me to my bed. He turns us around and flops onto the bed, pulling me with him. With impeccable skill and swiftness, he slips off my dress. Sweeney unsheathes the razor in his holster and cuts open my corset, leaving me in only my pantaloons and slip, which are quickly removed.
Sweeney then rolls on top of me. He strips himself of his scarf, vest, jacket, and shirt. At this point, he begins to nibble on my lower lip. Feeling his thin, pale, yet toned figure against mine impels me to part my lips. Then he leaves no part of my mouth unexplored by his curious tongue.
I feel his desire hard against my thigh. Sweeney unbuttons his pants, and soon, both of us are bare and in a passionate embrace.
Without warning, Sweeney Todd thrusts himself inside of me. I gasp and he smirks into the kiss. His sensual kisses leave a fiery path as they trail against my jaw, down to my neck. I cling to the barber, my left hand gripping his ebony hair, my right resting on his back. With every thrust, my grip tightens and my nails dig into his flesh. He doesn't seem to mind this.
He kisses up and down my neck, occasionally stopping at my ear. Sweeney nibbles and sucks, finding my weak spots rather quickly. When he hits these weak spots, I am compelled to moan in deep satisfaction. Sweeney seems to favor the hollows just beneath my ear and neck.
At length, Sweeney looks deep into my eyes before slamming his lips to mine once more. He runs his hands up and down my sides, sending pleasurable thrills throughout my body.
All too soon, it's over. We collapse on each other, gasping for air.
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Sweeney rolls over, pulling me with him so I do not have to bear his weight. I shut my eyes and try to catch my breath.
I reopen my eyes to see Sweeney, guilt manifesting itself in his eyes. A single tear breaks through his hard, trained exterior and pride and trickles down his cheek. I know exactly what he is thinking, for it's the same as I am thinking.
"I'm sorry, Lucy." His lament is barely audible; he doesn't want me to hear it. Louder, he says, "I'm sorry Lillianna. I never meant it to go this far."
"It's alright, Mr. Todd. I know that you did not wish to disrespect the memory of your late wife, Lucy, nor did I wish to do the same to Gregory. All the same, they would probably want us to be happy, to move on. Let's face it: They're gone. Lucy and Gregory are never coming back. Life is for the alive, my dear. I'll let you-" I make to get up, but Sweeney holds me close and cuts me off.
"Stay with me," he whispers, giving me the pleading look that reminds me so much of a lost puppy. I can't really tell if the statement is a request or an order. Either way, I oblige, lower myself and rest my head on his chest. I'll admit it feels good. It feels good being in this position again, after having no doubts of ending up as the old widow down the street.
His steady breathing and heart beat lull me to sleep. I enter a peaceful sleep with an amiable smile on my face.