A/N: So this Chapter is a little longer than the others but I just couldn't seem to find a good place to split it off. Hope you like it
Much Love,
Xxx Aby
~oooOooo~
As I walk into the Grey family house I feel myself relax slightly from all the drama that's going in in my life at the moment, I always felt safe here and they are very much my second family, and that is not a bad thing because it's nice to have other people to talk too when I don't want to talk to my own, especially if it's about them. As I walk into the family room I can see them all sitting there and I can't help but feel like I'm home, I mean I feel at home in my house but The Grey's has always felt warmer, I put it down to the fact that my parents were rarely home at the same time, but Daddy always made the effort to attend our special events so you could say while I still have a complete family, I feel like in some ways I still come from a broken home.
"Ana darling, it's so good to see you, I hope that this rubbish that's going around hasn't gotten to you to much…you know that Carrick and I would never think anything bad of you or any of your family, that's what I just telling Justyce and Frankie…he told us what happened with your mother, I'm so sorry about that…at least the bruise hasn't come up to bad…" Great just what I wanted them to know, that my mother hit me, who am I kidding I would have told them, the red slightly blue mark on my cheek is hard to miss against my alabaster skin, hell anyone who didn't know my family wouldn't think I was related because I'm the whitest out of all of us, I'm not really a fan of tanning or sunbathing, but then again I've never really had a reason too but maybe that's about to change, after all a certain cooper haired grey eyed gentleman might like a slight colour to my skin.
"Thanks Grace, I'm sorry if this has caused any problems for you in the community, I will try and get some sort of statement out to counteract what was written but I just don't have the energy at the moment, and I want to apologise for leaving your party early the other night, it's just a lot to take after not being around for a while I forgot how over whelmed those parties make me…I hope that I'm not imposing on lunch Christian insisted…." I murmur as I feel him enter the room and walk up behind me.
"Don't be silly Anastasia you know my parents wouldn't mind, besides your family's here to so really it's your family Sunday lunch also…" he said nodding to his mother as I felt his hand on my back, I have no idea why his touch calms me down but it does and when he kissed me this morning I couldn't even think anything, my body just didn't get any messages at all.
He can say that he didn't mean to do it but I saw it coming, him checking me out, the flirting and to be honest I was hoping it would have been more than a quick kiss like it was but the fact that Taylor ended up walking in I'm glad it wasn't because if something had started between us I know that I wouldn't have had the willpower to stop it. Since I saw him at the GEH opening at Seventeen years old I have had very non PG13 thoughts about him, even though I was still pissed off at him, I couldn't help it as much as I tried to not think about him it just made it worse, it's one of the reasons I kept track of him through college I wanted to make sure he was okay and that he was happy, that's all I ever wanted for him, it's still all I want for him, but I can't help but also want to strangle Elena Fucking Lincoln I know she is creepy and up to no good I just need to wait till he's ready…at least, I hope that I can wait till he's ready.
"Of course he's right Ana, come there's enough food for everyone and now that you're all here we can eat…" Carrick smiles as he watches Christian and I and I can't help but blush slightly looking down, I've always felt like an open book most of the time and the fact that I'm comfortable around Christian isn't going un noticed by Frankie as she takes my hand dragging me to the dining room table.
Oh right I haven't explained why that would make some of you raise an eyebrow. While I was away a Georgetown and all this stuff happened with Jose, I called my best friend Louise who in turn called Frankie and she left Paris, Milan to be more precise where she was working for Vogue to come back to check on me. She stayed at the dorm with me with special consideration from the Dean and she kept me company for two weeks and then flew back out. Of course that was just the beginning of my anxiety attacks and I was amazed that I managed to finish all my classes and maintain my 4.0 GPA as well as being valedictorian. But that's a completely different story. I guess you could say when I want to stay out of my own head I throw myself into something that will distract me, that was finals, the internship and running, that was my escape until I could officially leave that hell hole, of course that brought me back here but it will only be a couple of months before I can get my own place, Lord knows working for GEH I should be able to move into Seattle in no time.
I'm pulled back from my run away day dream when I feel Christian place his hand on my thigh. I look down and then up at him and he is smiling back at me. I thought that I would freak out at his touch but I know that he has to feel whatever this is between us but I just can't bring myself to totally forgive him yet. I have started, this morning was amazing apart from the phone calls I got and I can't stop thinking about him kissing me. It's taking everything I have not to kiss him here because I know that it will start the Mia, Frankie and Justyce inquisition and after the morning I've had I can't handle that today.
As we start to eat the conversation flows, turns out that Friday night for Coping Together did better than they imagined with nearly One point Five Million raised and I can't help but feel that Christian had more to play in that amount than he's letting on as he dodges questions from Elliot and Grace like it's no big deal. I guess he's had some big deals pull through at GEH that he's managed to help out to a cause that's close to his heart.
As we're sitting around the table after finishing our meal I hear my phone go off and then two others, as I apologise and pull it out I read it and I can't help but groan as I put my head in my hands. I know that Ty-Ty and Frankie got the same message:
*Best you give your mother some time to cool off tonight, I'm happy to pay for your rooms if you decide to stay at a hotel, if you need me for anything call my cell…Love Dad x*
"Great, just what we need…" I hear Frankie say as I look at her.
"Is there something wrong?" I hear Carrick ask and I look at Frankie and then at Justyce and they just nod at me.
"Just Dad saying to not go home tonight, I guess he confronted Mom about why she lied about slapping me and they had a fight…he hates violence against children almost as much as he hates being lied too and when he finally found out she did both I can only assume that he told her we wouldn't be coming home…" I say gently as I grab Christian's hand that is on my knee now and hold it tightly. I don't know how much Justyce shared about yesterday, but if Grace asks I won't be able to lie, I will have to tell her that I think Elena had something to do with it and then that in turn would start the shit storm that I really can't deal with right at this moment.
"Well I can't say that I blame him for telling you not to go home, you're all more than welcome to stay here if you have no place else to go…separate rooms of course…" the last bit she says smirking which causes everyone at the table to laugh including me.
Grace learnt very quickly that us Steele children were never good with rules, I know Justyce has been caught a number of times sneaking out of Mia's room as she wasn't allowed at our house and with the way other Mother is he never pushed it, Frankie didn't stay here much as Elliot moved out when he went to college so that just left Christian and Mia at home and as far as I'm aware he never had anyone in his room other than me and well I was never here during his teenage years so it was never an issue because went I stayed I was underage and I never thought of him in a romantic way until I saw him at the GEH Opening. Ever since then it has been wet dream central when I comes to one Mr Christian Grey, of course being Twenty-One and having him here in person next to me has my mind fighting with my body. I guess puberty allows you to view people you've known your whole life in a different light, not entirely sure it's always a good light but I like to think that Christian and I would be okay if we entered into a relationship at some point in the future.
"Thank you Grace but I'm staying with Kate so you don't have to worry about me…" I say smiling at her gently as I feel Christian stroking my hand. I'm not sure why I feel like he's been doing that longer than just now but I can't tell him off for it because he's keeping me from breaking down. I never imagined that my mother would ever hit me and the fact that she has, it's knocked me through a loop, albeit a small one but it's still a loop.
I help Grace clear the table along with Mia and Frankie as the boys disappear into Carrick's study for some 'Bloke Time' as Elliot calls it. Honestly I think it's just an excuse for them to talk about crass things without the interruption from us girls. I mean I'm not entirely out there but I'm not a prude either but sometimes certain things Justyce and Elliot say can rub me the wrong way, not that I'm sure that's the term I should be using but there you go.
As we are talking about Frankie's next trip to Paris for Vanity Fair my phone starts to play I'll Be There for You by The Rembrandts on the dining room table so I excuse myself answering it knowing that it's the ringtone I set up for Louise who's been my best friend since I was Five years old.
"Hey Lou, what's up?" I ask as I place it to my ear as I head out to the patio looking out over to the water.
"Hey, you're on speaker Jace and Nastasia are here too….Hey Spanna" and that last comment would have been from Jace, Louise's husband they got married in August of 2009, she was one day over the age of Nineteen and they had welcome Nastasia into the world only a month before and they were the cutest family I had ever seen. He of course was older but they had been family friends much like Christian and I are, only they never really got along, always bickering with each other, well when I was around them anyway. He's not as old as Christian, he was Twenty-Four I think when they got married and was attending Harvard Law School.
I was her Maid-of-Honour and I wore Pink, well it was really more of a Nude Pink and she would be one of the only people I would wear it for because it's her favourite colour, I'm a good friend like that. The dress was beautiful and I was told repeatedly that it looked like the dress was designed for me, it had embellished Sweetheart Neckline and Spaghetti Straps that attached to a floor length skirt and I felt beautiful, I walked down the aisle holding Nastasia, who if you haven't figured out by now is my Goddaughter . They only had a small wedding which was perfect for her because like me, she never really did crowds obviously for different reasons. Anyway I was the only Bridal Party member and Jace's brother was his Best Man…which made me a little more comfortable because I knew I didn't have to worry about feeling less beautiful than the other Bridesmaids, if she had any.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like that name Ace…" I love him like he was my own brother and I know that I would do anything for either of them. Of course after they got married and with having Nastasia, they made a will and as Louise's parents disowned her when she told them she was pregnant and because Jace's parents now live in Madrid they have named me guardian of Nastasia if anything happens to them, which is amazing and scary at the same time. I just can't bear to think about Louise not being around, I would be lost without her if she was gone and Jace, well he's my lawyer so I would rather not have to find another one.
"Actually this is a business call Ana, I don't have good news I'm afraid, it's in regards to a certain Mr Rodriguez…it seems that this morning he's plead not guilty on the grounds of Insanity…more to the point Cognitive Insanity…" Are you freaking kidding me? Cognitive Insanity my ass, the dude is the furthest thing from insane…delusional maybe but fuck if I allow him to insult people who are genuinely insane.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CHANGED TO HIS PLEA TO AN INSANITY DEFENCE, the only reason he's managed to do this now is because they didn't sentence him when he pled guilty in the first place; they just remanded him until they could fit in his case. He could get off because of this Jace and then where does that leave me?" I know that everyone inside can probably hear me but that's the last thing that's going through my mind as I start to feel myself getting a headache, my arms twitching, which leads to hyperventilation, which in turn leads to a panic attack. Great this is just what I bloody need.
"Breathe Ana, you falling apart isn't going to solve anything…I'm trying to get information about why they suddenly want to change his plea and what grounds he thinks he can pull this stunt on but I am going to do everything I can to make sure he goes down for what he did to you…I can't say to much more on this because I really shouldn't be mentioning this in front of Louise and on her phone…give me a couple of days and I will see what I can find out but it will mean it will go to trial…." Of course it fucken would, this is what he wants he wants to mess with my head again and he knows that by doing this I will more than likely have to testify.
I thought I was done with him and now the fucking state system has screwed me over because they 'couldn't' find the time to fit him in, more like my case wasn't serious enough for them to push his case through while now I have to deal with that fact that now I have to go back to DC just because he can't leave me the fuck alone, like I don't have enough to deal with right now.
"Jace, please I know I won't be able to handle it if he gets off, he'll come after me I know he will…" I sigh as I feel tears falling down my face. I can feel myself getting dizzy, this isn't going to end well, and I'm already starting to get tense.
"Breathe Baby Sis; I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear but I promised that if anything about his case came up I would let you know…just let me deal with this and try not to think about it, and yes I know that's easier said than done but please just trust me. I don't want him to get out any more than you do…" I know he means it but it's just so hard to hear at the moment.
"Thanks for letting me know, please do everything you can Jace I don't want to go to trial…" I run my hand over my face drying the tears before sighing. As I'm turning around I realise that the family room is no longer empty and I feel the blood leaving my face as I take in their expressions, the only one who's not looking confused is Frankie.
"Take care Ana…Don't worry…Bye Ana, I'll come see you on Saturday and we can have a girls day…" that was Louise telling me that she'll come and keep me company when I don't have anything to do so that I don't think about the case.
"Yea…Bye…" is all I manage to say before my panic attack sets in and I sink to the floor hyperventilating, why did it have to happen today of all days? I swear the universe is out to get me. Let's see it would probably be Universe – 3 Ana – 1. The one being telling Elena what I think of her but it hasn't done any good she's still hounding me because I can only assume she's jealous that I'm back in Christian's life.
"Ban-Ban focus on me, just breathe, he can't hurt you anymore…you're safe here." I can see Frankie in front of me but her voice sounds like I'm going through a tunnel, I can't shake the nausea that's threatening to leave me. I hate feeling venerable, that's why I took Self-Defence classes at the Campus Gym on a Monday night after all this happened, it helped me feel in control and powerful, I refuse to be that weak person that he turned me into, I was looking over my shoulder for weeks after the last time he did it, I refused to walk anywhere at night on my own and thankfully the Dean allowed security in the Halls, because it turns out I wasn't the only one that he had attacked, although he didn't succeed with all of them.
I look at her and try to breathe but it feels like his body is pressing against mine and I feel numb, it's happening again, at least that's what it feels like, I can feel his hands on me, his breath on my neck the weight of him pressing down on me and I just can't do anything to stop it. I see Christian move to stand behind her and then he asks her something that I don't hear and she nods standing up moving back from me.
"Hey Bitty…take my hands…" I keep my eyes locked on his and I can feel my hands shake as I lift them and place them in his. I feel his fingers lace with mine and I look down at our hands.
"I've got you…I won't let anything happen to you…" he use to say this to me when I was showing signs of my claustrophobia and it helped then and it's starting to calm me now but I still can't seem to shake the weight that seems to be pressing against me.
"Take some deep breaths and just focus on me…" it turns out that as I start to feel lighter I can actually take in my surroundings and notice that everyone cleared out except for Christian, Frankie and Grace. I didn't even realise that the boys would have come out of Carrick's office that soon.
"There she is…" he smiles at me and I can't help but smile back at him and clear my throat.
"C…Can I have some water…" that of course isn't what I want to drink but I know that alcohol would not be a good mix with the feelings that are coursing through me and the slight hangover that I'm still suffering from after last night.
"Of course dear, I'll be right back…" Grace excuses herself as she leaves and I feel Christian pull on my hands as he stands up and pulls me gently with him.
"Easy give yourself a minute to get your bearings before you try and walk or move anywhere…" he doesn't let go of my hands and for that I am grateful.
"Thanks…for bringing me back…" It seemed like that was what I said quite a bit growing up, my anxiety was really bad and throw in the claustrophobia and it was all kinds of crazy, it's why I hated it when my mother wanted to parade me around in front of all her so called friends, she treated me like a doll and I hated it.
"It's fine…just like old times…" he chuckles gently and I know that it's because normally the only way I would come back is if he promised that he would keep an eye on me and if the girls were getting to close he would come and tell me that my Dad was coming to get me and then told me to go up to Mia's room and hideout until they'd all gone.
"Here you go sweet Ana…" Grace hands me the water and then looks at me. "How are you feeling?" I know she's being serious but I can't help but laugh slightly when she asks that question.
"Just peachy…" I say before taking a long sip of water from the glass that she gave me. She looks at me and she's smiling, I guess I haven't lost my stubborn gene after all.
"You have some colour back in your cheeks so that's good, if you feel like it's happening again, let me know and I can check all your vitals and just make sure that there's nothing more serious happening okay…I'm just a phone call away or a yell if you decide to stay here…" I love Grace, she has always been caring and she treats everybody like an extension of her family. My Brother and Sisters have always felt like honouree Grey's.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to interrupt anyone…" I sit down on the couch and pull my knees up to my chest after taking my shoes off and look at them.
"What did he say Ana, about the case…" God I love my sister but now isn't the time to bring this up.
"Just that he's changed his plea but I don't really want to talk about it Frankie…" I rest my head against my knees as I try to clear my head. I look down at my phone and see that it's hitting Three o'clock and then stand back up.
"I'm sorry Grace but I really need to get going, if it's not too much trouble Christian can Jason drop me back to Kate's house?" I pull my shoes back on and he's frowning at me.
"Sure but I could always take you…" I shake my head.
"No stay, spend some time with your family…I'll be fine…I just need to sort stuff out before tomorrow…" I murmur as I pull my cardigan back on that I pulled off during lunch.
"Ana please…it's no trouble…" I can't help but think that I would feel better if he took me but I also know that he will ask me questions and I just need to process what I've been told before I try and tell people what's been going on.
"Christian please, I just need time to process this…it's easier to that on my own at Kate's while I try and sort out other stuff, just do this for me…if it makes you feel better you can call me later if you're worried…" I can see the fight going on inside his eyes but he sighs and sends Jason a message.
"Thank you for lunch Grace…it was wonderful, if you wouldn't mind passing on my goodbyes to the others I just need to leave before people start asking questions…" she looks upset but she nods and comes over to hug me.
"Of course sweet girl, if you need me call. Take no notice of Christian's discomfort, I think he's still trying to work out where you stand…just let him down gently if you find out you don't feel the same as him, he's still fragile in many ways…" she whispered that in my ear, I know that she's always been concerned about Christian but she has always found that I was good for him, at least that's what Dad told me one day when Frankie and Justyce were coming over but I refused because I couldn't stand being ignored by him again. Grace had said to him that I was the one person who could always bring a smile to his face even on his worse day, that being the day where he had been in a fight or fights and hadn't been able to calm down. I just couldn't do it, it was too hard to see Mia and Elliot interacting with everyone and then Christian just sat staring out the window or hauled up in his bedroom.
"I will Grace, and Thanks…" of course that was in regards to her last comments not the first one. I hug Frankie telling her that I might call her later and then head out to the foyer before leaving through the front door and wipe my face as I feel tears falling; I guess my brain is finally processing what Jace said to me.
"I'll have the clothes sent to Kate's house tonight…but if you want to come back to my place, you know where it is…" I can see he wants me to stay but I need some space, from everyone, I know that Kate won't be there today because she had plans with her family and it will be good to just sit in silence and check my emails, watch some trashy television and then go to bed, God knows I probably won't sleep very well tonight.
"Thanks Christian…" I kiss his cheek and climb in the back of Jason's Compass Altitude All Black SUV Jeep.
Jason closes the door and I see Christian say something to him, I'm assuming he's giving Jason the address to Kate's and then he climbs in the driver's seat. Thankfully it's a quiet drive to her apartment and I have some time to start processing what the phone call was about.
Jose Rodriguez is pleading insanity on the grounds that he wasn't in control of what he did those nights that he attacked me, which is complete and utter bullshit because he knew exactly what he was doing otherwise he wouldn't have done it multiple times he would of realised that he'd done wrong and he would have stopped after the first time, at least if he is of course the person I thought he was he would of, but I've been wrong about people before so why would he be any different?
When he pulls up outside I open the door and thank him before heading inside the building thankfully Kate gave me her key last night as we were leaving to go to The Mile High Club because she planned on staying at her boyfriend's last night.
It almost seems eerie as I enter the empty apartment; I've been so use to being around noise that it almost feels like an alternate universe in some ways. I close the door and fall down onto the couch and I just let the tears fall, I have to because if I don't they will just consume me and I don't want to have to waste any more time on him than I have to and if I do end up having to go to trial I want to be strong and I want to show him that he doesn't get to me, I have to let this all out.
After a good twenty minutes of crying I start to feel better, I feel calmer. Of course I now have a headache because of how much I've been crying and how bad it got but that's nothing some aspirin and water won't fix. I walk into the spare room where Kate said I could stay and I pull out my laptop, I know that Kevin was sending me through all the information to start at GEH tomorrow and to be honest I can't wait to start working.
I can't wait to put my brain to some use and to be able to write for a company like GEH is going to be incredible. While it's press releases it still allows me to word play and make myself seem more mature than I actually am, I just hope that I can stand up to Christian's high standards, God knows what will happen if I stuff up, I'll probably be fired before I could even apologise, I mean he's an important person, he can't afford any bad releases, especially if it comes at the expense of most of his employees. Just thinking about it has me feeling nauseas, only time will tell and until then I just have to take the bull by the horns and see where it takes me.
I read through the list of things I will be responsible for that will be covered in the contract that I sign tomorrow with both Kevin and Christian…I guess I'm going to have to get use to calling him Mr Grey…I can't guarantee that I won't stuff up for the first few months, or I should say year this is me we are talking about and rules and regulations aren't entirely my thing but for the sake of GEH I will have to pull my shit together, I need to prove to myself that I can stand on my own two feet and not have to go running home to Daddy all the time.
I hit reply all and send this email:
From: Anastasia Steele
To: Kevin Prescott
CC: Christian Grey
Time: 15:50pm
Date: 06/13/2011
Subject: RE: EMPLOYMENT AT GEH
Dear Mr Prescott,
It would be my pleasure to accept your Job Opportunity at Grey Enterprises Holding in the Public Relations Department of the Company. I will meet you at the requested time of 8:30am in Mr Grey's office to discuss and sign all the necessary paperwork for you as well as Mr Grey and his Security Team as per your instructions.
I look forward to working with you from here on in and learning everything that you have to teach me that will take me further in my career.
Kind Regards,
Anastasia Rose Steele
It only makes sense to seem professional as it is going to be sent to Christian as well of course the excitement that I know I'm going to feel by working is running through my body and thankfully drowning out my anxiety that is still looming, I think a shower, takeaways and Friends reruns are perfect for how I'm feeling right now, I don't think I can think straight enough to do anything to serious…seems ironic really.
Who knows maybe after all of that I will feel better suited to doing more of the serious stuff but I've done the most important thing, I've got myself a job which means a career, which means money, which means my own apartment, which means I give myself freedom from my mother, while I'm not happy about leaving Clarissa there on her own I know that she avoids being at home as much as I use too, plus it means that if she needs it she has somewhere she can crash if she doesn't want to go home and Dad will know where she is and that she'll be safe which I know will put his ageing mind at rest.
Here's hoping that having a long hot shower will wash away all the filth that I feel over my body at the moment. Ugh he's just determined to make my life hell anyway he can, the bastard. I can't wait to see him behind bars and if I don't then I will be one pissed off, short, fiery Burnette and I would stay well clear if I were you…because that is a sight that I don't particularly want anyone to see.
The second that my skin gets hit with the hot water I feel my body start to just feel lighter, I don't know if that's because I'm allowing myself to just let things go but I think I might stay here and just soak for a while, that will allow me time to process, break and put myself back together again, like I have done for what seems like a million times before and each time I break it hurts more and more but I have survived and I will continue to do so…
~oooOooo~
I can't have stayed at my parents for longer than Twenty minutes after Anastasia left before I decided to just head home, I'm still trying to grasp what she was talking about on the phone to someone called Jace, the name sounds familiar but I can't place him, I can only assume at this point that he's her lawyer judging by the fact they were talking about pleas and a trial. I want to know more than anything what she has been through but I don't want to just ask her because yes I am scared…I know surprise, surprise Mr Big Shot CEO is scared to ask Five foot Three Anastasia what exactly is going on…it's not that I'm scared of her, I'm more scared that the answer she gives me will be what I don't want to hear, which at this point would be if it's anything to do with her and any relationship with a guy I know that I will become a Green Eyed Monster, no guy wants to hear about the past exploits about the girl they're in love with, whether it's intentional or not.
I'm sitting in my home office working through some Acquisition paperwork when my Blackberry pings with an email alert. I open it and I smile but also sigh as I read through it:
From: Anastasia Steele
To: Kevin Prescott
CC: Christian Grey
Time: 15:50pm
Date: 06/13/2011
Subject: RE: EMPLOYMENT AT GEH
Dear Mr Prescott,
It would be my pleasure to accept your Job Opportunity at Grey Enterprises Holding in the Public Relations Department of the Company. I will meet you at the requested time of 8:30am in Mr Grey's office to discuss and sign all the necessary paperwork for you as well as Mr Grey and his Security Team as per your instructions.
I look forward to working with you from here on in and learning everything that you have to teach me that will take me further in my career.
Kind Regards,
Anastasia Rose Steele
Well that has to be one of the politest replies I've received from any of my employees, ugh why do I hate the sound of her being an employee…it just seems so wrong to me. I can tell you why…because you don't want her to be an employee you want her to be your girlfriend…plain and simple buddy.
Shut up…I didn't ask your opinion, I'm well aware that I'm in love with her.
Well it looks like I'm going to have to try and stop myself from making a complete ass out of myself when she walks into my office tomorrow morning. I get up from my desk and head out to the kitchen to get a coffee when I walk past the living room my eye catches all the clothes that are still there from this morning.
"Jason, have Luke, Samantha and Benjamin take all this stuff down and load it into the boot of the Altitude and be ready to leave in five minutes…" I call out knowing that he would have heard me. I know that I said I would send someone over with it but to be honest I just want another reason to see her again. Lord knows that I need to see her, I'm going crazy just thinking about her when she's not near me and when she is near me all I want is her under me.
I grab a travel mug and fill it with coffee before heading down to the parking garage and climb in the back of the Altitude before Jason leaves Escala. He knows exactly where to go, thanks to the fact that he dropped Ana off earlier today.
It takes about fifteen minutes to get there; thankfully traffic isn't hectic on a Sunday so that might have had something to do with it. I get out of the car and buzz Kate's apartment and wait for a response but I don't get one. I look at Jason and he just shrugs and I try again and still get no response.
I pull my phone out and dial Kate's number, thankfully she does some media work for GEH so I have her information.
"Hey Christian, what's up? How's Ana today?" well she seems her usual chipper self today considering I'm pretty sure she had more alcohol than anyone else last night.
"I'm outside your apartment actually, Ana was dropped off here about two hours ago but she's not answering and I was wondering if you can give me the access code that you use when you don't have your key to get into the building…" I try to keep the worry out of my voice but I'm not sure I was successful.
"Sure Christian but I'm sure she's fine, it's 42108. Let me know if it's anything serious..." she said before hanging up.
I enter the code and pull the door open when it buzzes and head up to her apartment. Luckily for me I check out all the places that Mia wants to reside in before she goes anywhere so when she told me she was going to try living with Kate for a while I was impressed but I'm still her big brother, not to mention she and all my family can be a target if anyone wants to threaten me, so I did a security check just to placate my own mind. Of course when I mentioned it to Mia she just rolled her eyes at me.
I enter the elevator with Taylor taking it to the top floor and get out knocking on the apartment door, when I don't get an answer I try it and it opens which immediately makes me turn to Jason and he nods at me placing his hand on his gun before entering before me.
"Ana…Anastasia are you in here?" I call out walking around seeing the kitchen, dining room and lounge empty and decide to check the bedrooms, I can hear a television blearing from behind the closed door at the end of the corridor and decide to head that way and knock again before opening the door.
The sight before me has me smiling gently, she is passed out asleep on the bed with...FRIENDS playing on the screen, I know that because Mia use to watch it and I can see Rachel and Ross talking about Ben and him banging his head. I'm not sure what the episode is called but I always found it funning because Ross runs around saying Monica Bang over and over and then smacks into a plank of wood…I know useless information but still I found the show funny.
I turn and walk back to the lounge where Jason is and look at him. "Could you please bring the belongings up from the car and place them in the lounge and I will make sure they get put away before tomorrow when Kate will more than likely be back, also could you get a hold of Gail and have her organise dinner for both Anastasia and I, I'm sure after the day she's had that it will be better if she doesn't have to worry about cooking…" I know that it's probably overstepping but I still worry about her and between Friday and now it's hard to let go of everything that I've witnessed with her, her nightmare, Elena, the phone call all of it makes me wonder how someone of her size can still be so held together. It both amazes me and scares me of what she's actually keeping from me.
"Of course Christian once the car is unload I'll head back to Escala and come back when Gail has the food ready, if you need me for any reason call me, I know you can handle yourself but I'm not so sure if you could handle the full wrath of one Miss Steele…" Asshole, I know that he's referring to when Ana went toe to toe with her. I was amazed standing in the darkness but he would have caught the whole scene from in the car where he was sitting waiting for me.
"I will have my phone in my hand the whole time, speed dial one ready and waiting…" I joke with him because I know that he thinks he's being funny, I trust Ana and he knows that I wouldn't risk doing anything stupid with her.
"Goodbye Jason…" I say turning around walking back into Ana's room and when I get there her body is shaking she's frowning and talking in her sleep.
"Help…Help Me…Stop….Don't…" I run to her side and stroke her hair gently.
"It's okay Ana, no one can hurt you, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere…" I know it seems pointless but I need to get these emotions out or they are going to consume me until I do something entirely stupid like throw myself at her. I can imagine how that would look to the outside world.
*CEO of Grey Enterprises Throws Himself at Barely Twenty-Two Year Old Steele, Desperate For Love and Affection…*
Truth is I am desperate for her but only because I know she makes me better, she makes me feel good about myself and forget everything else, but I can't help but feel like she doesn't trust me to be there for her when she needs me and she may be right but I want to try, I screwed up in my teenage years but show me one person who hasn't.
"Don't….I don't want this please stop…" she's barely talking now more like struggling to breathe and I want to pull her out of it but I know I can't.
"Come back to me Anastasia, bring the light back into my life…you are safe, no one is hurting you…I'm here and I will keep you safe…" I whisper as I lean down and kiss her head sitting on the edge of her bed stroking her hair gently. It's still wet which I can only assume means that she's showered recently which could also be the reason why she's shaking.
"I'll be here when you wake up and I will keep an eye on you…" whether she's heard me or not, I don't know but she seems to be calming down slightly so I'll take that as a win in some way. I could certainly get use to coming home and having her there waiting for me.
Then grow a pair you idiot and tell her how you feel so that you can see if she feels the same, the less I have to put up with you fighting your emotions now the better, I did that enough when you were with her. You should have told her, where to go the second you realised that she was doing wrong and caused all of this mess…
Christian – 0 Subconscious – 2
I guess that's me told…here's hoping that she returns my feelings otherwise things are going to get super awkward. Wish me luck…..
~oooOooo~
A/N: To the guest reviewer of the previous chapter, my aim is to have them become a couple but I can only guy by what they tell me to write
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Much Love,
Xxx Aby