Notes: Last time, I drew a sketch of the Ryuugazaki family in this fic. Today I also finished one for the Hazukis! The link is on my profile, as always. Their power relations are mostly ranked by age, but while that factor is important, their personalities are also responsible for this ranking XD.
...
Rei was cooking lunch in the kitchen when his brother came downstairs. He could hear the sound of the chair scraping against the wood of the dining room floor as he heard someone sit down. Without even turning around, he could tell it was Ryouji—no one else scraped the chair against the floor that loudly when they sat at the table. For a moment, silence lingered between the two brothers, save the sounds of cooking that were coming from the kitchen next door. Rei expected it to stay that way until he was ready to serve lunch, but surprisingly enough, his brother opened his mouth first.
"Had a good sleep, brat?" Nearly dropping the pan at Ryouji's voice, Rei quickly caught it firmly in his hand and set it back on the burner. The egg he was making for omurice sizzled in the pan as Rei pressed it slightly with the spatula in his hand.
"—Yes." He flipped the folded egg in the frying pan, letting the other side of it cook. "I…I noticed that I was in my room this morning when I woke up…but I don't remember getting back upstairs before I fell asleep." He cleared his throat as he mustered up the courage to ask the next question. "Did…did you…"
"It wasn't me, brat. Sorry to disappoint," Ryouji cut in. "It was Dad—he came home at 3 am and he saw you and Mom on the couch, so he carried both of you upstairs." At this news, Rei did drop the spatula this time, and it fell onto the pan with a loud clank, making some oil bounce off the pan and nearly hit him. Barely jumping away from the hot spray in time, Rei wheeled around, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping.
"Wait—Father carried us upstairs?!" He hadn't even talked to his father, much less seen his face at all for the past several days. Ryouji snorted in laughter when he saw the look on his brother's face.
"Yeah, it was Father who lugged your heavy ass upstairs," he said, mimicking Rei's speech. "I did dump a blanket over both of you when I saw you on the couch, but I guess he didn't think that was enough. Such a gentleman, Dad is." He rolled his eyes, but not with any sarcasm in them.
"…You put a blanket over us?" Rei asked, feeling slightly shy. "I didn't know that…thank you."
"Yeah—it was a real pain in the ass, too," his brother replied, yawning. "I only came down for water, but then I saw you two snoring away—someone had to stifle the noise." Despite his blunt words, Rei recognized the light tone in Ryouji's voice—he knew that his brother was only joking.
"…" For a while more, there was silence between the two siblings once more. Then, Ryouji spoke again.
"I…was always in a mood when I was in middle school." He paused. "I had a lot of pubescent crap going on in my life…so I didn't pay much attention to how things were going with you guys." Rei turned slightly, eyes surprised—he found Ryouji with his chin in one hand, looking off to the side, his violet eyes thoughtful. "And—well, I know I wasn't poster boy for the best son or anything like that—it's not like I don't get why you're the favorite around here. I've gotten good grades, won track competitions, got accepted at a college in Tokyo—but I've never really done any of that stuff to please them." He directed a wry glance at Rei.
"Sometimes I think we were born in the wrong order—you're much more 'first son material' than I can ever be. They've always expected a lot from you. Even Dad—the only reason he's pushing you to go to high school is because he thinks you can get something better from a public education—not that I agree with him, personally, but I'm not talking about me. He's given up on me a long time ago—" He let out a bark of laughter. "He always used to give me crap about my personality—like I don't get it from him in the first place." As Ryouji laughed, Rei's eyes widened, processing what his brother had just said.
"I—I've never realized you felt like that," he said, amazed. "I…I've always thought that you were the older brother I could never live up to. You always made everything you achieved seem effortless—the good grades, the track and pole-vaulting, your several friends and girlfriends—I was…" One of his hands gripped the hem of his shirt. "I was always envious of your personality…you seemed so carefree…always pushing ahead with what you want to do…never trying to impress anyone else…but you still had people flocking around you…" He looked back up at his brother earnestly. "But at the same time, I've…I've always looked up to you, aniki." That seemed to leave Ryouji at a loss for words. After a moment, he let out a pft of laughter before letting it roll out fully.
"See? They all do that—they idolize me all the time, like I'm not a human being too." He smirked at Rei. "I'm flattered that you admire me that much, baby brother—but you should live your own life instead of trying to live up to your imagination of me." He scratched his head sheepishly. "I mean, who's going to take care of Mom and Dad if you turn as carefree as me? Someone around here needs to be more down-to-earth—well, I suppose Mom has that down pretty well, but the line's gotta continue." He turned his eyes towards Rei…and in a rare moment of honesty, his voice took on a sincere tone.
"—Sorry, kid. All these years I couldn't look after you properly. I pushed it all off to Mom, and even by then, it was kind of late." Startled by Ryouji's apology, Rei could only stare at his brother in silence, gaping.
"That…I…" He blinked. "I thought you always thought…that I was shameful," he admitted. "I always thought…that you disliked me…because I was too scared to…" Before he could finish that sentence, Ryouji gave him a look that shut him up.
"Wow, aren't you as prone to self-victimization as ever," he snorted. "I told you, it was the pubescent little shit in me kicking in that time—I acted like I hated everyone in this family. And, okay, sometimes I did. But not all the time." He rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why I'm talking about this embarrassing crap. Just because you and Mom had to go and have a girl's talk or whatever it is you two were doing—I thought I was beyond jumping in the bandwagon, but guess not." He let out a sigh. "Look, would you just forget about it and get that egg out of the frying pan? You're burning my lunch." Rei jumped when he noticed the egg was starting to sizzle louder. Quickly, he flipped it over once again and sighed in relief when he judged that he had managed to save it from getting burnt. Having a black omurice wouldn't have been beautiful at all.
"Where's Mom, anyways?" Ryouji commented, looking around his vicinity. "It's been a while since I saw you in the kitchen."
"In her bedroom—I didn't want to wake her, so I just let her sleep in," Rei replied. He picked up the plate of rice he had placed on the counter and maneuvered the frying pan so that the egg landed on top of the rice. He split the middle of the egg with a spatula, making it fall open and spread out over the rice. "You can have this one—it's not burnt."
"Hmph." As Rei returned to the kitchen to make a second omurice, Ryouji got a spoon from the tableware case and started to dig in. "Does Blondie know how to cook?" At the sudden mention of Nagisa, Rei jumped slightly in surprise.
"I—I don't think he usually does," he replied, puzzled. "But why?"
"That's too bad," Ryouji commented, a smirk starting to form on his face. "Since you're gonna take him as your wife and all."
"A wi—!" Rei nearly dropped the pan he had been holding to prepare for another egg. "That's—Ryou-nii, he is male—I am male—we, we're really just friends, okay?!" he burst out, his face and ears and neck all beet red while he tried very hard not to remember what he had imagined about the blonde when his mother mentioned his future wife. Watching this response, Ryouji snickered.
"Please—I can so tell you have it bad for each other," he said over his laughs. "Who the hell holds their friend's hand and tells them they'll text and then wave at them with that gross smile on their face? Maybe girls do, but not guys!" His eyes crinkled up mischievously as he smirked. "Oh wait, I forgot—you're in touch with your feminine self a lot. I guess you could be his wife instead!"
"You—you saw that?!" Rei burst out, dropping the spatula in the frying pan. When the sprays of oil flew off the pan and hit him, he yelped and quickly went to the sink to rinse off.
"Yeah—almost wish I hadn't, too. Seeing my virgin bro being all gross and lovey-dovey—it gave me the chills!" Ryouji said teasingly as he pretended to shudder.
"That is ridi—I was not doing anything of the sort!" Rei shouted, as his already-red face grew a shade darker.
"Boys? What are you talking about that's so fun?" Rei froze and Ryouji fought to control his laughter when their mother's voice floated down from upstairs.
"Just talking about Rei's future wife, Mom~!" Ryouji called, horrifying Rei. "Y'know, the one that lives right—"
"IT WAS NOTHING, MOTHER! NOTHING AT ALL!" the younger brunette barked, yelling over Ryouji's words. "AND STOP LAUGHING, RYOU-NII!"
Although she was a little confused, hearing her sons bickering made Ryuugazaki Reina smile. Taking in the whiff of omurice, she headed downstairs for the lunch that her younger son was making.
…
A few days had passed since Nagisa had first received the note from Hana-chan with the address of the hospital on it. Now, it was after school, and he was already home. Instead of opening the front door with his key, he had walked through the gate and stopped to stand in the yard. Angling his head up, he looked towards the window of Rei's bedroom in the lavender house next door. It wasn't closed, but the curtains were still drawn and were floating with the breeze.
He had agreed to give Rei some time to think, so they had not been chatting at their windows for these past few days. And while he was already missing the blue-haired boy, a part of him was feeling slightly relieved. After he had gone to that hospital—he wasn't so sure that he could keep a straight face around Rei anymore. "What have I done…?" he murmured to himself, as he thought of his first encounter with Saionji Yuuto.
Somehow, in the middle of all the confusion and shock, they had started holding a coherent conversation—and when Nagisa mentioned Rei's name to the light-haired boy, he had frozen up. When he somewhat recovered from his initial shock, the boy had pleaded with Nagisa to not tell Rei he was awake—at least, not yet. He had already been conscious for a week, he revealed, when Nagisa spoke to him a few days ago. He said that no one but his family knew he was conscious—and for now, he planned to keep things that way.
And while a part of Nagisa just wanted to scale the wall of the Ryuugazaki residence, crawl into Rei's room and blurt out to the brunette that the boy was awake, he was finally awake—he didn't feel like he was in any place to reveal what Saionji Yuuto himself had clearly been against revealing. And he knew that Rei had a lot of sorting out to do himself—that was the reason why he was still inside there, after all. He didn't want to do something that might upset him—that might force him to come outside when he wasn't ready to, or worse, cause him to hide himself inside again.
When he had introduced himself and finished hearing about how Saionji had woken up from his coma, a sudden flare of anger had welled up in Nagisa's heart. All the memories of Rei, the thought of how much he must have suffered all these years because of something that this pale boy in front of him had done—the blonde had had to fight to suppress the part of him that wanted to lash out at him, drag him by force out of the hospital and all the way to Rei, and make him apologize to the blue-haired boy.
But once Nagisa regained his composure, he told himself that that would not be what Rei wanted at all, that it wouldn't make the brunette happy—and he was firmly set against doing anything that made Rei unhappy. His friend had been unhappy for too long as it was, and Nagisa certainly wasn't going to add to that pile of unhappiness just because he couldn't keep control of his own emotions. Perhaps he had also attempted to remind himself that those past six years must have been a long time for Saionji Yuuto as well, that he should understand why the boy might not want to see Rei—but he couldn't really recall. And now, here Nagisa was, standing in his yard, staring at the house of the blue-haired boy that he both did and did not want to see at the moment—knowing that he was going to return to that hospital, again, probably before Rei would ever walk in there for the first time.
More than anything, Nagisa wanted to know. He wanted to know what Saionji Yuuto had to say about the situation six years ago. How the boy had regarded Rei. Why he had jumped out that window. A part of Nagisa wanted to keep Saionji away from Rei, if Rei was just going to come outside for that light-haired boy to hurt him all over again. Maybe he really had been naive about the whole situation—all he had focused on was telling Rei that it wasn't his fault, that Saionji would wake up for sure—but he realized now that he hadn't thought about what it might be like after Saionji actually did wake up. The prospect of anything less than a happy ending scared Nagisa, filled him with dread. He knew that if that turned out to be the case, he would not be able to stop it—but still… His hands clenched tightly into fists at his sides.
His burgundy eyes turned towards the maple tree, with its green summer leaves and elegant sloping branches. The tree that Rei had always loved to look at. His mind took him back five years to one fateful spring, when he and his family had first moved into the yellow house that his grandfather had left them in his will.
-Spring, Five Years Ago-
"Mom~ I'm bored~!" Ten-year-old Nagisa whined as he flopped around the kitchen, where his mother was fixing a quick lunch before they would have to continue unpacking their things.
"Sweetheart, I'm making lunch right now," Mrs. Hazuki said, preparing the ham for their sandwiches. "And I know you still have a lot of things to unpack, so why don't you start from there if you're bored?"
"But I don't want to!" Nagisa protested. "That's not fun—I've been unpacking since an hour ago, and it's tiring!" He trotted over to his mother and rubbed his head against her back in a puppy-like way. "I'm boooorrreeedddd~~~!" Mrs. Hazuki rolled her eye at how childish her now-fifth-grader son was being. Those daughters of hers—they had immediately found out that the family living across the street had two girls, and had gone over to say hi. They still weren't back, when they had so many things to unpack, and they had left their little brother behind. Sighing, she set the bread down on the plate and turned around, pinching both of Nagisa's cheeks with her hands. After Nagisa finished letting out a drawn-out wail, Mrs. Hazuki opened her mouth.
"You know, dear, one of the neighbors dropped by and she mentioned something interesting." At this, Nagisa's burgundy eyes lit up with curiosity. "She said that our neighbors right next door, in that lavender house—they have two sons. And one of them is your age." Upon hearing this news, Nagisa's eyes sparkled with hope.
"Really?! They're not all girls like they were last time?" The last house they had lived at, their next door neighbors had had four daughters—and that had just been the party for Nagisa, because some days his sisters would completely ignore him, and other days all seven of the girls would gang up on Nagisa and dress him up in girls' clothes like he was their Barbie doll. It had been a nightmare—and while hoping that the girls living across the street wouldn't be as brutal, the fact that there was a boy living right next door—a boy his own age—also made him feel hope.
He remembered that his bedroom window was right across from one of the windows in the lavender house. It had been closed with the curtains drawn the last time he had looked, but maybe, the blonde thought excitedly, it was open now. And maybe that boy his age would be there…
"I'll go and see if I can see him out the window!" With that cheerful remark, Nagisa disappeared as soon as he had appeared. Mrs. Hazuki laughed as she returned to making sandwiches.
He sat at the bedroom window, watching, and watching, and watching. He even did things like play a board game on his own and shoot marbles across his room (he didn't bother recollecting them, and now his room was unpacked and a mess) in-between to amuse himself, to make the wait less boring. When it was late evening and the window across from him still hadn't budged, he slumped over the windowsill with his arms and let out a drawn-out sigh. When he did the same the next day and the next, and still nothing changed outside, he was feeling quite discouraged. On the third day, during dinner, Nagisa was sitting at the kitchen table with a pouty face, his cheeks puffed out and his head resting on the tabletop.
"Are you sure he exists, Mom?" he asked reproachfully. When she saw her son sulking, Mrs. Hazuki smiled at him good-naturedly.
"Of course he exists, Nagisa. But you forgot that he probably has school—and you don't know that that bedroom is actually his."
"Then can I try going over to their house?" Nagisa asked, sitting up hopefully. "Maybe if we ring the bell, he'll come out—"
"Actually, I was planning to do that myself, dear. But right now, with all the unpacking, our hands are full." She gave Nagisa a look, as if reminding him that he still hadn't finished unpacking his things in the space of three whole days. "When we're done, I'll bake a new cake to take over to the family next door, and you can come with me then. You could even invite him over, after you finish unpacking your things, that is." Nagisa pouted.
"But that'll take forever—and I wanna meet him now—" he grumbled. After still managing to fit seconds and thirds of hamburger steak down his mouth despite the fact that he was in a mood, Nagisa returned to his room upstairs.
Sitting at the edge of his bed, the blonde stared at the window, out towards the lavender house next door. The window was still closed and the curtains drawn—and it was still dark inside. He wondered if the boy next door was a vampire—maybe he couldn't come out until it was night. Nagisa certainly hadn't seen a glimpse of him during the daytime. But even though the blonde spent the hour before his bedtime glancing out the window now and then while distracting himself with his toys, the light didn't turn on behind the window next door. When his mother came to tell him to go to sleep, the blonde crawled into bed reluctantly, a bit discouraged. Mrs. Hazuki ruffled her son's head affectionately and decided to see what she could do about unpacking faster, so that they could visit their next-door neighbors soon.
He had avoided looking out the window the next morning. As he walked around the room unpacking his things, he wondered if by the time he finished taking out his stuff, he would be rewarded with an open window waiting for him outside. Just when he had finished unpacking the last box and thrown the cardboard outside his room, he turned his eyes towards his bedroom window—
And the window across from his was still was closed, curtains drawn. Sighing, the blonde boy closed his bedroom door and padded over to the window gloomily. "When will he ever show up?" he mumbled to himself, disappointed. He had just draped himself over the windowsill as he had done a few times—when he heard a clicking sound coming from fifteen feet away. Immediately, his head snapped up and he stood up at the window, his hands on the windowsill trembling slightly in excitement. He watched with wide eyes at the curtains drew themselves open—the shutters were pushed out towards his direction—
And he was greeted by the most beautiful pair of violet eyes that he had ever seen. They widened behind the bright red frames of a pair of glasses, which sat atop a startled face framed with dark-blue hair. As Nagisa watched the boy at the window nearly fall over in surprise, his burgundy eyes shone with awe. So this was the boy who was his age, who lived next door to him—and all this time he had thought he might not exist or might even be a supernatural creature. This was the boy who he would befriend, who he would go to school with, who would be right there, right across from the window in his bedroom. Suddenly, a bright smile lit up the blonde's face—and he nearly shot out the window as he slammed his hands against the windowsill and shouted, "HI!"
That was when everything had started. Thinking that they might become best friends, Nagisa had chattered away excitedly, introducing himself, offering that the blue-haired boy with the violet eyes come over to his house—but things hadn't gone exactly as he had imagined. The boy had just barely told Nagisa his name—he was called 'Ryuugazaki Rei' ('Rei-chan!', the blonde had thought immediately in his head, and proceeded on to call him so, already partly thinking that this was fate, since he too had a girly name)—and he had given short, somewhat terse responses to all of the blonde's questions. Eventually, he had even bluntly refused Nagisa's invitation for him to play at his house—he had coldly told him to find someone else to play with, and slammed the window shut, even drawing the curtains closed. A bit hurt and deeply disappointed, Nagisa had let out a wistful sigh as he sat down with his back to the window, leaning against the wall.
"Rei-chan is so cold…" As he made this remark to himself, his eyes wandered a bit, and his eyes noticed something on the bookshelf sitting across from him. His face perking up, the blonde boy got up and scampered over to the bookshelf. Getting on his knees, he pulled out a book from the very bottom shelf, one that was sticking out a little more than the others: his favorite picture encyclopedia of bugs. He flipped through the pages and found what he was looking for. He crawled over to his bed and sat on it, the book sitting open in his lap.
The page was titled 'The Purple Emperor', and Nagisa's eyes sparkled as he looked at the pictures of his favorite butterfly—his favorite bug out of all bugs. His eyes searched out one of the photos—one of the species of butterfly perched on top of a tree, its usually bluer and darker wings shining an iridescent purple under the sunlight. As he stared at the photo, his wide burgundy eyes wavered with awe and a big smile full of crooked teeth lit up his whole face.
He realized that this was what the color of Rei's eyes had reminded him of. But as he compared the picture of the butterfly with those beautiful eyes in his recent memory, Nagisa realized that the shades were still a bit different, although they were very similar. The light that had bounced off those eyes when the blue-haired boy had been surprised—the slightly softer, startled glow that they took on at different points in their conversation—the spark that they took on when he was angry and the way their glow darkened slightly once—even when he had been in a negative mood, the brunette's eyes had been beautiful—even more beautiful than the butterfly in his book.
And suddenly, Nagisa was 100% positive that this was fate—the blue-haired boy lived right next door from him, occupied the room right across from his own bedroom window, and although he had found out that he would not be going to school with him, that didn't matter—the boy that had a girly name just like him, the boy with a hint of grudging kindness in his voice, the dark-haired boy with the beautiful violet eyes—he could still become friends with him. The thought of that possibility was what made his previous discouragement fly away, what filled his heart with hope of seeing the boy the next day.
And just as he had hoped, it had happened. His mother had woken up late because her alarm didn't ring—bless that alarm clock—and after she had shook him awake in his bed and left him to get dressed for the day, he had rubbed his eyes, walking over to his bedroom window—and had seen the window across from his being opened once again, by Rei. Since the blonde had to go to school, the encounter had been cut short—but when Nagisa tumbled out of the front door of his house with a piece of toast in his mouth and waved towards Rei's window, the blue-haired boy had waved back. It didn't matter that it had been a small, hesitant wave—it seemed that that was all the encouragement that the blonde needed to confirm that they would become the closest of friends.
From then on, he saw Rei more and more often as the days passed. Even when he was usually doing most of the talking, he would notice how Rei never ignored him or lost focus—he could tell from the glow in the boy's violet eyes that he was paying attention, was listening to everything he said. It made Nagisa feel happy and warm, and made him feel like he could go on and on talking forever, if it meant that the boy would keep looking his way with those beautiful eyes of his. Even though he never smiled at Nagisa, never laughed at his jokes—it didn't matter. He could still feel Rei's quiet, attentive kindness radiate from him, even sitting fifteen feet away from the brunette in his own bedroom. And until one day, he thought that he would be satisfied with the way that Rei stayed.
But then, that one day in the spring, Nagisa had seen it for the first time. He was pretty sure it was one of the most memorable moments of his life: the day he first asked Rei why he never talked about himself, the day that the white butterfly had flown between them and landed gently on Nagisa's mouth, as if it was kissing him. He had heard a voice that was not his own let out a single chuckle—which had soon turned into laughter. Nagisa almost didn't believe it when he heard it—and as he watched the blue-haired boy who had never cracked a smile, never laughed even once during the full month they had known each other, let out the beautiful sound from his open lips, the corners of his mouth lifted, eyes crinkled up gently in crescent shapes, his cheeks tinged slightly pink—it blew him away. The sparkle that Rei's violet eyes had taken on during the brief moment that he stayed smiling after calming down—it had taken his breath away. He had never guessed that the brunette's eyes, and every other part of him, could look so beyond beautiful when he was feeling joy—just like he had never foreseen the tingle of happiness he felt when the same brunette called him by his name for the first time, and called the two of them 'friends'. From that day, it had become Nagisa's mission to make Rei laugh, to make him smile—to make Rei smile at him. Every time he succeeded, which still didn't happen very frequently even after that day, he would feel an inexplicable surge of happiness welling in his heart.
Rei was not only there during Nagisa's happier days. He had also been there during his sadder ones, or during the times where he felt nervous or afraid. Rei had always been there—always was Nagisa's strength, his safe place, his home. When Nagisa thought he had ruined all that in the space of a few minutes on an autumn day, when he had realized that Rei had all but disappeared from his life, he had been devastated. As the years had gone by, the ache in his heart had dulled—but it had never completely gone away. Deep inside, he always knew that an important part of him was missing—and when he finally found it again, standing at the window after so long, looking different but still the same—the familiar warmth from Nagisa's past seemed to rush back into his life. When Rei showed up at the window again, when he said that they could still be friends—it had made the blonde feel so happy, and whole again.
And now, here they were—further along than Nagisa had ever imagined they would get, and hopefully that much closer as well. More than ever, Nagisa wanted to be there for Rei—he wanted to be Rei's strength just as much as Rei wanted to be his. He wanted to protect Rei, and he wanted to help him face his fears—and those two feelings battled for dominance within him as he currently stood in his yard, his eyes directed towards the lavender house next door, lost in thought.
Suddenly, Nagisa felt a strong pang of loneliness—the kind that came from being without the blue-haired boy. He wanted to see Rei, hear his voice, all of a sudden, although it had only been a few days since they had last seen each other. Swallowing, he found his hand reaching for the cell phone in his pocket.
"'How are you'?" He said the words to himself as he typed them out—then erased it. "'Are you doing all right?'" He erased that as well. "'I'm outside your house right now...'" He ended up erasing that one as well. None of that seemed to be the right thing to say. He frowned as he stared down at the screen on his cell phone. Then, he silently began typing out the message that he would send.
[I miss you a lot, Rei.] No –chan, no suffixes, with a period at the end. He sent the message with only the slightest hesitation.
He had returned to his room when he felt his phone vibrate. He flipped open the cell phone to find a reply from Rei.
[So do I.] The words made Nagisa's chest tighten as he stood next to the bed, staring down at them. Folding the phone, he clutched it to his chest as he closed his eyes and blinked back the sudden tears that threatened to attack his eyes.
One thing Nagisa knew, for sure, was that he wanted to be next to Rei no matter what.
…
The weeks quickly passed into summer vacation, and the air around the town of Iwatobi grew hotter with each day. School let out, and Nagisa spent his days relaxing, doing fun things with his family and friends. His third sister Nadeko was finally back from Osaka, having finished her summer job working for the college office. Even his father was back from working abroad, and although he was only able to stay for three weeks before the flight to his next overseas workplace, it was nice, finally having him back at home after years of being apart. And Naomi was still looking actively for a job, so she was at home as well. Knowing that the whole family had finally gathered home for the summer, Natsuki also dropped by often, sometimes on her own and sometimes with her husband accompanying her. Knowing that it made his mother happy to see all of them together again, Nagisa made sure to put aside a good amount of time for his family that summer.
Outside of his family, Nagisa also hung out with Haru and Makoto often. He popped over to Haru's house now and then with Makoto, and the three of them sat out on the house porch, eating watermelon (and sometimes mackerel, at Haru's insistence, even though the weather was really too hot for grilled fish) and just chatting about things. Nagisa even got the two of them (Haru without much difficulty, Makoto with some more difficulty) to watch a horror movie he had brought over to Haru's house. When the blonde was teasing Makoto too much and said that they should have a test of courage sometime soon, Haru had hit him lightly on the head with the trophy they had dug up that spring at their old swimming club. Once, they even went to the public pool to swim, and although Makoto had to pry Haru off the side of the pool at the end of the day, it had been fun and it had made Nagisa laugh. The blonde even tagged along with them to the annual summer squid festival, where he went on a mad dash through all the food stalls and ate enough squid-related and non-squid-related food for the three of them, perhaps even more.
Nagisa even saw his classmates a few times over break—he joined Komura and Yamazaki at the arcade, went to karaoke with the two of them, Hana-chan, and some of her female friends, and all of them also went to the movies together a few times. So all in all, the blonde could say that his summer vacation was generally fulfilling. But…
Things just weren't the same, with the window across from his bedroom empty. No matter where Nagisa was or who he was with, thoughts of the blue-haired boy invaded his mind, catching him off guard and making him want to see the brunette more and more. The blonde knew that Rei was taking his time working things out, that he would return as soon as he possibly could—but all the same, he missed Rei badly. The texts that he had sent the brunette on impulse helped with the loneliness, but they never made it go away completely. Rei never mentioned the specifics of how he was doing in his texts—just told Nagisa that he was fine, that he also missed the blonde, that he was glad Nagisa was having a good summer.
On the night of August 1st, when he returned to his room after a birthday celebration outside with his family, Nagisa noticed something sitting on the windowsill. Heart beating in anticipation, he reached the window in two strides and lifted the small box, wrapped in golden yellow gift wrap with a deep purple ribbon, up from the windowsill. He slowly untied the ribbon and carefully put it on his bedside table. He opened the box and once he saw what was in it, his eyes widened.
Inside was a beautiful glass globe, with a silver figure of a penguin with a butterfly sitting on its beak. There were burgundy colored sparkles sitting at the floor of the globe, and when Nagisa carefully took it out and gave it a shake, he found that they were in the shape of maple leaves. Watching the sparkles flutter around the globe, Nagisa's matching burgundy eyes were entranced by the beauty of the object, as well as the memories of his past with Rei that it brought back. When he looked back at the gift box, he found a note at the bottom of it, written out in neat handwriting.
{It reminded me of you. I hope you like it. –Rei}
He put the globe in a safe place on his bedside table, so that he could see it every day, first thing in the morning when he woke up. He stored the note from Rei away in a box full of his important keepsakes, tucked into the corner of his bottom drawer. Every time he was feeling lonely or missed the brunette next door, he lifted the globe from the bedside table to give it a shake and watched the leaves float around the space in the globe.
One night, he dreamed that he and Rei were ten again and was standing in a grove of trees, their leaves colored brilliant yellows, oranges, and reds. He dreamed that they played together, jumping into the piles that formed on the ground, laughing with each other amidst the falling leaves.
…
One thing he hadn't expected for his summer was the frequency with which he would visit one particular hospital in Iwatobi.
Surprisingly, Nagisa found the loneliness easiest to bear with when he was speaking to the most unexpected person. Maybe it was because Saionji Yuuto had personally known Rei—maybe it was because there were parts of the boy that were similar to Rei—it was probably some of both. But whatever the reason, Nagisa found that he was surprisingly comfortable talking about Rei to this frail boy, who he had only personally met a few weeks ago.
It was kind of unbelievable, how this strange friendship had come into the making and had progressed against all odds. At first, Nagisa was unwilling to admit that he now considered Saionji Yuuto a friend, because he had been angry at him for hurting Rei in the past—and even now, a part of him still was. But over the times that he, strangely enough, found himself visiting the hospital ward where the light-haired boy was waiting out his recovery, they had spent time talking to each other and had eventually become friends.
Although at first Saionji hadn't been willing to do so, he gradually began to open up and started talking about Rei. And maybe, given the situation, that shouldn't have made Nagisa so happy—but he couldn't help it. He loved hearing about what Rei was like in the past, before he had met him, when he had still used to go to school—although he sometimes felt stabs of jealousy when the light-haired boy's stories reminded him of the fact that the two of them had been close before Nagisa himself had known Rei at all. He knew that he also wanted to hear about the past from Rei's own lips, and he knew that there would definitely be a time for that—but for now, he focused on Saionji's versions of Rei's past. It was true, a large part of it was due to his own curiosity about Rei—but another part of it was due to the blonde's curiosity about Saionji himself. He wanted to know more about this quiet, frail boy, who Rei had considered his friend, and he wanted to know how he had viewed Rei in the past, what he thought of Rei right now.
What was immensely relieving—or should have been—was that Saionji never spoke about Rei in a resentful way. Nagisa didn't know if that was just because he was Rei's friend and Saionji didn't want to offend him, or because he genuinely had no ill thoughts about the blue-haired boy. Unlike Rei, whose emotions were easier to read and more straightforward, Nagisa felt like he shouldn't be taking Saionji's own emotions at face value. That was one key difference that he saw between him and Rei—although the boys did share similar interests, levels of intelligence, and were both introverted. Despite his small, frail build that made him look under his actual age, Nagisa felt that the light-haired boy was too solemn, too composed—too much like an adult. It made Nagisa wonder if there wasn't a frail child hiding behind that adult somewhere—but that part of him was probably not for the blonde to see. Still, he listened carefully to what Saionji said, how he acted, what mannerisms he displayed when he talked about Rei—and the rare moments when he talked about himself, as well. If the boy was knowingly or unknowingly throwing out important hints, Nagisa wanted to make sure that he caught them firmly with both hands.
It wasn't always just Saionji talking, either. Nagisa also shared stories about the days he had spent with Rei—everything from the moment they had met during childhood to their hiatus after Nagisa's fall from the maple tree, to the moment that they had found each other again in the spring of this year and everything that had happened since that time. Some things he left out, such as the fact that Rei had rarely used to leave his house—being sure that it would become a sensitive point for Saionji when he knew what caused it to happen—and the fact that both he and Rei had fought against Kanemiya recently, for the same reason. Nagisa thought that maybe he shouldn't have told Saionji about himself falling from the tree, either—he had seen a conflicted look flash across the boy's grey eyes before it was quickly concealed once more. And because of what he chose to kept hidden from Saionji, Nagisa had also had to tell a fib about why he hadn't been able to see Rei recently—he had lied to the boy that Rei had gone on a family vacation and wouldn't be back for a long time (he never specified the time, because he couldn't specify when Rei would 'be back' in reality either). During his visits to Saionji, Nagisa also took a good portion of his time talking about how much he missed Rei, how much he wanted to be back at the blue-haired boy's side at the moment.
It was when Nagisa was whining for the fourth time during a visit about wanting to see Rei that Saionji dropped a bomb in the conversation.
"Ryuugazaki-kun sure is lucky—to have someone like you who loves him so much."
The words caused Nagisa to freeze up on the spot. One word in particular. The fact that Saionji had said this so sincerely, with a gently knowing look in his grey eyes, just seemed to add to the gravity of this statement. It was different from all the teasing comments that his sisters had made (Naomi had filled Nadeko and Natsuki in on the details concerning Nagisa's and Rei's recent incident with Kanemiya, and they had resorted to teasing him constantly about it now) and even the blunt remarks that Haru dropped every now and then. There was no joking tone, no sarcasm or hesitation to be found in Saionji's voice. It was as if he had gently prodded Nagisa in the back when everyone else had just waved wildly at him from the sidelines—and that one prod had sent Nagisa toppling off a high, endless cliff.
The full-body blush hit the blonde with the strength of a cannonball, nearly knocking his heart out of his mouth in the process.
"I—I—I—" he stammered, his heart pounding uncontrollably. "I have—no idea what you're—" Seeing the blonde's obvious discomfort, Saionji smiled gently at him.
"Have you ever thought about it?" he asked, his voice unchallenging but earnest. The question struck the blonde speechless for a long moment…before he hesitantly opened his mouth.
"…Should I…?" Nagisa whispered, suddenly unsure of everything he had assumed up until then—definitely feeling a little afraid.
"It's up to you, Hazuki-kun." Saionji's voice was understanding, patient. "If I can tell you one thing I know for sure…it's that Ryuugazaki-kun would treasure you, no matter what. I'm pretty sure that you mean a lot to him—and he's always been that kind of person."
And that was all the encouragement that Nagisa needed. He sat there, in the hospital room, and thought—about all the times he had thought Rei was beautiful, all the times he had felt his heart flutter when he saw Rei smile or laugh—about how much he loved hearing Rei's voice, seeing Rei's eyes look at him as he listened to what he had to say, as if he were the only person in the world. About how not being able to see Rei during those years had ripped out a part of him—and all it had taken for the brunette to mend it back were seeing his face and a few sincere words that had come from the brunette's lips. About how Rei was everything—a friend, a mother, a brother, a home—about how much comfort he had been able to draw from just the brunette's presence. About how much he missed the younger boy—missed the feeling of his strong arms around his waist, his own head tucked in the crook of the brunette's neck, his face lying against that firm chest, and the boy's scent—remembering what it had been like to finally touch Rei for the first time in five years turned Nagisa's face a darker shade of beet red, if that was even possible. His hands clutched his burning cheeks as his burgundy eyes widened, quivering in an uncharacteristically flustered and conflicted way. This was bad—he really wanted to touch Rei again, now—fall into his arms just as he had done that night—hold his hand once again, squeeze all the affection he could into that one body part—
"The thought of never touching him again—I don't think I can stand it…!" The words flew out from between his lips in a bare whisper. At this admission, Saionji smiled, albeit with a slight bit of embarrassment at hearing those words, before speaking up.
"You really do miss him a lot." It was a simple statement, but it was definitely not a question. Nagisa nodded furiously, his eyes still fixed on his hands. He missed Rei—he missed every part of him—he missed the boy so badly. That alone should have been big enough of a hint—but it had been five years since they first met, there had been that long hiatus in-between, and they had known each other since their childhood…sure, it had made him feel absolutely elated when he had first seen Rei laugh, but…The blonde's burgundy eyes widened when that thought struck a chord in him.
"…What'll I do, Saionji-kun…?" His voice was deathly quiet—one could have heard a pin drop through it. "I think…I think I've loved Rei-chan…for a really long time…" His hands grasped the hem of his shirt tightly. "And I…all this time…I never noticed…" Now that the realization had finally struck him, the desire to see Rei increased tenfold and struck him even harder, so much that he almost couldn't stand it. He wanted to see the brunette, feel those violet eyes watching him, see his smile, hear his voice, hold his hand, hug him—all the feelings came in a whoosh and, suddenly, Nagisa couldn't sit still anymore.
"I'm happy for you," Saionji said earnestly. "I've never been in love before, so I don't know what it's like…but I'm sure it's a wonderful feeling."
"You…you don't think it's weird…?" Nagisa asked hesitantly, his voice small. "I mean, I'm a guy, and Rei-chan…"
"Maybe a little surprising…but not weird," Saionji replied gently. "Maybe it isn't even that surprising. All those times that I listened to you talk about him…I could sort of tell." He smiled thoughtfully. "Besides, I don't think I'm in any place to judge your feelings." Hearing that statement made Nagisa feel relieved—but at the same time, it made him feel sort of…complicated. The blonde buried his burning face in his hands and let out a drawn-out wail, his shoulders hunching up, his whole body curling into a ball on the chair where he was sitting.
"What'll I do, Saionji-kuun~~~?! This isn't even funny—I mean, how could I have not noticed, all this time~~~?! And now that I know, what'll I do about it? Now that I know, I really, really, really wanna see him—but at the same time, I feel like I'll see him and then I'll run away—or I'll seriously start stuttering or crying or something stupid like that~~~!" Saionji just looked at the blonde, slightly amused but mostly sympathetic.
"I don't think I can help you out with that much…sorry, Hazuki-kun. But you probably shouldn't run away or hide from him—I think that might hurt his feelings." Snapping to attention, Nagisa raised his flushed face towards Saionji.
"You're totally right—I mean, when he hid inside his house and never came out for years after I fell from that maple tree, I was totally hurt too—"
Wait. Nagisa's eyes widened as he stopped in mid-sentence. When he realized what he had just said, he slowly turned his horrified eyes towards Saionji. The light-haired boy was no longer smiling—but strangely enough, he didn't seem too shocked either. It was as if he had foreseen hearing this. The look in his eyes was a little grim, but they also shone with determination as he looked the blonde in the eye.
"I was planning to ask you about that, sooner or later." His voice was composed and serious.
"Hazuki-kun, you said Ryuugazaki-kun was homeschooled now. But you never told me since when, and why. And it was strange, never hearing about you guys meeting outside your houses—not even once." His grey eyes bore into Nagisa's burgundy ones with firmness. "And you said that he went on a vacation with his family, but I've never heard where, or when he'll be back—but is he really on a vacation right now?" His eyes dropped briefly to his lap.
"I…I always thought that something was strange. But I never asked you because…because I was afraid to find out the truth. But…" His eyes swiveled back towards the blonde. "If—if something is wrong—if something has been wrong with Ryuugazaki-kun—and if I'm responsible for it—" His pale hands gripped the edge of his sheets tightly. "I need to know, Hazuki-kun. I won't blame you if you've covered some things up until now, since I was at fault for not suspecting you outright—but if you know anything, and there's anything that you chose not to mention on purpose—please tell me." His grey eyes were firm and unmoving. "I won't run away anymore—I need to know the truth now. Please."
Struck speechless for a moment, Nagisa stared back at those grey eyes, his mouth agape and unable to say anything for a moment. Then, he slowly nodded, if a bit hesitantly.
"I—I won't tell you everything that Rei-chan told me, because I think that he should be the one to tell you some of that directly in person. But…I'll tell you about some of it." He took a deep breath—and proceeded to tell Saionji what he could. When Rei had started being homeschooled, the fact that Rei hadn't went outside the house for years, the fight they had with Kanemiya, and why Rei was not back outside yet. When he finished, Saionji's hands were fisted into his sheets and shaking slightly on top of his lap.
"He's sorting himself out right now, Saionji-kun. I don't know how much longer it'll take—I haven't seen him in person since the day that we saw Kanemiya—but he'll come back out for sure. He promised. And…I think you can guess that he was shocked…by what happened six years ago." Nagisa said the last words quietly. "The way he felt then, and the way he feels now—you're going to have to hear them from him yourself." His next words were gentle but firm. "I think it's about time he knew."
"…You're right." Nagisa breathed out quietly in relief when he heard this response. "It's about time…that I faced him. I owe him that."
"…Do you want me to tell him for you?" Nagisa asked. Saionji looked at Nagisa hesitantly, then nodded.
"Just…tell him that I'm awake. And that…I have something to tell him. If…if he's willing to come and listen to me, after all these years. Tell him he can come whenever he wants." The grey-eyed boy smiled faintly. Nagisa nodded.
"It'll be all right," the blonde offered, wanting to be helpful. At the same time, he feared that Rei might get hurt—he couldn't read what exactly was on Saionji's mind at the moment. As if sensing this, Saionji gave Nagisa an apologetic smile.
"—I'm sorry that you had to be in this situation," he said quietly. "I know how much Ryuugazaki-kun means to you—and I wouldn't have blamed you, if you hated me for what I did to him in the past." Upon hearing this, Nagisa shook his head.
"I…It's true. I might have resented you a little," the blonde admitted. "But now, I know you myself…and I don't think you're such a bad guy." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I mean, what good would it do anyone, for an outsider like me to hate you?" Pausing, the blonde looked at Saionji with slightly pleading eyes.
"Just…please try not to hurt him too much." His voice quivered slightly and instantly he wanted to slap himself for saying such a thing, when Saionji must already be nervous.
"…I'll try my best," Saionji promised. "I…I don't want to hurt Ryuugazaki-kun either." It made Nagisa relieved, hearing that last sentence. He stood up from his chair, with one last glance at the light-haired boy.
"I'll be going now, then." He paused. "I'll tell Rei-chan…when I get home." Saionji nodded.
Before Nagisa went out the door, he heard the light-haired boy call his name.
"Hazuki-kun!" When the blonde turned around, the light-haired boy smiled gratefully at him.
"Thank you." Nagisa's eyes widened slightly, before he smiled back and gave a small nod before walking out.
...
End Notes: The second(?) climax is coming up soon! :) And our dear blonde shota has finally had an awakening! xD And he thinks Rei is the dense one...;) I hope you guys liked this chapter!