Chapter 10~ Getting better
I've been living in the school for about three weeks now and still, we can't seem to figure out what's wrong with me. I helped five other people find out their problems and help themselves. Why the hell can't I figure out what's wrong with me?
"Hey Sasuke…?" I looked down at Chouji who seemed nervous. "Can you… help me?" he asked almost too quietly.
"Sure Chouji." I said softly. I turned to face him. I tossed him a bag of chips and he started eating, but he frowned as he did it. I noticed the way his eyes flicked over to a picture on the wall constantly.
"If you like him so much, why not tell him?" I asked. He blinked up at me. "You eat because you're depressed because you feel strange because you like another boy. You want him to notice you so you gorge yourself hoping to catch his attention but it doesn't make you happy because it's not enough. You want him to hold you and kiss you and make love to you."
"What?" He backed away from me. "Next time you see Shikamaru, look at him good and hard, and listen to what your body's telling you. You'll see. And don't think that he doesn't feel the same way. Shikamaru's very close you and it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't." I said quietly.
"Thank you Sasuke!" he said excitedly. I nodded slowly and laid on my back once more, staring at the ceiling. "Your tests are coming in today aren't they?"
"Yeah… I'm really nervous." I whispered. And Naruto's coming in to talk about me. Then we're going home for his birthday tomorrow." I smiled softly and thought of Naruto. I hoped he'd be happy to see me.
"Nii-san! Nii-sa, Nii-san, Nii-san!!" Naruto's voice yelled. I rolled from the bed and stared at the door in amazement. They couldn't be here already could they? "-!!!!!" Ypu, that was definitely Naruto. I ran from the room, fumbling with the door handle before running out to see him running my way as well. He jumped into my arms and I spun in a circle and held him close as he laughed.
"Ah, You found him Naruto-kun." I looked over at Shizune as she came close, followed by Kakashi and Iruka. "I was just coming to get you Sasuke. Come on, let's go to my office." She led the way and I walked, Squeezing the life out of my little Naruto.
"Maa, Nii-san! You're crushing my lungs." He whined. I released my grip to kiss him all over his face which kept him giggling until a bunch of girls we passed by cooed at him and he got embarrassed. "Nii-san, won't they make fun of you?" he asked.
"If they do, I'll beat them up." I said simply. He giggled.
"Have a seat anywhere boys." Shizune motioned her hand around the room. I sat right next to her desk with Naruto in my lap while Iruka sat beside Kakashi in front of it. It seemed he was restraining himself from holding the other sensei's hand.
"Alright, we're going to review what you all told me." Shizuna pulled out several pieces of paper. "Hatake-san, you said that Sasuke is normal and calm around ten, eleven at night until seven in the morning?"
"Yes ma'am. Around then he's like he used to be. During the rest of the day though… he seems depressed, tired, weak, you get the idea." Kakashi nodded.
"And Umino-san, you said you noticed the same pattern?"
"Yes, at first I thought maybe the depression kicking in was the medicine wearing off but then he told me he takes it in the morning. Around five." Iruka said slowly.
"Hmmm, so what do you have to say about this Naruto? Did you notice it too?" She smiled at him from over the desk.
"Yup. It's the medicine. Because when Nii-san forgets to take it he has a good day. But those mean doctors tell him if he doesn't take it they'll put him in a padded room where he'll never see me again." Naruto blushed. "I'm sorry Nii-san, I didn't mean to earsdrop." He said. I chuckled.
"Eavesdrop, Naruto." I said. I thought about what he said and suddenly the answer was right in front of my face.
"SSRIs can have some serious negative side effects if not taken properly. Taken by a subject who doesn't have a neurotransmitter issue, it can cause weakness, sleep deprivation, suicidal thoughts and feelings, and a few other negative side effects." I clenched my eyes shut and lowered my head.
"So those bastards have been forcing me into these… suicidal fits. I wondered why I'd never been sad about anything like that once the entire time I've been here." I said.
"I will inform the court of the unprofessional actions of these doctors and you can dump those pills down the drain. You're cured Sasuke." She said. "You can go home with Naruto today, and stay there." She promised. I nodded slowly with a smile.
"I'm staying with you Naruto." I said. He hugged me tightly now.
"It's the best birthday present ever." He whispered softly, lovingly. "Let's go get you're stuff." He dragged me to my room where Chouji and Shikamaru were heatedly making out. I quickly pushed Naruto back and slammed the door shut.
"WHEW!" I said loudly. I heard a couple thumps and some coughing coming from the room. "You done yet?" I asked with a dark blush.
"Y-yeah!" Chouji squeeked. I went back in to see him reading a magazine and Shikamaru was on the floor pretending to sleep while trying to hide a boner.
"I'm leaving today so you two will have the room all to yourselves." I said, grabbing my bag and throwing my stuff on it. Genyuumaru had left reluctantly with his parents a few days before.
"Then you'll leave Chouji and I'll be all by myself." Shikamaru sighed.
"nope, I'm going to stay. When we get out, it'll be together." Chouji said firmly. Shikamaru smiled and nodded.
"Hi! I'm Naruto!" Naruto said to both of them.
"Hey squirt, you do look just like he said." Shikamaru sat up and ruffled the boy's hair. He chuckled at the confused face he got. "You're all mr. shots talks about. The whole time he was here it was "Naruto this," or "Naruto that," or "This one time me and Naruto," it was a nightmare!"
"Nii-san! Why do you always have to embarrass me?" He whined pitifully.
"Embarrass you? I'm the one getting made fun of." I said with a huff. I slung my bag over my shoulder. I nodded to Shika and Chouji. "Give me a call sometime, guys. We can hang out." I said.
"Hey Sasuke, wait!" Chouji grabbed my arm. "Thank you… for everything. You helped me realize what was wrong with me. I used to want to be skinny but then I met Shikamaru and thought he'd only like me if I was fat… You helped me realize how wrong I was." He hugged me. "You'll always be my fried right?"
"Of course Chouji." I promised. I picked up Naruto and walked out to the car after saying goodbye to Shizune. I know I still love Naruto, and that's where all the shit starts isn't it?
"Happy ninth birthday Naruto." I whispered softly, kissing his forehead. He smiled blearily up at me.
"Good morning Nii-san." He said with a sleepy yawn. I picked him up and carried him to the kitchen table. I made him pancakes and sausage and eggs. "Yummy!" He said excitedly. I smiled and watched him. "Are you driving?" he asked when he noticed I grabbed a ring of keys.
"I got my license while I was there." I said. "And Shizune-chan took me to buy a car." I said. When he finished put his dishes in the sink and gave him the presents I got for him.
"you're spending a lot of money Nii-san." He said simply, staring at me. I chuckled.
"I got a new source of income. Now I can afford to." I told him. I could afford to before I just didn't really want to. Back then I had wanted to use my own money that I made myself. Now I'm making triple what I made working in the bar.
"a new one?" he tilted his head as he got dressed. My eyes quickly swept over his small chest and I tried to control myself. It was easy.
"Yeah, you are now living with the new CEO of Uchiha Industries." I told him with a smirk.
"SUGOI!" he yelled. His eyes were sparkling with amazement. "What does that do?"
"Uchiha Industries is a video production company." I said. "All those scary movies I watch, it's made by them. They're the biggest film and animation company in the world." I told him. His jaw dropped. "And now I'm the head of the company." He jumped on me, screaming how amazing I was. I just chuckled and carried him to my new Ford Fusion. He thought that was also amazing.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" People screamed as Naruto stepped inside the house of Iruka and Kakashi. All his friends were there, and several of mine came to see him. Genyuumaru was there, talking animatedly with Sai, a ten-year old who lived with Suigetsu and called him Nee-chan. Suigetsu was flirting with Kiba who was ignoring him. But there was one face in the crowd, a pair of eyes in the corner that drew me as soon as Iruka whisked Naruto off to see everyone.
Not seeing him in so long made it hard not to cry when I looked upon his face. His bangs were longer, his hair was in its low ponytail. He wasn't smiling, nor was he frowning.
"How… how are you holding up?" he asked softly.
"Fine." I leaned against the wall beside him. "My psychologist told me that the reason I'm not bothered all that much by my… experiences is that I'm forcing myself to separate the feelings from the memory. I still see their faces in my nightmares but… there's no fear. There's no hatred or anger. Only emptiness. And as long as I have Naruto, I'll never feel loss for Dad and Mom."
"That's good…" he was silent.
"What about you Aniki?" I asked quietly.
"I'm… you've been sending money into my bank account." He said softly. "Did you think I can't take care of myself?"
"No, it's just there to remind you that you're still my brother and I still love you. If you need something, don't hesitate to ask." I said. He nodded slowly.
"The Pein took me in. I met Deidara through him and Deidara told me a lot about you. That's how I've been keeping tabs on you… but…"
"But you're falling for the blond eh? The loudmouth does that to people. Do you like the tattoos on his hands?" I smirked at his questioning gaze. So he didn't know.
"I have yet to see them." He said.
"Tell me when you two start screwing… or maybe I'll ask Deidara." I said walking away, watching him blush slightly and leave rather quickly. I walked to Naruto and let him open all his presents. He looked at me curiously and I gave him a wink.
"Happy birthday Naru-chan." Kiba said, handing him a box and giving him a kiss on his cheek. My fists clenched tightly. He scurried away when he sensed my bloodlust.
"Nii-san, look! Kiba gave me a jacket!" he held up an orange jumpsuit jacket. I smiled and ruffled his hair. "I'll tell him thank you when he comes back." He hummed happily. He kept opening presents, crying most of the time and thanking everyone five times at least.
We rushed through cake and ice cream and moved on to the piñata. I chuckled when he was spun around five times and he dizzily tried to hit the dog-shaped box of candy. (Coincidence? I think NOT!). I laughed harder when he hit Kiba with the damn thing.
"If it's so funny, then you do it Nii-san!" he huffed out. They put the bandana over my eyes and spun me around a lot. When it was done I took a deep breath and used the force. I smashed the stick over Kiba's head.
I heard excited yelling and another sound and pulled off the bandana. Candy was all over the floor and the piñata was split in half. "Damn. I missed." I muttered.
"What are you talking about? You hit the piñata." Kiba pointed out. I looked at him.
"I wasn't trying to hit the piñata." I said icily.
"Then what were you… oh…" he gulped and ran from me once more. I nodded and looked at Naruto and the other kids who were hurriedly scooping up candy. Naruto was letting the others get the candy. Little bastard knew he'd get to get a whole hell of a lot more when we got home.
I looked around lazily and saw Genyuumaru and Suigetsu locked in a heated embrace. With a loud throat clearing they broke it up and blushed heavily. For some reason, seeing the two of them like that angered me too. I know I love Naruto but seeing them… my ex and my new friend doing that… I felt kind of betrayed.
"sing for us nii-san!" Naruto ordered, pulling my arm. I turned my attention to him and smiled slightly. I sat on the couch and pulled him into my arms.
"Alright alright. Let's see here… Take the light and darken everything around me. Call the clouds and listen closely, I'm lost without you." I started out. "Call your name everday when I feel so helpless. I'm falling down, but I'll rise above this, rise above this. Hate the mind, regrets are better left unspoken. For all we know, this void will grow. And everything's in vain. Distressing you though it leaves me open. Feels so right, that I'll end this all before it gets me."
He grabbed my hands. "Call your name every day, when I feel so helpless. I'm falling down, but I'll rise above this, rise above this." I sang the chorus twice, having the children cling to me. "But I'll rise above this, rise above this doubt. I'll mend myself before it gets me. I'll mend myself before it gets me. I'll mend myself before it gets me. I'll mend myself before it gets me. Call your name every day when I feel so helpless. I'm falling down, but I'll rise above this, rise above this. Forty-eight ways to say that I'm feeling helpless. I'm falling down but I'll rise above this, rise above this doubt." I finished singing and heard a mass of little hands clapping.
I took Naruto home later and tucked him in the bed. "I love you Naruto." I said with a smile. He looked around his room with wide eyes. It was painted with me and him laying in a flowery field with Kyuubi between us and mom and dad off to the side watching with smiles and angel wings. His eyes teared up.
"I love you too Nii-san." He whispered. "Can you sleep in here with me tonight? I missed you too much."
"Sure thing." I crawled beneath the blankets with him and pulled him up against me. "Good night Naruto. My angel." I kissed his brow. "I found a way to let you in… but I never really had a doubt. Standing in the light of your halo, I got my angel now. It's live I've been awakened. Every rule I had you're breaking. It's the risk that I'm taking. I'm never gonna shut you out."
His eyes slipped shut. "Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can feel you're halo, you know you're my saving grace. You're everything I need and more, it's written all over your face. Baby I can see your halo, pray it won't fade away."