Tony had returned from his bath wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt with Aerosmith on it. His feet were bare as he walked out into the living room and sat in his recliner.

Jet wandered over and put her head on his knee. He rubbed her head and was quiet for a minute. Then he said "Someone has been lighting my candles again. I can smell the cinnamon in the background."

Emily smiled. "That was me, thought maybe you needed something comforting. "

Tony nodded. "I guess I do. Are you staying for dinner with us Pen?"

Penelope replied "No but thank you, I think you two need a little alone time right now to just be."

He gave her a hug. "You're welcome here anytime, Jet would be unhappy if Aunt Penelope stopped coming around."

She smiled. "Well I do love that puppy and Sergio a lot." Then she went out the door.

Tony said "So do we want Rossi's manicotti or Penelope's macaroni and cheese tonight?"

She replied "The macaroni and cheese is still warm. We can have the manicotti on another night."

He said "Well then follow me into the kitchen and I'll get it ready for us."

She nodded. "Ok." She walked slowly behind him being careful of her knee as she did.

He got two plates out and some forks and then a serving spoon for the macaroni and cheese. He made up their plates and handed her one before putting his own on the table.

"I think my mom would have liked you Em."

She took a bite of macaroni and then replied "Really?"

He nodded. "She would say that I needed a strong woman who would get my job and also be able to handle me."

She smiled. "Well thank you, since I do the same one at the moment it's easy to get. As for strong well sometimes I can be and others not so much." She ate some macaroni while Tony did as well.

"My mom is on my mind right now." he said. "Sometimes more than others. When someone leaves I think about her and miss her a lot."

She held his hand. "I'm sorry, you still needed her and I think it was what made things with your dad the way they are."

He shrugged. "That or the fact that I was the only time she managed to carry a baby to term. There was a girl before me who made it six months. Senior wanted a little girl a lot. They named her Carmen. She and my mom are buried in New York. She picked the name Anthony Junior. I was going to be Nicholas if Senior had had his way. I wonder if that baby had lived if they would have had me. It was hard between them after. Then the cancer came. She ended it with red wine and some sleeping pills when she was on borrowed time. She was pregnant again and didn't want treatment to have the baby. Then my other sister would have been born. I carry a lot honey. Some of this Penelope doesn't even know about when I grew up."

She held his hand gently. "That tells me more about you. You have a hard time letting people into your life and when you do you will be very loyal until they hurt you or leave. I'm here and I am not going anywhere."

Tony stood up and then came back with a blue bound book that looked like an album. "I want to show you something or someone. This is my mom Arabella. The first woman that broke my heart possibly."

She said "She was a beautiful woman, you have her eyes and her chin."

He replied "Do you think so?"

She smiled. "And her big heart too."

His face got a little red. "Thank you honey that's sweet."

Then he turned a page in the book. "That is my first partner and friend Kaitlin "Kate" Todd. She was with the Secret Service when I met her, came to us when a navy commander who was supposed to carry the ball on Air Force one stroked out. She was my partner for a few years. Even was there when I had pneumonic plague. Moral of the story don't ever open an envelope with lipstick on it at work. She stayed in isolation with me even though she wasn't infected. I have asthma as a reminder now." "Ziva's half-brother Ari Haswari killed her."

He exhaled for a moment. "Then there was Paula Cassidy. We were flirt buddies and spent a night together, Met on a case in Cuba. She got me started on rum, liked hers with a lime wedge while I am more of a just that guy. She could dance."

Emily said "She's beautiful too."

He said "I know you heard about me and a French arms dealer's daughter. Fornell knew that mess happened. Our former director's vendetta that I got assigned to undercover. Her name was Jeanne Benoit. Hate that I hurt her."

Then he was quiet.

Emily held his hand. "We all have a past. I got pregnant at fifteen when I was living in Rome. My boyfriend John at the time was the father. I went and well had it terminated. Another friend Matthew claimed responsibility and it led to him being shut out of his family. He never got over it and I lost him a while back."
Tony touched her face. "I'm sorry, you were too young to go through that with no support."

She shrugged. "Some days I wonder what might have been but then I wouldn't have my life now or you if things had been different."

He smiled at her. "I am glad that I have you in my life. We need each other."

"Yes we do. I am here to help you with whatever you feel or don't feel about Ziva. I know she was your partner before things happened so it would be normal to miss when things were good between you." Emily said.

He sighed. "It's just complicated. I had to trust her when she was placed on our team due to Director Shepard. We really didn't get much of an opinion. And she did save Gibbs from Ari so I guess he felt her owed her in return for that situation. For a while she seemed to want to learn from us and liked working at NCIS. She wasn't in contact with her father either for quite a while."

"I just don't know if I will have to answer questions again about this or go to Tel Aviv. It's all up in the air. I am sure Hotch would want me to take some time while you are healing but I need to work. If I think too much about it it will just make me crazy."

She nodded. "I understand, but know that the team will be there for you with whatever you need. I am sure Gibbs and your old one will be too. People have your back Tony. You're not alone anymore." She kissed his cheek gently.

He smiled. "Thanks angel I needed that. You are very good at giving me reality checks when I need it most."