Chapter 11
"I didn't grow up in the forest with Brian Ferry. I had…I've got two sisters. Noelle and Julia. Noelle's younger than me, Julia's older. I lived with them. Well, I say lived. I shared a house with them. Occasionally. My mother, my biological mother, wasn't…mentally stable. Her name was Fiona. She was abusive. I don't blame her, though. I was horrible…evil. I…I hurt them, Naboo. I hurt them all. Even Noelle. She was four years old. Fiona stopped feeding me about a year later. I was ten years old. She would lock food away. She made a point of cooking for Noelle and Julia. I worked, stole, and begged to eat. Ten years old, and I was supporting myself. I slept rough a lot, if was safer. For everyone. I tried to kill Julia once. I went at her throat with a knife. Fiona got in the way; I cut her hand instead.
She threw me out when I was almost twelve. I could look after myself, but people started asking questions. It was a small village, and people noticed me wandering the streets. I knew I had to leave, so I did. I ran away to London. Nobody would notice me there. Who would notice one more homeless kid on the streets of England's capital? No-one. That's when I stopped eating. Long story short, I got a job at the zoo, met Howard, moved in with him, we moved in with you… well, you were there for the rest. That's the story of my life." I stop, taking a deep breath. Even with my head lowered, I can feel him watching me. I wish he'd say something. Anything. "Naboo?" There's a pause, then:
"Ok."
"Ok?" I ask , confused.
"Ok." There's another pause. "What else?"
"What…what do you mean?"
"What else are you doing? I can tell there's something else."
"How?"
"I just can. Now, tell me about it."
"I'm self-harming. Cutting."
"With what?"
"A razor blade."
"Go and get it." I leave the room and fetch it obediently. When I return, I hand it to him, and he tucks it into a pocket in his robes.
"I'm not sleeping either."
"I know. Nightmares, yes?" It amazes me how much he knows.
"Yeah. Well, kind of. More…memories. I can hear them, Noelle and Julia, crying. Not just when I'm asleep. All the time." He takes my hands in his.
"It'll get better. I promise." I raise my head and my eyes meet his. He seems genuinely honest.
"Ok."