Chapter Eleven- Stuck

Sunlight hit her face and she winced. It wasn't that she was not use to being woken up by evil sunbeams that bathed her room in light. It was the fact that today, this morning actually, she didn't particularly want to wake up because she felt exhausted though she didn't quite remember why. She pulled the covers up above her head and rolled over only to find something blocking her way. Peeking over the cover, which she noticed were a deep red color, to see Harry Potter sleeping peacefully, snoring slightly. The mental images of their after party festivities flashed through her mind at rapid speed and made her blush profusely.

Slowly getting out of his bed, so as not to disturb him and have an awkward moment, she inched closer and closer to the edge till she was standing barefoot on the floor. She walked around the room picking up her discarded clothes and dressed as quickly and quietly as she could without waking up her ex-husband whom she had relations with the previous night.

"Morning."

Kali turned toward the bed to find that Harry was now sitting up with the sheets lying haphazardly about his waist. She brushed a frazzled lock of hair behind her ear and avoided looking at him.

"Morning Harry," she replied. "Um, I… I better go back to my room."

"Why?" he asked.

Frankly, Kali couldn't think of a viable reason either. She just wanted to be alone and think and maybe find some calming potion or some Draught of Peace, anything to calm her racing heart. Here she was thirty-five, dating a nice man whom she worked with and she slept with her ex-husband! This was like a trashy romance novel or soap opera. Now that she thought about it, her whole life was like a bad soap opera.

"Kali?"

She snapped out her thoughts and looked blankly at him. "I just need to get ready and such."

"Ready for what?"

"Going out," she said quickly.

"Where?" he asked.

"Out."

"Out where?" he persisted.

She sighed, "Can't I lie without getting interrogated for once?"

"No, I don't want you to think you can get away from me by lying." He asked, "Why are you trying to run away? I thought you wanted last night to happen."

"I was caught up in the moment," she had concluded. "But I realize now that it was all just a big mistake."

"A mistake?" he asked, a bit offended.

"Yes, a mistake," she said firmer.

"Bullocks, Kali." He stood, careful to make sure that the sheet stayed wrapped around his waist.

"It's true, Harry. I have a boyfriend and I am happy with him and my life the way it is."

"So happy that you took potions to act normal!" Harry yelled.

"That's not fair! You don't understand anything about me!" she shouted back.

He closed the distance between them; his darkened eyes held her gaze. "Then make me!"

"I'm not Kali Lupin!"

Will looked up from the red leather tome and looked across the table where a small dirty-blonde girl sat, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. To the normal passerby the two might seem odd, a Slytherin and a Gryffindor sitting together in peace? But to Will, the scene was odd because of a completely different reason.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

Elizabeth looked up, surprised, then regarded him curiously. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're drumming your fingers."

"So?"

"You never drum your fingers," he explained.

"Never? We've only been spending time together the last few weeks," she observed.

"And a majority of that time is spent studying. So, what's the matter?" he asked, knowing he'd won the argument.

She looked up to make sure no other students were close to them then leaned as close to Will as could. "Promise to not tell anyone?" she whispered. He nodded. "I'm betrothed."

"Betrothed?!"

"Shhh, keep your voice down."

"Who?" he whispered back.

She glanced nervously around. "My father made a deal with Mister Avery when I was still a baby. He promised that when I become of age, I would marry his son, Anthony. I don't want to marry him. I don't even like the git, but I'm stuck."

"Refuse. Why do you have to listen to anything your father says?" Will added, "He doesn't even see you, ever!"

She shifted uncomfortably. "He has his reasons, Will, and you should know that betrothal agreements are binding legal contracts." She paused and took a deep breath. "Aunt Daphne said she couldn't find any loophole in it. I'm stuck."

"We'll figure something out," he said seriously.

Elizabeth checked her watch then stood quickly. "I'm late!"

"For what?"

"My appointment with Professor Lupin! I'm sorry, Will. I have to go!" she explained before dashing out of the library.

Harry reeled back, not expecting the response he had just received. He realized that her reddened cheeks were wet from tears that she had begun to shed, tears he had caused her. He suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt and shame.

"I'm not her and I'm not Kali Potter," she continued. "I'm nothing like the person that everyone use to know. She died over a decade ago! I only look like her!"

"Kali…" He reached out to comfort her but she stepped away from his touch.

"I don't even know who I am. All I know is that everyone wants me to pretend to be this woman who I don't really remember," she explained. "I don't know how to be her. I don't know how to be a friend. I don't know how to be a mother. I don't know how to be a daughter and I don't know how to be a wife. For once in my whole life, I don't know how to do anything and it's killing me!"

"Kali…" he said a little more forcefully, but she didn't seem to hear him again.

"Everyone expects me to be this great person," she ranted. "This woman who was so great at everything!"

"She baked terrible cakes."

Kali stopped her rant dead. "What?" she asked.

"She baked terrible cakes," Harry repeated.

"Really?"

"Yes," he reassured as he nodded his head in agreement with himself. "I only ate them to be nice. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. They were atrocious! Worse than some of the potions Pomfrey use to give me. And her eggs are too dry and bacon too crispy…"

Kali laughed. "Was it really that bad?"

"It wasn't Hagrid bad but close."

"I never knew."

"I never wanted you to know."

Kali sighed, visibly frustrated still. She began rubbing her forehead like she was trying to massage away a headache. "What a pair we are."

"What do you mean?" he asked, not sure where she was going.

"Remember our sixth year, Harry?"

"What part?"

She looked up at him sorrowfully with a faraway look in her blue eyes. "The wish world," she answered simply.

"Oh, that," he whispered as he set himself down on the edge of his king-sized bed. "I thought we both agreed not to think about that place."

"I lied." She crossed the room and sat on the bed next to him, but she never looked at him. She kept her staring at the wall in front of them. "I think about it often, especially lately. I think about how wonderful their lives must be like." She paused causing Harry to turn and look at her. He studied her stoic face which broke into a small smile. "Maybe they became professional quidditch players on the same team or rival teams and T.J. and Rose are married too and we have nieces and nephews to spoil and we have lots of kids too. We're one big happy family and everything is nice. Everything is safe, the way it should have been."

"You shouldn't wonder about them," Harry told her. "To us, and everyone else in our world, they don't exist. They never did. It was just a brief glimpse of a what-if that can never happen. You have to forget about it and them." He reached over with his left hand and gently laced his fingers with hers causing her to look down at them. She noticed that his thumb was softly stroking her hand. "You need to focus on what's real. This world. This house. This Room. Me…"

Sighing, she leaned her head on his shoulder as he hugged her close. "When did everything get so messed up?"

"November first."

She laughed slightly. "So very true, but you know what?"

"What?" he asked.

"I'd do it again, all of it. I've never regretted anything I've ever done and I don't think I want to start now," she explained. Kali turned her head just enough to look up into his face. His green eyes expressed confusion, but shone with what little faith and hope he had left. "I don't want to start now."

She leaned up as far as she could and he met her halfway, covering her mouth with his. Her arms wrapped around his torso as if he were her lifeline as the kiss deepened. Harry cradled the back of her head with his larger hand as the other ran through her soft hair. He pulled away from her and whispered her name huskily.

"Harry, I… I love you," she declared apprehensively.

He blinked rapidly, trying to figure out if he wondered into some sort of dream, but she smiled at him and his doubt seemed to melt in its glow.

"I've always loved you, Kali," he began. "And I always will. You are my other half. You make me, me. You…"

Kali gently laid two fingers on his lips, effectively silencing him. "I know exactly what you mean, Harry."