Sorry about the wait (I'll be better next time). A mixture of writer's block and friends coming to visit me made this chapter extra difficult. If it's not well received I'll just rewrite it. So be honest in the reviews if you didn't enjoy.
My entire body ached, I was covered in blood and sweat, and the anger I felt toward myself for my stupidity was tremendous. The leather couch I was laying on clung to my skin like glue- not that I was very capable of movement, anyway. The long gashes across my back rendered me practically immobile.
I desperately wanted a bath and the comfort of my bed, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Despite the pain, I tried to lift myself off the couch using just my good arm, which quickly proved to be a foolish idea. The hurt shot thorough my body, causing me to clumsily drop back onto the leather.
While I waited for the throbbing to subside, I groggily opened my eyes to survey the room. My eyes immediately landed on Pam, who was kneeling at my side.
"I wouldn't attempt that again," she said casually, her blue eyes meeting mine. Pam looked mildly amused. "At least not until Eric fixes you. You gave us quite a scare, you know. And just as you were becoming incredibly useful."
"Sorry," I mumbled sarcastically, but then I remembered that she helped save my life and needed to be appreciative. "Thank you, though. For the healing." My speech was slow and labored. I knew this time around I would be worse but I was just beginning to grasp how much worse.
"Don't talk," Pam said, leaning her back against the couch. "Save your energy. You've barely recovered and you are obviously weak. According to the doctor, you are lucky to be alive. There will be scarring."
Great, and I just got rid of the scars from my fairy torture. At least she was being honest, which I was grateful for.
"I got your car." Pam sounded a little annoyed so I thanked her again. "Though, if that's all I have to pay for the fun that you provided tonight, then it was worth it," she admitted with a smile.
Pam winked at me. "I must say, Sookie, you are very well endowed. I enjoyed the view, enormously. I know I have asked this before, but would you ever consider swi-"
Eric walked into the office, interrupting Pam's question. There was some unspoken interaction between the two before she rose from her crouch and made for the door. It was odd, to say the least, but I was too tired to question it.
"Ludwig says it should take about a week until you are healed enough to resume your activities," Eric said the moment the door closed. He walked toward me and kneeled next to my head as Pam had done. "I understand that you will have to cancel many appointments with clients as well as miss work here at Fangtasia."
Eric wasn't looking at my face as he spoke but I could tell he was building up to something. His eyes were fixed on my bare back and the wounds that, no doubt, marred my skin.
"And, I assume you have realized you will scar." Eric finally met my gaze. "What a shame that will be."
He paused for a moment, then took off his jacket. "So I am going to heal you. There would be no marks, as a result, and you would be able to return to work immediately."
It was entirely unexpected and I didn't know how to respond. Of course I wanted to allow him to do it for the reasons he gave and much more. Still, I couldn't help but think that it would be wrong to take it without being honest with him first.
Eric, on the other hand, wasn't waiting for my approval. He had already bit into his wrist and was holding it out in front of my mouth. "This is not negotiable." Eric moved his bleeding wrist closer to my mouth. I hesitantly used my good arm to pull his wrist toward me and placed my mouth over Eric's wound. His blood touched my tongue and I remembered the feel of him behind me when he gave me blood so I could rescue Bill. I pulled deeper, this time meeting Eric's eyes -which were full of lust- and I was once again in the hallway with him, forming our bond. He groaned when I took another deep swallow. The wound closed and I licked the blood from his wrist and my lips. Chills were crawling down my healing spine at the memories.
Already, I felt loads better. I decided to test the extent of my healing by sitting up. All the while, Eric and I continued looking at each other. My breathing became heavy and my heart was pounding from the flood of memories and the rush of his blood through my body.
The aching in my back had ceased but there was a new pain, a regret that I hadn't yet told Eric and a longing that he should know everything.
Eric's pupils were huge, predatory, and his fangs were out. Before he even moved, I sensed what he planned to do. Eric leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I forgot how unsexy and horrible I felt just minutes before. All I wanted was his lips on mine; I returned his kiss with enthusiasm. Without thinking, I stood and pressed my body against his. His hands graced my mending back and landed on my hips. I framed his face in my own hands, pulling it as close as possible while I clung to the memories that were flooding my thoughts.
But I sobered quickly; this was not right, not until he knew. Much too soon, I was pulling away from Eric. He looked confused but allowed it.
"I need to explain something'," I said breathlessly, my chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes drew downward and I realized I was standing before him topless. I crossed my arms. "May I take a shower first, though, and perhaps borrow some clothes?"
"Of course." Eric waggled his eyebrows. "And I will gladly provide assistance." He closed the gap between us and his hand snaked up my waist toward my crossed arms.
I was close to giving in- showers with Eric were always thrilling- but I had business to attend to. I reluctantly moved away again.
"Really, this is kinda important. There's a journal in my car, on the passenger seat… Pam might know where it is since she brought my car here. While I shower, maybe you could read it through? I'll try to explain when I get out."
It was a cowardly way to reveal my secret but I was still a tad shaky and emotional from the kiss and the recollections.
Eric called Pam into his office after he handed me one of the many extra shirts he had in his office. I held it in front of me in an attempt at modesty while trying not to let the clean fabric touch my dirty skin. I scuttled out of the room to go shower.
I wanted so badly to take my time and relax but I knew there were two vampires waiting for my return and explanation. Dressed in nothing but Eric's large shirt, which hung down to about mid-thigh, I made my way back to Eric and Pam.
Eric was sitting at his desk with Pam hovering over his shoulder; both were immersed in my notebook when I entered.
Pam looked up at me, smiling. "There's some pretty raunchy tidbits in here, Sookie. I had no idea you had such a kinky imagination."
I regretted adding in my sexual liaisons. "How far have you gotten?" I asked, tentatively.
"Ironically, you just got attacked by a Maenad," Pam answered, looking at me suspiciously. "Did you expect this to happen?"
"What is this?" Eric asked before I could respond. I walked toward his desk. He didn't look mad, though it was hard to tell, since he was still reading through my journal.
I took a deep breath and sat down in the chair in front of them with my legs tightly crossed since I wasn't wearing any panties.
"Well, you could say that it's a future that'll never be. Or better yet, the events of a different timeline." It was a very vague explanation. I tried again. "This isn't the first time I've been here. To make a long story short, I got a second chance at this life and I am tryin' to make the most of it. That," I indicated the notebook, "was my first attempt, you could say."
There was a long silence as the two continued to read, which made me nervous and impatient. Finally, Eric looked up at me. He paused to examine my attire- fangs extending and all- and smiled. "So this is all that will happen, or would have happened. This could be quite useful." Eric looked at Pam. She seemed to mirror his thoughts.
"She is an even more valuable asset than we thought, it seems," Pam added.
That got me mad. "Hey, now. I came back because that last life, run by you Vamps, I might add, was out of my control. I was nothing but a pawn. As a result, I was brutally beaten numerous times, nearly drained, staked, raped, tortured, and attacked. It all happened of because of Bill Compton, Sophie Ann, and even you guys. I can and will help you, if you acknowledge that this life is mine. I am my own person, not an asset to be used."
By the end of my little rant, I was standing with both hands on the desk in front of me. It felt great to finally declare my sovereignty. My moment of triumph was soured a little when I caught them both staring intently at my chests, which were covered by only a thin sheet of material. I crossed my arms and sat back down.
Pam raised an eyebrow. "My apologies, Sookie." It hardly sounded sincere but I accepted it anyway.
"Bill Compton, you say? Did you, by chance, have anything to do with his death a few months back? The report said he met his end in a fire, but we sensed foul play." Eric looked serious but there was a hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth.
"I won't admit to anythin', but you should know that I would never commit such a crime without provocation and a justifiable cause." I responded tersely. It hadn't been my first murder, unfortunately, but just like with Debbie Pelt, I knew that it was necessary.
Both Eric and Pam understood and smiled widely. Eric spoke, "I do not care what happened to Compton. And I assume we have bigger problems to deal with?"
That was more true than Eric realized. I started with the easiest to explain. "Yes, Sophie Ann knows I'm a telepath and she wants me. The queen sent Bill to Bon Temp to get me, which is why I moved to Shreveport and left no word of my new whereabouts. I only return to visit my Gran."
Pam, seemingly uninterested in the turn of the conversation, had taken the notebook and was lounging on the couch reading quickly.
"Sophie-Ann will not stop because you have relocated." Eric stated. "If she wants you, she will find you. The contract will help but it might not be enough."
"What are you suggestin'?" I asked, though I had a pretty good idea.
Out of nowhere, Pam laughed from her perch on the couch. "Oh Eric, she has you whipped in here!" She glanced at me before paraphrasing a section of the book. "You are at her every beck and call, declare your love for her, and it appears as though you're monogamous."
Silence filled the room.
"We'd known each other for years before that happened," I mumbled, looking down at my hands. When someone else summarized it for me, I felt incredibly idiotic for not appreciating what I had at the time. I regretted using the journal as a crutch in my explanation, as well.
Pam looked like she was about to list examples but I cut her off. On impulse, I had decided to turn the tables on Pam. "You find someone, too, Pam, and it is my understandin' that you loved her enough to want to turn her to save her from dying." I omitted the fact that her wish would ultimately be denied by a monster of a vampire.
The look on Pam's face was priceless. My little remark seemed to sober her up. I sighed. "But like I keep telling myself, that was a different life. Who's to say any of that stuff, well, besides the maenad," I added bitterly, "will even happen now? It's more of like a head's up or warning for what could be comin'." I didn't want to look at Eric to see how he reacted to Pam's announcement.
The room went quiet again. It was awkward and unsettling. I sat there and stared at the floor, thinking hard.
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. "I would be lying if I told you I came back here just to make better business decisions," I admitted, meeting Eric's eyes. His expression was unreadable. I took a deep breath and readied myself for what I was about to say.
"Pam's right- we did have a relationship. It took us years but it was worth it… and it was…" I trailed off. I was about to say it was perfect but that would have been a lie. "But under circumstances beyond our control, we lost it."
My voice was barely above a whisper when I finished. I closed my eyes and willed the tears not to fall. I had convinced myself that I had moved past all this regret a long time ago- boy, was I wrong.
I needed to make sure I didn't make him think I expected to pick up where we left off. "I'm not asking for anything', though. If all I accomplish, this time around, is that all of us have more control of our future, I know it would have been worth it."
The idea of the invincible, impenetrable Eric being manipulated by his maker- and even after the bastard met his final death- had always haunted me. And knowing Pam suffered at the loss of her lover was almost as painful.
I stood carefully and gathered my belongings and the car keys Pam had placed on the desk. I addressed them again, as if the last few minutes had not passed. "So you guys can read that, I guess, and I'll see you Thursday. Oh, and thanks for saving my life. Eric. Pam."
We all needed time to think over what had just happened. I shuffled out of the room then, leaving behind two very stunned, very silent vampires.