Chapter 11 –
Loki was not one to be hopeful. He was a realist by nature. Some would say a pessimist at heart. But all that changed the moment that her soft pink lips began to devour his. There should have been a voice reminding him that her feelings, if she even had any for him at all, were leagues below his. That the odds were far more in favor that the zeal with which she rubbed her body against him was solely from a physical need and when the moment was over her frosty bearing would return tenfold. He should be retelling himself that by her own admission she was incapable of emotions and that she deemed them a failure to be snuffed out of existence. He should have put a wall around his heart to protect himself from her inevitable rejection that was bound to come sooner or later.
He should have but he didn't. No, Loki had no other thought except how delicious it was when the fingers of her left hand ran down his chest and grazed over his abdomen. The divine way her other hand had fisted in his hair as she pulled him ever closer. The manner with which every inch of her body seemed to crave him dispelled all logical deliberations from his brain. He would gladly accept the unavoidable heartache that loomed over him like a shadow to seize the mind-numbing pleasure that was laid out before him right now.
The young god moved his hand under her shirt and tunic gliding upwards painstaking slow until he finally cupped her breast over the fabric of her bra. She gasped, breaking their kiss as her dark blue eyes stared up at him nervously. Her breathing erratic and her face flushed. She had never looked more beautiful. He kneaded the tender flesh, licking his lips seductively as he watched her eyes roll backward at the sensation. He dipped his head to her throat suckling his way towards her ear. She pushed him away from her slightly as her gaze dropped to the small space that she had created between them.
"I just… I need a second to catch my breath," she murmured as she inhaled deeply before turning her sapphire eyes back to his. He could see the difference immediately. The coolness of her stare and her perfectly even breathing were like night and day from a second before. She inclined her head as if to kiss him but he grabbed her face in his hands to halt her movements.
"Don't freeze up on me," Loki ordered. "I have no desire to bed the Ice Queen. That might be good enough to please your little mortals but it is not enough to satisfy me."
"You want too much from me," Natasha remarked coolly as she wrapped her fingers around his wrists. But she made no attempt to remove his hands from her face. "I can't give you what you want."
"You can give me more than you think," the young god breathed seductively as he brushed his lips tantalizingly over hers causing her breath to hitch. "Don't retreat into that little box that you love so much… stay here with me… stop trying so hard to contain your emotions, little spider. Forget about them and just concentrate on me." He moved his hand back up under her shirt palming her stomach as he felt her shiver in response. "Yield to me, little spider," he whispered against her ear, flicking his tongue along her earlobe as she tilted her head back and moaned audibly. "Yes, that's it… let go… let me have you, Natalia, the real you… you won't regret it."
Her hands anchored themselves to his hips as his arms locked around her back. An intense pleasure flooded through him every place that their bodies touched. He wanted her more than anything else in the nine realms. He took a step backward to lead them to the makeshift bed that he had laid along the cave floor. He faltered slightly as his body swayed momentarily against his will. He wasn't sure what was wrong but he knew something was happening. His head felt weighted suddenly as the pain in his shoulder increased.
"Loki?" Natalia probed, her voice filled with concern as he attempted to stabilize himself. "What is it? What's wrong? Loki, your skin…"
His eyes widened in alarm when he saw the blue hue crawl up along his fingers and make its path further and further up his arm. The mischievous prince tried to concentrate and will away his Jotunn form before it overtook him completely despite his inner protests. He had no desire for her to see him like this. Anything but this, he thought desperately, he didn't want her to look upon the monster that he truly was. But it seemed that he had lost control of the image that his flesh took as his head grew heavier and sweat began to descend down his brow. Loki stumbled to the cave floor.
"Loki, what's happening?" the black widow asked as she fell to his side. "Your burn it looks worse."
He turned his head weakly towards his shoulder. The red blisters looked almost purple against the blue flesh but more than that he could see a dark violet line fanning out along his arm. It seemed to be following the path of his veins. His head felt even cloudier and the heat was beginning to get unbearable.
"I have a fever… something's not right," Loki divulged as his crimson eyes attempted to focus on the woman at his side. "I think… frost giant… the heat… like a poison." His words were choppy as he struggled against the lightheaded feeling that was threatening to overtake him.
"What can I do for you?" Natasha inquired anxiously. "Loki… Loki… Don't close your eyes. What do you mean poison? You have to tell me how to help you." He could hear her voice but it was distant and it kept fading farther and farther away no matter how hard he tried to stop it.
The young god found himself in a strange mist as he walked the icy terrain. The snow at his feet was deep enough that he was having a difficult time traipsing through the frozen ground. Despite, the frigid weather, Loki had never felt hotter. The sweat was dripping from his pores as he pushed on. He had no idea where he was or where he was headed. He wasn't sure of much of anything at all.
"The bastard son returns," a deep voice grumbled through the fog as the vapor began to dissipate. Loki didn't recognize the voice but he knew who the beast was even before his red eyes became visible through the mist.
"You're dead," Loki rasped as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "I should know. I killed you myself." It was then that he noticed that his hands were blue. 'No, no,' he thought mournfully, 'this is wrong.' He wasn't supposed to look like this. He closed his eyes as he tried to bring forth his Aesir form. The disappointment was plain on his face when he opened them only to find himself still looking very much like a Frost Giant.
"You cannot change what you are," Laufey taunted. "Do you think just because you shape-shifted this form away that it somehow makes you one of them? You will never be anything more than this."
"You're wrong. I am not one of you. I'm nothing like you," Loki insisted as the heat boiled through his veins. Why was he so hot?
"Hide behind your pale skin as much as you want, Laufeyson," the Frost Giant taunted. "It will never rid you of the monster within."
"Loki, wake up please." A woman's voice called out faintly in the distance. The young god tilted his head in the direction of the noise. It tugged at him but he couldn't place it.
"That's not true. I don't want to be that," He murmured softly as he stared longingly ahead of him, hoping to hear the woman once more. "I can be different. I've changed so much already."
"Is that what you think?" Laufey sneered. "And what makes you so different?"
"I… I…," Loki began but he couldn't answer. His mind felt foggy. Something deep inside of him was telling him that he wasn't the same as he once was but he wasn't sure why. He wasn't certain of anything except the heat that seemed to be burning him up from the inside. "I just know that I am."
"You are a fool," The Frost Giant growled. "A fool who thought that killing me would somehow wipe my genes from your body. I am in your blood and the ice will always flow through your veins. You're a monster even she knows it will always be so."
Loki's crimson eyes narrowed at the old King's words. He was talking about the woman, the voice that he had heard. He knew it without question. He should go to her. But he was no longer sure which way the voice had come from and how far could he get when he felt as if he were melting where he stood.
"You are a killer like me, a schemer like me and a self-seeking dictator like me," Laufey chuckled evilly. "If not for your pathetic size you would have made me proud."
"Damn it, Loki… please I don't know what else to do." The voice echoed in the void, flowing towards him as if it was being carried along on a breeze. "I just… I need… I need for you to open your eyes."
"I'm not supposed to be here," Loki snipped as he took a few tentative steps through the haze to find the source of the voice.
"Where else would you go? Valhalla?" Laufey cackled. "Did you really think you could win the heart of that one? She is much better suited for your fake brother."
Loki whipped his head back toward the Frost Giant, his crimson eyes practically glowing with ire. His entire being was filled with rage and jealousy at the Jotunn King's words. He longed to kill him all over again. His hatred overtaking him until there was very little room for anything else.
"And the beast awakens," Laufey goaded as he began to laugh in an unnervingly deep rumble. "Tell me again how you've changed, boy."
"Stop acting like you know me," the young god seethed as he balled his hands into fists. His shirt was damp from the sweat that permeated his body and the anger that surged within him was only increasing his temperature. "You don't know me at all."
"I hate you." The voice was louder and more pronounced as it lofted across the terrain. It seemed much closer then before and he could almost picture her as he fought to regain his clarity through the murkiness that was overshadowing his thoughts. "You can't just weasel your way into my… my… and then do this. Why did you get in front of me? I can take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself. I don't need you. I was perfectly fine before you started to… Loki, can you hear me? Please don't leave me."
"This is not where I belong," Loki stated firmly. The sentiment in her voice was overwhelming. It surprised him to hear it, though he wasn't quite sure why. He took another step towards her but the drifts seemed to have gotten deeper and the heat inside of him was making him feel faint as if all of his energy was being melted down and dissolving away from him.
"If not here then where?" the Frost Giant gibed with an eerie grin. "Asgard? How quickly they disowned you. How easily they discarded you once you proved yourself to be of no more value to them." Loki felt the truth of his words. He was no more than a stolen relic. How simple it was for Odin to cast him off. Asgard was not his home. He had no family. He was alone.
"Please let this work." Her lilting timber fluttered over him, willing him to come closer. "Loki, come back to me." The young god's entire body shivered as he felt the sensation of lips brushing against his forehead. Her image becoming clearer in his mind.
"She loves the snow," He said absently as he concentrated on the picture in his head. The long strawberry curls, her face coming more and more into focus. A cool breeze began to waft through him as if it were billowing along his veins destroying the sweltering warmth in its wake. He could sense her fingertips stroking his arm.
"You will never be more than the pathetic viper that stands before me," Laufey promised venomously. "Not to her or any other."
"Go haunt someone else," Loki rasped as he felt his strength returning to him. The sensation of her touches getting stronger. This wasn't real. It was just a nightmare. She was real and he needed to wake up. His fever was breaking and his thoughts were becoming more lucid. It was as if he was floating upward to consciousness, further and further away from the fog that was falling from his mind. The icy world was now somewhere far beneath him.
"She will never love you." Laufey's voice called out for one final jeer.
"I love her… that's all that matters," the young god insisted as he felt himself on the brink of waking. His eyelids pulsating rapidly as he continued to strive to regain control of his movements. Her breath whispered against his skin as the sound of her filled his ears. A peculiar sense of liquid rolled down his cheek like tears only he knew they weren't his.
Dark emerald eyes opened to find Natasha leaning over him as she pressed her dampened tunic that she held in her hands against his shoulder. Her cheeks were reddened and her eyes glazed over as one final tear glided along her skin. The flowers that they had collected were thrown haphazardly along the floor and the container that they had been kept in was at his side. It was filled with a bluish liquid. Loki watched as she took the fabric that she held and dipped it back into the plastic carton, soaking up more of the strange solution and positioning it back over his wound.
"Natalia," Loki murmured as he tried to find his voice. He rested his fingers along her forearm and she jumped slightly as she stared down at him. "What are you doing, little spider?"
"Loki!" the Black Widow beamed as relief flooded her features. "Your fever broke." The young god shifted his body as he cautiously inclined upward. A feeling of respite pervading him as he noted for the first time that he had returned to his Aesir form. "Be careful… you don't want to have a relapse."
"What is that you have in there?" the mischievous prince inquired as he took in his surroundings with a meticulous eye. "Did you use the flamedragons we picked? You don't know how many of them you're going to need."
"There are still plenty," Natasha divulged as she continued to keep pressure on the dampened tunic that she held against his shoulder. Loki could see that she had used more than half. "It was the only thing I could think of. I crushed them into some rainwater. You are lucky I'm so resourceful. You looked like you were at death's door."
"Is that what the tears were for?" Loki probed. "Were you afraid for me, little spider?" His voice was soft and breathy as he tucked a long red curl behind her ear. Natasha ignored his question as she stood from the ground.
"You seem well enough to hold the compress yourself," She stated firmly as she moved away from him and began to collect the discarded flowers and place them in a small pile next to her knapsack.
"Natalia," he entreated as he sat up even further. He felt surprisingly well. He moved the cloth from his arm as he surveyed his shoulder. The blisters were all but gone except for a very pale sheen of pinkish skin.
"I don't want to talk about it, not any of it," She told him without bothering to turn in his direction as her business like demeanor settled itself into place. "As soon as you think your well enough we need to get moving again. I need to get to my comrades and every second counts." Natasha tilted her head slightly so that her dark blue gaze met his for the barest of moments. "I'm glad that you're alright, Loki." Her voice was cool and held no sign of emotion but there was no missing the sentiment that filled her eyes.
"I'm well enough," Loki insisted as he moved to stand. "I'm a god, after all." He knew how badly it would hurt her if she somehow arrived too late to rescue her friends. And though he couldn't care less about either man. He would not let that happen. "If the storm has stopped than we should leave at once." With a snap of his magic, he dried her tunic and tossed it to her with a cocky grin. She cared about him. Enough to have shed tears over his illness. It was difficult for him to contain his glee at the thought.
"I think we should part ways once we reach Vanaheim," Natasha remarked out of the blue as he was putting on his leather vest. "I can find my way back to Asgard from there."
"What are you talking about?" Loki snapped, his mood instantly falling. "My bargain with you is that I would help you bring the cure to Midgard."
"Our bargain is that you would help me bring the cure to them and you have," the Black Widow insisted. "You don't have to actually step foot on Earth."
"If that were the case than this would be gone," the Trickster protested as he held his hand out in front of him, the flaming dragon a glaring sign that their bargain was far from complete. Natasha sighed as she seemed to realize that he was correct. "Sorry, little spider, but you will not be able to get rid of me until our deal is done." And if the young god had his way even then she would not be free of him.