Fall turned to winter as the cold winds came in, sending a wave of cold over the campgrounds. Sira walked around the pack, talking with people as she gave out some more rations. Everyone was more than appreciative for the food and she felt like they were finally coming to accept her as one of their own. They grinned at her, welcoming her, and making her feel comfortable here. It was something she hadn't felt there until then.
Fenrir was in a meeting with a few of the elders in the pack, discussing what needed to still be done in the pack and Anthony was back home, spending some time with Scabior and Isabella. She hadn't been home in a week because she had been so busy, which truthfully, she felt guilty about. Scabior's and her relationship finally seemed to be getting better. They were no longer uncomfortable with each other. And she liked that.
"So since you've been around here a while," the woman, who looked to be about her age, that she was talking to said, "have you considered becoming Fenrir's mate? I'm sure most of us agree that you'd be perfect for him." Sira instantly blushed at the idea, completely embarrassed. Is it really that obvious that he has feelings for me? She asked herself.
"I've been married for almost 19 years now," she stated softly, "so I don't think there's a possibility of becoming his mate."
"Of course there is," the woman said with a smile. "Just divorce your husband. It's as simple as that."
"Hey, Sira," Heros hollered as he walked up to her with a smile on his face, "do you need some help with the rations?" The woman glared at him but stood her ground, her dark eyes growing cold.
"That would be nice," she replied as she handed him some of the rations. "Thank you." With a smile, he went to the next tent and began to hand out the rations, with much reluctance from the people receiving it.
"So you really believe he's good?" the woman asked as she watched Heros.
"Yes, I believe so."
"How do you know?"
"I was like him at one time in my life, so I know how it feels to be shunned while all you're trying to do some good. You just want people to understand you for who you are at this moment, but all they can think about is what you have done. It's a difficult thing to do, to have people see you as you are now instead of how you were, but I believe he can do it," Sira explained warmly.
"You're an auror so how do you know how he feels?" the woman questioned.
"Yes, I am," she stated, "but I was a Death Eater at one point in my life and the process of becoming an auror after that was far from easy. The Minister of Magic offered me my job back after the Battle of Hogwarts and I started working about a year after my son was born. That didn't mean that there wasn't people that didn't want me there. They were everywhere. They would look down upon me because of what I had done and all of the wrong that I had done, but all I wanted was a chance to be a better person. Many of them didn't want to even give me a chance, but there were a few who did, and those few meant the world to me."
"I didn't know that you were a Death Eater."
"Sira," Fenrir said as he came up to her, "I need to speak with you." She nodded and quickly said goodbye to the woman she was talking to before walking away with him.
"What is it?" He shook his head, and she knew that it was a matter that he didn't
feel comfortable talking about it there. They entered the tent, causing him to sigh as he looked down and rubbed his face, obviously stressed.
"The pack still doesn't think that wizards actually care about the pack," he said quickly, "and they don't feel that you care about the pack." She looked at him, completely stunned by his words. She couldn't believe it, after all she had done to help them and they still didn't trust her or her kind. It made her feel awful.
"What do I need to do to earn their trust?" she questioned, knowing that they had to have said something to him about it. He looked at her for a moment before looking down, his yellow eyes showing his tentativeness.
"You don't need to do anything," he stated, and she knew that he was lying to her to try to protect her.
"Fenrir," she stressed, causing him to look her in the eyes, "I know they asked you if I was going to be your mate and I know that you told them that I wasn't. I know they want me to and they don't trust me because I'm not. It's all I hear from the pack. 'Why aren't you Fenrir's mate yet?' 'Are you considering being Fenrir's mate?' 'You would be a good mate for Fenrir.' I know that it's causing a major disconnect between you and the pack. And I'm sorry about that." She sat down on the sofa, causing him to sigh and sit down beside her as he put his head in his hands.
"I would never ask you to be my mate if you didn't want to," he explained, "and I know that you're still married to Scabior. I respect that, but they don't understand. It's hard to explain our relationship to them because they don't understand why we're friends and nothing more than that. It just makes it difficult because they don't know what it's like to live outside the pack and to know anything other than pack culture. They don't really even know friendship. Not really at least." She nodded and they both were silent for a while, lost in thought.
"I could pretend to be your mate," she offered as she gave him a warm smile. "That way the pack would be happy and more accepting, but I could still keep my marriage with Scabior."
"You don't have to do that-."
"It's alright," she interrupted with a grin on her lips. "It's the least I can do and if it helps, it helps."
"Alright," he said with a slight nod. She watched as he lost focus for a while, losing himself within his mind. "I would never ask you to be my mate, Sira," he whispered tenderly as his yellow eyes gazed into her blue ones. "If I were to ask anything like that of you, I would ask you to be my wife."
"Fenrir," she breathed, completely speechless as her eyes started to tear up. They had been through so much together and they were so close. She knew that. She also knew how he felt about her, but he had never really said it or hinted at it. She was happy that he finally did, but it hurt her as well.
"I know you can't be," he said as he dropped his eyes one more time, "but I wanted you to know how I felt."
"I would be honored to have you as my husband." She stood up as he looked up at her, wondering what she was doing. He knew that she was true to her word, but he really hoped that she wasn't hurt. He couldn't tell if she was or not. "I have to go, remember? I'm supposed to be going back home today."
"When will you be back?" he questioned, halfway regretting that he told her how he felt.
"Tomorrow, probably in the evening, and then I'll be going back home for the holidays." He nodded as she smiled at him softly, trying to work through her pain. "I'm sure you're welcome to spend them with us if you want to."
"I'll probably spend them with the pack," he said, "but we can talk about that when you get back tomorrow."
"Okay, I'll see you later."
"Bye, Sira," he said, his voice hollow as he stood. Without thinking, she kissed him on the cheek and disappeared with a soft pop, leaving him speechless.
As she wiped her eyes, she stepped into her house, trying to forget the pain she felt. It wasn't unbearable, but it was uncomfortable. It made her question everything she was doing, everything she had done. She just wanted to know if she was doing the right thing, if she had given her heart the right man. Right now, she didn't want to think about it.
She walked into the kitchen to see Elliot and Anthony sitting at the table, laughing about something. She gave them a smile as Anthony noticed her, returning her smile. "Hey Mom, I hope it's okay that Elliot's here," he said warmly. "He wanted to meet our family, since we've already met his."
"I have no problem with that," she stated kindly. "He is family now and he'll always be welcome here. Have you seen your dad anywhere? He should be home from work by now."
"He's upstairs," Anthony answered, causing her to nod as she left the room, and they returned to their conversation. She quickly went upstairs and into her bedroom, leaning easily on the doorframe as she gazed at her husband, who had his back towards her.
"Hey," she breathed and he turned around, giving her a small smile.
"Hey. You're home early." She nodded as he changed his shirt and she stepped into the room, closing the door gently behind her. "How was things with the pack?"
"They went well," she looked at him as she sat down on the edge of their bed. "No major problems whatsoever. To be honest, it's kind of nice." He nodded as he sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders.
"I missed you," he said softly, looking into her blue eyes.
"I missed you too." She put her head on his shoulder and she couldn't help but feel guilty. He rubbed her shoulder, sighing deeply as he rested his head on hers. "I love you."
"I love you too." She moved away from him slightly, just enough to be able to look up into his eyes, hers glittering with her curiosity.
"Do you mean it?" His eyes gazed into hers as his hands cupped her face, her hair between his fingers, as he took a deep breath in.
"Yes," he whispered as she studied his face, looking for any signs of him lying, even though she didn't want to find anything. She couldn't tell. He gently kissed her as her stomach tossed violently, causing her to pull away. He looked at her with fear in his eyes, wondering if she knew what he had done. "Sira, are you alright?" She shook her head as her eyes started to tear up again.
"I'm sorry," she breathed painfully, refusing to look at him. "I'm just really nervous right now."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," she hissed as she fought back her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, trying to understand what was paining her.
"It's alright, Cecilia." She pulled out of his arms and looked at him, finally allowing her tears to win as they poured down her cheeks. He realized what he had done as the hurt entered her eyes and she looked at him fearfully.
"Who's Cecilia?" she questioned as he sighed and looked down, taking her hands and holding them in his.
"I'm sorry, Sira," he breathed, "but I made a terrible mistake and I'm so stupid for doing so." He squeezed her hands as she watched him, breathless, and he swore he could see her trust in his shattering before his eyes. "I haven't been faithful to you. For the last five years, I've been seeing another woman. Her name is Cecilia. I'm sorry."
"So for almost a quarter of our marriage, you haven't been faithful to me," she stated, not wanting what she was saying to be true. She felt so dumb, so blind. Wasn't it obvious? Hadn't she known? She thought she had.
"I didn't want to hurt you," he stressed, looking into her eyes as she looked down. "I knew the truth would tear us apart and I didn't want that to happen." She pulled her hands out of his hands. She couldn't take anymore. She just couldn't hear another word. She stood up and turned away from him, trying to distance herself from him as much as possible.
"I can't do this right now, Scabior," she stated as she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now. I just," she looked down, not believing what had just happened, "I just need some time to think."
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked, getting up.
"No, I'll go. It'll be easier both of us and we can discuss this later, when we both have had time to think this out." He looked down, nodding in agreement with her.
"I'll miss you and I'm truly sorry." She nodded as she stepped out to the room, too upset to even say anything back. What would she do now? Where would she go? She hadn't felt this lost in years and she hated the feeling of it. She was just so confused. She was heartbroken.
Heros walked slowly through the camp as night fell and people returned to their tents. No one dared to approach him, no one talked to him, even if he accidently bumped into them as he walked past. They were still afraid of him. He could see it in their eyes. He had never felt so alone in his life.
He thought back to before this whole mess started, before he joined Kael's ranks. He was happy, even though he was struggling to survive in the new order of the pack. Fenrir had just been sent to Azkaban and Kael had already changed the face of the pack completely. He remembered how bad it was, but he also remembered that, at that point, it wasn't unbearable. At least then he had a family, even though it was just him and Herne, the man he was lucky enough to call his father.
The thought of him made him smile. Even though Herne wasn't his real father, he still felt that he was. He was the one who took care of him, who raised him, who taught him the ways of the pack. He was so lucky to have him, the only father he ever knew.
Herne once said that he had been bitten at a young age and he was just a little boy when he came to the pack. He never knew what had happened to his parents, or what his actual last name was, or even if his parents were still alive. The only thing he grew up knowing was that Herne would be kind to him and would treat him like his own child.
Suddenly, his stomach flipped at the thought of his father and he tried to force his memories back. Remember the good, Heros, he told himself. Remember the good. But the bad was much too strong.
He was a teenager again, and his stomach growled with hunger. "We'll get some food," Herne stated as they entered their tent, "sooner or later." His dark hair was streaked with grey, showing his age, and his brown eyes showed how tired he was, as if his stress was catching up with him.
"It's alright," Heros replied with a smile, trying to boost his spirits, "I'm not that hungry." His father shook his head as he sighed, knowing that he was lying to him.
"It's not right that Kael and his followers are taking all of the supplies while we starve. They're living in comfort and we have to struggle. It's just not right." Herne sat down in a chair at the kitchen table and rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm worried about our future here, Heros," he breathed as Heros sat down across from him. "I'm worried that we won't be able to survive."
"We can't leave. We'll be marked as traitors and hunted down."
"I know," his father said as he rubbed his hands, "but I wasn't going to suggest that." He shook his head again as Heros looked at him with his eyes shining with his worry. "I was going to suggest that you join Kael's ranks so both of us wouldn't have to suffer. It might save our lives. I know you don't see eye to eye with him, but if you can fake it well enough and act like you do, he may accept you. Heros, you're strong and you have a good head on your shoulders. You'll be able to join his ranks and not break your morals. I can see that you're worried about that, but just remember that Kael doesn't care about what you think. He does not see the world the way you do and he only cares about what he wants. And I have a feeling he'll want someone as strong as you."
"What about you?" Heros asked, more concerned about his father than himself. "What will happen to you?"
"I hope that he'll treat me alright as long as I don't speak out against him. I don't want to cause trouble."
"Okay."
"Well, you can join us," Kael proclaimed arrogantly as he paced the floor, walking around the chair Heros sat in. He couldn't believe that he was doing this. It all felt so terribly wrong. His nerves ate at him, telling him to run as quickly as he could away from this place and never look back. "But there is one condition." Kael looked at him, his blue eyes glittering cruelly as he stopped his pacing. "You must prove your loyalty to me. I cannot have a traitor in my ranks, is that clear?" Heros nodded, trying to keep eye contact with Kael. He wasn't much older than he was, but yet he seemed ages older, and many time more sinister. "Good."
"What would you like me to do?" he asked, causing the Alpha to smirk.
"Go get your father and bring him back to this tent."
He did as he was told, and Herne reluctantly came, warning him of the seriousness of the situation. Do whatever is necessary, he had told him. His words tugged at his heart.
"Good, Heros," Kael stated as the pack came up to them, leaving a great amount of space around them. Heros looked at his father, but he didn't return his gaze. "Now, your loyalty to me will tested. You must fight your father until one of you can no longer fight. Begin when you're ready." Herne finally looked at him, his eyes gleaming with his certainty, but also with sadness, as they faced each other.
"I'm sorry," Heros whispered to him as he gave him a slight nod in reply, just before he lunged at him. Herne pushed him back, trying to protect himself a bit, but Heros had grabbed him by the arm and threw him to the ground. He hit hard, knocking the breath out of his lungs. Herne recovered just in time to kick Heros' legs out from underneath him, causing him to stumble and allowing him to get up. They tussled for what seemed like forever and soon both of him were out of breath and covered in sweat. Heros had Herne on the ground again and he wasn't even attempting to get up. He could see Herne's chest rising and falling rapidly, and he swore he could hear him wheezing. After a few moments, he hadn't stood up, so Heros looked at Kael, who was smiling evilly.
Kael stood and went over to him, placing his hand on his shoulder as he offered him a knife. His smile was cold, causing his rage to flare in his chest. "This wasn't part of the deal," Heros hissed.
"You want your place in my ranks, don't you?" Kael questioned with the cruel grin still on his lips. Heros sighed and took the knife, sealing his fate. "Finish him." Kael went over to the only person he considered his family, kneeling down beside him, and stabbed the knife into his back.
"You should have done a better job at 'finishing me,'" Herne stated with a smile before a bought of coughs rattled his body. Heros sat beside him, feeling awful about what he had done. "But I'm glad you didn't."
"I couldn't kill you," Heros said calmly. "You're the only father that I've ever known and I'd never do that to you. I feel awful for stabbing you anyway." He laughed as he grinned.
"You don't need to feel bad about it," he replied as he sat up more. "You made it into Kael's ranks and that's what you needed to do. You gained his trust. Don't feel so bad." Heros looked down, still feeling terrible about the entire situation.
"Are you sure you don't want me to take you to St. Mungo's?" Herne nodded with a sigh and he could see the guilt eating at Heros' soul.
"You healed my wounds," he answered as his eyes dulled, "and I know that they can't help me much more than you can. I'm old, Heros, and I've lived a decent life." Heros looked down at his hands, knowing what he was implying. "If it's my time to go, then I have to go."
"I don't want to lose you."
"We never want to lose the ones we care about. That's one of the reasons we care about them so much. We don't want to have to face the fact that one day, they'll be gone and we won't get to see them again. But when we lose the ones we love, we cherish them more. Their lives have more meaning for us and the idea that we had the opportunity to know and care about them will outweigh the grief of our loss. And there will be a day, as well, when we all have to say goodbye."
Heros didn't know that those words would be the last thing he would hear the only man he was able to call his father say, for he passed away that night in his sleep.
"Heros," a male voice said, causing him to break from his thoughts as he searched for the source of the sound. A few yards away from him, Malakai stood, looking at him with a questioning look on his face. "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing, Malakai," he said softly as he walked over to the teenager. "I was just thinking about something."
"I hope it's not that you've been shunned from the group you've belonged to for years and the pack doesn't like you because of the things you've done with that said group and you wish you hadn't broken the ties in the first place," Malakai stated quickly, knowing that his words could possibly anger him. The boy's comment caused him to smile as he shook his head.
"No, it's not that. I'm actually pretty happy being out of that group and I think people are finally starting to warm up to me a little bit within the pack. They're still fearful, but not as much. More wary than anything else."
"Well that's good," Malakai replied as he looked up into his eyes, the boy's cold and serious, "but I need to know something. Where does your alliance lie?" Heros never looked away or second thought himself. He knew the answer. It had been the same as long as he could remember.
"With Fenrir."
Malakai smiled at him as he opened up the entrance to his tent.
"I have a proposition for you."
He looked up at the ceiling of the bedroom, halfway wishing that he hadn't told Sira how he felt. He figured that it was better that she knew, but he didn't expect her to seem so hurt. Honestly, he was worried about her, but he didn't know if going after her and telling her that he made a mistake was the right thing to do. But there was a possibility that he hadn't hurt her, that she was just hurt because she knew that she couldn't be with him because she was married to Scabior.
He just didn't know.
He rubbed his face and closed his eyes, hoping that he could actually get some sleep. It was late and he doubted that she would be coming back anytime soon to ease his worry. Then again, that might make him more upset. He wished he wasn't so conflicted.
He was somewhere between awake and asleep when he heard footsteps enter the room. She got into bed with him, sitting on him as she rubbed his bare chest, smiling down at him. "Sira?" he asked as she bent over him, laying on his chest as her brown hair fell around his face like a curtain.
"Yes?" she questioned back with the smile still on her lips.
"I didn't know that you'd be back so soon," he said, smiling warmly. He saw something in her eyes, something that he had never seen before. It looked like passion.
"I didn't know either," she whispered seductively as her lips brushed his neck, just under his jaw. He shuddered slightly, causing her to grin before she kissed his neck. Soon, her lips were on his, kissing him deeply as her hands eagerly cupped his jaw, pulling him closer to her. He thought he was dreaming, actually, but it all felt so real. It felt so right, but so wrong.
Her hands greedily ran down his chest and stopped at the waist of his pants. At once, he knew what she was doing. Grabbing her hands, he rolled her under him, pinning her down to the mattress. "Sira, we can't do this," he panted, trying to catch his breath as irritation enter her eyes.
"And why not?" she asked, staring at him.
"You're married," he stressed and she rolled her eyes, trying to break out of his grip. "You don't need to be cheating on Scabior."
"It doesn't matter anymore, Fenrir," she snarled sharply as her disgust entered her blue eyes. "Scabior has been cheating on me." He let her up, looking at her with shock. She sat up, putting her face on her knees as the tears started to stream down her cheeks and the sobs shook her body.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as he moved closer to her, gently rubbing her back, trying to comfort her. "Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head before she started sobbing again. He gave her a little smile as he put his arm around her shoulders. "Talking will help you feel better."
"I- I just can't believe he did this to me," she mumbled, her voice cracking. "We've been married for almost twen- twenty years and he cheats on me." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and put her forearms on her knees.
"How long as this been going on?"
"Five years," she answered as her crying became less violent, still wiping her eyes. "Her name is Cecilia. I don't know anything else." He smiled at her and she finally looked at him, her tears still streaming down her face. "What are you smiling about?"
"Doesn't this feel better than revenge sex?" he questioned, his smile showing his confidence in himself. She shoved him, causing him to laugh. A smirk flashed across her lips, but only for an instant. "Hey now, it was just a question."
"I know it was," she whispered, sniffling. "I guess it is better this way." She smirked again, her eyes still showing her sadness. "But you seemed to enjoy it."
"Oh I did," he stated with a grin as she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, "but it didn't feel right." She closed her eyes as she nodded slightly, still crying.
"I'm sorry," she breathed, looking up into his yellow eyes. "I wasn't thinking when I did that." He held her close and rubbed her shoulder gently.
"I forgive you. You've had a rough night and I understand that." He pressed his lips against her forehead as she sniffled. "It's all going to be okay though. You'll work this out with Scabior and you'll be happy again."
"But what if we don't work this out?" she asked under her breath.
"You will, one way or another."
"I don't trust him anymore," she admitted as her tears rolled down her face quicker. "Not after all of this. I knew something like this was going to happen, but I didn't want it to. I wanted to be wrong, but I knew, deep down, that I was right. I don't think I can even stand to be around him anymore."
"Don't say that," he whispered softly as he hugged her. "You're upset and you're trying to deal with all of this, but you're letting your pain get in the way of your judgment." She nodded slightly as she sighed, trying to defog her clouded mind.
"Thank you," she breathed as she looked into his eyes, "for everything."
"You're welcome," he replied with a smile on his lips. "It's not a problem."
"I don't want to be alone, Fenrir."
"You won't be," he said tenderly. "I'll always be here for you."