"Chere?"
Rogue felt a nudge against her arm.
"Time to get up, ma cherie."
She groaned sleepily and rubbed her eyes. Reluctantly, she looked up to see Remy hovering above her. He was dressed in his uniform.
"What time is it?" she muttered, wanting to roll over and go back to sleep.
"Midnight," he answered. "We really must be going."
Miserably, she climbed out of the cozy, warm bed; forgetting she had only slept in a baby T and her panties. His eyes widened and glowed a sharp red before he cast his gaze downward, granting her some privacy.
At this hour, she was too tired to care what he thought about her or the amount of skin she'd revealed. It wasn't until she saw herself in the bathroom mirror with the perkiest nipples on the planet that her cheeks reddened. Damn night air. There was no doubt in her mind he'd noticed. Even a blind man would have.
Remy cursed his stupidity in bringing her along. With another throbbing erection on the rise, he couldn't wait to get out into the streets and have the bitter cold whip him back into strictly business mode.
He groaned in despair when she appeared in a skintight green and yellow suit that left very little of her shape to his imagination. The damn thing kept only her head uncovered, but clung to every curve like a second skin.
There was no way he could picture her wearing something like that on a daily basis.
"You're going to freeze in that," he managed to choke out sternly, silently begging for her to go change.
"Oh, no." She smiled. "My uniform is thermally tailored. It adjusts to regulate my body temperature automatically."
Her uniform? Jesus Christ. She did wear that the majority of the time.
She bent over to dig through her suitcase on the floor, and all Remy could do was stare at her ass and concentrate on not drooling. She straightened up and slid on a brown jacket.
"I just like this." She shrugged, mistaking the strange look on his face as a question towards the short jacket.
"Have you ever gotten past security lasers?" he asked, trying really hard not to imagine her body bending and sliding around security beams in her uniform.
"Standard training in the Danger Room," she replied.
The Danger what?
"It's a highly advanced training system Forge and Beast helped the Professor build," she explained, sensing his confusion. "I've passed all security simulations with a ninety-five percent success rate."
He gave her a slow nod, not having a clue who 'Forge and Beast' were. At least he knew who the Professor was. That could only be Charles Xavier, and Remy had heard a lot about that man. He would have to be living under a rock not to know that name.
"This is a serious job, Chere. We're in big trouble if we're caught. If you don't think you can handle this, I can go alone."
It was a very tempting offer, but she knew she had to go. The more she learned about what the Thieves were involved in concerning Senator Kelly, the better prepared she could keep Logan.
"Trust me, Swamp Rat. I can handle it," she declared. "So what are stealing anyway?
"Information."
"For?"
"Technology. Thieves work mostly blind, keeps us from talking if we're caught."
"What if what we're doing is helping Kelly control mutants?" she broached the subject carefully.
"Not our concern, Chere."
"Not our concern?" she replied in shock. "We are mutants. It is our concern."
"Non," he answered stiffly. "Our concern is completing the job and getting paid."
"But—"
"If you can't handle this, stay behind," he answered sharply.
"Remy—" She reached out to touch his arm in a pleading gesture.
He jerked his arm from her grasp defensively. "We're Thieves first," he said, almost as if he were reciting something said to him. "And mutants second."
She opened her mouth to argue, but stopped. She could see the conflict in his eyes on the matter. Without him saying a word, she knew it must have been an argument he'd had, and lost, many times over with his father.
"I can handle it," she answered coldly. "I'm going with you."
Things were tense between the two of them as they silently broke into another location. Despite herself, Rogue was mad at him. How could he just turn on a blind eye on what they were doing? He was a traitor to his own kind, and now she was his accomplice. She knew whatever they were stealing for Senator Kelly would be used against them later.
They were in and out quickly and it made her sick. Logan would have to know that the Thieves were doing jobs for the government. Perhaps the Professor had made a mistake about Gambit. The team couldn't afford to have a traitor in their midst.
Her dirty looks of disgust weighed down on him. He could only imagine how this added to her dislike for him. He had openly admitted that he could care less about not only the mutant plight, but his own mutant status as well. It wasn't his place to question the jobs the Guild took. He had no say in any of it until Jean-Luc stepped down and relinquished his duties to Remy. Until that day, Remy worked under his father. His job was to steal what he was told to steal.
That wasn't to say that Remy hadn't spent hours arguing with Jean-Luc over it. Jean-Luc had secured Remy's safety from the government, and that was all that had mattered to his father. Now that Rogue was a Thief, Jean-Luc would bargain for her safety as well and get it. The Thieves co-operation was far too valuable for Kelly to lose. Somehow, telling Rogue that her safety was assured would not make her unpleasant opinion of him go away.
Once he was free of the Guild and in New York, he could prove to her where his loyalties lay. He was a mutant, and had harboured the dream of siding with his own kind for a long time. With the Guild, he was a Thief first, but outside the Guild, he could be a mutant first. It was a freedom he'd been looking forward to.
She walked hotly ahead of him, and he knew her temper was flaring up like a wild fire. She was just waiting for him to do or say something in order to unleash her fury.
"We have one more place to hit before we're done," Remy spoke apprehensively. "You don't have to come if you don't want to."
Remy was fully aware of this job compromising her morals. He wasn't about to make her do something that went against everything she and her team were fighting for.
"You don't have to do this either," she started again.
"I need to finish this job." He really didn't want to get into this with her.
"At the cost of how many mutants?"
Inwardly, he winced at her words. She was trying to hit all the spots that nagged at his conscience.
"This isn't something I'm particularly proud of."
"Yet you still do it," she answered crossly. "I can't believe money is more important to you than lives. Mutant lives."
"Chere, you don't understand the—"
"I understand perfectly," she hissed angrily. "You're a traitor and a coward."
Having no arguments to defend himself, he hung his head down in defeat.
"I am having no part in this. It makes me sick," she finished.
Remy had encountered disappointment from his father and brother numerous times for the things he did. Never had it felt as bad as this. She had a way of twisting the knife, doing a far better job than his own guilty conscience could.
"I'll take you back to the hotel."
"I can find it myself, thank you," she replied curtly. "I wouldn't want you to sell me out along the way."
That got his attention and dragged him from his self-pity. In alarm, he quickly responded, "Chere, I would never—"
"Don't call me that again," she snarled. "Ever."
She left him on his own out in the cold and on the street. Rogue made every effort not to shake in anger and disappointment. Honestly, she had expected better of him. He was so good at getting his way when it concerned him directly, but when it meant looking out for someone other than himself, Remy just didn't care.
It hurt more because she sort of liked him. She shouldn't have been surprised in the least that Remy willingly sold out mutants for money and worked for the government. After all, that was how Logan had first met him. Hadn't Logan been cursing Gambit's name well before she'd ever met him? She had forgotten about all the things Logan had called him.
Speaking of Logan, he needed to know. She pulled out her communicator when she was safely in their hotel room. It felt like tattling to her. She didn't want to feed Logan nasty information about Remy. But Logan needed to know. Surely, Remy expected her to contact Logan and tell him that the Thieves were still associated with Senator Kelly. She had to. It was her job.
Oh God.
Just like Remy had his job.
She had already dialed and Logan picked up. There was no way she couldn't do this now. Logan would sense her distress immediately.
"What's up, kiddo?' Logan asked suspiciously, already sensing her nervous silence.
After days of not hearing his voice, or anyone's voice, Rogue wanted to cry and cling to the communicator for dear life. It was stupid and irrational, but after the way things were going with Remy and being here in Moscow, all she wanted to do was listen to Logan's gruff voice in a soothing, comforting way. She sucked in her breath, composing herself quickly.
"The Thieves are still taking jobs from Kelly's men," she rattled out. It was like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quickly and it would hurt less.
Logan swore. "I thought that would end when we joined with them. Guess there really is no honour among thieves."
"Gambit and I are in Moscow right now, stealing computer chips. They contain Russian programming for mutant control and tracking. I think they are working on a form of Sentinel over here."
"I'm going to need to speak with Charles right away."
"Logan what should I do?" she pleaded. She hated how desperate she sounded.
"Sit tight, Rogue. We can't compromise anything with the Thieves just yet," Logan answered. "I need you to watch Gambit like a hawk, though."
Rogue sighed. After what she'd said to Remy, it was very likely she had already compromised things. She doubted he wanted to be anywhere near her right now.
"You okay?" Logan asked. His voice was thick with concern.
She sniffed sadly, forcing a smile. "Yeah… fine."
"He treatin' you well?"
"Yeah. No problems there."
"Good," Logan answered with solid satisfaction. "Oh! Kitty wants to talk to you, mind if I hand you over? She's jumping around like a kid off Ritalin."
"Yeah, I've missed Kitty the past few days," she answered. "I could use some girl bonding time."
"Take care, Rogue. I'll keep in touch."
"Bye, Logan," she answered sadly.
Kitty bounded onto the line like a breath of fresh air. "So has he made any moves on you yet?" Kitty asked eagerly.
"No!" Rogue answered sharply, trying to sound indignant. Secretly, she wanted to talk about Remy and loved Kitty for bringing it up. "What gave you that stupid idea?"
"Seriously, Rogue, the guy is practically a walking hard-on for you."
Rogue rolled her eyes. Obviously Kitty had been around Bobby again, trash talking.
"He is not."
"He's terrified of and attracted to you at the same time. What more could a girl want?"
"You only say that because you're not the one married to him. Most times he's a complete jerk with little disregard for anyone but himself."
"But he likes you."
"Says who?"
"Um, he picked you over me and Bella Donna."
"Because he just had every right to do that, didn't he?" Rogue clipped back.
"Come on, Rogue. Try and look at it from his point of view. I'm pretty sure he didn't want to get married either. He saw you, liked you, and went with door C instead of A or B. You can't tell me you wouldn't have tried the same if you were in his position. You'd want the one you liked, whether he was an option or not."
"He set me up and tricked me into marriage. I would never do that to anyone!"
"I'm not saying he went about it the right way, but you have to look at his mental conditioning. What do you suppose he's been taught to do his entire life?"
Rogue sighed. "Cheat, steal and lie," she mumbled. She hated it when Kitty went all psychobabble on her.
"Exactly! So you see, from his point of view, he didn't do anything wrong. He thinks he did something absolutely brilliant and ingenious."
Rogue made a grim face. She hated understanding him a little bit better. She didn't want to try and get along with him. It made things harder. She wanted to ignore him and hope he'd go away.
Gambit was an incredibly hard man to ignore. He had one of those personalities that infuriated and compelled her all at the same time. He kept himself around her as much as possible, even when he knew she was furious with him.
He was always there. Waiting. Biding his time for something. A white flag, perhaps? Was he waiting for her to surrender to him? It hadn't really occurred to her that he might actually like her, and that all his annoying habits were his way of saying he liked her.
She wasn't good with people. She liked her solitary Friday nights and her empty Saturday mornings. She had very little understanding of 'boy likes girl'. The best comparison for that was Bobby and Kitty. Remy did not act shy and awkward like Bobby at all.
"All I'm saying is just try and give him a chance. You'll be much happier if the two of you can at least get along," Kitty said in a mothering tone. "If not for your own sake, do it for the team."
"I'll try," Rogue muttered as Kitty let her go. Somehow talking with Kitty did not make her feel all that much better. It made her feel worse. Getting along with Remy was easier said than done at this point. Feeling lower than low, she changed back into her pajamas and crawled back into bed.
He hadn't arrived back to the hotel room until very late, and after their fight, she wasn't sure how to approach him. He seemed generally surprised that she was still awake.
"I didn't think you'd still be up," he spoke softly, avoiding her eyes.
"I was waiting for you," she answered and she swore he flinched.
He sat down on his side of the bed, keeping his back to her. "I don't like doing it, okay?" He sighed in exasperation. "I'm bound by Thieves code. I have no choice."
"Remy—"
"Do you have any idea what it feels like to know you're the traitor to your race?" He turned to her then. Desperation and guilt pooled up in his eyes.
Rogue swallowed hard. She couldn't imagine the agony and self-loathing he must suffer on a daily basis because of this.
"I'm sorry. I never should have said the things I said," she apologized.
"Why?" He gave a bitter laugh. "It's the truth."
"It doesn't mean I should have said them," she answered quietly.
He stiffened. "Look, I don't need your pity or sympathy," he snarled defensively. "I'm perfectly capable of—" His words died abruptly when she impulsively hugged him. He sat frozen in shock, not sure what the hell he should be doing. She was touching him of her own free will and not recoiling in disgust.
His insides stirred excitedly from the warmth of her body softly enveloping his. It wasn't meant to be anything more than a hug. He knew that. He fought the incredible urge to make a move, but his resistance waned. He couldn't help it—she wasn't wearing a bra. His arms slid slowly around her waist and up her back, drawing her closer to him.
She didn't resist his advances, but at the same time, he felt she didn't entirely welcome them either. She remained hesitant in his arms, so he moved slower than he normally would have. His fingers trailed gently over her back as he held her.
He wished that he had been more prepared for this. He still had on his thieving gear, and wished he could change first, or at the very least remove his gloves. He didn't dare pull away from her and break the moment for fear that it'd be gone when he came back. He was lucky to have gotten this far, holding her tightly against him. His next move of progression would be to softly cup her face in the palm of his hand and tilt her lips towards his.
A single kiss could take him quite far, and he was banking on it. She seemed worried and unsure, a natural response, she barely knew him. This would be a good way to get to know him, and quickly.
She allowed him to caress her cheek with his gloved hand, but the moment he leaned in for a kiss, she pulled back.
"I'm sorry, but we can't do this," she apologized with the same worried expression.
He didn't let her go as quickly as he had last time. She struggled against him before he asked, "Why not?"
"Because…" She hesitated. "I don't want to."
Something painful passed in her eyes and he knew she was lying. She hadn't been schooled to conceal her emotions as well as he had. Twice now, she had pushed him away. The first time he had thought he'd misread her. This time, he knew she wanted to, but something held her back.
He was all for 'no means no' and whatnot, but he wanted a better explanation than what she'd given him. Call it guilt on his part, but he wanted a straight answer. After all, he knew nothing about her, nothing about her past, her interests, nothing.
Questions he hadn't thought about raced through his mind. Why hadn't she been presented to him first before Kitty? She was the eldest, proper protocol stated that she should have been presented first, unless…
She had already been promised to someone else.
Maybe she was in love with her betrothed, and Remy had come along and ruined her life. It explained why she hadn't been presented to him first. It explained her original and current reluctance to him, and even her prudish, modest nature. She hadn't fallen willingly to his charms because she loved another man. It made perfect sense now. She still had loyalties and feelings to man she could never have.
All because Remy didn't want to marry Bella Donna or Kitty.
He was sick with jealousy and guilt. She was his now, and he wouldn't tolerate her affection for another man, even if that other man had been promised her first.
He wanted to yell at her, threaten her, force her to love him, but none of that would work. It would only push her further away. She wasn't in love with him. He may have gained the right to her through marriage, but her heart belonged to someone else.
And Remy desperately wanted her heart.
He didn't want to say it out loud. He didn't want her to confirm her love for another man. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine and that she could still be his.
"What will it take to make you mine?" he whispered in complete sorrow.
"A miracle," she answered sadly, sliding from his grasp.
He understood.
It was impossible.
She returned to her side of the bed, turning her back to him and sinking deep into the covers.
He had no chance in hell with her. Even as he climbed into bed beside her, careful to be above the sheet, he knew.
She would never be his.
He'd doomed them both.