Sole

by Liliath

"Wherever Hokage-sama goes, so does he. Uchiha Sasuke." Suspense and drama, hints of romance and shounen-ai, but, most importantly, the question of "what is going on between Sasuke and Naruto?"

11. Chapter 10

Chapter_Ten

I plea

"It's not going to work."

Shikamaru looked up at Naruto. "What do you mean?"

Naruto's brows twitched and he forced a smile on his face. "Oh, nothing, nothing…"

"Okay."

Well, snap.

Abruptly, Naruto shot up from his seated position, fists thrust in the air and his expression a grimace of irritation. "AH! Shikamaru! You know very well what I mean!"

"Oh, I do?"

"Damn it, Shikamaru…"

Shikamaru, the sleazy, cheeky asshole, actually smirked. "There is someone I could probably think of…"

Naruto, much like a beast, snarled, before making a "I give up" gesture with his arms and flopping back onto the ground, glowering nastily at the lazy bastard by his side who'd assumed a very relaxed position, almost as if on a trip to the mountains they'd gone, not a mission.

"Che, you know who I mean, so stop."

"Heh… Of course I know who you mean. He's the only thing you ever talk about."

Naruto huffed. "Not true, I talk about many other things."

"Uh-huh, and most of them are concluded with how you'd like to talk more but you can't, seeing as you have some ice queen to attend to or, wait, was it royalty last time?"

He scoffed. "Stop pulling my leg."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I wouldn't, too much of a hassle."

Naruto growled and pretended to ignore Shikamaru's haunting words, because they weren't haunting at all and he could certainly talk of other matters than one particular person, and of course-

-and…

…

… Damn.

Naruto cursed and let out a horrific sigh that to any onlooker would suggest a matter grievous had transpired not even moments ago – and still its presence would like a misty fog linger about to perturb and bother, that loathsome, wretched existence.

"… Fine. It is about Sasuke."

"Oh… figures."

"It's just." Naruto paused and – no, not sulking-okay, he was sulking, but for a darn good reason this time! Not that he ever didn't have a reason to but-well… Fine.

Fine.

"It really isn't working out with him."

Shikamaru, this time, wouldn't even look at him. "It's only been a few weeks, Naruto, be patient."

"Weeks? It's been two months, Shikamaru, and he's still such a prissy jerk-face."

"Heh, jerk-face, I'm sure he'd appreciate hearing that if he were here."

"Ah, see? Why did he even get picked to do it? I could have done it, too. 'Sides, you know that Sasuke isn't allowed to leave my side."

Shikamaru let out an incoherent sound and moved to sit up. "Yup," he croaked, stretching his hands above his head and looking ahead tiredly. "And you his. And he was picked because the girls picked him. It was a popularity contest, Naruto, and you lost it."

Naruto stared. "Che, I don't get what they see in him. I mean, I'm definitely more handsome than he, right?"

"Well, Sasuke certainly is good-looking, if the flock of girls always trailing behind stands for anything."

"Heh… I could definitely beat him. Right?"

"Naruto, sorry to disappoint, but I really wouldn't know, I'm only relaying what I personally witnessed… And whereas your presence garnered the attention only of a nearby elderly couple, Sasuke hogged all the females. So…" He quirked a quizzical eyebrow and Naruto made a gurgling sound in the back of his throat, faking vomiting before sulking in the corner of the room.

Stupid mission. Stupid undercover mission. And stupid Sasuke and his fanclub wherever he went. What did the girls even see in him? Such a lowly, cold bastard he was… Che. Cool… Right.

Right.

Naruto glared at Shikamaru.

Reason?

… Since Sasuke wasn't around and Naruto had no-one to glare at…

Shikamaru noticed and stared back, deadpan.

After a moment, Naruto gave up and slid down the wall to lie down.

It was a comfortable, nice, cozy little hotel they'd picked, and cheap, too, for anything more expensive would have made the finance department take their heads off. From there, they were to observe the recent cases of young men being robbed and falsely accused of harassment, and the mission would have been a quick, simple one, hadn't it been for the fact the elders preferred not to have the two biggest mistakes of village parade around freely, so though mistrustful of them they were, still they'd get sent on missions far, far away, on missions far too absurd and undeserving of the attention of those comparable to gods.

At least, as Naruto thought, in terms of power.

Seriously… such a waste of time…

"Why do you think so?"

Huh? Naruto looked to side to see Shikamaru gazing at him with a tidbit of curiosity perched up right on his face, and he took a moment to appear sour and thoughtful, before actually paying it some heed and immersing himself in the wonders of that one deceitfully simple question.

Eventually, his voice, strangely subdued, uncharacteristically low, echoed around.

"It's… living with him… It's not right. We hate it. We don't talk, we don't do anything. We don't even, you know, hang out, and I can't hang out with you guys with Sasuke around because everyone always gets so awkward on me, like I was, I don't know… going to DIE, that kind of a thing? Or like Sasuke was just going to, you know, SLAUGHTER? It's… it's… stupid. But it's not working out… nothing has improved since the first day."

He thought back. To how he'd been delusional, to how he'd walked onwards with Sasuke in tow and showed him the apartment they'd live in together, but how he'd mistakenly referred to the bedroom as to a living room and generally spazzed, for in surroundings unfamiliar, he'd failed – and how Sasuke had consequentially called him a blabbermouth and a stuttering wily-doo.

And the feeling of bright and good had been devoured by resentment.

Which had yet to change.

Naruto's eyes slipped close. "It all feels like a mistake… Every day I think to myself, that it's going to improve. Every day… I expect that change. And every day is the same. He acts like I'm not here and taunts me, mocks me… Asks me if I want to accompany him to the shower too, if we should sleep in the same bed… But only if he's in a good mood. But if it's a bad mood… It's like he hates me… Like…"

"… Does he?"

"He is allowed to…"

"Do you?"

Naruto thought. "If I hate Sasuke?"

"Yeah."

Naruto thought. Realized – he didn't need to think. So obvious, the answer, why bother asking? At the same time – to answer… Should he…

This, he had to think over.

Shikamaru, yet, a man known for patience, with all the time in the world available and at his disposal, didn't intervene with the thought processes, offering the blissful silence in turn for an answer, the compliance with the world rather than jumping in to cease the seamless flow.

For that, quietly, Naruto was grateful.

For a while, anyway.

As after that painstakingly long while, he came to a realization the silence really was a curse.

A trap, too. It lured out the deepest thoughts. Propelled them towards. Beckoned him to read them out loud and be confronted with reality.

The reality with which he'd fought for a year – which he'd detested for a year – avoided for a day longer – and still found so immensely overpowering. As if… This time, he couldn't run at all.

Could I ever?

"… Nah… I don't hate Sasuke. I really don't. Couldn't, huh…"

"Eh… Right… So what then?"

Naruto frowned. "Dunno. I told him you know."

"Hm? Not happy, was he?"

He noted the smallest of disdain in Shikamaru's voice and despite his best wishes a small smile was conjured up on his face. "He told me what I did or didn't was none of his business and if I wanted him to hold my hand the entire time, then he'd rather cut it off before I took initiative."

At the most inappropriate moment, Shikamaru snickered. "Jeez, he really can be a jerk-face."

Naruto laughed. "Told you."

Ha-ha. Just a brief moment to delude them both nothing was to transpire next.

But Naruto's vigor in preserving the sanctity of the heaviness in the pit of his stomach prevailed, until the laugh lines dissolved and he found himself staring up at the ceiling, the haunting of his mind heaving him down still so much and he heard a disgruntled groan come from his side, as Shikamaru, probably, noticed the change and-

"Is it really that bad, Naruto?"

Naruto barked out a laugh. "You really have no idea, Shikamaru… It's so screwed up."

"It could still improve."

"Maybe… But only in my dreams. The way Sasuke and I are…"

The way we are. It's like we're not. We're drawn to hate each other by some unimaginable force and with this ease I look at him and feel hate. And regret. And stupid, stupid regret. And Sasuke… I wonder what he feels…

Really, Sasuke… What do you feel?

"I'm pretty sure it's meant to get better eventually… You're rushing too much, Naruto. You're being troublesome. It's still been only a few weeks and relationships don't improve from one moment to another. It needs time so… Cease with your incessant worrying."

Naruto frowned. "Yeah…"

"Just do it…"

"Heh… Sure."

The door opened.

Shikamaru turned to look – Naruto felt the breath in his throat hitch; Sasuke. He could feel him. Inside him. As if things had been set motion – something, the tiny nonsensical tidbit of his inner fear, stirring from an incomprehensible emotion, and he felt himself move to a seated position, eyes wide but deadened white, because he really did feel him.

He really did feel Sasuke's loathing glare settle on his frame.

And he really did feel the attachment to that particular sensation as it settled in the air.

Naruto's expression contorted into a self-pitying grimace.

Shikamaru seemed to grumble under something under his nose, before, only seconds after Sasuke's entry, rising to his feet and assuming the detested position of a leader. "What did you find out?"

Murmur.

What were they saying? Like… whispering things… Why was Sasuke so quiet…?

Naruto's eyes remained transfixed at the ground below; soon afterwards, flowers would start blossoming around, yet their color would be black and hard – hard on the eyes, beseeching and daunting, as it knew no better than that, having been taught by the masters in their field to express only the furthermost spite rather than any benevolent love.

He clenched his teeth.

Still the murmur.

Goddamn it… He didn't want to look. Didn't want to look. Didn't. Did. Not. Want to look… Because he believed that upon doing so, he'd be met with his eyes, with his-

No matter.

Overcome with curiosity, Naruto looked at the lot to his side and-

-ha. Haha… Really, life had such an interesting way of kicking him in the shin, slapping the truth on him and saying "aren't you a smart little boy".

And Sasuke's eyes really were on him, really those two stones that seemed to seize him up and down without a notion for emotion, because where in the world could such a foul thing ever dare coerce him into a thing?

Really…

Naruto felt himself take a sharp intake of breath – then, as it reached his lungs, he snapped.

"Oh, what, jerk-face, not happy to see me? Ohhh, let me guess, right? Failed the mission. See, Shikamaru? I told you I should have gone with him, after all my charms-"

"The mission is over, Naruto." Shikamaru shot him a look of pity. "Sasuke was just giving me a report… Apparently, one of the girls had been doing it… As some kind of a twisted take on her love for her boyfriend, to remove all other rivals so he'd remain the only one around…" Nose scrunched up, brows knitted together, and Shikamaru moved to his left, turning on his heels and effectively blocking Naruto's view on Sasuke.

Maybe the bastard cared after all? Perhaps he'd come to belief that looking directly into Sasuke's eyes was the equivalent of being thrown in freezing mud?

Ha…

Naruto grimaced. "Heh… Right."

"Anyway," continued Shikamaru. "I need to confirm Sasuke's findings first, we can't leave just like that, but in case of Sasuke being right, the mission is finished and we are to leave the village before midnight."

"Heh… Fine."

"So-"

"Bitter, Naruto?"

Sasuke had spoken. Sasuke had moved. No longer behind Shikamaru he stood, the path between them cleared, the hatred in his eyes no longer hindered by anything in the world.

"Bitter that yet again, you are just a dead last?"

Naruto balled his hands into his fists. "Shut up."

"Or what? You're going to cry? I did the mission all on my own. You better remember it the next time you feel like crying your eyes out simply because things aren't working out in your favor."

"You bastard-"

"I don't have time for this," snapped the man curtly, turning around to walk away-

Naruto panicked. "Where are you going?"

Abruptly, Sasuke stopped yet to direct his eyes again on Naruto – and in them, Naruto and Shikamaru would, no doubt, see the cold remorseless disgust, the detached mind, the inability to say "but". Sasuke leveled him a stare-smirked.

"Shower, Naruto. Would you like to come with me? Just to make sure I'm not planning to slaughter anyone from there, or perhaps run? Pathetic little worm."

Naruto froze.

Sasuke waited-waited-

-scoffed, as if he'd expected it all along, and stalked off.

Silence followed.

Shikamaru looked at Naruto. Naruto looked away.

"Hah…"

He waited, too.

For something, a sign from above, perhaps, to change the world, but as nothing whatsoever arrived, he had to look up and see to it that Shikamaru understood.

Feeling most anguished, yet so skilled at hiding it, Naruto forced a smile, and shrugged.

"See, Shikamaru? I told you…"

Told you so many times…

"The thing with Sasuke… Is not going to work."

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

"It's not going to work."

She heaved out a sigh.

Both Chouji and Kiba stared at her, before turning at each other to share a knowing, despaired look and managing to remain composed even despite the gravity of the situation – or of Ino's constant worries.

Frustrated, the woman took a nearby branch to poke the blazing hot wood burning in the campfire, a disgruntled look overcoming her expression. "Seriously, Shikamaru thinks it's oh-so-easy… Just go to the Kazekage, he says, just ask him, he says… AGH! Like it was that easy! Seriously, that guy is so… I can't even… I mean…" She froze to portray the stunned feelings perfectly, before flailing about and looking as angry at their team leader as before. "And where is he?"

"Keeping patrols?" offered Kiba, helpless to soothe her worries – and also unwilling to, given the last male to have attempted that had consequentially been thrown ten feet away to land in the nearby bush and be stung by whatever small critter had occupied it at that moment.

The thought of the man's scream… Would haunt him for days.

He winced and sighed – but mid-sigh he was interrupted by Ino's fervent stare and immediately swallowed the rest of the noise.

She glared and huffed, before turning to play, quite literally, with fire.

Kiba wanted to flee. Instead, he inched closer to Chouji, seeking protection and also assuming, based on his recent findings, that he was to escape Ino's wrath, given her new-born respect for families and fathers determined to set things right.

Really, he'd love to shack up with a nice girl and make a baby or two, but it didn't work that fast and, also, he presumed such a thing would get him a good number of slaps instead of the desired pat on the shoulder.

So he waited, not feeling all that peachy, instead listening to the crackling of the fire, the rustling of the leaves, the shuddering breaths taken, knowing that in a moment or two it would re-emerge-

"UGH! But, seriously? This is so pissing me off. Shikamaru!"

… Yeah. That.

This time, Kiba couldn't help it; he groaned.

Thankfully, Ino was too busy coming up with the juiciest and most innovative swear words under her breath to very well notice he'd succumbed and done anything to anger her, which saved him many bruises, he knew, but also…

He looked at her.

Certainly, she was being over-dramatic, but certainly, she was right to be at least mildly smitten with anger for the man…

After all, gathering them all, saying all those things, subsequently requesting to leave the village for a mission – and even going directly to Naruto with it…

And now they were to meet the Kazekage and ask him what he knew. Really, what folly misled Shikamaru to believe the man who would see Naruto frequently only in his dreams knew more than anyone else?

He sighed – and it didn't matter.

Maybe useless it was, maybe nothing was to come out of it, but regardless of that, Kiba was willing to give it a try.

Ino cursed on for a few more, before, suddenly, Shikamaru appeared, and the obligatory argument followed, before Shikamaru settled his body right next to hers and their legs touched and Kiba was sure he saw the blush tint Ino's cheeks, before she quieted down completely and instead opted to watch the slithering blazing tongues, sometimes glancing to her right, sometimes to meet Shikamaru's eyes-

Kiba chuckled.

Love was to blossom even under such circumstances, eh?

Well, he thought to himself as he stood to his feet, because it was his turn to keep the watch and tomorrow they'd reach Suna at last.

Shikamaru better understand he's getting involved with a pregnant woman… But still…

With a stupid grin on his face, Kiba idly stroked Akamaru's snowy white fur turned ashen and dimmed silver by the night and rolled his shoulders back to hear the resounding, unpleasant crack.

You old dog, you old filthy dog… If nothing else, at least this could work out, eh?

They lapsed into comfortable silence, into the duties that awaited them, until the morning sun appeared on the sky above and before the noon lazily rolled by, they had reached the city borders, wherein halted they were at once by the suspecting guards, whose inquiring looks were explained with reason, whose mouths snapped agape as Shikamaru pushed past and were left to hang uncontrollably in the air, because – wasn't Shikamaru the Hokage's most trusted? Wasn't that what they'd heard repeated enough times to remain embedded in their minds?

Still they let them in, still Kiba knew the sinking feeling was only to get worse as the moment of truth neared and still – still, no-one even suspected what plan Shikamaru had devised in the meantime, still as if far too deep in the story to realize his actions were contradictory; speak of truth, think of lies – didn't that equal to being a goddamn, stinky little hypocrite?

They were taken to their Kage, told to wait, told to be patient, eventually let in before a minute had passed, because, as the jounin said, Kage was most intrigued by their arrival, yet also expectant, and Kiba was starting to make sense of the situation, and they were allowed into the office, all of them – weapons not checked, left, in fact, intact, and Temari and Kankuro stood by either side of their brother, as the brother's eyes slowly fell to rest on their figures and-

-why did it feel like they were hated? Scrutinized from up-close, with no distance between them when in reality Kiba could see the desk, the distance, the physical sort, positioned conveniently in a way that any attacker would fail in seeking revenge on the leader-

-so why then…

"Gaara." Started Shikamaru. Someone bristled. The obligatory "what insolent child, don't speak in such way to Kazekage-sama" was to filter in the air, but Gaara moved.

With him, the world moved.

He made an idle gesture with his hand, stopping all protests before they were to glimpse the light of the day, and staring only at Shikamaru, who, only moments later, continued.

"We need your help. I'm certain the news have already reached you too. About what happened to Konoha… But I'm also certain you're missing a number of things."

"Maybe," admitted the man, speaking slowly, with a sign of fatigue in his voice that Kiba did not notice the last time he'd seen him.

Unequivocally, he knew things unfamiliar to them, yet the option of sharing would not be offered.

"Gaara…"

Please, Gaara? Was that what Shikamaru wanted to say?

Gaara's eyes remained cold. "Tell me what happened."

"It might take a while," admitted Shikamaru with uncertainty, but Gaara-

-"Go on." Urged him on.

Shikamaru started, not taking the opportunity to sigh heavily, launching immediately into the explanation which all present safe for the Suna people had heard numerous times, yet there was something compelling about hearing it again, and despite his best wishes Kiba found himself straining his ears to hear on, each and every word spilled from Shikamaru's word gulped with need as if a thirsty man in the eye of the storm he was, with the storm raging above, awarding him with a few precious libelous drops of water – which rained down on him in rivulets that, smeared across his chest, resembled perspiration – and had similarly gathered on his mind.

When it was all over, Kiba shuddered, the tremulous thoughts forcing him to remain rooted on his spot even if the muscles ached so hard already, unused to standing still for hours to no end; he would have jumped up and down, hopped with adrenaline, but instead he stared at the ground, listening to own frantic heart, to the erroneous course of all, the heartbeat which could have been his doom, far too long and strong for the party present, but when Gaara spoke, it was putting the stop to his imagination, to the storm, and the eye was replaced by the lavender shade of green, the lightness of it, the unperturbed strength of the words-

"I had known it would happen… The irrefutable truth which Naruto had sought in reality to shield from the eyes of beholder… I had known from the sight only, from the first moment Naruto had spoken to share the irrevocably sullied tale of love, that Sasuke and he were to walk down this path."

Kiba seemed to have choked; an incoherent sound left his throat, wretched, and he shook his head. "How did you know?"

The Kazekage-hero placed a hand over his chest-

-confusion.

Kiba blinked and shared an incredulous look with the rest, pondering if even Gaara had been inadvertently dragged into the whole mess without their knowledge – and to their utmost shock, but instead the man's hand disappeared in his robes, before re-emerging moments later, a small… pouch perched up on the palm?

Utterly confused, Kiba allowed himself to stare.

Gaara, on the other hand, remained eternally oblivious to the pressing of the time on their shoulders, to the weight dragging them down.

He lapsed into the silence deemed personal and specific for no-one but him, but none too wise they remained silent, perhaps suspecting a great gesture to be hidden in the act, perhaps… knowing something they knew not-the weight of that certainty helping them remain still and silent exactly as the red-haired man opposite of them, reminiscence the obvious thing on first glance – the flavor to his spice, all engraved in his eyes.

Moments later, Gaara's eyes closed. In that pure gesture, Kiba recognized hoarse and pained – echoing and ominous force.

"Because… Uzumaki Naruto is my precious friend. He opened my eyes, changed me… He became my beacon of light and hope, he submerged me in it, disregarding my moans of protest, for he, too, had dipped himself whole along with me, and he looked at me with those frivolous eyes that spoke redundantly of love… In reality, I didn't need that. I didn't… Require the amends. Yet, Uzumaki Naruto… he… showed me. And became my cherished person."

The hand around the pouch, tightly enclosed.

"He became my love."

Love.

Kiba pursed his lips into a thin line.

"So you understand then…" Shikamaru had gathered his courage to speak, the courage pushed aside with ease by the respect for the leader. "You know… Can you help us? I know Naruto told you… But what and how… How exactly you know… how… what I didn't…"

"Humans, Shikamaru, are strange beings… They are, assuredly, the most unpredictable species… What you couldn't have predicted… Hm, judging from what you told me, you'd known from the start their tale was to have no happy ending, yet when your words were proven to be right, you realized you'd never properly looked…"

Was… Was it just Kiba, or did Shikamaru really look ashamed? He frowned.

Gaara hid the pouch back underneath his clothing.

"You were wrong, Shikamaru, on many accounts… You didn't see what I saw, or, better yet, you refused to see it… You came to me, assuming, I daresay, I'd seen it. Because of my bond. Because of us. Because of what had been done. To us… You would be correct this time. Naruto's well-being matters to me immensely, even if it is not to improve without Sasuke's to accompany it. So closely they are intertwined… The two of them."

He paused.

"I wish I had a different answer for you… Yet I'm afraid that what is to be shared won't make the matters any easier to solve."

Shikamaru nodded. "What do you know?"

"I have… sensations. Feelings. Impressions…" he trailed off… And looked at them all. "What I know, huh… I know only this much. You want a piece of advice so better you could deal with it, solve it… I knew all was to transpire this way because it was too much. It's too much a burden for one person to bear, enough to smother and wring, enough to make one feel… Sole. Naruto, you never knew… I realized it the moment I saw him. He loves Sasuke. Yet love is an emotion far too complex to exist simply, it's directly interwoven into your body and soul, it is that which is essential for survival, to preserve your very existence and sanity… And Naruto does not have that. Naruto does not have the knowledge of that…"

"What are you saying…" Ino looked confused. "Naruto is quite loving, I'm sure? I mean… after all he's done for us, he must be…?"

"Undoubtedly." Gaara cocked his head to the side. "But if he refuses to acknowledge and see it? Naruto, when he spoke of Sasuke… There was confusion, repulsion and love. So much of that love. In my life, I've not seen a person this possessed by one emotion. Possessed indeed… A bit too much. The difference between Naruto and Sasuke is, however, that whereas Naruto is so far ignorant to this truth, Sasuke has embraced it… He did not shield his eyes from me not once, and wore the emotion proud…"

"You're saying," started Shikamaru. "That… Naruto is ashamed of his feelings?"

"Ashamed? That I'm uncertain of. I failed to pinpoint his reasons for hiding the reality, but I knew it, had seen it and knew Sasuke had, too… I knew thus that soon afterwards, the man would take action…"

"Action," repeated Ino dully and subsequently shook her head. "That's absurd! That's basically suggesting that Sasuke just wants Naruto to admit he loves him and then, well-"

"Admitting you love someone,"-interrupted her Gaara, voice brisk and piercing-,"is such a heinous, fearsome thing… Will you be turned down, will you feel content with admitting it? It's not about saying the words, it's about coming in terms with who you are. If you love, that love becomes a part of you. If you deny yourself that love, that existence of a something essential to you, you perish."

"Metaphorically speaking, of course," offered Chouji softly.

"No matter…" Grumbled Ino, vicious beyond repair, and huffed. "Still… You're saying, basically, and correct me if I am wrong that… They love each other, but Naruto refuses to admit it and that exact thing drives Sasuke to try to kill him, to leave him and to basically rip his heart into tiny bits and pieces… Am I right or am I right?"

Gaara sighed. "You are right."

Ino stared and-let out a disgruntled, irritated moan of displeasure that no-one chastised her for, given that even Gaara's siblings didn't look any wiser than the rest of them, and Kiba had the inkling Shikamaru himself was at a complete loss of words.

Well, not complete… "I… See. That… I suppose in some twisted way, that would make sense. Only… What now? What do we do now? Knowing that… Alright, there is this possibility that you are right, but how do we go around it? What do we do, Gaara? Naruto is… Naruto is… Broken… He is…"

"Not beyond repair. Sasuke can heal him."

Shikamaru scoffed. "Sasuke can, alright, but Sasuke is not here. He's not there for him. He's left him and Naruto-"

"In Naruto's memories." Once more Gaara did the interrupting, once more to allow his decisive voice to filter in the air in thick, intangible tendons. "Sasuke still remains. The only person who can really answer all your questions now is Naruto himself."

"Naruto won't talk." Chouji had spoken. Involved, yet uninvolved the man was, as if standing a safe distance away, an innocuous onlooker. "Shikamaru is right. Naruto is breaking and his memories of Sasuke aren't helping. He's completely goners…"

"Not… completely, right?" chirped in Temari, genuinely concerned. "I mean… Come on, he can't just… because of one person, right?"

"For one person, Temari," spoke Gaara again, ever-so-tranquil. "People have done worse things. Should your life revolve around but one human being, you became detached, separated from the rest… all on your own accord. With the person gone, you lose all ground under your feet and truly become the sole island amidst nowhere."

She stuttered-"I… Gaara…"-pain caressing her face with care. Gaara saw and offered a transient smile, before once more glancing at them.

"You must speak to him. Naruto can give you the answers. What exactly led to this situation… To this monstrous grief… Only Naruto knows. His memories of Sasuke, a constant burn in his heart… I wish it had been me… I would have never…"

Kiba blushed. And immediately denied the presence of the blush. Thankfully, all eyes were far too transfixed on Gaara to note his dismayed expression, and he fought to hide it soon, because, really… They didn't need to know that…

… Well.

The blush deepened and, flustered, he looked at his feet.

Seriously, Naruto, what are you? A freak magnet? First Sasuke, then Gaara? Hell, I bet if Neji was any bigger of a freak, he'd be all over you, too…

God. That was… Kiba wasn't sure he could handle all this intense liking of each other… Granted, a part of him felt mildly swept away by jealousy, as he had no such person to claim as his own, whereas here and now… Gaara was…

… Damn, really… But I guess it makes you one lucky bastard, too, huh?

Inwardly, he smiled.

Outwardly, the blush regressed.

And time unfroze – to move onwards again.

"No matter," continued Gaara, a certain distance in his eyes; there, in his mind, perhaps, he was with Naruto. "I know what I saw. The fear in Naruto's eyes… Naruto could never look at Sasuke with those loving eyes… Could never handle to be seized with that glare… Passionate, I'd call it, but it goes way beyond that… The answers you're looking for really, to, perhaps, great misfortune, lay with Naruto…"

Someone sighed.

Shikamaru shifted, rolled his shoulders back and let out a heavy sigh. "I was afraid of that… how to do that? How do we get the truth out of him?"

Gaara was helpless. "That I can't tell you… What I would do, however, I know…"

Suddenly, Kiba wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Despite his best wishes, however, he mustered up some courage and spoke. "Um… What would you do?"

Gaara shot him a weird look, perhaps finally acknowledging his existence, before-"I'd ask."

"… Oh."

Kiba shared a look with the rest of the team.

"Ask…" repeated Chouji.

"Ask…" frowned Ino.

Kiba's grimace was of helpless disbelief. "Ask."

Shikamaru's eyes once more rested on Gaara, a degree of petulance in them, before he let all out. "Ask… I think we could do that. We'll just ask Naruto to share the whole story with us…Getting your input… Well, it helped."

"Did you really need it?" Gaara cocked his head to the side.

Shikamaru hesitated, before languidly turning around and grinning. "I needed a good slap in the face… Or maybe just practice for it? And, well… Maybe I thought you deserved to know. As Naruto's friend…"

Before following Shikamaru, Kiba stole a glance at Gaara, to see the eyes swarm with warmth unsettling, jealousy-invoking, yet altogether soothing.

"Yes… Thank for you this… I hope for your sake, for Naruto's sake, that all works out in your favor… That you find out…"

Kiba didn't know.

He understood simpler things, the basic things, but the bond of Naruto and Sasuke which he'd dismissed at first eluded him. And now, with Gaara's words hanging above their heads like the pendulum meant to certainly swing the opposite way, he wasn't even sure he understood love.

Just a word, right?

Shikamaru was walking. Without any goodbye, they left the village, spiraling towards doom-

Ah…

Not doom, no, but Kiba couldn't help it; asking Naruto, inquiring about the truth, demanding to get it… Wasn't that the only thing he'd denied them the whole time?

And promised to tell them in due time?

Kiba, as he jumped on Akamaru's back, could only think of a few things.

First, he honestly didn't understand.

Second, love was losing its denotative meaning to him.

And third.

Third…

He swallowed the bile gathered at the back of his throat.

Looked forlornly to his aside, at all those around.

I'm sorry, guys… but I don't think we can do this.

He felt sick to stomach. Any moment now, he'd throw up all they'd rammed down. All that spite and hatred, all talks about love.

That love which he… He honestly didn't understand.

I don't think we can get Naruto back.

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

Back.

Days. And weeks. And months. And years.

Time is of the essence. Time is money. Essence is life. Money is life?

If he were to sell his clothes and stuff, would he get his life back?

"Hok-… ho… I-… Hokage-sama, new reports-"

If he were to sell those two, what great a portion of life would be returned to him?

"Ugh, frustrating, let me speak to him-Naruto-"

If he were to-

"Naruto-"

He turned around-

-to see the man's lithe, lean form in the doorway, a hand planted against it, fingers drumming impatiently, a smirk on his face, the face partially shielded by his pitch black hair-

-and blinked wolfishly at Tsunade.

"Brat… reports. Read them? Understood?" She threw them on his table.

He looked at them-

-his hands slammed hard onto it, balled into fists, their owner muttering darkly something under his breath, proclaiming him an idiot for ignoring the paperwork, for the courtesy of his sloth would assuredly land them in prison of boredom, for doomed they were to deal with it-

-and saw names.

… What… was…

"Naruto… Ugh… Forget about it… Let's go, he won't listen."

What… Was.

What is.

What.

Naruto looked up.

Tsunade's retreating back-

-he halted right there, just an arm's reach from the door, standing, frozen, perhaps, before his upper body angled sidewards and eyes black like the night pierced him through and through, a hand outstretched, slowly risen, in his direction, the slight gesture beckoning him, a smile stretching-

-on that face gripped with regret-

-on his youthful face, on the features chiseled, now enticing, as the smile really did fit him the best. It really did.

"Come, Naruto, let's go."

-she left.

The door shut.

Naruto stared.

Stared.

At his hands. The reports. Seated at his desk.

Confused.

How… did I get here… and why is Sasuke… why do I keep seeing him… what the… hell?

A raspy slithering something interrupted his thoughts-

"It is obvious, brat… Obvious and amused. Disconcerting, but true…"

Kyuubi?

"You are losing your mind…"

Naruto rose to his feet, panicky, what-the-

-nononon,he wasn't-he was strong of course haha and strong and he could handle it and this was ohsostupid and and and-

-what…

Why.

Warmth on his face.

Fake. An illusion.

An illusion of him leaning close, pinning him against the wall, closing the distance, while cheekily, daringly staring into his eyes-

-Why.

"Sasuke…"

His Sasuke dissolved with a mere blink.

Naruto slid down the wall.

"Why… do I keep seeing you…?"

Inner turmoil. Demons. Dastardly men.

Warmth on his face. Altogether fake.

Superficial hold. Forever lost.

The memory of him…

Holding him close…

And standing there, a dimmed copy of the real persona, taunted him so.

Naruto's mind melted away. Helpless, he sat on the ground, staring at the master illusion, at the cold expression behind which, visible only through vigilance and effort, he saw the remnants of affection which he showed when he wasn't looking-

-which Sasuke had directed at him many, many times, which Naruto had not seen until now-

His hands fell by his side.

The Sasuke disappeared.

In his mind, he heard the low, dripping drawl.

"Naruto… you… are such a lost, lost little fool…"

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

"How many numbersss now, Sssassuke?"

A face far too resembling a snake hovered nearby his, the unnaturally dilated pupils surrounded by a faint shade of gray and scales adorned the face instead of actual skin, growing pronounced and hard to form the body of the snake from which two arms and a head lacking a neck protruded. On top of it, the half-human, half-snake creature was covered by a miserable, shredded and ragged clothing that smelled of rot and filth, occasionally to slip free from the creature's shoulders as they were almost non-existent in a sense, as the thing, in all reality, was more of an experimental, animated corpse than a living being.

A disgusting, animated corpse.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, landing briefly on the disfigured face, before, dead, moved away.

"Too few."

Saying that – he walked off, the thing following closely behind, slithering a precarious distance of one foot behind him, letting out a sound clogged between a laugh and hiss.

"Too few, you sssay? Isssn't forty enough for you, Sssassuke?"

"No."

"Oh… Lord, my lord… We haven't enough sssspace to fit them all," it hissed, apologetic, and Sasuke halted.

Long, damp and dark corridors to all sides greeted him, created as a maze structure to confuse and slow down all incoming enemies, and Sasuke, hereby a man proclaimed officially insane, had to give the venomous dastardly man a credit for that; Orochimaru, if nothing else, had at least succeeded in making all his sanctuaries for more gruesome and uninviting than most people were able to stomach, with the stench distinguishable only with difficulty from death lingering presently in the air to poison all the good inside.

The good to wither away… For all eternity.

Sasuke glanced airily at the creature.

Well, good thing was, he had none of that good left inside.

None whatsoever to be swayed by the wind of putridity.

Nothing to worry about…

The being slithered past him, circling him, stopping near once more to rise up so their eyes were on the same level.

"Sssassuke… iss it a good idea, sssstil? Ssso much for one revenge… I thought you were long passsst it…"

Sasuke stared.

His hand rose, slowly, a gentle and soothing little thing-resting on the scaled skin, pushing-

-the wall exploded. The being remained curled in an awkward position and its lack of any spine in the literal sense saved it, as otherwise it would have been broken in numerous places and sticking out from the bottom.

A loud, pained hiss followed, yet obediently the thing once more moved to remain by his side. Forever by his side.

Sasuke's hand fell by his side, hanging there, limp.

And his eyes fell on the ground, to rest there, emotionless.

Its head moved up, their eyes met-

-Sasuke felt rage overcome him.

So much.

He wanted to kill.

On. Sight.

"…You know nothing about me. About my intentions. And my revenge."

His blood boiled.

It looked at him with those wide eyes, pretending to be human when a resurrected thing it only was, its existence a taboo and filth, disgust piled in its name, and yet it insisted on being so startlingly human and feeling, hissing in the laughing, joking manner, in that… Seething.

Seething.

It backed away, the eyes rolling back, the scales losing their shine, the clothing to fall off…

Sasuke's hands balled into fists.

"Don't… Dare assume you know a thing about me. Get me more people. And this time…"

The dust settled. One wall ruined. Still the maze would hold.

This place would hold for as long as his resolve.

"This time, Kabuto… Don't screw it up…"

He turned to walk away.

"Or I will put you back in the grave I'd dug you from."

Numbers. Many of them. Yet still so little. How much more would he need before the inevitable arrived? How much of this would he have to suffer through – before he realized?

Thump.

Thump-thump.

Thump.

He looked up at head.

Saw his smiling face.

His heart clenched.

Naruto…

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

A small bowl with rice was placed in front of her.

Kiba sat down next to it, chopsticks clasped firmly in his hands, and offered the pale woman a transient, kind smile.

"How're you doing, Hinata?"

She grumbled, lower lip curled over the upper, cheeks flushed, and in her hands she clasped firmly the hems of her duvet.

"Kiba-kun… You don't need to do this…"

Ever the cocky one, he smirked and shrugged. "Don't need to, want to. Wanted to check up on you, heard you hadn't, well, recovered since, so…"

She gulped, nodded and pulled the duvet up until only the lavender eyes and the dark strands of hair sprawled out all around her head were visible.

Kiba noticed and snickered, bringing out the color of red on her face and making her pretend she'd disappeared, been swallowed up by the floor mid-laugh, because, really…

"Come on, Hinata, it's not as bad…"

She winced.

Well, hungry… Somewhat, yes, but in Kiba-kun's presence?

Embarrassed, she shook her head franticly, hoping to deflect his attempts, but Kiba only looked her directly in the eye before managing yet another cocky smirk and-with a loud, startling bark, he pulled the covers off and Hinata screeched out of fright, quickly scrambling to a seated position and covering her chest, even if fully clothed she was.

Kiba roared with laughter, falling back and laughing out loud, whereas Hinata only sat there, mildly awkward, bemused, yet also the ringing sound echoing around was of the contagious sort and soon after, she found herself smiling gingerly even despite her best wishes, so when Kiba calmed down and resumed his previous position, she no longer seemed to resemble the ghastly, paled ghost roaming aimlessly the corridors of the mansion.

And he smiled, a hearty, filled look in his eyes, before pushing the bowl in her direction.

Hinata glanced at it. Sighed. "Kiba-kun… thank you for coming here."

"Yeah, no problem. You doing any better?"

"Ah… Yes. Yes, I think so."

"And still you won't leave the house… Damn," he muttered, nodding approvingly, to her utter dismay, as if marveling at the way she handled the situation frankly horribly.

"Kiba-kun, that's not good…"

"You telling me? Damn, girl, should be telling yourself… Oh, come on, Hinata, it's not like he's going to be there if you walk out the door, you know? That's just absurd."

Hinata closed her eyes, brows knitted together, face going white, and she pushed the bowl away. "I… I know…"

"Then?"

She muttered something incomprehensible under her breath, casting a sage look in the direction of Kiba's knees – the only part of his body she could clearly see, given she'd lowered her head and many strands had fallen to obscure her eye-vision – reciprocated not by the poor knees, and thus, after a while, Hinata fidgeted, a clear giveaway to her thoughts, before-

"I… I know it doesn't make sense, Kiba-kun… I know I'm… being… selfish and…"

"Selfish? Nah. We're all pretty much affected by this whole ordeal."

"Not you, Kiba-kun."

"Meh… I am. Just, let's say…" He paused to think for a moment. "Let's say that I'm kind of too awesome to let it bother me? Well."

Hinata didn't know what face she made upon hearing those words, but as Kiba took in a sharp intake of breath and scrambled wildly for words, she reckoned it must have been foul.

"I-I mean… I. Well. Look, Hinata… What I'm trying to say… What's happened… What still is happening has hit us all, but we can't afford the privilege to rest. Your feelings are justified, really, and you do have a legitimate reason for feeling this way, okay? It doesn't put us at ease to know all these things have been happening while we just looked on, not knowing a damn thing. But…"

"But," she continued, exasperated, embarrassed, this time, for a definite reason. "Someone's got to step up. I… Know. To be honest, I don't know why I'm acting this way… Perhaps. Perhaps it's because…"

"Because,"-he inched closer, placed his hands on hers,-"you know he doesn't love you."

He wiped a single tear off her cheek.

Hinata held onto his hand.

"Mhmm…"

"Don't you worry… I'm sure Naruto does love you. Just, you know…"

"Ah…"

"Oh, yeah. Not making this any better, am I?"

She smiled. "You're doing fine, Kiba-kun. It's me who needs to stop whining."

"No, that's not-"

"Thank you, Kiba-kun."

He blushed.

Maybe because she'd touched his cheek?

Her smile widened. "Really, thank you, Kiba-kun, for coming to see me, to talk to me… I appreciate it. I… I need to… Move. Onwards."

"Y-yeah… Onwards," he muttered, averting his eyes from hers, the blush infuriating. "I… Yeah. Onwards, that's the only possible way."

Yeah.

… Okay, she ought to pull away before he, well… Still, her hand on his cheek felt nice, comforting, even, enough she felt some of the pressure on her chest dissolve, and certainly the cherished sensation would have lasted just an eternity longer, hadn't he abruptly lurched back to put more distance between them, looking pretty much like she, as she assumed, had whenever Naruto had appeared.

Well.

Now, she reckoned, now she could at last consider the option of laughing at herself and those puerile antics of hers.

At last, maybe, that portion of freedom, the liberation of her heart… Or, maybe, the ability to look back and still acknowledge herself as the woman diligent and wild in her feelings so pure and bold for him.

Maybe, Hinata was hoping, in time she could look him in the eye, and still feel she loved him… Still feel, admit it, and not flinch.

Maybe.

Her heart jumped, a low tune coursing through her veins.

Kiba-kun was here with her-

… Oh.

Oh, wait. Wait…

Hinata flailed. "Ah, Kiba-kun!"

"Eh?"

"You're here!"

"… Ugh, yeah?"

"I mean-no!"

"No?" He looked confused.

Hinata stuttered and blushed a pretty shade of rosy red, almost knocking the bowl over in her attempts to manage a coherent sentence. "You went on a mission with Shikamaru-san-kun-er… Ahh, I mean, and you're back, which means, you-"

Clarity dawned on him and Kiba relaxed. "Oh, yeah. That's right, we're back. Shikamaru's gone to chat to Naruto for a bit. God knows how's that going to go. Frankly, he looked a bit pale himself, you know?"

"Ah… And what did you find out?"

"I'd really love to tell you, Hinata, honest…"

"But… you can't." Crestfallen, Hinata eyed Kiba's knees again-

Kiba scoffed loud enough to garner her utmost attention. "Nah, not that. I just don't know myself. I mean, it was so freaking confusing, I didn't understand a word. Imagine this were a story; god knows the readers would be so pissed because it's got as much clarity as I have girlfriends."

He froze.

On his face, both brows twitched, a vein pulsating on the forehead. "I just… insulted myself fairly well, didn't I?"

Hinata inclined her head to the side, mulling the answer over, but Kiba beat her to it with a melodramatic, echoing screech.

"Don't. Say anything… Point being, it was… Gaara… Okay. He had some answers. Some… And Shikamaru looked baffled and bedazzled and no-one understood a thing. But, basically…"

He spoke.

Hinata listened, ears strained.

At the very same moment, as Kiba launched into an explanation and whispered hurriedly into her ears the nonplussed non-existence of pleasantries of their findings, as above them the moon shone wanly and moonlit the sky was, as here and then the whispering would be interrupted by Hinata's startled yelps, somewhere else Sasuke counted his numbers, reaching fifty and being vengefully discontent, somewhere else Naruto gazed out the window, seeing only him, and somewhere else Shikamaru walked in the resolved frenzy towards Naruto's room, counting his luck, seeing only the confusion and hoping, praying at once, that this time.

This time, he really would set things right.

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

Gods.

That was much harder than he'd expected.

Shikamaru cleared out his throat and – still, he was hesitating. Past misgivings had taught him that each plan, no matter how good, would fail, because the human factor – which he'd never accomplished well – would act a hindrance to any step.

Yet who'd make the mistake this time? He – or Naruto?

Shikamaru gazed intently at the door – it… Did not return the favor.

He blinked, stunned, then sighed.

Right.

Right…

He'd screwed up. He'd fix it. He'd talk. And Naruto… Would listen.

One last time, Shikamaru enjoyed the liberated air in his lungs, the ability to breathe freely without an ounce of regret, and the ease in his muscles, off to be spirited away moments later.

And a second later-

-he was opening the door, stepping inside.

This time he didn't heed the surroundings, or their warning signs, for he'd seen them those days ago, and still the memory had not parted with him, so this time-this time he did not freeze, rather walking towards him, him who stood by the window again, as if he'd not left it since then, him whose robes had obviously been changed, as no blood marred them, as if but a figment of imagination the entire theater had been.

But there was no doubt that all had been real. Real, tangible, like his anguished screams.

Shikamaru halted just a few feet away from him.

The door lagged.

And shut close only then.

The snap resounded around and Shikamaru looked towards the ground. He saw the shadow of the man, saw it stand on top of the floor lit by moon, saw the romanticism in the scenic picture, saw so much and nothing real.

"Naruto, I came to talk to you."

And he saw the shadow shift, all that suggested actual movement, yet that was impossible, that would mean-

"Did you?"

Shikamaru looked up to find himself meeting Naruto's brazen, barren eyes.

Ha… Ha-ha… That was… achievement or just a figment of his imagination?

He would have smiled. Instead, he composed himself quickly, trying to ignore the fact that Naruto's eyes reflected the minor joy on his face, that in them he saw his own expression – which faltered here and there, driven by an unknown desire to break out into a huge beaming mask and blind all around.

Absurd, really… But.

"Y-yeah… I mean." A quick look at his feet. No, startling-what was he doing? Why the-a fidget, a wince, and the presence of the piercing blue eyes on him, and he'd never imagined them to be this electrifying-

Ha.

He laughed.

I might just understand what Sasuke sees in you.

"Sorry." Apologetically, he smiled at the new generation yellow flash, and the flash – inclined his head to the side, eyes averted as a subsequent action, and it could have been Shikamaru's imagination, but there was a red flicker in them, as if-

"What did you come to talk about?"

"Ah… It's." He remembered. Suddenly. What had blinded him? Left him stunned, incapable of uttering a reply… What was this… Sensation? Did he feel as if-something was grasping at his heart, choking him?

Shikamaru took a deep, shuddering breath – ignoring the air that clattered, ruthless, against his ribcage, ignoring the ever-present beating of his heart-the one increasing substantially with every second, the one sending the thoughts to spiral up and down like a mad moody rollercoaster, the one to-

-god. He was being such a child.

Naruto had returned to looking out the window-

Shikamaru sighed. "I came to talk to you about Sasuke."

Willingly or not, Naruto tensed. Didn't reply, didn't say a word-

-ha, stupid blues or not, Shikamaru wasn't letting go. "We must talk. About Sasuke. About what happened. About everything."

"Huh… Why… You already know everything… You were there…"

"I wasn't."

"You… were."

Shikamaru let a nasty grown mar his features, let it overcome them completely, let it – possess him. "No, I wasn't. Even the moments I'd witnessed I'd foolishly ignored. Not once had I properly looked, not once had I seen a thing, acknowledged the reality. I never looked, Naruto. I never looked at what you two did. I never looked at you, Naruto. I never… did. Never did."

He was met with a startled, genuinely so, look engraved in Naruto's eyes.

Even moments later, that would not change. "I don't… understand."

Cursed, of course he wouldn't. Of course he… Shikamaru watched Naruto trudge across the spacious room to its opposite end, for what exact purposes to remain a conundrum never to be solved, but – he reckoned Naruto was putting distance between them, or projecting this way what he in reality felt. At least that assumption he reached as he watched the back retreat, as the back so miniscule disa-what?

"Naruto,"-a pause to allow the scornful frown to fully form, letting it blossom on his face,-"- have you lost weight?"

"Neh…"

"You must have, the clothes are just…"

Shikamaru didn't finish that sentence. For once in his life, he wasn't afraid of the conversational partner leaving, given that Naruto appeared to have opted for remaining frozen on spot than moving at all, but something wouldn't let him rest at ease, something to constantly poke and prod at his thoughts… As if again he was missing an essential piece of information. This realization – this dawning – could have snapped his neck on spot; yet another thing to have slipped free, past his fingers, yet another detail to have been overlooked in the grand scheme of things yet another – were there more? Were there thousands, hundreds? All scattered around, their positioning disorderly, all fragments invisible so far so he'd only have to keep stumbling over them constantly until he just tripped and face dived into one-but. But. What was he missing now?

What-

Naruto turned around; irises blown, banded – circled red and possessed, as if-

"… When was the last time you ate and slept? Really slept and ate?"

Naruto stared. "I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Slipped?"

"Slipped-as in, it slipped from your mind? How can that slip from your mind?"

Suspicious, marginally so; disregarding all facts known, Naruto's dependence on Sasuke couldn't have breached the boundaries of all logic, couldn't have forced him to disregard own welfare – or made him forget about all the criteria to be met to ensure one's immediate survival. The thought of… one love being that strong was sickening, enough he'd turn around-

Right then, Shikamaru realized that old habits died hard and it didn't matter he'd thought to have persuaded himself of the truth days ago – still, securely shielded by a blanket of white lies and rose gardens, he'd reverted back to his old self. Had once more sought help in rationality, petulant.

Damn it.

Was it truly that hard to accept it? To know that someone would love another person-did it matter to him these were men-or maybe that it was a friend and-maybe having things happen right under his nose was maddening a fact for someone whose sole I revolved around seeing the unmentionable, noticing the unobtainable, becoming the-

"Why do you want to know?"

Huh?

Momentarily ensnared by the tidbits of confusion growing, Shikamaru stared at Naruto without the slightest of ideas, but as the previous monologue of his hit full force, sped up and started the engine, as all things akin to spirituality and intuition formed the merry little band of home-wreckers that assumed direct lead of all thoughts, it clicked all back and Shikamaru sensed that-

"Why do you want to know those… things. I mean. Why now?"

-that it could very well work out.

With Naruto's eyes once more directed on his and the inquiry only slightly marring the intonation of his questions, it became apparent to him that if nothing else, he'd garnered himself a reputation of never letting things go. Naruto was asking back. And Shikamaru would take advantage.

He stepped forward, yet another cut to the distance between them, and this time-it really wasn't hard, because this time-Shikamaru acknowledged how very afraid a man he was. Afraid of – what he'd know. What he'd never known. And always ignored.

"Because it can help."

"How?"

"Help us understand."

"What?"

"You."

"Huh."

Was it too late, was Naruto pondering that? Cussing them out behind that mask of detachment, deeming their worries to be inconsistent, unnecessary and wasted on him when too far the situation had gone, far too multi-faceted had it become? Was that a look that betrayed disbelief and skepticism? Was there to be more of these questions, more of that unspoken – and far too many things left hidden?

Shikamaru looked down at his feet.

"There was this one time, Naruto, when I saw you really bloodied. Remember? A mission. Ages ago. Well, not ages ago. But it sure does feel that way. It wasn't anyone's fault, remember? But I still felt like an ass because I'd known all along the group we were facing to be carrying explosives and just didn't tell you. What kind of a leader does that, anyway? Of course it was expected of you to know, of course no-one wanted to take blame, of course I still felt like shit… You know. I. Um. I remember… When they exploded. You were thrown back what felt like miles-I remember. At that moment. I felt fear, you know, fear was the thought to first and foremost cross my mind-then I heard his cry."

Pitifully, he croaked.

"Never in my life had I heard a scream more anguished than Sasuke's at that scary moment when your body flew across the very blue sky above our heads, when the blood from your wounds just seem to trail behind you like a puppy and the sun shining down on us may have just made you the perfect victim of art. And I remember that I also, at that moment when all happened, I remember-"

Truth.

Truth, Shikamaru knew, was a vapid viper. It attacked and bit, it relented not one bit-and it hurt like a fucking bitch. Like the blood of millions rampant in his veins, the millions of those occasions he'd ignored merely for the sake of preserving own supposed dignity, for being coddled by some self-presumptuous belief he'd conjured up out of nowhere and ever-so-conveniently hid from the eyes of all surrounding beholders to see, prompting a few disgruntled sighs- a few claims of its non-existence. A few laughs. A few more sweet nothings before the matter was dismissed. Because truth.

It really was the castle in the sky.

And reaching out meant being thronged by life.

But this life… Could be nice. With honesty. With precious honesty, and loathe though he might have felt to have its bitter taste on his tongue, he felt exhilarated at once for on his figure he felt rest the other's inquiring eyes-and it felt, in a sense, like the slice of victory already offered.

Now to only get the silver plate.

"I remember. I looked away."

Fates sealed, truth slowly revealed.

A painful jab in his head. At that moment he couldn't have felt more ashamed.

"I really… couldn't look, you know? It was a few years back that tiny thing and it was just-nothing, okay-I was concerned, but I couldn't watch. When Sasuke rushed by your side and held you in his hands-for a while I peeked over and… What I felt I don't remember. What I did-I do and it makes me sick, because I wish I didn't, I wish I hadn't feigned ignorance and pretended I wasn't seeing it. I wish I'd done more than that nothing, because just being by your side never sufficed, because I'd never truly existed by your side-because I'd lied. I. Lied. Naruto. I'd lied the whole time. I'd had-"-briefly to pause, to ball his hands into fists and feel the nails dig into the supple flesh, to feel the pain and deem it deserving and well-suited for scum like he,-"never looked, never really been by your side. The whole time I'd only pretended while turning a blind eye, while ignoring the reality because it had not appeased that part of me. That part that-didn't ever want to see and acknowledge that out there, that right in front of me in fact a story this terrifying and tragic was unfolding…"

Oh god. Oh god. All those times-haha, always known well- a while and just a while-he couldn't stop. Suddenly, Shikamaru couldn't stop the darn things from flashing before his eyes, each and every scene was surveyed inan obscene, self-gratifying, morbid fascination before another followed, more gruesome than its sister and-it wasn't stopping.

It kept. Going. Like a curse.

Like the hot water trailing down his cheeks.

"I am… So. So… So… Goddamn. Sorry, Naruto. I am… So. Sorry. Please. Please…"

Never mind, never mind. It was alright, because a something nasty and smelly had been taken off his chest-and he could keep going at this rate for all eternity, knowing the relief would be directly injected in his veins, knowing the relief would be altogether there.

His knees hit the ground. A loud impact echoed around.

"I am so goddamn sorry, Naruto. Please, please forgive me. I-failed you. I know I did. Because I just-I was so stupid. So, freaking stupid and-just scared. I didn't want to want see, refused to see because being confronted with a thing beyond my understanding was scaring me, because a bond that close was making me aware of how little I had-because. I was-I was. Shit. And…And."

And.

So.

Much.

Just so much MORE.

A sob wrought through him. Next moment, his forehead touched the ground, pressed flat against it.

"Please, Naruto, please let us try again, let me try again. Give me another chance. I want to help. This time for sure. This time I want to do anything in my power to help you, to save you, to do just about anything in my power, to go beyond that, to-to-go… To."

What. Else. Was there?

Oh, that, right there.

"To be by your side."

Wait. And wait, wait-

A sob.

Not his own.

Shikamaru flinched and looked up, hesitance in his step because – what if- what if his eyes landed on would be mockery engraved deeply into Naruto' eyes and petulance glowering down at him, filthily claiming he'd gone too far this time and deserved to only speak to him from that seated, begging position on the ground – but-

Instead he got the quenching of his thirst, the constricting of his heart, the blood pumped ferociously to each and every cell, the speed of it hitting the parts without a sign for remorse anywhere in sight-the.

Well.

There were many other "the"s, but most importantly, there was.

Just one important the.

The look of someone on the verge of breaking down stroking like a blueprint Naruto's solemn eyes, because when reddened puffy and glistered, they appeared as voracious in regards to life as they had so many years ago.

"Will you…" Quivery, Naruto's voice stabbed through the gathered pit of silence around them, transcending all the aftereffects of the rant into real life. "… Will you… really help? Really, really help?"

"… Yes."

"… How-I. How will that…"

"We must understand, Naruto, because we never did. We forced down our own beliefs on you and… Many other things. And we must understand first to be able to help. To save you and Sasuke."

A tremor went through Naruto's eyes. Surprising thing was – Shikamaru saw it.

"Even Sasuke?"

"Even Sasuke."

"Really?"

"There is no Naruto without Sasuke, no Sasuke without Naruto."

Hearing that, Naruto sharply looked up.

Shikamaru pressed his forehead briefly against the floor again, before slowly gathering himself up and onto his feet. "The thing which I saw and never wanted to see had the greatest of an impact on me. That's what it is."

Naruto stared. "Ah… Maybe."

Silence. Unforgiveable.

"Maybe,"-continued Naruto, voice hovering between bold and frightened, the man himself possibly torn and incapable of figuring out yet what to do, but in his blue hues thoughts were swirling madly enough that Shikamaru knew he'd at least elicited a reaction and drawn out the man. If nothing, he'd at least gotten to see Naruto – not that delicate-looking doll. "Maybe yeah, maybe no… I don't really think there is a chance but… Huh. I guess I want to believe you. For my own selfish reasons, but I want to believe you, Shikamaru. So. I will believe you. I do believe you. I believe you, Shikamaru."

There was no time in basking in this success and Naruto probably knew that too, but still a curt wordless conversation followed that last statement, with both males looking deeply into each other's eyes and Shikamaru hoping he wasn't the only one experiencing that beckoning warmth spreading all across his chest.

Then Naruto broke away, graciously stepped over to the couch, sat down and stared blankly ahead.

"Where do I start?"

Shikamaru moved by his side, tremulous, trembling-oh god. He put a hand over his chest, hesitation-then boldly stepped onwards, hands balled into fists, eyes ablaze – yet puffy, reddened and he blinked all away, pushing the obligatory physicality aside for useless, stupid it was, for-he had not the time to deal with trivialities. Not. This. TIME.

He sat down opposite of him, wishing solace and privacy on his Hokage, yet, maybe-naive, that idea?

Naruto swallowed hard, Shikamaru saw, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as if going over an obstacle, a large rock stuck in this throat and he saw a droplet of sweat cascade in a shimmering rivulet down the tanned neck – the tanned to have become only the residual of the former, the thinned milk, the fainted copy.

Truth.

"Where… do I start. How…"

"Beginning. The change. When you first saw it. And the progress. Until now. You tell only me if you trust me-I will relay to the others. For once, we will have made the right thing. But you must share everything."

"Well…"

"Everything. Every. Little. Detail." Insist.

Tentative. "But…"

"Everything. Nothing to be left out."

"That's going to take a while…A while. A long while. I can't even think of everything at the top of my head."

"Slowly we proceed. One story at a time, one step at a time, but we do. Don't we? This time…"

Naruto lifted his head, lips quivering and encompassed in his eyes – an agonized plea. "Everything." Echo.

Nod. And-"Everything."

A shuddering breath taken-did it clatter against the ribcage, did he feel pained, was he doomed to experience that sensation all over again, or did the cheek of the thing, the dastardly freak actually resemble nothing in comparison to the loss he'd suffered a mere week ago? Did it compute in his mind at all? Did he know-this would require every little piece of him left in that shelf, or did he… Did Naruto only wish to humor him?

In our last dying moments of glory and pride, you are still to be my sweet conundrum.

Naruto's lips parted. "Then… Let me start by the first time… That we looked at each other – and our eyes lacked loathing. That time, that mission… Years ago… "

A jarring thought, a sharp stab in the heart-Shikamaru listened.

Still my cherished and charred lullaby.

My sweet little.

"That, I believe, started things. That, I believe… Initiated the change."

My beloved and delectable – leader.

Naruto's eyes, glassy, glistered. "And what led to this."

Shikamaru unwittingly choked on air-nodded gasping for more, but all thoughts shunned out, all ceased by mercy, because he had not the time-for frivolous thoughts, fickle actions, for the immaculate and troubling breathing of his heart, beating of his lungs. Not the other way around.

Never. The other way around. Not when Naruto was involved.

Wish I could get you.

Can I get you back?

Can I?

"It was. The nastiest, most horrible day, when the downpour had us all soaked to the bone, that day when I… Just had to be stupid…"

I can and I'll try.

"And almost got myself killed."

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

"YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"JUST SHUT UP!"

F-this… SHIT. His fingers curled around the kunai and snapped it out at once, the shitty little snotty STUPID object discarded onto the ground below as Naruto immediately jumped aside-and avoided a batch of kunai thrown at him. Hard they dug into the ground, one missing his foot by an inch and he cursed under his breath, the other foot slipping, the body tipping backwards, losing its footing and greeting the ground-

Naruto skidded across the muddy ground and stopped a mere breath later, clutching his arm. Blood seeped through the fingers, through the clothing, dripping down and he shook the water from his eyes, head shaken side to side, hair slashing about as the rained poured down on them.

"Idiot…"

Disembodied voice? Hardly. Naruto didn't even need to look to know Sasuke was glaring, but screw him now. Screw him and his bloodied face because he'd gotten some blood on his face because that face DESERVED IT!

Fine.

Fine… Breathe. In. Out. Calm. Down.

Calm… d-d-down… Down.

He fell. Down on one knee. Cursed.

"Naruto!"

Shikamaru rushing to him, no matter. Vision blurring already-

-stupid thing. They should have taken a medic nin, should have a few more times but the pissy twats kept insisting they were a capable three-men team and had to make use of their own capabilities rather than rely on someone else. Really? REALLY? Really. In his years Naruto had said some pretty dumb things, but never made a claim that downright filthy absurd – enough he'd remained rooted on that spot because-really. No medic-nins. They were only essential to every ninja. But no, that was alright, let the Kyuubi brat handle the Uchiha brat. Let them handle each other and hopefully fall during battle. No wonder he'd have sustained this injury, no wonder he'd have kept relentlessly going with a nin to heal his injuries for him and it didn't matter he had the Kyuubi. Because the Kyuubi wasn't a god.

Just some dumb fox.

Just some-coherence stolen.

Losing. Rational thought.

"Sh… s-shit…"

Water and mud splashed into his face, further dirtying the clothing as Shikamaru stopped abruptly in front of him and deflected the rain of kunai directed at him, subsequently making hand-seals-before his shadows erupted from the ground, beckoning startled gasps of horror from the assailants-and they only put more distance between them.

From the corner of his eyes, Naruto saw Sasuke glaring at them and he understood the other was itching to fight them back-knew he could have killed them in a matter of seconds, but it was only unfortunate they were meant to be captured instead.

Really, just another thing to add to the cart of bullshit.

"Naruto, where are you hurt?" whispered Shikamaru, eyes still on the enemy, narrowed and focused.

Naruto winced. "Arm. Nothing big. Think it was poisoned, though."

"Symptoms?"

"Lost balance, weak, vision blurred… Really sick."

"Ugh, typical. The antidote is in our hotel room. Left it there by an accident when they attacked us. Great. Sasuke."

The sole Uchiha survivor shot them a cold look before running over, taking the other unprotected side next to Naruto-and making Naruto feel ultimately broken.

Protectors, he had them, dignity – he used to have. Che.

"Naruto got poisoned and from how he looks we haven't much time left before the poison sends him into cardiac arrest. We can't rely on Kyuubi now, we need to finish this now," explained Shikamaru swiftly, the shadows returning back to him and leaving the man slumped over from fatigue that had not been released in the past week.

Sasuke shot Naruto an infuriated glare, nose scrunched up and face, for a change, scorched with the perturbed and uncharacteristic expressiveness, eyes spelling directly – all that repulsion. All only for Naruto and no-one else.

Was this weakness?

Naruto's eyes narrowed back.

Don't look at me that way. DON'T look at me that way.

Nothing. Sasuke remained silent. Maybe exasperated, he was. Or he'd run out of insults to spew at him or maybe – just unwilling to share his wisdom with anyone while completely soaked to the bone in an environment unfriendly to his chakra ambivalence, because this weather knew no mercy, pouring all of its anger down upon then enough that Naruto felt his body sink into the muddy ground.

He groaned.

Shikamaru looked at him at once-grimaced. "Damn… Ahhh, troublesome fools, this wasn't meant to have happened," he commented almost regretfully as he looked back at mob of twenty or more watching them from a safe distance, probably waiting for the best opportunity to strike – one, Naruto knew, they'd not get, not when this genius was on their side. "They should have told us these missing nin were missing their brains. Ah, to have attacked us shortly after we'd arrived." An irritable sigh escaped him and Naruto wanted to sympathize; don't sleep properly for a week, reach your destination, be attacked right as you crash into the bed.

Figures, he thought with a grim grin, some of that good old amusement flickering in his eyes-

Sasuke was staring at him.

He felt the eyes. Felt the strength of his glare. Felt the power of it, the power behind, the detestable shade of red fixated solely upon him, yet as Naruto wished to glare back, he realized-he did not understand the shade of the emotion in the man's glare.

Confused, he blinked and stood on his wobbly feet, ignoring Sasuke for the time being.

"Shikamaru, what do we do?"

The grunt to echo around was self-explanatory. "That's obvious, isn't it? It can't be helped but we must get rid of them. Our intel was wrong; the reports that came in claimed there was only one group of five low-ranked missing nin building a hideout around a local village, but it didn't peg them armed and ready for a fight like these guys are. With their numbers we can't risk them getting away and capturing everyone as we were originally meant to would be nonsense. We lack the resources for that… Ugh." Against the impeccable drumming of the rain, Shikamaru's voice may have sounded even poetic. And sad. "There will be no survivors, I'm afraid." Slightly, Shikamaru turned to Sasuke. "And we can't waste our time. This mission was a complete failure and there was either a rat or just someone didn't do their job properly, but it doesn't mean we'll let one of our teammates die… Sasuke. Make it quick."

Before the answer arrived a sound of protest was heard as Naruto let out a mellowed hiss of pain and squinted both eyes at Shikamaru. "Oi, oi, what's that all about? You're not going to just leave me here while you two have all the fun, eh?"

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "No. Sasuke is getting all the fun, Naruto, I'm taking you back before the poison spreads even further."

"What? No, that's-"

"The last thing you'll ever get to say before your own stupidity claims you, fool, unless you for once act your age and listen to orders."

Sasuke had discarded all worry and spite, strutting forward, katana already naked in his arms as he removed the cloak covering his body – allowed the full force of the rain like rocks hit his tall and imposing figure but despite the apparent focus behind each step taken, the face was turned sidewards over the shoulder-to land directly on Naruto's. Specifically – on his eyes.

And Naruto was acutely aware of the strange feeling constricting his heart.

A second later that famed gripping power of Sasuke's Sharingan spread across his eyes, the redness invading somehow even the surrounding world, until the rain turned bloodied and they skies above their heads – just disappeared.

Sasuke's lips parted, light breeze passing by them as the drops hit the succulent flesh hard enough to bruise and continued in their frenzy further down. "After all, if you only hadn't rushed out without waiting like an idiot, you wouldn't have put yourself and everyone else in jeopardy. Once more, Naruto…" The katana gleamed, beautiful. Exactly as beautiful, yet only a little, as its master. Sasuke stepped onwards, nearing the enemy as Shikamaru put an arm securely around Naruto's mid-waist, as Sasuke's chakra flashed to life. "You fail."

The shroud of rain covered his back.

A sigh of displeasure slipped past Shikamaru's lips. "We are not a one-man team. But as it appears, we are not a team at all. Almost five months later, we are still…" Exasperated, angered, tired, annoyed? Disappointed. "Nothing."

Naruto tried to see if he could watch it, yet what he saw was only the mist arrive and the rain thicker than any before. He would have hoped for more yet a sudden lurch of his stomach stopped him and instead he sealed his mouth shut for the time being, thinking it wasn't knowing he'd screwed up, it wasn't that Sasuke had been right once more, not that Naruto had had his dreams crushed, not that he'd only seen the proof of the other's hatred once more and gotten his daily dosage, not that he felt troubled at all – it was only the poison running through his veins that was making him feel this way. No less, no more than that. Not even when the hotel came to their view and he slumped onto the ground, panting, breathing hard, oxygen no longer in his blood, all life fleeing his sky-colored eyes, all sweetness of his character lost on the harshness of death – not even then was he to change his mind.

Or not when Shikamaru released him and ran inside, knowing to drag the dead weight would slow him down and still – where had they left the vials, where had they disappeared off to while under the pretense of a battle?

Not even when – Naruto's vision blurred, a bitter taste on his tongue, and someone picked his muddied form from the ground and carried it back inside, because he could swear that was the stench of blood putridly filtering in the air and there was the warmth he'd felt before and that was-that comfort he didn't know he'd missed, didn't know a thing as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

So.

Sweetly. Asleep.

But asleep spoke of short-lived pleasures, asleep and eternal didn't know each other, and if this was meant to be sleep then – when was he to awake?

Sleep… Man, when was to last time I actually slept… Slept alone and well, without anyone's presence, without any watchful eyes to keep me up and about and like there's a bunch of snakes slithering under my skin… When was the last time I didn't fear you?

When?

Ha.

When, Sasuke, when. Tell me… When?

He opened his eyes.

He was back.

He was.

For the better or worse, alive.

The ceiling greeted him, then the plain hard flooring he was laid on and the slight warmth the blanket offered and Naruto narrowed his eyes and feeling it all right looked to his right.

If he'd had any more time, he'd have used it to reason why anger, an action nefarious, was desired, but he either had it not or lacked the drive, for instead Naruto settled at the reality – being that at that moment, he didn't muster up the leftover tidbits of anger to direct them at the man seated in the far corner of the room by the window, with but a thin wall separating him and the ever-increasing downpour outside. At that moment he did not care for any obvious signs of irritation to seamlessly enter his eyes as in to shoot back as much bile as possible, and did not care to remember why he should have tried.

For once, he didn't want to abide.

Even if Sasuke's eyes did not stop.

Huh, Sasuke, are you glaring at me? Do you hate me? Still? Will you ever stop? Heh… A pity.

"Stop it," he ordered and yet not.

Sasuke remained motionless. "Stop what?"

"Glaring."

"What else would you deserve when you almost got yourself killed?"

Naruto pursed his lips into a thin line. "I'd almost think you were worried. But only almost."

Outside the rain continued on its journey, traversing across the skies to land brutally on the ground, no mercy in its touch as it sew a caress of distrust among the plants and all living beings underground and the darkness still couldn't have looked better on him; figure shrouded beneath its secure touch, the outlines merged with the impenetrable darkness and the dimmed light of the room tinkering with shadows – Sasuke looked born out of it, the ability to frighten everyone to their care inherent. And perfect.

Yet Naruto didn't frighten.

Sasuke's face moved slightly sidewards as if to look him in the eye from a different point of view. "Only almost," he echoed, bringing an upside-down smile onto Naruto's face. "But that doesn't change you almost died."

A scoff. "I know that already. Where's Shikamaru?"

"Sending a report."

"Already?"

"It's been a few days."

"Eh?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly, a tint of mockery in them as he glowered down at Naruto – who had yet to move. In fact, both did – and the distance between them, the position of their bodies – the stark contrast did not exist and Naruto had to admit-

-strangely enough, he felt almost soothed and he realized – this would be the first time in months they'd spoken on equal terms, no insult to injury on a tip of the tongue, nothing to disturb this still life.

Such an oddity. "How long have I been out?"

"A few days lying in that very position," slurred Sasuke, eyes darkening. "Trashing about, muttering from your sleep… It was a highly effective and proficient poison and though not outright lethal, if not tended to soon, it could knock you out for up to a few weeks before death arrived, but which point you'd welcome it with yours arms wide open as if to embrace the impending death."

"Heeh…" Naruto blinked. "So poetic, aren't you?"

Nothing to filter in the air as Sasuke gritted his teeth, a small vein bulging on the side of his face and the jaw visibly clenched, before he finally shifted. "You are an idiot, Naruto. It's because of you this mission failed. Had you not run off like that-"

No insult to injury, eh?

"Don't go blaming this on me."

I'm not disappointed, I'm not, I just hoped for a moment when we'd stay like that.

Sasuke barked out a laugh and shook his head. "You truly are a fool. Impressive strength you possess yet rather than make any use of it at all you rush into battle mindlessly. Years of implementing intricate knowledge of martial arts, tactics and battle and you can mock the generations to have spent training under the pretenses of no tomorrow within a second by disregarding all which you had been taught. You are a disgrace to all ninja, Naruto."

Naruto stared. No wiser man would have concluded easily he'd just been insulted, yet instead of feeling offended, Naruto could only stare silently back, meeting Sasuke's intent stare mid-way and neither spoke a word during that moment when both minds reeled in overturn and when Naruto's kept sifting through the dozens of opportunities laid out before him.

He knew, again, he'd been insulted, but this time he'd felt no anger drip from the other's words, nothing whatsoever to suggest disgust was soon to filter in the air on a popular demand, but that was strange for Sasuke was meant to angry for – Naruto didn't want to admit it, but he knew he'd screwed up. Big time. So. Why?

Mind muddled, he moved slowly to a seated position and each muscle screamed in protest, bringing a slight grimace to his features. Once properly seated, once dimly aware of the blanket to have rolled off and pooled around his mid-waist, revealing the naked upper body, once the cool touch of his necklace was finally brought to attention, Naruto leveled Sasuke a hard look, all confusion finally removed with certainty.

"You were worried. Beats me why but you were."

"I carried you."

"What?"

Sasuke stood up. "I carried you into the hotel."

"Shikamaru-"

"-couldn't have done it. We were running out of time and he ran to search the room for the antidote. I took care of the missing nin, returned and found you on the porch almost dead."

Naruto opened his mouth to speak-but what was he to say? Right then the deceitful mind of his decided to conveniently whip out a memory from those few days ago and he recalled – vividly, suddenly – the feel of the other's body against him and the hands to have supported and held him up. But that didn't mean a thing, did it? No, it didn't, because Sasuke would rub this very fact in his face and expect what? Gratitude? It wasn't given, certainly not gratuitously, not when…

He gritted his teeth.

Why does this piss me off so much now?

A sound growl of displeasure was heard next as Naruto felt anger overflow him. "Well, awesome. Thank you for that, mister Uchiha, I solemnly swear it's never going to happen again-"

"Is it?"

"-ugh, yeah, I told you-"

"Did you really?"

"-and-damn it, Sasuke, stop interrupting me!" he bristled, shooting the other an indignant look but Sasuke would have none of that and suddenly having the other's tall figure loom above his had never felt this preaching and intimate.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Naruto, for interrupting you. I would never dare do that. Granted, speaking to a child only calls even for such puerile actions to be taken, so you must forgive me, Naruto, for I am to proceed as following."

To think he'd almost discarded the confusion… In full force it was all back and Naruto, blinkered by it, stared wolfishly. "What?"

Sasuke, unperturbed, continued. "Even if you'd screwed up by running after the enemy, you still could have taken care of them easily and without a sweat if you only possessed the focus, yet as it appears you can muster up enough of that only when faced with a strong enemy. That makes you weak, Naruto, for you can't ever utilize your powers properly and subconsciously underestimate everyone obviously not up to your par. They weren't strong, yet their focus granted them victory at first; had you, Naruto, fought properly, had you not acted the jolly champ you pretend to be, you'd have taken care of them all with ease, instead you failed completely and ended with a life-threatening injury. Your endeavor is repulsive."

A wince. Naruto tried to move to a standing position, the action translated to pulsating anger-but he felt a hand on his shoulder push him down and the next second Sasuke was sitting next to him, their faces too close, his own, scrunched up in seething grimace, exposed to Sasuke's cool reflection.

And the hand still hadn't left his shoulder. He felt it squeeze and, speechless, furrowed his brows, eyes disdainfully landing on the long pale fingers that felt surprisingly warm and surprisingly still there and subsequently his eyes travelled back to Sasuke's in a silent warning.

Sasuke, however, lacked the care at that moment.

Naruto lowered his head. "Ah, I see, is that you proposing something or are you just trying to make me feel like shit?"

"All insults bounce off you which renders the latter importunate."

"Eh?"

"If you continue being this reckless, you'll only further endanger your life. That, Naruto…" The hand slid down. "I don't care about. My only concern is that in the unforeseeable future any similar step taken could possibly put me at risk too and I refuse to die for a fool such as you. Knowing how life works, also, you would be the one to escape unscathed whereas I would suffer. That I will not permit to happen."

"Heh… Should have thought it would be something like that. What are you saying?"

Sasuke leaned forward and their noses touched. "We will train together."

"Train." The corners of Naruto's lips twitched upwards into a smirk. "Heh, I've been itching for a good fight since ever."

"Good. It's a deal."

"Starting when we get back."

"Yes. The sooner the better."

Heavy steps echoed from the corridor. Sasuke airily glanced at the direction of the door, recognition flickering in his eyes, before he pulled away, distance assuredly placed back between them and acting the gateway to all stuck in-between. Naruto's hands balled into fists and with a few seconds left before the intruder trespassed on their alternative universe, just as Sasuke stood to his feet with his back flauntingly turned, he spoke.

"Sasuke, don't think I'll let you patronize me. You might have carried me a few days back, but I swear to you that won't ever repeat itself again."

"You." Slowly uttered, a speck of taunt. "Don't like being carried by people, Naruto?"

"Heh… People? Nah, it's not about that. I just don't like the thought of you touching me in any other way unless we're beating the crap out of each other."

Was that surprise in Sasuke's eyes as he looked over his shoulder and at him? Who knew but Naruto easily dubbed it as bewilderment, the touch of the incoming reality resulting in a wider, contented grin to blossom on his face. Daintily he poked a finger in his cheek, the grin further spreading.

"Here, Sasuke. Don't forget to hit me here when we fight next." The finger slipped down and the hand pressed flat against his heart – right above the scar. "Because you'll never get here." Thump.

No, bastard, you're not getting here.

Sasuke didn't say a word and time knew no mercy, the entrance of Shikamaru disrupting the heavy air between them, dispelling all vice unabridged as his dark eyes landed in turns on Sasuke and Naruto, before the lips parted, a sigh of relief emitted from them. Sasuke's expression became devoid of emotions and he strutted from the room, the door slammed behind and prompting a ludicrous look from Shikamaru.

"What's gotten into him? Ah, never mind that. What a troublesome guy," he sighed, shrugging. "I don't really want to know. Anyway, I see you guys didn't kill each other while I was gone. How're you feeling?"

Naruto huffed and lay back on the ground. "Kinda okay, I guess… I guess."

"Hm? What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

Unwittingly Shikamaru occupied the seat Sasuke had before and Naruto's brows wrinkled at that, a sudden desire to shun him away erupting in his chest, because that seat was special and Sasuke's, but that was absurd.

Shikamaru cocked his head to the side. "I don't know? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were… glowing?"

"Glowing?" He snickered. "Nah… I'm not glowing."

"Positively glowing, too."

"Yeah, well… Sasuke and I are-"

"Oh, god, I already feel the headache."

Naruto pointedly ignored that, making a conceited face-"-gonna start training together."

As expected, Shikamaru made a disgruntled groan. "Oh, god, indeed. That isn't going to go well, you know?"

"Why?"

"Why? Jeez, Naruto, you and Sasuke are sort of like powerhouses, only whereas all of that power's usually under tight control, the moment you're to face each other, all of it is unleashed. Aahh… I just can't imagine-no, I don't want to imagine it. No."

"Meh. I think it's going to go well."

Shikamaru looked horrified. "Why?"

Naruto, this time, believed he did glow. "It's as you put it, no? When we fight, whenever we do fight, we unleash everything at each other… Huh, it's kind of dumb and sucky and just plain sad, if you think about it, but Sasuke and I can't talk, not using words… What we do best is fight. That can't ever go wrong." Ruefully, he grinned and felt rather than saw Shikamaru's exasperation.

"Ah… Naruto, you sound like a kid. Listen, it doesn't mean anything, it changes nothing, you know?"

If possible, Naruto's grin grew greater and he didn't deny – he felt warmth spread over his heart, even if the ever-blue eyes of his reflected the unease he felt, the fact he did not approve – committing to portraying with exaction the grieving contemplation in the hues. "In the past months since Sasuke's release, we've not spoken. Did you know that? Yeah. We don't talk. We don't even say good morning to each other. Imagine that? We live in the same place but pretend the other doesn't exist. Unless you count me telling Sasuke not to go too far and stuff like that and him snapping back something nasty. So. Only on missions do we talk but that's usually only to throw insults and… You see where I'm getting at? It's like… You think it's nothing. I agree. It's nothing. It's only just the biggest effing thing in five months. It is important, it's big. It's probably the best thing I'll ever get from him. It is, as Sasuke would put it, of great significance. Heh…"

Shikamaru's brows creased with worry, yet nonetheless he seemed to altogether give up. "Heh? Maybe…"

Naruto whooped a bit. "I can't wait. I'm itching for a good fight. Yeah, it's sad that we'll still hate each other, because this don't mean a damn thing, ya know? But, like." He craned his head to the side and put his hands under the head, the blanket kicked off and mirth in his tanned, flushed, beaming face. Positively glowing, Shikamaru had said? "This is only as good as it'll ever get between us. I'm not getting my hopes up, I don't want a thing, I won't get a thing, anyway."

Shikamaru shifted, paying, apparently, close attention.

Reveling in it for a bit, Naruto sighed happily and looked up at the ceiling.

"This is as good as it'll ever get. Between Sasuke and I."

As good, he thought, as it was always meant to get.

This little and small, truly actually insignificant, change.

Meant to never – arouse into anything else.

Never.

And ever.

)) ~it_has_come_to_this_too far_soul_to_be_sole~((

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but the story idea is mine alone.

A/N: What to say? I'm sort of too late to manage one measly little sorry and be done with it, but the truth is- I do feel sorry ^^; I got into other things, got an author's block, had other things to do and all things combined – I suddenly did not want have desire, the will, the strength to continue writing… this chapter. Haha. I said on many occasions to many reviewers that I intended to finish this story no matter what and that still stands, so whereas it took me a while to finish this chapter, I never stopped thinking about it. Never. Every day this story crossed my mind. Every day. And not just once. So : ) Hopefully, I'll manage to somehow reorganize my schedule as in to fit everything there and manage to update on a more regular basis. On that note – one week might not be an option. Maybe two weeks? Oh, god, well. I'd love to keep it under two weeks because the time separation does not make the heart grow fonder in this case, but rather you get more time to detach from the story and I-don't want that.

So, I'm going to try to be good again 8| Definitely! And here I present to you the latest chapter… So. Wutcha think? Like, dislike?

On a completely (un)related note… Oh, dear, how could I ever omit this? Dearest reviewers. I got so many fantastic reviews. Just-wow. Just. Seriously? Amazing. Of course I had to get everything joggled up afterwards so I might have replied to some reviews twice – to some not at all, which is that awkward moment when you realize the author is so freaking out of it they don't even know what they're doing and yet you're having some expectations of them xD Oh, gosh, I fail so hard. But I loved those reviews lots :\ Gosh, it makes me so genuinely happy to get any at all and to have readers so-I could never leave this story. Could never just abandon it and you. Which means! DO STAY TUNED FOR MORE! More IS to come. And do keep reading, reviewing, everything 3 Because I love them all. And thank you!

As for this chapter… What to say? Naruto's started his glorious explanation. Finally, after all these chapters, you're getting the truth, bit by bit, from the only person in Konoha – who knows it.

Also, we'll be getting two kinds of flashbacks from now on and every Naruto's flashback which will relate to the explanation will follow directly right after a conversation with him mentioning and subsequently adding it was the prime time for another story; meaning, Naruto will bring it up, launch into an explanation and a flashback will immediately follow – a flashback NOT written in italics. Which also means there will be flashbacks WRITTEN in italics, which will be smaller… The reason why Naruto's big time explanation flashbacks won't ever be written in italics is because they're different; long, drawn out and essential to the story, I can't having the aftereffects distract you, so that's why. They also mean too much. Now.

Do you like, do you hate? What do you think? ; )

In next chapter, things seem to have relatively calmed down and folks feel a mixture of joy and horror knowing Naruto is to share his heart-breaking love story with them. Of course, Naruto feels no such thing. And there is someone who feels more than anyone'd thought them capable of. Oh, dearest Kyuubi, when did you ever grow the heart to feel concern?

Rating: PG-13 for themes, blood, swearwords, and sexual undertones.

Thanks for reading. Remember to R&R! x)

If you have any questions, add them in a review or message me personally :)