A/N: Sorry for such a loooooooooong time with no updates =E I've promised myself to try and finish up this story so I can write the continuation ^_^ Thanks for your sweet comments, as always!

Bystander

Solona wandered about aimlessly around the Tower, trying to keep her mind off of Neria's harrowing. She noticed that the hallways were unusually vacant as she heard her footsteps echo hauntingly through the corridors. Ah, she realized miserably. It was the time of day when apprentice mages would be paired together with their mentors…and sadly, she was without one.

She yearned for Anders and his company. He always knew the right thing to say to put her mind at ease. That solace was now gone due to Cullen's arrangement.

Solona cringed and began to bite down on her thumbnail. Cullen is watching over Neria during her trial. He swore that he would allow her to finish her harrowing. Neria will be successful as long as she's given her fair chance. Cullen wouldn't break his vow. She thought desperately, trying to convince herself.

"Chewing on your fingernails is a bad habit, young lady."

Before she could lift her head at the stern voice, she found herself walking into something solid and fell back to the ground, landing on her bottom.

"Ow...I don't remember a pillar being here…" She rubbed at her nose. She lifted her head to find a heavily armored soldier standing before her, smiling at her with an amused expression. Embarrassed that she haphazardly bumped into a random gentleman, Solona swiftly got to her feet to apologize. "I'm so sorry, Ser! I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you all right?"

The stranger chuckled. "I should be the one to apologize. You are not the one wearing the armor."

Solona gave the man a sheepish smile. "It is still no excuse that I was not paying attention to my surroundings."

"No harm done." The man stroked his thick dark beard. "Actually, I was searching for somebody to assist me. I was directed to go this course to find the First Enchanter's chamber but I'm afraid I lost my way. Would you be able to point me towards the right direction?"

"Oh, you are a guest of First Enchanter Irving's?" Solona asked. The man had long dark hair with a gold earring through his ear lobe, not unlike Anders'. His armor was surely not one of the templar's cladding and he also had a well-used long sword sheathed at his side. She surely would have remembered him if she saw him before but she couldn't help to wonder why the man looked so familiar.

"I am, indeed…though this is somewhat of an unannounced visit. I hope I did not catch him at an inconvenient time."

"He is currently…busy at the moment." Solona felt her throat go dry at her words. "But I can escort you to his chamber so you may await his return."

"That would be most kind, young lady." The man inclined his head in appreciation.

Solona beamed at the stranger. It was unusual to find such a polite soldier. She was not accustomed to being treated so nicely by those in armor. "Just follow me, Ser."

"Just call me Duncan. Calling me 'Ser' makes me feel old beyond my years." Duncan chuckled again, following her down the corridor.

"Then please call me Solona."

"As you wish, Solona." Duncan gave her a quick glance. "By any chance…would your full name happen to be Solona Amell?"

Solona looked at Duncan with confusion. "Er, yes it is. How is it that you know my name, Duncan?"

"The First Enchanter speaks of you often."

"Of me?" Solona echoed anxiously. "Have I displeased him in some way?"

Duncan gave her an assuring grin. "He speaks nothing but flattery. Irving talks about you as if he were speaking about a beloved granddaughter."

Solona shook her head in disbelief. "I'm sure you may have me confused for somebody else. I am not so special to the First Enchanter that he would regard me differently from everyone else in this Tower."

"If that is what you believe, then so be it, Solona."

"Do you see the First Enchanter often, Duncan?" Solona asked.

"Not often, but I try to visit when I can. Unfortunately, most of the time my visits are related to business rather than friendship, I'm afraid." Duncan sighed.

"Oh? What sort of business do you attend to? Do you work with the Chantry? The lyrium trade?"

Duncan let out a quiet laugh. "I wish it were as uncomplicated as that. I am a Grey Warden. The First Enchanter assists me in finding candidates from the Circle of Magi for our battles against the darkspawn."

Solona's eyes widened. "It's no wonder you seemed so familiar. You are wearing the armor of a Grey Warden! I have read countless stories in the library about them! But I believed you were all but legends now."

"The darkspawn threat is still very much a reality, Solona." Duncan's humor dissipated, reminded of current mission. "And we Grey Wardens of Ferelden are now preparing for an upcoming blight."

Solona led Duncan to the First Enchanter's chamber and paused. "Is that the reason why you are here? To recruit mages into the Grey Warden ranks to fight against the darkspawn?"

"I'm afraid it is, Solona." Duncan replied.

Solona nodded in consideration. She knew very well that she was not talented enough to be recruited into the Warden ranks. According to the books she's read, the Grey Wardens always searched for warriors both brave of mind and of heart. However, she could not help to dread that it may be Neria or Anders that would be conscripted for the never-ending battle against the darkspawn.

"Do you know who you will be recruiting with this visit?" She asked timidly, her green eyes focused on Duncan's weathered face.

Duncan placed a firm hand on Solona's shoulder. "I do not know, Solona. Even if I did, I will not be able to tell you. I can see you have people you care about…but if they are chosen to fight amongst the Wardens, you cannot prevent the Maker's will."

Solona bit down on her lip. Again, all she could do was stand aside and be helpless to protect the ones she loved. She gestured to the big wooden door that led to Irving's chamber. "The First Enchanter is overseeing a harrowing but he will be back later tonight." She whispered, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

"Then I will wait for him here until he returns. Thank you for your assistance, Solona." Duncan placed his hand on his chest and bowed his head in gratitude.

Solona inclined her head in return and turned to walk away. Perhaps she would make her way back to her own chamber; there was no point in wandering around the Tower in her dazed state.

"Solona." Duncan called to her retreating back. "If I may ask…are you a full-fledged Enchanter?"

She turned around and shook her head. "I am just an apprentice."

Duncan nodded to himself and lifted his hand in thanks. "I thought so. I look forward to seeing you again."

Am I still alive?

Neria felt as if she had been absorbed by the darkness and her existence was lost in an unknown oblivion. Everything was gray. Everything was numb.

Her consciousness slowly dripped back into her senses. That's right…I was in the fade for my harrowing.

Despite of years of practice and weeks of special coaching from her mentor, nothing would have prepared her for the harrowing. She never thought a fade demon would be able to have so much allure over her vanities. Even when she knew it was a lie, she couldn't help feeling her resolve falter as she spoke to them. She could not remember if she came out victorious or if she was indeed defeated by the spirits like so many apprentices before her.

That would be awful. She sighed to herself. I really wanted to see the looks on everyone's faces when I came back unscathed…especially that damned Greagoir.

"…ana! Surana!" A muffled yelling was fading in and out from a distance. She was getting her hearing back it seemed – dead people unquestionably do not have the ability to hear. The voice sounded as if she was underwater and they were yelling from the surface.

She felt warm hands grasping her own, gripping her fingers so tightly that she could feel her pulse beat in sync against theirs. The sense of touch seemed to be returning…This is getting better and better. She thought.

Her eyelids fluttered and the lights hit her pupils with a white hot flash of discomfort. She squinted and saw that everything before her was blurred and hazy. Even though she could not see much, it was enough to send a small feeling of hope rise from the pit of her stomach.

She wasn't dead, she was alive. Neria Surana survived her harrowing!

Neria suddenly felt the cold bite of steel against her neck and froze. Yes…she thought…I am definitely alive.

"Put your sword down, templar! She is waking from her trance." Wynne's firm demand sounded like music to Neria's ears.

"She may be possessed! Do not drop your guard, Cullen!" Greagoir instructed.

Neria felt the sword press harder against her throat. She tried to speak but her voice could not cooperate with the threat of sharp blade about to cut into her neck. She could barely breathe with Cullen's arm restraining her shoulders and chest.

"Greagoir, tell your soldier to stand down. Surana is regaining consciousness and I do not detect the presence of any unwanted spirits within her." First Enchanter Irving stepped up, his quiet words spoken with gravity.

"She doesn't seem to be cognizant, Irving. Be prepared to strike her down, Cullen. Do not yield." Greagoir ordered.

Cullen swallowed back the bile that was rising in his mouth. His promise to Solona was clear, but the Knight Commander was being rigid with his command. Was it possible that Neria Surana came back from the fade as an abomination? He pushed that thought from his mind

He promised Solona that no harm would fall upon her friend and she would be given her fair chance. He would have to stall his Commander as long as he could in order to keep his accord.

"Knight Commander!" Wynne cried, her usual composed demeanor was gone. "Surana is regaining her senses. Do not strike her down while she is in such a state without proof!"

"Her time is up. You know the rules." Greagoir countered. "Cullen, prepare to strike."

Cullen looked at Neria's face as her eyes came into focus. "Ser, I believe she is regaining consciousness."

"Don't argue with me, Cullen! I said, prepare to strike."

Neria took a shallow breath and hissed through her teeth. "My time would not have elapsed if you didn't spend so much time arguing amongst yourselves while I have a bloody sword at my throat!"

At those words, Cullen's arms immediately fell to his side and Neria collapsed on the floor, coughing for air. Wynne rushed to her apprentice, making sure that she was unharmed.

Greagoir flashed the templar an angry look. "I didn't say you could let her go, Cullen."

"I apologize, Knight Commander." Cullen quickly bowed in contrition. "It was an accident."

"Surana is fine, Greagoir. Calm yourself." Irving stood in place with his hands clasped behind his back. He gazed at Neria who was now rubbing a hand against her slender neck. "Am I to assume that everything went well, my dear?"

Neria lifted her gaze to both Irving and Wynne who were looking at her with expressions of relief and amusement. She then turned her eyes towards Cullen who had the look of someone who just had both the biggest reprieve and disappointment in his life. The burst of adrenaline was wearing off and then fatigue was quickly taking over.

Before she gave in to her body's cry for rest, Neria turned to look up at Greagoir's sour face and found the energy lift her mouth in a triumphant grin. "Yes, everything went perfectly well."

She then fell into Wynne's arms and closed her eyes to welcome the dreamless void.

The chamber door flew open and Solona bolted up from her chair. Cullen stepped into her room and quickly closed the door behind him. His face was impassive as he stood before her for several moments, silently gazing into her eyes.

Solona's heart skipped a beat, terrified that the templar had arrived to give her news about Neria's failure. She slowly lifted her hand to her chest, willing herself to calm down.

"Cullen…" Solona's lip trembled. "Is Neria…?"

Cullen's face then broke into a weary smile. "Surana has passed the harrowing."

Solona let out a cry of joy and without thinking, threw herself into the templar's arms. "She's okay? Came back completely safe?"

Cullen hesitated for a brief moment before he embraced her gently. He bent down to breathe in the scent of Solona's hair. "She is fine. She did not come back as an abomination. She has successfully completed her trial." He spoke softly, trying to savor the moment of Solona's happiness as long as he could.

Solona realized her position and politely stepped back from Cullen's embrace. She turned her head shyly to avoid his intense stare. "Would…would it be okay if I went to see her right now?"

Cullen stifled his sigh of regret and shook his head. "You cannot. After a mage finishes the harrowing, they are completely drained of their strength. Surana is now asleep in the Senior Enchanter's chamber." Cullen paused and added in tenderly, "But you will most likely see her later tonight."

Solona nodded in understanding. If Neria was with Wynne, then she was getting the best possible care. "I will wait for her then."

They stared at each other for several silent seconds. Cullen shifted uncomfortably and then turned to leave. "I will go back to my duties then."

Before he placed his hand on the door, Solona spoke up. "Cullen. Thank you…for keeping your promise."

The words of gratitude twisted at Cullen's heart. He closed his eyes from the pain. He knew that his promise was nothing more than blackmail…to hold Solona's affections hostage to save her from Anders. However, Solona's thanks was sincere with no hostility in her tone.

Cullen did not turn around but continued to stare at the door. "You…you're welcome." He replied gruffly.

"I will go see First Enchanter Irving tonight to have a new mentor reassigned to me." Solona said softly. "I will keep my side of the agreement, Cullen."

At those words, Cullen spun around and saw Solona's eyes filled with tears. It was apparent from her expression that she was holding them back the best she could. With the look regret on his face, Cullen bent down to hold her in his arms again.

"I'm so sorry, Solona. Please forgive me for wanting you for myself." He confessed huskily. "I admit, I am not only doing this because I want to protect you from the Maleficar…but also because I cannot stand the thought of you in the arms of another."

Speechless, Solona felt the tears escape her eyes and fall freely down her cheeks. Cullen released his hold and stood up to look at her face. He carefully wiped a tear with his armored hand. "Maker forgive me for this desire." He whispered to himself.

He kissed Solona for the briefest of seconds before he swiftly departed from the chamber. As the door shut behind him, Solona crumpled to the floor. She couldn't cry in sadness. She couldn't shout in anger.

She stared vacantly at the ceiling, at a loss on what to do.

Ah, her voice echoed in her mind, this is the feeling of having your heart torn in two…

She closed her eyes. I'm such a despicable person.