No Better

Draco tried to relax, he wasn't quite as nervous as he had been; Lupin had believed him, even brought him to his…home? He wasn't really sure, it was just a shabby hotel room, but the fact that he had brought him to safety at all made him immensely grateful. They could be in a box for all he cared. Lupin was currently out switching rooms, one with two beds would make the situation less awkward.

Lupin had told him to help himself to some tea, and that they'd get food later. Draco felt slightly guilty, seeing as Lupin didn't seem to have much money. He jumped at the sound of the door opening, but it was only Lupin returning.

"We can move, now. It's a floor up. Directly above, room twenty-six." Lupin walked about, picking up what few things he had. Once he had everything, Lupin indicated they should go. Draco grabbed his bundle and followed.

Xxxxx

"Can I ask you something?" Lupin asked him from across the room. Draco looked up, Lupin was sitting near the window, the food they had bought still untouched.

"Yeah, I mean, of course." Draco could guess what was going to be asked, he had been mentally preparing his answers; he wanted Lupin to understand. He hadn't just left for selfish reasons. But in explaining this, he would have to bring up the werewolves, something he wasn't comfortable with.

"What made you want out so badly? I know Voldemort isn't happy with your family, but what about your mother and father?" Lupin looked him directly in the eyes, as if to tell Draco that he could say what was on his mind.

"You're aware, obviously, that I was assigned to Greyback?" At Lupin's nod, he continued, "While I was there, with him, I realized that a society ruled by Voldemort would be like how it is with werewolves. One person would have control and they would abuse it and make conditions horrible unless you're on his side." Draco realized that had been a bad summery, leaving out details, but Lupin seemed to understand.

"Yes. That's why we've been fighting so hard to stop Voldemort. And surely you realize by now that being on his side does not necessarily guarantee good treatment." Draco nodded in response.

"And as for my mother and father…They have both changed. My mother has become apathetic, I think as a way of coping. And my father is," Draco was suddenly uncomfortable. Should he tell Lupin that his father was sometimes violent?

But Lupin seemed to have guessed the rest of his sentence. "I knew of Lucius while in school. He was never a kind man. I imagine that under such stress as being a Death Eater, especially one who has angered Voldemort, he might show his family that side of him."

"I know it sounds selfish, but between my father being like that and having to be around Greyback, that's what really made me want out. I don't think…even after I realized just how wrong it was, if I hadn't been suffering, I don't know if…" He broke off, ashamed.

"Draco," Remus called softly, "You have been raised in such a way that all of your previous actions are understandable. It takes time to question what you have been taught, especially to question your parents. As with Sirius, he only got out of it all so early because he had friends that supported him. You've never had anyone to tell you what you are doing is wrong or try to help you out."

Draco only nodded. What Lupin was telling him helped, but the more he thought of how he'd been, the worse he felt. But maybe he could make amends, and maybe Lupin was the place to start. "In third year, when you taught," he looked at Lupin, hoping the man knew he was being sincere, "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I know…I know, now, that I'm no better than you are."

Lupin stared for a moment, "Thank you, Draco."

Xxxxx