Ch. 11
Things between Cat and I were going well. She nursed me back to health and my broken rib was still on the mend. It was a stress fracture- whatever that meant. I don't understand medical terms- it's cute how excited Cat gets trying to explain the Latin terms for the parts of the body to me. "Let's play the game operation," she says. I bought her that stupid game back in college as a joke to get her through finals week. She ended up not studying for her exams and passed all her clinicals. Don't ask me but I am pretty sure a dumb game like that prepared her for the exams. I always hated how that board game was set up- with those stupid little plastic things twisted in that ugly stooge's body. I always touched the metal part with the tweezers and BEEEEP! His damn nose would turn red. Clearly medical school was never my speed. That's why I majored in theatre and the arts. As great as Cat is at all that stuff she ended up being a nurse. "Do we have to play operation? I suck at that game and his damn nose Cat... It turns red on me every time. I loose all the time." It's been a week since I read that letter that Cat wrote. I still feel like I owe her- I want her to trust me again. And maybe she does but I don't know that for sure. I know what I have to do...the thought of it makes me so nervous... But I know it's what needs to happen. "Cat do you trust me? In your letter... Do you trust me anymore?" She blinks and pauses. She still remembers that I cheated on her. "Not fully...Not yet Beck. It will come in time." "There's nothing I can do or say to speed time up to make you trust me sooner?" I asked in desperation- with my idea still pondering in the back of my head. "No Beck- you can't rush me into trusting you." "What if... I... ..What if we... Made love? Would you trust me then?" Suddenly her mood towards me changed. She knows that I am being serious now. "Your eyes... Beck... They don't lie." She blushes knowing that I want her to trust me- she knows I am a virgin and that me offering this is huge. She is a virgin as well. In high school I recall her asking me, "Beck, if both of us are virgins until we are 25 years old can we make love? Can we make love as best friends then?" "Sure Cat! I promise!" The memory fades away and then I say, "Sure Cat! I promise!" She smiles and I know it means she remembers as well. "We were fifteen then Beck! I don't know." "I promised you Cat and today is my birthday. So I am 25 right now!" Cat looked over at the calendar and felt embarrassed. "I completely forgot I am soooo sorry. I had a surprise party planned and everything." I hate it when she tries to change the subject. "Cat I don't care about that. I want my best friend back for my birthday that's all!" She scans my eyes for lies. "I seek no lies. You really want to make love?..." "Only if you will have me, Cat. Only if you think you are ready to trust me again. Only if you think you are ready to let me love you again. Cause I do Cat- I love you so much and I can't bear to loose you! EVER again!" She views my eyes and sees no lies. She closes her eyes and leans into kiss me. It's been awhile since I have kissed her. Something is different about the way she is kissing me- I now know why. She is agreeing to make love with me. I close my eyes and prepare myself for the full Cat experience. I then remember my broken rib, "Cat can we move to the couch? My rib hurts a bit on this bed." She nods and as we move to the couch she sets herself down on my lap. She shoves her wet tongue into my mouth and I feel those goose bumps rising up from my pores. I tilt her back again like before and do something I haven't done to a woman- caress her chest. I fondle her soft breasts and slowly unhook her bra. It's a lacy bra with a blue zebra pattern on it. I can't believe she is finally allowing me to undress her. I then begin to kiss her all over her chest and watch that look on her face- the one begging me for more. I begin to kiss her lips some more,"Cat I...love... All... Of...you!" Her heart pounds beneath my hands. Something inside tells me to stop. "Cat we ...can ...wait," I tell her. "Thank... you ...Beck. I'm not ready yet. Can we make out?" She asks me as I help her put her bra back on. "Beck, I ... Love... All of you! And I trust in ...you... Can you be my... Boyfriend again?" She asks me, while sitting on my lap. "Sure, sweetie. You're all I wanted for my birthday!" Even though we didn't make love or have sex- I got my girl back and that's worth more to me than anything else in the world.