Chapter 11
Kaiba was quickly becoming my favourite person. He looked out for me, ensured that I had everything I needed. He wasn't who I had first thought him to be. He wasn't the same self-obsessed, ego-maniacal, scumbag I had made him out to be. He was a completely different self-obsessed, ego-maniacal , scumbag, one I found myself falling for deeper and deeper. Eventually it would be too late to crawl out of the pit I fell into. Eventually, I'll be stuck idolising someone I can never have. I knew this was stupid of me, I knew that I had little to no chance with him, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself from liking this douche just for helping me out. I was quickly falling in love with this guy, all because he was able to show that he cared for me.
Call me fucked up, mainly because I am, but I love Seto Kaiba.
I attached myself to whomever showed me any kindness, it was probably a fault of mine, a weakness, surely I would be hurt in the end of this, surely he would never return the feelings I had for him, but I couldn't stop thinking that maybe I had a chance. That maybe, maybe, his actions were based off the same emotions mine were. The flowers he plucked for me, the seeds he bought me, the help he offered, I couldn't stop thinking that it was all out of some form of sentiment that he held for me, that maybe, just maybe, he might have loved me as well.
School dragged, a daily chore that I found myself hating. I couldn't hear the lectures, I couldn't work in groups, I couldn't do anything unless Kaiba was with me. Art class turned into a struggle for me, but I still could not help but love it. I felt bad for Kaiba however, stuck with me, all the time, stuck helping me, I had wanted to prove that I could do things on my own, and yet my insistence to return to Domino High left me helpless. I needed Kaiba by my side every second of the day. I needed him by my side to ensure I knew what I was doing, that I wasn't just fucking around with a book or doodling. He was a help, and I did love spending so much time with him, but I couldn't help but feel as though I was dragging him down, that I was holding him back. I always felt this way, I always felt bad for things that were out of my hands, and I couldn't stop feeling that way.
Yet Kaiba did what he could. He would comfort me in any way necessary, reassure me, tell me that he didn't mind all that much, that he rather enjoyed spending time with me now. Thanks to this, my hopes would be raised, thanks to this, I'd begin thinking that I had some chance with him, and thanks to this, the cycle would start all over again.
It was Thursday now, third class of the day, everyone was already packing up for the bell that would signal lunch. I started packing as well, Kaiba, however, sat motionless, staring at the board up ahead, as though he were deep in thought. I stopped, waved my hand in front of his face to get his attention.
He seemed rather shaken by the sudden disturbance. He glanced at me, signed.
"Why don't we eat lunch on the roof today, just the two of us?"
He must have been tired of my friends. I couldn't blame him, Honda always seemed to be angry with him, Yugi was his rival, Anzu was far too bossy for him. I couldn't blame him. I agreed. I wouldn't mind going a day without eating lunch with those guys. Not like I could talk to any of them anyway. They really ought to learn sign language as well.
After lunch, Kaiba escorted me to the roof, we sat in the shade by the door. It was hot out today, what you'd expect from a summer afternoon. We sat in silence, as per the usual, occasionally sharing jokes between one another. For the most part, we didn't say much. There wasn't much to say. I could feel the air between us grow stiff, Kaiba was wound up for some reason, I felt guilty for it. Yet he still seemed to be enjoying himself. A small smile pressed to his face, content and happy, his eyes gazed at the ground in a soft, sentimental manner. He enjoyed spending this time with me, even if it was a little stiff.
Once more I found myself thinking that maybe he might have felt the same for me, and once more, I found myself making a huge mistake, something I was just prone to do. This would probably ruin everything that was between us, but I had no control over my body as my mind fixated on this idea.
I leaned toward him, one hand now resting on his cheek, the other supporting me on the ground. I turned his head, ensured he was staring at me with that sentimental stare, not the floor. The look in his eyes sent a flurry of wild butterfly through my insides, my stomach twisting as shock filled his expression. He didn't know what I was doing, and frankly, neither did I.
I leaned in, gently pressed my face to his own, a kiss that I couldn't keep from happening.
I was an idiot.