Chapter 10: When the Final Countdown Comes

It took about a week of more or less nonstop training, but in the end, SuperPrincessPuffy was finally ready; she even managed to defeat me in a home run contest, though she did point out that I was still holding back—which is something I still have trouble doing to this day, but more on that later.

"Well," said SuperPrincessPuffy, "I guess I'm ready now."

"There's still one last test you must pass," I said.

"Don't tell me; I have to defeat you in a three-stock match, don't I?"

"Yes. How did you—?"

"It's such a cliché, even for this story."

"Excuse me?"

"Before the student who used to be a total noob can move on to face the arch villain, he or she has to either surpass his or her master after the master falls in battle or defeat the master in one final practice fight. It's like the oldest trick in the book."

"You know, she's got a point," said i10v3myL1p5. "Can't we just send her off against whoever it is that Dangeresque1872…uh, what was his name again?"

"UltimateAdmin, if I recall correctly," I said.

"Yeah, that's right. UltimateAdmin could very well have done the same series of tests and failed. Can't we just send her off against this guy and be done with it?"

"I suppose so."

"Right. Anyway, Dangeresque1872 told me to bring you two to server 38Y."

"Alright," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "Let's go."

Without another word, we all left for server 38Y.

…

The stage was Dragon's Lair—a stage I had previously received a patch for—a massive palace chamber lined with ornate dragon statues along the walls in the background below. Standing beside Dangeresque1872 at the other end of the stage was UltimateAdmin.

"So, this is Dragon's Lair," I thought, remembering that I had never actually gotten to play on the stage. "I pity Nintendo for not having finished it before."

"Wait a second," said i10v3myL1p5. "I thought you said the stage would be Final Destination."

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind," said Dangeresque1872.

"How come?"

"Final Destination's too cliché; if we fought there, we'd just be a giant joke for the readers."

"We already are kind of a giant joke. By the way, where did you get this stage?"

"I got it at the store. It's amazing what you can find there."

"Right. Anyway, remember the deal: one hack each, no invincibles, no instant kills, and no Final Smashes."

"Got it. UltimateAdmin, walk off the stage."

UltimateAdmin walked off the stage and respawned shortly afterwards as a black palette Link player with no sword or shield.

"Hey," said UltimateAdmin. "What happened to me?"

"I turned you into Dark Link," said Dangeresque1872. "You're just like regular Link, only much better."

"Oh really."

"Try your B-up move."

"Right, but I have a question. Which button's B-up again?"

I could almost see Dangeresque1872 facepalm in real life.

"Ummmmmmmmmm 'kay," said i10v3myL1p5. "SuperPrincessPuffy, you walk off."

"Okay," said SuperPrincessPuffy, walking off the stage and respawning shortly afterwards.

Needless to say, she was disappointed that she didn't look any different.

"Hey. How come I don't look any different?"

"Tap on B," said i10v3myL1p5.

"Um, okay."

She initiated Rollout and was immediately off like a rocket, colliding into me and knocking me back considerably.

"Wow! What did you do to me?"

"I suped up all your moves," said i10v3myL1p5. "You're now Super SuperPrincessPuffy."

He then turned to me and continued talking.

"Senshi, you might want to leave. This could get ugly."

"Ah, let him stay. It'll be all the more fun to watch if his little pupil loses."

"No," I said. "I think we should all leave and let these two players fight each other."

"Agreed, and to raise the stakes higher, why don't we make it so that the losers—both the player and his or her trainer(s)—are perma-banned?"

"I accept," I said. "If you win, i10v3myL1p5, SuperPrincessPuffy, and I are all perma-banned. If we win, you and UltimateAdmin are perma-banned."

"What?" said i10v3myL1p5, SuperPrincessPuffy, and UltimateAdmin.

"Then it's settled," said Dangeresque1872 as he left the server to spectate. "Prepare to lose."

"Good luck, SuperPrincessPuffy," I said as i10v3myL1p5 and I left.

…

Needless to say, the fight was nightmarishly lopsided, and in the end, SuperPrincessPuffy was victorious. I'd normally describe the three-stock match in detail, but in this case, that would only add undue insult to injury.

"Wow," said Dangeresque1872 reentering the server. "That was nightmarishly useless."

"Uh…" said i10v3myL1p5, "what are we supposed to do?"

"I believe that we are to act upon our deal," I said.

"Bah," said Dangeresque1872. "As if I'd agree to such a silly deal as that."

"You mean…"

"That's right. I lied. I never really intended to follow through with letting myself get perma-banned, and even if I did get perma-banned, no matter how many times it happened to me, I'd always find a way to come back, for I am—"

"Eat this!" shouted a familiar voice, and on cue, a bright bluish green burst of energy exploded around Dangeresque1872, propelling him high into the air.

In an instant, he was pinballed across the stage by Johnny7, grave, and royalpain22. The last player to appear was 4NGRYCh|_|k.

"Imma firin' ma lazer," he quipped, smiting the downed Dangeresque1872 with a fully charged Giant Punch.

"NOOOOOOO!" screamed Dangeresque1872 as he soared out of the server.

"Heh heh. I've always wanted ta say that line."

"Wait a second," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "Where did you guys come from?"

"I brought them here," I said. "All have helped you in your development as a player."

"Technically," said royalpain22, "you're the one who needed developing, Senshi."

"What?"

"When you brought us together as a guild, you were rather arrogant and condescending to the rest of us, if not insecure as well. Now that you've had your chance to train someone to her fullest potential, I think we can safely say that you've matured as both a leader and a friend."

I gave thought to what royalpain22 said for a moment, and then spoke up.

"You're right," I said, "and I am glad to see all of you again. Thank you."

"Anytime," said SuperPrincessPuffy. "By the way, isn't there some kind of big tournament that you guys signed up for a while back?"

"Yes. Why don't you come with us?"

"I'll pass, but I'll be rooting for you—all of you, including i10v3myL1p5—all the way. And I think we all learned something after all that's happened: what makes players great isn't their rank or their skill, but the quality of their friends."

…

"Wait a sec," said 4NGRYCh|_|k. "Are we really gonna end it like this?"

"Yes," I said.

"That's really lame."

…

"Wait a second," said i10v3myL1p5. "Just what was Dangeresque1872 up to, anyway?"

"Well, you see," said royalpain22, "he had organized a team of hackers to hunt down and delete or ban high-level players so that they couldn't participate in the Dairantus Grand Tourney, and you were next on his list."

"How did you find all this out?"

"I've been spying on him ever since he appeared in Chapter 7. He was very easy to track; all I did was follow his IP address."

"That's pretty clever."

"And to think you were once a great hacker and you never thought of tracking him down."

"What?"

…

Eventually, we left the server and started training for the upcoming Dairantus Grand Tourney, which we ultimately won. And that's more or less the story of how Smash Seed was formed. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a guild meeting to head to in order to discuss adding new members. Goodbye.