Xenosaga: Gottlicher Eingriff
Note: If you want to leave a review that has some criticism, that's okay. I accept criticism. But please elaborate! Leaving a review that just says 'hey, your story was confusing' doesn't help me at all! I can't make my story easier to understand if you don't tell me what is wrong in the first place.
Chapter Eleven: Where Did I Go Wrong?
"Has MOMO seemed kind of…unusual to you guys lately?" Shion asked, watching the pink-haired Realian wandering from the dinner table, her eyes slightly glazed over as she concentrated on a thought that the rest could only begin to guess at.
"What do you mean?" Jr. asked, swallowing his food. "She seemed perky enough when she was here a minute ago. She was laughing along with the rest of us when Tony and Hammer got into that food fight."
"Well, I mean, she still acts the same…but something seems a little off," Shion elaborated, frowning. "She smiles and acts the same, but it doesn't quite seem to be anything more than skin deep."
"I too have noticed something odd," Ziggy added. "She wasn't like this before. In fact, it seems to have happened recently."
"Hmmm…" Jr. muttered thoughtfully, thinking as he mechanically took a sip of his water, not really feeling the cool liquid sliding down his throat. Could they be right…?
---
Canaan peeked his head around the corner cautiously, looking around with his sensors on high. He didn't want to be surprised at all, but especially not in here, not until they knew who or what they were dealing with. The hallway was completely clear, so he gestured to Jin, then began to walk forward slowly, his eyes still roaming around their surroundings. Behind him, his feet barely more than a whisper, padded Jin.
The gun still firmly in his hand, he stopped before a sealed door. The red letters on the outside merely read 'Authorized Personnel Only'. Looking around once more, he walked up to the access panel. It looked like a twelve-digit encryption code with a cardkey slot, above which the red 'locked' sign sat boldly. Jin, who was looking over his shoulder, whistled soundlessly.
"Now what?" he whispered quietly. Canaan frowned, looking around. He had no idea where the cardkey would be located (probably with Margulis, which would indeed be just his luck) and with twelve digits there was a wide range of number sequences that could be the correct one. No, there had to be another way.
Hoping that something would trigger his memory, he scanned the area once more. It was still just the one door, at the center of the complex, with 'Authorized Personnel Only' on the door. It was safe to assume that this place held some importance. But the question was not what needed to be hidden, but how to get into the damn place.
'What do I know?' he questioned himself. 'Well, we're almost certain that Margulis is here, running the show from behind the scenes despite his 'death'. Therefore, whatever is in here would be controlled by him.'
"Jin, you know Margulis, correct?" he whispered. Jin grimaced, but nodded an affirmative. "Does he seem to be the paranoid type?"
"Definitely," Jin said. Canaan nodded.
"Then he will be the only one with access to this room. Therefore, he will have top security in place. No doubt even workers for the area are either limited or have been eliminated. It probably is an important storehouse, although I don't know for what…"
"Does all that mean we're screwed?" Jin asked, a light smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Canaan resisted the urge to hit him. Why was he making light of their rather precarious situation?
"Perhaps," was all he said.
"Okay then," he said. He pulled out his katana, and sliced through the panel on the door, effectively severing all links to the security system and changing the signal to a green 'open' sign. Canaan stared at him in horror as the warning klaxons sounded and the halls dimmed as red emergency lights appeared, but Jin didn't even have the decency to look abashed. "We weren't going to get the key from Margulis without alerting him anyway, so why not just get whatever is in here first?"
Canaan had to admit it did make a certain amount of sense. It was suicide, certainly, but this entire mission had been suicide from the outset. This was just the quickest route to that suicide.
"Fine," he said, and together they stepped into the room as the first guards appeared around the edge of the corridor. Together they moved heavy boxes of A.M.W.S parts to barricade the door ('together' was the operative word, as Jin merely scooted a few smaller boxes that couldn't stop rats in front of the door as Canaan used all of his Realian strength).
Their work finished for the moment, they turned around, only to find that the far end of the hangar was too dark for them to see anything.
"There has to be a light switch around here somewhere," Jin said, feeling around the walls. "Surely near the door – aha! I've got it." He flicked the switch, and slowly the huge lights came up. Canaan and Jin just stared at the far end.
"Impressive. I certainly didn't expect that," Jin said. And Canaan could not have agreed more.
Behind them there was a crash, and the boxes gave way. The door opened, and in stepped Margulis, who surveyed them slowly.
"Well, well, well," he said softly. "So nice of you to join me. I was just thinking I could use a little work out." His sword was raised into the ready position, and the words had just left his mouth when he charged at them.
---
He personally hadn't thought there was anything wrong with MOMO when it had been mentioned two days ago. But Ziggy and Shion knew MOMO very well, and could usually pick up on these kinds of things. Maybe there was something that he wasn't seeing after all. With a twinge of regret at the thought of Albedo, he realized that this was an extremely likely explanation.
Besides, why else had she been avoiding him these past few days?
"And that should leave everything settled nicely," said a cool feminine voice, breaking through into this thoughts. Dr. Nausicaa Kitase had finished repairing the Realians, and was on her way back to her home to report to Dr. Mizrahi about her daughter's decision to remain onboard the Durandal, with a new Gnosis threat looming in the near future. Suki sat next to her, her gray hair tied back neatly, listening to every word. She had received permission to join the Durandal crew and stay with her sisters, much to her happiness. Already she fit in very well with them.
"I see. Thank you very much for your time and effort," Gaignun said. "I trust that you gave MOMO a check-up as well before you packed up?"
"Of course. I don't want to be strangled by Juli because I forgot," laughed Nausicaa. "I just don't know how to tell her about her daughter's mental condition. I was just in the dining hall with her when she abruptly got up and left, calling back something that sounded like, 'I need some space.' I don't know quite what that was all about…"
Only yesterday he had met her in the hallway, and had walked up to her with the intent of asking her about hanging out with him and chaos when the went down to the Foundation for some new E.S. supplies. Instead she had stopped abruptly at his approach, and fled down a series of corridors until he could no longer see her.
So…now what? I can't just let this go…
"Umm, excuse me a moment," he said abruptly to Gaignun. There had to be something he could do. He pretended for the moment not to see the knowing look that they all shared – he could chew them out about it later, after MOMO had been taken care of.
Jr. stopped in the hallway as the door closed behind him with a 'swoosh'. He had just realized something.
He had no idea where MOMO would have gone.
Maybe to see her sisters? But no, they would all be on duty now, and MOMO would never interrupt that. Besides, the whole point of wanting to be alone and think was to not seek out human company. That would rule out many other places that MOMO loved to go, including the Park, the recreational rooms of the Residential Area, and Kukai Foundation itself. So she was probably on the Durandal.
Okay, that narrows it down a little bit. Could she be in her room? That's pretty out of the way, and she does share it with Shion, but she could lock the door. And no one would bother her there. Well, except me, but she doesn't know that part yet.
Feeling a little better about the fact that he actually knew something about his friends, he set off at a brisk pace to the next corridor down where the rooms were, waving half-heartedly at the people he passed by. He was a man on a mission, and they all knew it.
Arriving at her door he felt his steps begin to falter. What in the galaxy was he supposed to say to her? Hey MOMO, Shion said you were feeling really crappy, so I came to see you. Definitely not. He sat across from the doorway, staring at it as he tried to gather his thoughts.
What was he supposed to do here? He'd never been good at this 'emotion' thing, which wasn't going to help MOMO very much, who was always sensitive to things like that. Maybe he could as her to hang out with him somewhere, and then bring it up later. Yes, that was a good plan. With a rising air of confidence, he sat up and walked across the hallway to her door, and knocked on it lightly.
"MOMO?" he called when no one answered.
Silence.
"MOMO?" he tried again, louder.
Silence.
"If you don't open up, I'm going to come in!" he called out.
Silence.
"Okay then." He was glad the door was unlocked; his master key was currently lying discarded under a pile of scattered books and food wrappers in the center of his room. He watched as the door opened and stepped in, greeted by…
…an empty room.
"Damnit!" he shouted, punching the wall. Composing himself, he exited the room, and collapsed on a nearby bench. That had been his only lead, too.
Don't panic yet. Maybe there's something I forgot about. The Isolation Area is a major no – she hates the Gnosis/Humans and the Zohars remind her too much of her father. She wouldn't be anywhere around the Bridge because everyone is on duty. I don't think she'd go into the dining hall during lunch hours. The Hanger, perhaps? But her Zebulun is currently Gnosis food, so she couldn't be going for that. The Dock is pretty boring, and everyone on the Elsa would only bother her they're so loud.
There's nothing left. She decided to go somewhere private on the Foundation. Hmmm…but where could that be? Of course! I should have seen it earlier! The beach! MOMO would indeed go to the beach. She loved it with all her heart, and always insisted on going there when she had the time. And, because it was Gaignun's private beach, no one else would be there.
MOMO, please be there, he begged silently as he ran for the transport shuttle.
---
This portion of the enormous Dammerung was always kept isolated at the command of CEO Wilhelm. No one knew why, and no one wanted to as long as he was in control of the paychecks.
At first all the people who passed the area would whisper and point to it, curious as to its existence. Rumors sprang up like wildfire, all coming from a 'reliable source' or 'an eyewitness'. Some said that he used it to carry out top secret and illegal research, while some said that he building an army of KOS-MOS. A particularly far-fetched one swore that was where he had the Original Zohar. But none even came close to the truth.
Inside was a simple set of quarters, four rooms branching off of the common room, which could have belonged to any crew member. There were chairs and a table, pillows flung about haphazardly, a few lamps, and a shelf of books (the only rarity that suggested these people were important in anyway).
The couch was currently taken up by a figure all in white, who was in the process of staring at the ceiling without moving so much as a muscle – he was still as death. Two more were across from him, garbed in red and blue. The fourth was not present – that was the way the three preferred it.
"Well?" snapped the one in red, Kevin he had been called in life, although Red Testament was his only identity now.
"What are you going to do about it?" questioned the Blue Testament, who had once been a Lieutenant by the name of Virgil.
"…" The man who had been known as Albedo, now reduced to White Testament, didn't say a thing. Kevin sighed. He had been trying to talk to this man for the past fifteen minutes, but he never said a thing. He hadn't since he had arrived here. Kevin was ready to strangle the man, were it not for the fact that he had to be dead to have joined their group. Surely the man had a brain of some sort – why wasn't he using that or his vocal cords?
"Look, you have to do something about it," Kevin insisted. "You can't possibly hope to stay neutral with two forces like Voyager and Wilhelm on opposing sides. You're going to have to go with one or the other."
"Voyager's plan is creative – it will allow him to gain the upper hand. But Wilhelm already has a strict hold over everything, and it will be difficult for Voyager to get that power in the first place." Virgil could be a loose cannon when the situation became a do-or-die one, but when he had a moment to stop and think he could be icily logical. He had perfectly summed up the restrictions of the plans. "We must stand together on this, because otherwise we will all be annihilated."
"All for one, and one for all…that was the way it was supposed to be…" whispered a voice quietly. Kevin jumped, wondering if Voyager had come in before he was due back. But there were only the three of them in the room. He looked back at the eerily still man on the couch – the voice was unknown, so it was most likely him.
"What?" he asked, leaning in closer so that he could hear what was being said.
"The Three Musketeers. 'All for one, and one for all'. That was their motto, and that was the way it was supposed to be."
"Err…I guess so." Kevin was aware, in the back of his mind, that 'err' was not a word. But he was too confused and tired to care. "Look, if we could get back to – "
"I must've gone wrong somewhere. No, I know I did. I was too weak; it gained control. I was too weak again; now he has gained control. Where did I go wrong?"
Kevin frowned as he stared at the man. He was used to dealing with the lunacy of Voyager, with his changing moods and violent tempers. But this… this was a new, quiet insanity that he didn't know how to deal with.
Virgil, however, looked sympathetic toward the man. "You sold yourself out too, huh? What was it for?"
The man said nothing.
"I did it because of my girlfriend, myself. We had meet years ago, and were starting to be very serious about our relationship. I was away on military duty when it happened, the Miltian Conflict. She was a Realian, and was killed while she tried to save her young charge.
"I wanted to join her, but I was too scared to kill myself. One day I was sitting in the park, my pistol out on my knee, and I was just staring at it, trying to work up the courage to fire it, when a man sat down next to me. He asked me if I really thought that was a good idea. 'Of course,' I replied. 'She's dead, and I don't want to be without her.' He sat there and listened as the story poured out of me, even putting up with me as I rambled on and on about the little quirks that she had, which I had complained about but never really meant. Then, when I fell silent, he turned to me and said, 'If you could be with her again, without the use of that gun, would you?' I didn't even think about my reply – I just said yes.
"I did everything Wilhelm said, and it was mundane at first. Then there was some killing involved, and other violent things, but when I thought of seeing her again it all seemed worth it." He laughed hollowly. "But when I finally met her again, she didn't agree with my methods, and that's a real schism between us. We're just two ghosts, now, who happened to know each other once upon a time."
Kevin gaped openly at the man. He had known that Virgil had a caring side somewhere, but this was the first time that he had actually seen it.
"What about you?" Albedo asked suddenly, his eyes on Kevin and his curiosity obviously sparked. Kevin frowned, but it couldn't hurt. Maybe they could actually get something done if he opened up a bit.
"My reason isn't nearly so noble," Kevin said. "In the beginning it was all just because I wanted to save myself. Wilhelm also came to me, a mere junior technician of eighteen at the time. I had been in an accident at Vector Industries – a cannon overheated and exploded while I was working on it. It was a miracle I survived the blast, really. But the he came to see me, and said that he could heal me if I would do all that he asked. I was young and desperate – and I agreed.
"I never really considered the implications of that, but all that he asked I did, even when some illegal jobs came up – never killing, though. I was a civilian, not a soldier. Then came a dream project, to design and build the latest anti-Gnosis weapon, KOS-MOS. In the beginning he came to me personally with all of these weird programs to design into her and I did what he asked. But over time he was busy, and I began to forget I had sold my soul. I made friends, and I had fiancé…and he took that from me, because I was his servant.
"KOS-MOS was started up too early, and I was finally killed trying to save my fiancé. It's rather ironic, really. I was saved from one weapon only to be destroyed by another."
Albedo was looking at him now, his mask removed to reveal an eternally youthful face, marred by deep purple eyes that had seen too much too soon. He sat up slowly, and looked down at his hands. When he began, his voice was soft and distant.
"I wanted to die. I had been a bio-engineered weapon, and as a result of the gene-changing process I had the unusual ability of immortality, because my cells regenerated at a very quick rate. At first it was wonderful. I fell from a tree, but not even a bruise was present. I was accidentally shot in a simulator, and it didn't even bother me. But then I learned that my brothers were not like me at all. And I had to face the truth, the fact that they would die while I continued to live.
"I was so scared of everything, and that weakness caused me to loose my sanity as I was possessed by a being from another dimension called U-DO. I did a lot of things I'd rather not remember, illegal and violent, but I still knew in the back of my mind that I was still going to outlive them all.
"Like the two of you I was approached during a moment of weakness, that rare sanity I so longed for in my gilded cage. He said he could kill me, if I would serve him for a little while afterward. Temporary immortality versus permanent immortality? The choice was perfectly clear, and without asking the consequences I agreed. But he couldn't even give me a decent death – he drove my own brother to do it. I had to sit there, knowing I had caused him more pain in my death than ever in life… It was… terrible…"
They were silent as he finished, each lost in thoughts of themselves and others. Their reasons were different, but in the end they were still here for one reason – their loved ones.
"I choose neither," Albedo said slowly. "I refuse to pick between two terrible evils. I want to destroy them both."
"We could…" said Virgil slowly. "We could play them off each other, perhaps get others to finish off the weaker."
"I know just who," Albedo and Kevin said together, and then looked at each other. They were thinking the same thing – the very group of vigilantes that occupied the mind of Wilhelm, his supposed puppets.
Before more plans could be made Wilhelm appeared. "It is time, Albedo. Your part has come."
The man rose slowly, but in his step Kevin could still see the remnants of the man who had been proud of himself and his brothers, the man that had wanted nothing more than to be by their side forever. Just like him, just like Virgil – Albedo had the right question. Where had they gone wrong?
---
MOMO was indeed entering the beach, although her mind was miles away. She did remember to shut the gate behind her, and then walked slowly along the beach, the false breeze making her hair billow out. She kicked at a small pebble, and watched as it skipped merrily over the grains of sand, plopping into the water and sinking lazily to the bottom.
Everything just seemed to be going wrong for her. She had gone to see Suki earlier, but the girl had been too busy trying to learn more about programming from Nausicaa before she left, which she had been doing ever since her arrival. Her poor sister had confided in her that it was an easy way to take her mind off of her memories – and lack thereof.
Even Suki doesn't seem bothered by what has been happening, MOMO thought sadly. She was happy for her sister, that wasn't in question at all. But why couldn't she feel the same way that Suki did? Not only had Suki been created by a madman, she had also been in the service of another one. The girl had been ignored, or punished when she was noticed. And she still seemed happy. Perhaps the present predicament hadn't occurred to her. It had taken MOMO a while to think about these things too, so enraptured was she of the new friends and surrogate father that had actually wanted to see her.
She had walked quite a way down the beach before stopping to rest on the low wall that was placed near the edge of the Foundation. When the glass was made clear instead of opaque she could look through and see the stars glimmering outside, although for now she just wanted to pretend this was real.
"Um, hey MOMO," said Jr. She supposed he thought that she hadn't seen him coming, but her sensors were always working. MOMO had considered running, but in the end there was nowhere left to hide. Still, she felt herself stiffen. Why did it have to be him? "Can I sit down a moment?"
Plastering a smile on her face, she responded brightly, although she didn't look at him. "Hi Jr.! Of course you can sit down with me!" She patted the wall space next to her, watching him with her sensors as he sat down. "What are you doing out here?"
"You seemed kinda distant today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and I just wanted to make sure that you were feeling okay about…life," he finished lamely as he scratched the back of his head, although MOMO was very touched by his thoughtfulness nevertheless.
"Oh, I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind, especially with what chaos was telling us about," she explained cheerily; it wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the whole truth either.
"Yeah, that was a lot to swallow all at once, wasn't it?" he said with his voice cheery and his eyes bright, although MOMO could still feel a degree of concern for her in his head. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the extraneous feelings. Oh no, don't start popping up here – what if he finds out?
"Uh, MOMO, are you okay?" he asked, confused and oblivious as always. She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak. He won't find out.
"I'm fine," she finally grated out, and was surprised to discover that her words were beginning to sound forced. She immediately tried to calm herself. "Its just a headache, nothing very important," she added in a more natural tone, but the damage had been done as his concern and even suspicion rose in his head. Maybe she really needed to get out of here…
MOMO jumped up from her seat on the wall, a lie already forming itself on her lips – I'm sorry father, I'll have to wait just a little longer to be real – but his hand on her wrist stopped her before she could even open her mouth.
"Please look at me," he pleaded. Her eyes, which had been avoiding his for the entire time, suddenly found themselves snapped to attention on his cerulean blue eyes. He wasn't looking at her with pity, or even sorrow. There was just confusion in their depths as he simply looked at her, his gaze even more intent than she had ever seen before. She turned her head, not wanting to look anymore, afraid the answer had already been written in her eyes.
"Jr., please let go of my wrist," she said quietly, the ocean the focus of her sight right now. But the pressure on her wrist was not diminished.
"MOMO…" he began uncertainly, but stopped to collect his thoughts. "I realize that… I'm not exactly the best person to talk to. Shion, Juli, chaos, and even Ziggy in an odd way… they're better at this emotion thing than I am. Maybe I'm the last person you want to talk to – okay, the absolute last person is KOS-MOS, but I'm not much better – anyway, what I wanted to say was that even though I'm not good at this sort of thing, I'm willing to listen, and help in anyway I can. I – we all care about you, MOMO, and we don't want to see you locked away like this."
In that moment, hearing the words coming from him and his heart, MOMO almost felt her resolve cave. She almost sat back down and told him everything: her insecurity, her fear, her own dark little secret. But she couldn't. She couldn't ask that of him, and she couldn't throw her problems on the shoulders of others.
"Sorry…" she whispered, not entire sure if the word was meant for him or one of the ghosts that always followed her, and wrenched her wrist away from him. Without a backward glance she ran back down the beach, her hair flying in the wind, and her mind trying to block out the hurt and sad feelings coming off of him in waves. Sorry Jr., but I just can't make you understand. Not now, and maybe not ever.
---
Wilhelm was sitting in his office when the message came through. It was a simple one, of one line, but it meant that everything was in readiness. He smiled to the unhappy man that was beside him, known now as the White Testament. All positions, names, identification – these were surrendered when their employment began, forgotten to the world as they had been forgotten, as dead as they were. His smile was far from cheery – it was more the sort a wolf gave a sheep before it ate the other. He beckoned to the man, who moved forward woodenly to read the message.
'The stage is set.' Without a word Wilhelm passed the message to the man next to him, who gave the sheet a quick glance.
"I see…" whispered the man. His head was bowed as he said the words with a cold finality; perhaps he was praying for his already damned soul. "I am to be off, then?"
"Now." It was a command, and they both knew it. "You will go to Second Milita, and you will command the defeated U-TIC on their role. Tell Margulis not to get too carried away. If he refuses his part of the plan, however…you have my permission to persuade him by any means necessary."
"I understand." With a defeated bow, the man dressed deceptively in white bowed and exited the office.
"And now the curtain rises…" Wilhelm murmured to no one. "They are but the players, but I – I shall be the director."
---
A groan of frustration escaped Jr.'s lips. This whole 'helping her feel better' plan was not going the way it was supposed to. It was supposed to end with her smiling cheerily and him grinning like an idiot, not an even sadder girl and a deeply confused boy. Where had he gone wrong? She had seemed to be all right for a little bit, and then he had gone and screwed up even that. Didn't she believe him? They all wanted for her to be happy, that was the complete truth. She could ask any of them, and that would be the answer she would receive.
A terrible thought struck him mid-rant.
It's me.
For a terrible moment his head began to spin – if he could manage to strike fear into her trusting heart, what did that say about him? After a moment of full-out panic, he tried to soothe his mind. Okay, so the problem seems to be me…but why won't she talk to me? Is what I did that terrible? If she won't tell me I can't make it all better. Perhaps he should enlist the help of Shion or Mary, to whom MOMO had been warming up recently. Yeah, surely that would help. And once he knew what was wrong, he could set about fixing it. But that didn't lessen the pain in his heart.
He kicked the wall below him in anger, glaring out at the 'ocean' before him. Where did I go wrong?
---
This was an unusual chapter, to say the least. It was difficult to write MOMO and Jr.'s scene without it becoming soap-opera-like, something I greatly fear it has still become. Writing the Testament scene was particularly difficult, as I wanted to make them easily corrupted, misguided human beings instead of the one-track killers they are sometimes made out to be (well, Kevin never really has been, but Virgil and Albedo…) and without making them into tragic heroes that were really good along and chose this path as the lesser of two evils. I hope I managed my point.
Anyway, don't you think reviewing would be marvelous to do right now?