Tony frowned at the door, contemplating his next move carefully; he was ninety eight percent sure that he should be here now, that coming round to apologise was the best course of action. He raised his arm to knock. On the other hand, maybe he should give her some time to calm down a bit, she had been absolutely furious with him and to be honest he could see why. Perhaps what she needed was a bit of space, yeah some room to breathe and see things from his point of view. He stepped back and turned to leave taking a few steps before spinning back round. Then again, maybe if he left her by herself she would just wallow in fury, getting more and more angry with him as she thought over what he had said. He clutched his pizza box tightly as a cold panic began to slowly spread its way through his body, he knew he had to decide, and fast. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, probably she already knew he was there, he had been lurking in the hall way for a while-his pizza was almost cold.

However, Ziva was not aware she had a nervous guest hovering outside her door, she was sitting on her sofa staring blankly into space. When she had arrived home she had immediately jumped into the shower and since then she had basically just sat nursing a class of rum willing her phone to ring or for Akim to turn up and forgive her, even though deep down she suspected that he would never be able to bring himself to do so, but she could hope.

Tony finally worked up the courage to bang on the door and waited apprehensively. Inside Ziva leapt off her sofa and ran towards the door, flinging it open. When she saw Tony the hope that had lit up her eyes disappeared instantly and her whole face dropped,

"Tony, I thought that you might have been . . ." she sighed angrily, "I don't want to fight with you now ok?" she turned back into her flat trying to swing her door closed but he put his foot in front of it pushing his way inside.

"I didn't come to fight more ok?"

"What do you want then?" she kept walking towards her living room with her back to him.

"I came to, I came to . . ." He stuttered, desperately trying to come up with an opening line, thinking he should have thought this through what he would say earlier. He sighed and flung his pizza onto her coffee table and spread his arms out in a placating gesture , "I'm sorry ok" she still didn't look at him so he lunged towards her, grabbing her arm to spin her round to face him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said. I shouldn't have been angry with you, I should have had more faith in you, I, I . . ." he grabbed her harder and looked pleadingly into her eyes, "I'm sorry, what can I do to? I'm sorry . . ." she turned her face away from him avoiding his eyes,

"It's ok" her voice was shaking slightly, he moved his hands from her arms to her neck, gently turning her face back round, her eyes had began to glisten again and she screwed up her face, annoyed that she was losing control of her emotions again.

"We're ok then?" his hands had slid up so her face now cupped in them, his thumbs stroking her cheeks gently. She nodded quickly and tried to free herself but he kept a firm hold. "Ziva, are you crying?" seeing her this fragile was scaring him, usually she was so strong, so tough, so sure of herself, the fact that maybe he was the reason for her pain was eating away at him.

"No, I am fine." she spoke with certainty but her nevertheless her eyes continued to well up,

"I'm sorry, just pl . . ." she smiled weakly and moved her hands up and wrapped them around his forearms.

"This is not your fault Tony," He flashed her an incredulous look, "well not entirely" she added. She stretched her smile out and pulled his arms off of her and brushed past him,

"oh no, no, no get back here you." he stuck an arm out, catching her round the waist and dragging her back and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I said that I am fine Tony." her voice was muffled against his shoulder.

"Ziva, you don't always have to hide from people, you don't always have to be tough and strong you know." He tightened the hug as he whispered in her ear, she had been stubbornly keeping her body rigid but finally melted into him. She slipped her arms around his waist and turned her head to bury her face against his neck. He could feel her warm breath tickle his skin and her hands slide up his back to his shoulders as she relaxed. Finally she straightened up.

"You see Tony I am fine, what kind of pizza is that? I'm starving!" he smiled and followed her to the sofa. They sat and ate their pizza in silence for a white until Tony cleared his throat,

"So, you uh . . . Killed Ari." he didn't know how to pose the question but he was desperate to know more about it. She didn't look at him but grunted yes and continued to chew he pizza. "Ziva, come on." she sighed and turned to him.

"I shot him, there is not much else to say."

"Well maybe you could you know, you could tell me about your feelings or something."

"I already did, I do not regret killing him." she was facing him but avoided eye contact. "But . . . But sometimes miss him. He used to be so, different." she sat back into the cushions and as she spoke she sounded almost wistful, "You know, I did not believe what you all said about him, about what he had done. Right up until when we were in Gibbs' basement, when he said. . ." her voice faded away. "You know I knew he hated our father I just did not realise just how much." she was silent for a while, picking away at her slice of pizza. "You know, we were going to meet in Paris after," the comment hung heavily in the air for a few moments, despite the strange bright tone she had used. "But instead I shot him, to save Gibbs," she added matter-of-factly.

"And Akim knows what he did?"

"Everyone has heard of what he did, even when I told him but he did not believe it, we fought for a long time last night." she flung a bit of crust back into the box, "Always he says that I am a traitor to work for Gibbs, but he always assumed that my father put me here, not that I asked to stay. But he found out yesterday, I do not know how but he did and he was very upset about it, called me a traitor."

"A traitor?"

"Yes, and a snake."

"A snake?"

"Yes Tony a snake. I think that it might be quite appropriate you know?"

"What? How?" he asked but she just took a swig of her rum, it was doing a wonderful job of loosening her tongue.

"Do you not think Tony, that the people we care about and care about us define our lives very much?" she seemed to have taken up a totally different topic, on which he wasn't quite sure he understood.

"Well yeah, I guess so." he said uncertainly.

"I think they do, they make us, us." Tony was becoming more and more confused, he had a feeling that she was trying, in her own way, to reveal a profound insight into her feelings and yet he couldn't quite grasp it yet. " I have lost a lot of people." she took another swig as he searched her face carefully, wondering where she was going with this. "Either they die, or disappear or sometimes I have to just leave them behind. The people around me that protect me, care for me, work with me I can just shed them the way the snake sheds its skin. I just always slither on." she made a slithering motion with her arm, twisting it back and forth before letting it fall to her side. "I had a lot of time to think about this today you see." she explained before adding spontaneously, "And of course, they are cold blooded just-like-me." she sighed deeply and shut her eyes.

"Ziva you are definitely not . .." Ziva's phone began to ring and she instantly leapt off the sofa and grabbed it up.

"Hello?" she was breathless with nervousness, "Oh, hi Nadine . . .oh right ok . . . No, no I am fine . . .yes ok usual time next week. . . Ok bye" she put it back down dejectedly, "It was not him."

"Who was it?"

"Just a friend from kick boxing, we usually run to our class together but she cannot come this week." she folded her arms and stared out the window. After a few moments Tony sighed and leaned,

"You know, he abandoned you to clear up his mess, gave you loads of a abuse for stopping a murderer, why are you so desperate that he forgive YOU?"

"Because he's my family, I said, he is the only one in the world that knows me completely, everything I have ever done and loves me anyway and, and, and," she stopped talking and flopped back onto the sofa next to him, closer than before so that their legs were touching. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she lent her head on it.

"I just want to speak to him, I do not even know where he is." she sighed as she stared at the ceiling.

"I'm sure he'll be in touch. . . And besides," he bent his arm at the elbow and brought his hand up to stroke her hair, "He is not the only one in the world that cares about you." she smiled and turned her face him.

"I know." she put her feet up on the coffee table, leaning her knees against his,

"Well good." he pulled her closer to him, she slipped an arm across his waist, nestled her head on his shoulder and they sat in contented silence for a while.

"You know, you could always tell me everything and then Akim wouldn't be the ONLY person in the whole world that knows you."

"I cannot do that."

"Why? Because you think it will make me think differently about you?"

"No because I cannot just go around telling everyone about my work."

"Hey I can keep a secret!" Tony exclaimed indignantly.

"Mmmm yes of course you can."

"I can! For example I'll keep it a secret that our big bad spy likes to snuggle." he squeezed her as his voice took on a high pitched, playful tone. She raised her head slightly , her lips practically touching his neck as she spoke

"Ha! If you did tell, no one would believe you." she laughed as she spoke, sliding her arm up his chest to his shoulder, he laughed wriggled and further into the sofa cushions, pulling her with him. They had only been sitting like this for about ten minutes until the phone rang again, again prompting Ziva to leap to her feet.

"Hello," she answered it and a few seconds later began speaking in rapid Hebrew and gesturing wildly in the air. She strode through to her room shutting the door behind her leaving him alone on the sofa, staring after her.