Silver and Scales

Chapter Eleven: The Monster Within

Odin had fallen into the Odinsleep, something that he had been putting off for quite some time; and the events of late had been a large burden upon his shoulders, so much that he had collapsed underneath the pressure of it all after Loki had discovered his true parentage. While Loki walked the guards and his unconscious father back to the All-Father's quarters, Vyperia disappeared from behind Loki's back to enter her bedroom. It was blanketed by the darkness from outside her windows. Night had fallen.

Vyperia gently closed the door, silent.

Her eyes were puffy from crying. She was sad to have seen Loki become outraged and hurt after finding out the truth. She was angry to have learned that although she had spoken the truth, Loki had thought that she had lied. Vyperia was shell-shocked after being frightened by Loki's rage. And now she was troubled at the drop of her king—the most powerful man in the nine realms lay helpless in his bed, as vulnerable as a mortal, in recovery.

She quietly disrobed and slipped under the covers of her sheets. The fabric was warm and comforting. While she lay in bed, her head upon soft pillows, she didn't fall asleep. Her eyes were wide open, despite their efforts to close under the tired feeling.

Her mind buzzed.

The Warriors Three and Lady Sif believed that Loki was a fool and a traitor. Thor was banished until he could prove that he was a worthy Asgardian. Odin lay powerless. Asgard was without a king. And her lover named her a liar, betrayed.

Vyperia emitted a crestfallen sigh.

She desired sleep so that she could erase what had happened. It felt like hours had passed.

Then the door slowly opened with the weakest of creaks. Cat-like footfalls could barely be heard inside; then the door slowly closed with a soft click. Vyperia raised her hand to her cheeks to quickly wipe away stray tears.

"Vyperia."

Loki's voice said her name through the quiet barrier. It was calm, tepid, and gentle. He intended to speak to her if she was awake; but if she was asleep, he wouldn't wake her. Vyperia's stomach clenched with anxiety, but she was warmed by his presence—he came by her bedroom, of his way. She felt the shift of the weight beside her, and Loki's body climbed in to lay next to her, even though she lay still, motionless.

By the sound of how he slid into bed, Vyperia sensed that he was dressed down from his light armor to his personal attire.

Vyperia sighed, sounding as if she had not had a restful sleep since the beginning of time. Loki looked at her from his perception; and his expression explained his mortal understanding of how the day's events had impacted her. When she didn't acknowledge his presence, when she did nothing even to merely look at him; Loki set a hand on her arm...

"Vyperia, turn to me?"

Upon his voice was a soft request.

Without looking at him, without turning to his direction, she answered.

"I'm sorry," she said through her broken voice.

"Look at me."

She turned over on her side. Loki lay beside her, his head propped up by the support of his elbow. His eyes that had shined with anger before, now were kind and docile.

He smiled at her when she recanted. Loki gazed down at her shining face for a lingering moment. His hand at his side drew to her face and caressed her cheek; his thumb tenderly wiped away the wetness on her jawline. As if he had registered that she had been crying, he leaned forward and lightly kissed her forehead. Her heated skin met his lips; it was the equal sensation of a damp washcloth easing the burning heat of a fever.

They spoke not a word for a minute.

"Mother said," Loki began in a low, tremulous voice, "that when you were old enough to comprehend my father's will, you pleaded with him to tell me the truth; that, against your will, you were sworn to say nothing to me about this.

"Vyperia," he said, meeting her eyes, "I thought that you had betrayed me. How could you have possibly kept this a secret for this long?"

"I wanted to tell you, in the garden—I tried," Vyperia said. "I was guilt-ridden. I thought that you would soon come to learn of it; and when I saw your face when we were fighting the Frost Giants...I already knew that you had assumed the worst."

"The worst..." Loki repeated quietly. "So you think...the same thing as I do?"

Vyperia's eyes widened. She shook her head. Her hands embraced his fingers that had trailed her cheek with sympathetic grace, imploring him to understand.

"No, no, Loki, no, you are not a monster," she said through a strained whisper.

Loki's gaze disagreed with her.

"You are an Asgardian," she said strongly. "You're one of us. You're like me."

"Yes," said Loki, "but you were born an Asgardian."

"It makes no difference; you are loved by them. Frigga still loves you. I still love you. You are not one of them, Loki. You're an Asgardian prince, even if the blood that runs through your veins is Jotun."

"That collected, calm voice..." Loki said contemplatively, his eyes immersed into her complacent gaze. "You are trying so desperately to stay my belief as strongly as you do. This revelation, this truth..it changes everything. It explains a lot, actually."

Vyperia's expression fell from kind hope to one of silent regret.

"You should never have found out about this," she muttered. "I should never have told you."

"Vyperia..."

"If I hadn't, would you doubt your worth to Asgard, your father's love, your mother's—"

Loki pressed a single finger against her opened lips. She looked at him, startled, but something in his face stayed her loud thoughts. His finger lowered from her mouth to tenderly cross her chin.

"If you had not told me," Loki told her in a low, serious voice, "I would not have come to call on you tonight."

"You would have resented me?" she asked quietly.

"I know why you kept silent all these years." Loki told her. "Mother has told me why, and I understand; but do not believe that this gives my father any reason to be forgiven for what he did. I should have died that day, and he took me. All these years, he has reasoned his explanation through compassion and love; his purpose to keep me in Asgard was an act of war."

"Do you mean to tell me that you resent Odin for what he did?" asked Vyperia gently.

"I do. It explains why he favored Thor. Well, does it not?"

"Your mother—"

"Mother loved us both—loves—us both," Loki said.

He straightened to sit against the headboard of Vyperia's bed. She followed suit to sit next to him.

"I should be glad that Odin took me from Jotunheim, but isn't it obvious that—if Asgard and Jotunheim had not been at war—he would have left me there to die? Who wants a Frost Giant living in Asgard...?"

"I do." Vyperia answered.

Loki's face didn't switch to warmth as she had expected it would; instead, he hardened. Loki looked at her as if she had tried to lighten the situation with an ill-timed joke. The silence between them acknowledged that Loki was, in all matter of word, gravely serious about what had happened. Vyperia uttered a small sigh.

"Loki, I have known about Laufey—about you—about Jotunheim for ages; and I have never swayed my loyalty to you for someone whose birthright was as golden as Thor's. But Thor is exiled, and you are here. If your father truly despised you, would he not have sent you to Midgard with Thor since you had agreed to accompany Thor to Jotunheim?"

"You speak in theory, Vyperia."

"I speak with logical rationale, as should you," she reasoned, turning to him. "A thousand years of parenting cannot be subsided for one fact alone."

"It would be better if Jotunheim was off the face of Yggdrasil."

Vyperia stared at him.

What he was suggesting was something that had never been done in history. Midgardians committed genocide on their planet everyday; even the Dark Elves held lust for sacrificed lives for a grand purpose. However, Loki wanted the entire planet to be gone...to slaughter an entire race. Vyperia's silence turned Loki's eyes to her as if he was challenging her loyalties. His soft voice, his gentle expressions—they solidified to a persona whose eyes watched her with caution.

He waited for her rebuttal. He waited for her to disagree with him.

As a Goddess of Guardianship, it was her duty to lie down the law when it came to the safety of all humanoids. Vyperia's stunned expression was enough to pull a smirk on Loki's face. He waited for her to answer him, for a reply that would be suitable. If she was truly loyal to him, why would he have to adhere to her argument?

"Loki," she said slowly, "you must know the repercussions to even mention genocide..."

"It's a race of monsters, Vyperia," he said smoothly. "For years, they have bargained for grandeur; they would kill my father with little encouragement if they should get close enough. It would be simple to wage war against them."

"War results in one party victorious and the other defeated, but still alive, Loki," Vyperia defined with cautious purpose. "How could this ease your acknowledgment of the truth?"

"Why the sudden love for the Frost Giants, Vyperia?"

"It's not love," she said softly, deterring his assumption. "It's not hate, either. The Frost Giants have suffered through the devastation that Odin caused them years ago. They want the Casket of Ancient Winters to heal what Odin destroyed during the war. Their planet slowly breaks apart while the Asgardians congratulate the appointment of a new king. Laufey fights for his race as Odin fights for ours."

"Yours." Loki corrected her.

She looked at him, desperate to make him see that there was no difference between he and Vyperia.

"Am I so like them that you must make it clear?" she asked him, hurt. "Am I just like the Asgardians that you must point it out? We are alike, Loki. We are equals. Love makes us so."

"Love..." Loki muttered. The word seemed like poison on his tongue, and Vyperia's eyes narrowed at the sudden distaste on his voice.

"Yes," she said, her annoyance wavering, "Love."

"It makes us different," said Loki.

"You are wrong," she said blatantly.

Loki looked at her.

"I am not like all the Asgardians, and you know that. Many here on Asgard claim to be some of my best friends; but I know what they really think of me. A goddess," she said with burning resentment, "has no reason to hold powers that would poison those around her. I know that many think that I am a snake in a sheep's clothing. It is always clear during those parties, festivities, that they attempt to manipulate my appearance to one that is accepted by others."

"Is this why we are not so different, Vyperia?" drawled Loki. "Because you do not match the guidelines of the other women around you?"

"Have you ever compared me to the other women, Loki?" she retorted nastily. "They have this beautiful strength and stamina that I couldn't possibly hope to afford. They all fight with dignity and a lust for battle with weapons and elegant armor...and I turn into a monster whose main powers are to kill those around me. It's disgusting.

"I don't wear armor, Loki. My skin crawls away and scales replace it. I don't tip my arrows with mixed potions; all I have to do is spit on mine, and it's a lethal concoction that could seal a man's life within three minutes..."

Loki observed Vyperia as she listed her powers and abilities, naming them to be less beautiful and strong as the others. He was between amusement and damnation as she bashed herself to a creature whose own defense mechanisms were pitiable and antagonistic.

She heaved a sigh and shook her head.

"I'm a goddess, not because I deserve it...I was born with it. Do you know how irritating it is to not take sides? I have to be unbiased for the good of all the Nine realms. The slightest hint of loyalty switches could bear me unworthy of the title of a goddess of guardianship..."

She fell into silence. Loki glanced down into her lap where her hands wrung together in a state of melted agony and self-resentment. He sighed. His hands clasped hers consolingly.

"Your armor is convenient," he told her without meeting her eyes, "and is stronger than the skin of the sea serpent that occupies Midgard's waters. It is vital to your survival, and you do not depend on a blacksmith to forge it."

Vyperia looked at him. The sad frown on her face turned to a smile.

"Your fighting style welcomes agility and stealth, and it does not rely heavily on brute strength and a warrior's mentality. This monster that lives inside you becomes your most lethal weapon; it is frightening and beautiful at the same time. My favorite animal so happens to be a cobra, for that particular reason. Nobody questions your ability to secrete venom because it is miraculous while at the same time possessing some disturbing effects. And I have always liked your prehensile tongue."

He finally met her eyes, and she was almost glowing.

"You make yourself out to be a monster," said Loki, "but what hides in your skin is power."

"That is why we are not so different, love," Vyperia told him gently.

He looked at her momentarily.

"You do not have to kill an entire race," said Vyperia.

"And if I did," he said, "would you stop me?"

She hesitated.

The mere challenge in his voice stopped her soft plea. She must have searched his eyes for several minutes before answering him. It was as if she were stepping toward a precipice; and she would have to decide whether to stand back or jump off the edge. Vyperia made a weak smile.

"No."

Loki looked at her carefully.

"No? Why not?"

"As much as I care for my primal instincts as a goddess, I care for you more."

"And what if your punishment sent you one way and I, the other?" asked Loki curiously. "If we were separated, would this impact your decision, Vyperia? Would you search for me?"

"I'd search the world for you."

"And if I never came to find you?"

Loki noticed her face cringe from this hypothetical question; it was the smallest of motions, but he saw it in her eyes.

"I would wait there, hoping against all odds that you would return to me if even to explain that you couldn't take me back home."

Loki's expression was clear. He wasn't expecting such an honest answer.

Loki leaned forward.

Vyperia made a small noise as his lips touched hers in a passionate union.

His "I love you" didn't need to be said, for she already knew that this was what he meant.