Cracka-Doom!
This train is bound for glory, this train. This train is bound for glory, this train. This train is dis-track-ted...
-----
Schedule: Doomtrain
Arrives: Whenever
Departure: After arrival
Destination: Where ever you desire!
Fare: FREE!
Warning! Side effects of riding on this vehicle may include and are not limited to the following: Nausea, loss of voice, loss of sight, loss of health, fatigue, broken limbs and death.
It is rumored that several passengers who took the Doomtrain Express were never seen again. These are uncomfirmed at present, however. Also, Doomtrain gets lost along the road of life, so there is no guarantee that he'll get you to your destination in a timely fashion. All other considerations aside, it's suggested that you trust to your feet to follow the tracks instead of hitching a ride on this monstrosity...
-----
Notes: Doomtrain cannot talk - hence why he doesn't get to narrate this. I thought a flyer would do him justice. In game reference to Squall... anyone see it? ^^