Catalyst
"Mommy!" Tuck called out.
"Miranda!" Ben said loudly. "The game starting at noon doesn't mean we leave at noon."
"I'm coming. I'm coming," she told them. She took one last look in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of dark, purple jeans, a gray sweater and her most comfortable shoes, a pair of gray flats. Miranda nodded, picked up her purse off of the dresser and walked out of her bedroom.
After locking up the house, she looked around to see Ben and Tuck running around the front yard. The six-foot Ben was trying to hide between their cars, staying low as Tuck chased. Miranda smiled. They were having so much fun. She went to her car and pulled out Tuck's booster seat. Once they were ready to go, Ben turned on the radio. Tuck danced and squirmed in the backseat as the music played. The trip to the recreation center in Bellevue was only supposed to take twenty minutes at the most, but they spent an additional fifteen minutes in traffic. "Am I going to miss my game?" Tuck asked. His face was full of concern and he looked adorable.
"We'll—" Miranda started.
"You will make it to your game on time, Tuck. I promise. Even if I have to put you on my back," Ben said looking at the boy in the rearview mirror, making him laugh. They finally arrived at the rec center. The parking lot was overflowing. Ben let them out at the front and he went to find parking. Tuck's team took the court and started to warm up. Tuck was the youngest on his 8 and under basketball team. On his traveling team, the skill level of the players was pretty much elite. Tuck got a few minutes, but definitely not as much as he did on his other team. The coach kept him on the team so that he could gain experience. Miranda told all of this to Ben as the game started. He put his arm around her waist and moved it only to clap and gesture rowdily at the officials. At halftime, with the score being tied at 20, Ben got up and went to get them some food from the concession stand. Miranda watched her son; she could see that he was starting to zone out of the game because he hadn't gotten in yet. She wanted to go and give her son a pep talk, but she didn't want to lose their great seats. She looked around for Ben; he should have been back by now. Her eyes landed on him, he was standing on the sideline talking to her son. Her eyes squinted and she tried to read Ben's lips. When Ben walked away from Tuck, Tuck had a smile on his face. "That line was long as hell, Miranda," Ben said kissing her cheek.
"Mmmhm… what did you say to him?"
"To Tuck?" She nodded. "I just told him that he shouldn't get discouraged. And to stay positive." Ben pulled out a pack of gum and held the pack out for her.
Miranda took a piece and folded it into her mouth. "Thanks."
"For what?" He said as the officials blew their whistles.
"For the gum. And for talking to Tuck."
"I remember being that kid at the end of the bench, getting water for everyone," he said putting his arm back around her body. She leaned into him and he kissed the top of her head. "Look!" He pointed towards the game.
Miranda erected her posture and looked to where Ben was pointing; Tuck was running out onto the court. A chorus of "Awwws" came from the bleachers as the three year old strolled onto the court confidently. Miranda started clapping loudly. Her child looked like an ant among lions on the court. The first time on defense, he defended a boy a foot taller than him. Tuck tipped the ball away from the kid and Tuck's teammate ran to get, making an easy layup. With Tuck in the game, the Knights went up by 10 points. Near the end of the game, Tuck's team was ahead by 5. "3, 2, 1!" The buzzer sounded and the game was over. Ben and Miranda high-fived. They turned around and high-fived the other parents in the stands. Once the bleachers emptied, they sat down and waited for Tuck to be finished.
He ran over to them, sweat pouring down his face. Miranda made a mental note to buy him a headband. "We won!"
"I know!" Miranda said wiping a space on his forehead free of sweat and kissing him. "You were great. Great defense!" She hugged him. She was so proud of him, she wanted to cry.
"Coach said I was why we beat the other team," Tuck said. He smiled a big smile.
"Your coach is right," Ben said. "I'd say you were the MVP of that game." Miranda nodded in agreement.
They didn't see a man approach them. "Dr. Bailey, right?" The guy said. Miranda looked up to see Tuck's traveling team coach, Donald Brooks. A very young and enthusiastic Black man.
"Yes. Coach Brooks," Miranda held out her hand.
"Call me Donnie." Miranda smiled. "Um, I sent Tucker a message. The second game was postponed until next weekend. So, I thought I'd take the team to Jump Heaven." Miranda saw Tuck's face light up. "As a treat. You know, they played really well today."
"Yes!" Tuck shouted.
"What's Jump Heaven?" Miranda asked.
"Oh, it's an indoor trampoline arena," Donnie said. He glanced at Ben quickly.
"And Donnie, this is my boyfriend, Ben. Ben, this is Donnie, Tuck's coach."
"Great game, man," Ben said as they shook hands.
"All thanks to this guy here," Donnie answered rubbing Tuck's head. Miranda laughed. "So yeah, Jump Heaven? You guys in? I'm asking because I need to call ahead and tell them how many are coming."
"Okay. Well, how—'
"Don't worry. It's on me," Donnie answered.
"Then if Tuck wants to go…"
"Yes!" Tuck said kissing her cheek. "Please, mommy!"
She looked over at Ben who cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "I guess we're going to Jump Heaven."
"Nice!" Donnie said putting his hands in his pockets. "You can follow us over." The coach walked away.
Miranda turned to Tuck. "This is not your bag. Go and find the one with your name in it. One of your teammates probably picked it up by accident." Tuck ran towards his teammates. She watched as the kids looked through the bags and sorted everything out. Tuck ran back over and the three of them walked out of the gym. Tuck ran ahead a little. "Stay close, William George!" Ben took her hand and squeezed it. Miranda smiled. "And you," Miranda said looking at Ben out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm sure you have other things to do on this fine Sunday. Better things. And it's okay with me, and with Tuck, if you go and do those things." She stopped walking. "It's important to me that you don't feel obligated to hang around me and my child all day. I don't want to—I don't want to stop you from doing your own thing."
"I am good," Ben responded simply. "I don't have anywhere to be other than where I am now. Now if you want me to go, just say that."
"I don't."
"Perfect. So I'll continue to hold your hand." He leaned in to kiss her cheek and then her lips quickly. "And another thing."
"Hmm?"
"I'm not just 'hanging around' with you guys. I'm building a relationship with you and creating a bond with Tuck." Miranda licked her lips. "If you're doing that because you want me to want to kiss you, it's working." She laughed as Ben kissed her lips, sliding his arms around her waist. Her arms positioned themselves around his neck.
"Eww! Mommy! Ben!" Tuck said. Miranda and Ben opened their eyes and looked down at the boy. "Kissing is gross."
"It's not!" Miranda said with a smile.
"It's how I show your mom that I love her," Ben said as they got into the car.
As they followed the long line of cars, Tuck asked: "How do my mommy show you that she loves you?"
"Well, she, uh—" At a red light, Ben looked at Miranda and winked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "She kisses me and hugs me and she even told me one time."
Her mouth dropped open. "I told you twice."
"Just two times!" Tuck laughed. "That's not enough."
"You just shush!" Miranda said turning around and making a face at her son.
"I agree, buddy," Ben said turning down a street. "I don't even know if she really loves me!" Miranda shot a look at her boyfriend. He took one hand off of the wheel and reached out for her. She moved closer to her door. "It's like that?" He asked.
Miranda didn't answer. "She loves you, Ben. Right, mommy?" Tuck said. She nodded. "You have to say it to him." Tuck stopped talking. "Tell him!"
"Okay. Okay," Miranda said holding up both hands. "I love you, Ben Warren." Her hands went to her hot cheeks.
"Was that so hard?" Ben said out of the corner of his mouth.
"Yes, mommy! Was that so hard?" Tuck echoed.
"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side," Miranda told him.
"I am!" Tuck said giggling loudly. Arriving at Jump Heaven, Tuck hopped out of the car and ran inside.
As Miranda started to get out of the car, her phone rang. It was Tucker. "Hello?"
"Hey, Mandy."
"Tucker," Miranda said.
"I'm on my way to Jump Heaven. Donnie texted me."
"H-how'd it go?"
"I think I'm on track to being promoted."
"That's good."
"Yeah."
"So I'll see you when you get here," she told him wrapping up the conversation. He said that he would and she disconnected the call. Ben and Miranda walked inside of the trampoline arena.
"Do you want to stay?" Ben asked her.
"Yes, sure." She hoped that he couldn't hear the lie in her voice. She did want to stay and watch her son enjoy himself, but she also wanted to go home and relax a little bit more before she had to go back to the hospital the next morning. "Do you?"
"Um, not really." Ben leaned closer to her. "I'd much rather be watching a movie with my girl." Ben put a suggestive hand on her lower back.
"Great! Then as soon as Tucker gets here, we can go." Ben nodded firmly. Miranda slipped out of his grasp and wandered off. Through the crowd of people taking off their shoes, she could see her child interacting with his older counterparts. There was something to be said about his maturity level. He just felt so comfortable around kids who were a little older. Miranda stared at him and caught his attention. She waved him over and explained that she and Ben would be leaving when his father showed up.
"Daddy!"
"Yes, when your daddy gets here," she said nodding.
"No, daddy is behind you," Tuck said pointing.
Miranda turned around and saw Tucker coming in through the door. She smiled at her son. "Oh! Right. Well, then. Give me a kiss and go back to your friends. I'll see you tomorrow." Tuck stood on his toes and hugged her. She kissed the top of head. Tuck ran away, catching up to his teammates. Her heart ached a little as Tuck left without looking back. There used to be a time when he would cry when he had to leave or when she left. Now—She felt a hand on her shoulder bringing her to her reality. She could tell from the weight of the hand that it was Tucker's and not Ben's. She tried to remember Tucker's best qualities and not the ones he'd displayed earlier.
"Mandy," Tucker said.
Her eyes found his. "Hello, Tucker."
Miranda looked up to see Ben walking towards them. "Miranda?"
"Yeah?" She answered.
"Is everything alright, baby?" Ben said putting an arm around her waist.
Tucker looked taken aback. "Can we talk?" Tucker asked lowering his voice.
Miranda gestured at Ben. "Well, Ben and I were just about to leave."
"That's cool, but I really… I just really need to talk to you," Tucker said looking from Ben to Miranda.
"Miranda?" Ben said.
"It's okay." She inhaled. Part of her was thinking: Absolutely not. She didn't owe him anything, especially after what he'd said to her. The other half was thinking that she should give him a chance. Miranda bumped her body gently against her boyfriend's. She looked up briefly to see a small smile cross his face. Ben walked away. "Uh, sure, Tucker." Tucker nodded and ushered her to an unexpectedly quiet place near a few vending machines. Miranda sat down on the bench in front of the machines. "So?"
Tucker put a hand up. "I am—I'm not like that." She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. "You know me." She nodded. "You know how I really am. The… the real me. I was just stressed and out of my mind. And I'm sorry. I tried to take advantage of your graciousness and I got carried away. It was mistake." Miranda watched him; sure that he would scratch his head. Then, she'd be able to catch him in a lie. But he didn't move a muscle. "I know you're with Ben. And you two really like each other."
"I love him," Miranda responded. She spoke confidently.
Tucker's eyes flickered. He breathed deeply. "Yes, of course. And you love him and that was my fault. I wanted to get you back, but I'm sorry. Especially if I caused any wrinkles in your relationship." Miranda fidgeted with her cell phone to keep from smiling. When she looked back at the man in front of her, she was relieved. She was glad that he finally understood that she'd moved on, glad that he finally understood that she was happy and hoped that he knew that she wished him happiness, too. It wasn't easy to find, but when you found it, it was the most remarkable feeling. Tucker's eyes landed on her and then he gave a head nod to someone behind her. She twisted her body. "Ben. Man, I don't know you, but you have some pretty big balls stepping to me like that." Ben didn't show any emotion. Tucker sighed. "And if Miranda loves you and Tuck loves you, then you must be a pretty great guy." Ben smiled, throwing his head back a little. Tucker stood up and shook hands with Ben. She compared the men. Both were about the same complexion. Ben, while shorter, was just as muscular as Tucker. Also, they both had facial hair and Ben's was neatly trimmed and Tucker had taken the time to shave and looked a lot younger and less wild than he did before. "Mandy?" The sound of Tucker's voice made her look around. What part of the conversation had she missed? "So, I'll drop the boy off at school tomorrow and you'll pick him up?"
"Yes."
"Good."
"And about the other thing we talked about."
"It's water under the thing or whatever," Miranda said quickly, waving her hand. Tucker and Ben laughed her. Tucker held out her arms and she walked into them. He held her for a second before releasing her. He smiled, turned on his heels and was gone.
"What was that all about?" Ben asked as soon as Tucker was out of ear shot.
"Letting bygones be bygones," she told him. "And I think we just unofficially got divorced." The conversation that she and Tucker had was a declaration of their divorce. She had moved on and he needed to do the same. She didn't say anymore because the rest was irrelevant. And Ben didn't pry, which she really appreciated. He put his arm around her neck as they walked back to the car. In the car, she said: "So w-what are you doing for the rest of the day?"
"Hanging with my lady," he answered as he deftly pulled out of the park.
"You can go home."
Ben nodded. "Not this again," he grumbled.
"So—"
Ben pulled checked his mirrors and stopped the car in front of a pizza shop. He put on his hazard lights. He took his hands off of the wheel and put them on his thighs. "Do you want me to leave, Miranda?" His voice was more than icy.
"No, Ben," she said facing him. He gave her a second. "I just don't want you to feel…" She stopped talking. How was she going to finish her sentence in a way that didn't make her sound absolutely insane?
"Trapped?" He offered.
Miranda licked her lips. "Something along those lines."
"I don't feel trapped," he said.
"Good."
"But if you want me to go home, say that. I can't read your mind."
Miranda spoke softly: "I-I… I don't."
"Good. Am I overwhelming you with my presence?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
She nodded and watched his face fall. "But I like it." Miranda grabbed his hand. Ben touched her face, running his thumb across her lips. He made a small noise before he put his hands back on the wheel, concentrating on the road.
"I know you can't compare eras," Miranda said as she unlocked the door to her house. "But Magic and Bird would be game-changers in any era. They're the best."
"True. So you don't think Lebron's skills would translate in the 80s or 90s?" Ben asked closing the door behind them. They'd been talking basketball as they made their way back to her house. Each of them was carrying a bag of groceries. Going into the kitchen, they continued the conversation. "He wouldn't make a difference?"
"I mean, he's an… he's an ox, but he'd crack under that 80s pressure. Every team was good, not just a few good teams here and there." Ben nodded, conceding her point. Miranda put her bag on the table. They'd gone to the supermarket and picked up some ground beef, buns and cheese. Burgers were on the menu. They were her favorite thing to eat and make. She turned on the stove and began heating up the pan. Miranda sorted through the bags and pulled out the needed ingredients. Ben had gone to the bathroom. As she mixed up the ground beef with her favorite seasonings, she molded them and was about to drop them into the hot pan when she heard her cell phone ringing from her purse in the living room. Apollo 440. Miranda took a deep breath.
"It's the hospital," Ben said bringing her the phone.
She wiped her hands and took it from him. "Bailey."
"Uh, Dr. Bailey?"
"What is it, Karev?" Miranda looked over at Ben who just smiled and shook his head.
"The Shelley boy."
"Michael."
"He's refusing to have the gastrectomy. He's thinking about leaving the hospital today. The nurses are getting him the AMA form right now. His sisters are freaking out. They demanded that I call you."
Miranda put her head down. "I'll be there shortly."
"You're coming in?" Karev asked. He sounded so surprised.
"Do I have a choice?"
"He's old enough. You can let the dumb kid make the decision himself."
"Exactly," Miranda said turning off the stove.
"Exactly what?"
"He's just a kid." She disconnected the call and started to put the raw meat in the refrigerator. The burgers would have to wait. She didn't really mind that, she'd just eaten breakfast not too long ago. Quality time with her boyfriend would have to wait as well. And that she did mind. Miranda didn't know when she'd get to spend that much uninhibited time with Ben. She sighed deeply. "I have to go in," she said through gritted teeth. She didn't mind helping her patients; to the contrary, she loved helping them. She'd given up so much for past patients and ones she hadn't even met yet. But, today, she just wanted to be in the company of her boyfriend. To stare at him and feel him and be touched by him. She swallowed. "I know we have plans—"
"Your patients are important. I understand that."
Miranda let out a small laugh. "You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad? You're practically a superhero." Ben smiled at her. She returned it. She moved closer to him, settling her arms around his waist. He leaned down to kiss her, his tongue sliding stealthily into her mouth. He put his fingers on her belt loops and drew her body closer. She felt his hands eased down her butt. He grabbed her butt and pushed her into the wall of her kitchen. She moaned deeply as he began kissing down her body.
"No, no, no, no, no," she said quickly. Her hands pushed him away.
"Just one more," he said kissing her chest and then her neck. Ben turned her around and placed his arms on the wall in front of her. Then, he placed kisses behind her ear. Miranda shuddered, goose bumps forming on her body.
"Alright," she whined, spinning back around in his arms. "I really have to go."
"I'll come with you."
She shook her head. "You stay here. I'll be back."
"You trust me alone in your house?" Ben asked with a smirk.
Miranda closed her eyes for a second, a smile etching across her face. "Yes, I do."
He nodded. "Do you want me to get started on the burgers?"
"You can."
"So noncommittal." Ben shook his head at her. "But I am a little tired, someone kept me up all night long." She scoffed. "So, do you mind if I sleep on your bed?"
"Sure," Miranda responded looking at the time. She really needed to go. "Um, so, yeah. I shall be back."
Miranda kissed his cheek and left. On her way to the hospital, her mother called. She answered the call through her Bluetooth system. "Hello?" Her mother's voice said flooding her car.
"Hey, Momma," Miranda turning onto the highway. "How have you been?"
"I've been good."
"How was church?"
"Oh! Church was great! Pastor talked about living by faith in an uncertain world."
Miranda nodded. "Amen."
"Watch it, girl," her mother said.
Miranda laughed to herself. "Sorry, momma."
"He asked about you, too."
Miranda scrunched up her face. "Who? The pastor?"
"Yes, Pastor. He remembers you and he always asks how you're doing." Miranda pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. "I keep telling him that you're too busy to come and visit your folks. And that it's gonna take one of us dying before you get your hind parts back on this side of the country."
"Momma!" Miranda said laughing. "Please don't say that! I will get out there as soon as I can, but you guys can come and see me and Tuck anytime." She nodded. Saying that put the ball in their court. It would be more convenient for her if her parents visited her instead of her flying out there to them.
"Yeah, sure," her mother said sarcastically. "So you can ignore us while you doctor people?"
"Elena! Is that our long-lost daughter?" Miranda heard her father ask.
She smiled widely and got out of the car. "Hi, Daddy."
"Hey, baby!" William said.
"Daddy, tell your wife that you two should get out here."
"Are you inviting us?"
"Yes," Miranda said walking through the automatic doors.
"Alright then. I'll see what we can do."
"Okay. I have to go. I love you guys." They said that they loved her, too. Miranda quickly changed into her navy blue scrubs and headed towards the Shelley's room. She caught her resident, Alex Karev, right outside of the door.
"Dr. Bailey," he said holding out the chart for her.
"Karev. What are you doing on this case?"
"Grey and Yang are both with Altman fixing some guy's heart," Alex responded bitterly. Miranda nodded.
"Where's Michael?"
"Right here," a deep voice said. The surgeons turned around to see a tired young man. "Hey… Dr. Bailey."
"Michael," she said gesturing him inside of the room. Michael was dressed in a loose pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. "How are you doing?"
"Honestly, Dr. Bailey, I'm ready to go home." She smiled a little. "Can I go home?"
"You're over the age of 18. You can sign the papers, go home and live a, eh, somewhat normal life."
"But?"
"Look, you know the consequences. Your sister has been preaching to you about your family's condition and—"
"You're here to change my mind."
"Oh, no! I'm here to make sure that you're making the right decision. For you."
Michael pointed at Karev. "This guy told me that if I don't have the surgery, I could drop dead; that the cancer would eventually eat me up inside."
Miranda shot a glaring look to her resident who looked away sheepishly, his face red. "Truth is, Michael, you could fall seriously ill at your next fraternity meeting or while you're at the gym."
"Or on your operating table."
"Or on my table," she repeated. Miranda looked him in the eyes. She wanted to know how sincere she was. "But I promise—I promise that I will do my very best."
Michael licked his lips and stared at her. "I'm scared." She nodded. "But don't tell my sisters that."
Karev scoffed. "Dude, they already know."
Miranda smiled and shook her head, looking at Michael who had a smile on his own face. "And you'll take good care of my sisters if…" His voice trailed off.
"Let me just focus on you, okay?" She asked him.
Michael nodded and scooted back on the bed, laying back. "Cut me open, Dr. Bailey."
She moved around the bed and touched his hand. "Alright. We'll schedule it for tomorrow morning." He nodded, a tear falling from his eyes onto the hospital bed. She walked out of the room with Karev behind her. "Um, watch over him tonight."
"Okay," the resident answered with a grimace.
"Pay attention to his mental state, please?" Usually she was demanding of her residents. The work that they did was of the utmost importance. She was the best, which made them the best. But sometimes a little gentleness didn't hurt. "And be nice." Karev give a tiny smile, took the file she was holding and walked away. Miranda took a very, deep breath and headed back towards the attending locker room. Miranda pulled off her shirt when her pager beeped loudly. She knew that sound. There was an emergency and all hands were needed. She slipped back into her shirt, grabbed her lab coat and jogged out of the locker room, checking her phone. Ben had sent her a couple of text messages saying that he'd gotten the message about the emergency, he was on his way to the hospital and wanted to know how should he lock the door. I have a spare key in the kitchen taped to the side of the refrigerator. Miranda pulled her hair back and put on her light blue, floral-printed scrub cap. She listened to the instructions of Chief Webber while cracking her knuckles. It seemed like such a long time that she'd been in an OR and she was ready for some action.
"Next!" Miranda said coming out of her OR. She'd just finished with a patient who was being wheeled to the recovery wing of the hospital. An accident at a local construction site caused multiple traumas and there seemed to be almost as many patients as there surgeons to help them. She looked down the hallway and saw Richard handing out orders. "Chief! I'm finished. Next patient." She pulled off her facemask and stared at him, waiting for her next instructions.
"Great," he said looking over at Patricia, his assistant, who was holding a clipboard with patients' name on them. "Last patient is OR 3, Seven Williams. He's got peritonitis, probably from a perf in the bowel." Miranda nodded and listened intently. "Head CT shows a probable TBI. Neuro has been called for a consult."
"Yes, sir," she said walking across the hall to her next patient.