They're in the pool. He's touching her. His long fingers are grazing her back tenderly, moving back and forth across the same area, over and over again.

I don't like it.

He's shirtless. His only piece of clothing is swim trunks. Which show off his lean, yet tone built.

His blue eyes shine in the sunlight, his smile is full and true and his hair is wet from the water and messy as always.

He is absolutely mesmerizing and he doesn't even know it.

I'm hard and panting from my lounge chair. My seat just so happens to be right in front of the lovey dovey couple in the pool.

My sister laughs as Edward playfully tickles her pale skin. In response, she reaches up and kisses him. He is hesitant when her lips first meet his but he quickly grows bold and strong bringing her body closer to his own flesh.

My panting grows heavier but this time, it's not from horniness. It's from pain.

It hurts to watch them act this way together. It hurts to see how happy my sister makes Edward with barley lifting a finger. It hurts that he is ignoring my presence as if I don't even exist.

I curse under my breath about the sun being in my fuckin eyes and how it feels like a sauna before heading back inside.

But the sun has nothing to do with my departure.

Yes it is bright and hot outside but that's not why I leave.

I leave because I can't stand to look at them any longer. I feel my heart spasming in my chest and it fuckin hurts. I feel like I'm having a heart attack but I know differently.

I slam my bedroom door shut in annoyance with the scene at the pool and with myself. I hate what I have become, who I am. I don't know how I got here or how to change.

I expect Edward to coming running to me any minute now, noticing I left.

But he doesn't, know one comes.

I suddenly have a flash of what my future could hold. I'm alone, utterly and painfully alone and Bella has everything she has ever wanted, a husband, children, a dog, a house, and even a fuckin picketed fence.

I feel my chest heaving as tiny sobs come from my mouth. I cover my eyes with my hands blocking the tears as much as I can.

I can hear my sister's and Edward's laughter echo down the hall. I swear I can even here there lips locking.

I groan, flipping over on my stomach pulling a pillow over my head as an attempt to try to block the imaginary sounds coming from my head. The sound I expect to hear soon, pants and moans and creaks from Bella's bed.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here at all, I tell myself forcing my body to sleep.

I later wake up to a hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. For a moment I imagined it is him. But I know better. The rhythm and weight is all off.

"Jasper, are you okay?"

It's Alice. Fuck, why does she have to come now, perfect fuckin timing. I suppose I could bang her senseless and pretend I don't feel anything, that all is fine like I often do.

I can't, I don't want to pretend anymore.

I remove my pillow fixing my dissolved clothes and messy hair.

"My god, were you crying?" She gasps.

I'm sure my eyes are bloodshot. I don't care that Alice sees me vulnerable or what she is thinking at the moment. I only care about one thing.

I get up without saying a word, heading to Bella's room, wanting answers.

"Jasper!" Alice calls out behind me.

I quickly make my way to Bella's bed room, pushing the door open. I freeze in my spot as does Edward, who is zipping his fly up. I look down to see Edwards swim trunks on the ground and to find my sister's bed sheets are a tangled mess.

It doesn't take a genius to know what has happened. I should be mad that Edward broke his promise to me of not touching my sister but I'm not, I'm hurt.

"Jasper?" Bella questions as she comes out of her bathroom, now fully dressed.

I glance over at Edward's shameful looking eyes before heading out and grabbing Alice's hand.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"Your place?" I state as if I'm on a mission.

I lay naked next to Alice on her bed, feeling like utter shit.

After making out until our mouths were sore and needed a rest, Alice worked on our clothes, impatient to move on to the next level. I lay still on the bed trying to control my breathing as well as my emotions as Alice yanked and tugged and created a pile of our clothes on her floor.

Her mouth went to work on my neck as her hands went to work on my dick. Her forehead cringed when she realized her efforts were a lost caused. I was not aroused in the slightest.

Once she realized her efforts were in vain she let out a sigh, covering herself with a blanket and took a spot next to me lying back on her bed.

Now here we are staring at the ceiling, with Alice too afraid to voice what is so painfully obvious and with me just wanting to close my eyes and pretend everything is just a dream.

"So, umm, how long have you and Edward been going at it?" She suddenly asks.

I can hear the awkward nervousness in her voice. It's as if she has added things together in her head, things she has wondered about before.

Great, just great. She thinks I'm gay now and that I'm fucking Edward too.

Normally the thought of fucking a guy would turn me off. Though I have done things with guys before, I have never fucked a guy, ever. It just did not appeal to me. Yet, thinking of Edward this way, strangely enough turns me on, a lot.

My dick jerks at the thought, making its presence known. Alice's eyes drift towards the tent that now lays under the sheets and frowns, almost as if in defeat instead of excitement.

"I'm not gay." I voice trying to kill the silence and answer Alice's hidden thoughts.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Alice's nods her head in understanding. However, her body is stiff as if all this new found information makes her uncomfortable.

"But you like him." She says thinking out loud.

I remain quiet. Alice already knows the answer to that question there is no point in answering.

"I'm so stupid." She suddenly voices taking me off guard.

I turn my body over to face Alice who is now covering her eyes with her hands.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I ask, trying to break the hold she has on her face.

She shakes her head as if to indicate she doesn't want to take about it. I'm not going to let her get away with it this easily. I pry her hands free, only to find tears in hers eyes and hear a muffle sob escape her lips.

My eyes grow wide at the sight before me. She gives me a pleading look, silently begging me not to ask. However, I can't just let it go. She is a friend of mine after all and her sudden mood change worries me.

"It's nothing Jasper, really." She states as she wipes the falling tears.

"Bullshit Alice, if it was nothing you wouldn't be crying. Now tell me what's wrong." I demand.

"Really Jasper, it's stupid. I'm just emotional, my period is coming soon. Unfortunately it comes with the package. You should head back, it's almost dinner time. I'm sure your mother is probably wondering where you are." She says as she lets out a snuffle.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask looking into her watery eyes.

"Yes, I'll be fine." She says her words sounding forced.

The hurt is clear in her eyes. Why she is hurt I'm not so sure, but I figure she will tell me when she is ready.

I head inside my house in the dark of the night. Shockingly Edward is still there. He looks to be enjoying himself as he watches television with my sister on his lap, his hands holding her waist in a sweet embrace. It makes me sick.

He's eyes leave the screen in front of him briefly, to meet mine as the door closes behind me. His face is unreadable for once. That is until Phil comes in to announce dinner is ready.

I watch as Edward's form tenses up as Phil enters the room and his cheeks flush with color. He tries to hide his embarrassment by kissing Bella's neck. She giggles and squirms in his lap as his mouth caresses her skin.

Now it's my turn to tense up just thinking of the hard on my sister is probably giving him and that she will mostly likely be the one to get his sexually frustrations out with later on.

I clinch my hands in a fist feeling the jealously and anger ripple through me. I need to leave or I will not be accountable for my actions.

I jog upstairs to my room as my mother calls out to me. I quickly retort that I'm not hungry and close the door behind me. I switch my light off and fall back on my bed thinking of what a shitty day it has been. First, to have to deal with this whole fucked up Edward situation and then to deal with not being able to get off with Alice and the drama she doesn't want to share, to this bullshit again.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of it all. Why can't things be simple?

I'm half asleep when I hear a click and I'm met with a blinding light. I roll over in bed cussing at the intrusion.

"What the fuck? Turn off the fuckin light!" I exclaim covering my head with a nearby pillow.

It's dark again and the door shuts. I'm on my way back to sleep when I feel the bed shake and hear a person moaning in pain.

"Owe!"

It's Edward's. I know his voice from anywhere. I feel hands touching my head and arm as if trying to search for where to go. I swat his hands out of my face in annoyance.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask, moving into a sitting position on my bed.

"Sorry, it's kind of hard to see where I'm going in a pitch black room." Edward stresses.

He is right, it is hard to see. In fact, I can't even see him myself. All I can make out is the outline of his dark form. However, his face is blank, just a black mask from where I sit.

"Why are you here anyway? Seriously, this thing is starting to feel like Groundhog's Day. I'm about to puke from the deja vu." I confess.

Edward's dark form stands before me as he speaks.

"I forgot to ask what happened with your, ah, step father a few days back."

What?

"Oh hell no, step father? Let's get one thing straight Phil is not my fuckin step father okay."

"Fine, so what happened?" He asks anxiously as he runs a hand through his hair.

Oh I get it. He wants to make sure his cover isn't blown. Figures.

"Nothing okay, now can I get back to sleeping in peace." I snap.

"You know you're such a dick, one of these days you'll learn your lesson." Edward voices.

I let out a snicker before retorting.

"Yeah, okay mom."

"Fine, don't listen to me." Edward huffs and begins to move away.

I watch as Edward stops short.

"Nothing happened." He announces.

"What?" I ask confuse on what he is talking about now.

"Nothing happened between Bella and me this morning. I saw your face when you walked in. You looked like someone just shot your dog or something."

Great, so it was noticeable. Great just want I want, Edward to pity me.

"If nothing happened then why were you zipping your fly up and why was the bed a mess?" I challenge.

"The bed was still a mess from Bella sleeping in it. She was going to make it up but I wanted to swim and was in a rush. So Bella left the bed as was and as far as the whole zipper thing, I was changing out of my trucks. I changed in Bella's bedroom and she changed in her bathroom. It was completely innocent." He stressed.

"Oh." I express taken off guard.

"Despite how crappy you may treat me or what you may think of me Jasper, I still have morals and beliefs. I may not believe in waiting till marriage to have sex, because honestly I don't think it is physically or hormonally possible to do. However, I always keep my promises. I promised you I wouldn't do anything sexually with your sister and I'm going to respect that until you change your mind or if I truly fall for her. Till than I'll live off of making out and regularly jacking off sessions."

I can't believe what comes from Edward's lips. All my minds can focus on is Edward admitting to jacking off regularly. There is something extremely sexy about this and the fact he is keeping his word to me.

I would not mind watching Edward in one of his Jacking off session, controlling him; telling him what to do to himself and watching him wither right in front of me as he puts his hand in motion.

My dick is hard with excitement.

"Come here." I say, pulling on the front of Edward's shirt, trying to bring him closer.

"Why, so you can pick on me some more? I'm good." He barks.

"Come here." I demand, my voice is strong and huskily with arousal.

He knows it too. I can hear it in his breathing as it grows into fast and uneven pants. I can see it as I pull him forward by his shirt; I can make out the tent he is now sporting in his jeans.

"What now?" He asks trying to stay strong but I can hear his voice shake with need.

I lift my ass of the mattress, balancing on my knees as I rise off the bed somewhat to reach Edward's height. I use my hands to search for his face in the dark. I can feel his warm breath against my hands as they hunt for his mouth. Finding what I'm looking for I press my lips against his.

Edward is too stun to do anything at first but soon awakes from his trance-like state and starts moving his lips against my own.

I tug at his shirt again and Edward willingly leans forward. I fall back on the bed from all the extra weight and Edward quickly gets in a comfortable position, hovering my body as we continue to kiss.

Normally I would prefer to top but I want to see Edward come undone. I want to see what I do to him. In mere seconds our once calm, soothing kisses turned into hot, passionate, rough kisses leaving us both breathless and wanting more.

As we work on calming our breathing I feel Edward's body sink more into mine, letting me feel all of him. I let out a groan and bit his bottom lip with need. He moans in response and grinds his hard shaft against my own.

I withhold my desires and let Edward enjoy himself. I watch his dark form above me as he moves his hips again and again and again against my own causing great friction.

I closed my eyes taken in every moan and pant that leaves his mouth with the creaking noise of my bed. It is sexy as hell, hearing him come undone. There is nothing like it.

"Uh, yeah, oh, umm, fuck, so good, uh, so, so, close, uh." He went on as he grinded against me.

I grabbed his ass, pushing him closer to me, harder. He broke.

"Uh, jasper, (squeak) uh fuck, (squeak) I'm so, (squeak) so, (squeak) so, (squeak, squeak, squeak) ah, I'm cumming!"

Without warning Edward fell on top of me causing a gush of air to leave my lungs. I could feel his heart racing even through his clothes. I shivered at the feel of his warm breath on my neck.

The way Edward was groaning earlier I'm sure he needs some new underwear. Shit, I know I do and fuck, my heart is beating fast too.

I close my eyes trying to ignore how intimate our embrace is. I wait till Edward gets his strength back and rolls to the other side of the bed. I slowly turn to face him with open eyes. I play with the sheets in front of me nervously. I have something I want to say and I have to say it quick before he falls asleep.

"It's you." I confess.

"What?" He asks confuse.

"You asked who I preferred, you or Alice. I prefer you."

Edward didn't say anything and I still couldn't make his facial expressions out in the dark but I could tell he was grinning at the news.

"Really?" He asks hopeful.

"Don't be getting a big head one me now." I warn.

"I won't, it just nice to hear. Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not being a total jerk for once, for being honest."

"Oh, yeah."

"Well, goodnight."

"Night."

I listen to the calming and even sounds of Edward's breathing before falling asleep myself.

Note: Thank you for all your loving words and thoughts. My hand is not 100% back to normal but It's getting there. ;)