Hey from Portugal! Donteatblue and I finished this Tuesday before I flew out, so there you have it, but I'm making zero promises for the next one.
Enjoy!
One Month Later…
Arizona could've done with a sleeping in after catching the redeye to New York, would have done with sleeping in, but alas, her girlfriend got out of bed uncharacteristically early and Arizona wondered if it was the birthday butterflies.
Arizona missed Callie's body already, but her current inner struggle was between falling asleep again, which her whole body yelled at her to do, and feeling guilty because she didn't want to leave the birthday girl awake, all by her lonesome.
She didn't have much time to think about it before Callie burst into the room and jumped on the bed making Arizona whimper in frustration and surprise.
"Your girlfriend's story just got published!"
"What?" Arizona mumbled in a sleepy voice, opening a single eye and trying to make her blurry vision focus on Callie.
"Are you up?" Callie poked her arm, hopeful.
"Mmmm…" is what came out when Arizona tried to form a 'yes.'
"Are you listening?" Callie poked her arm again, a huge grin adorning her face.
Arizona lifted her index finger as if to say to Callie 'give me a minute,' to which Callie responded by nodding eagerly. It made Arizona snort while she tried to push herself up.
She turned herself around and flopped on her back, now looking directly at Callie. It wasn't sitting, but it was progress.
"Hi," she said hoarsely, hardly stifling a yawn.
"Hi, Babe," Callie said with a chuckle.
"You're up super early," Arizona noted. "Is this a birthday thing? Am I being a party pooper of a girlfriend?"
"You're being a super-sexy, still look like you had sex last night, gorgeous-even-when-she-wakes-up girlfriend," Callie flirted making Arizona smile at her. It was a sleepy smile, but a very genuine one.
"Sweet talker," Arizona allowed.
"I'm in a very good mood and no, it's not a birthday thing," Callie explained as she held a paper right in front of Arizona's face, "it's an 'I just got published' thing!" She announced victoriously, making Arizona sit up sharply.
"Oh my god!" Arizona exclaimed, now fully awake and eyes wide in shock, "so I didn't dream you say that." She smiled happily.
"Nope!" Callie chimed in and pushed a copy of The New Yorker into Arizona's face. "Page twenty-six!"
"I'm surprised you didn't mark the page," Arizona teased, "oh, wait, you did," she added when she noticed she didn't have to flip any pages.
She was so proud of Callie, she loved that story and she was there when Callie decided to submit it, gave Callie her blessing. It was the first one that Callie wrote for her, except no one knew that and there was something intoxicating about that feeling of having a secret. But then she finally scanned through the words and something wasn't right.
"Who the fuck is Calliope Plantain and more importantly - why?" She inquired as she lowered the paper to give her girlfriend an incredulous stare.
"I didn't wanna use my real name just yet and I was just having some plantain fries from Empanada Mama when I was trying to come up with a name. Delicious, by the way. On the list for your next visit or better yet, let's order lunch from there. It'd be nicer to sit there, but we'll get to that," Callie decided with no trace of annoyance in her voice.
"This is the perfect birthday gift," Arizona grinned, ignoring Callie's plans. "Why didn't you tell me?" She wondered out loud in confusion.
"I wanted it to be a surprise and then you were exhausted last night but still insisted on staying awake and…"
"Callie, it was after midnight," Arizona cut her off, irritation evident in her voice. They had this argument the previous night. "It was already your birthday. It is a girlfriend's duty to give her lover amazing birthday sex."
"See? That thing you just said? It is so ridiculous and it's also why I love you."
"The sex or the ridiculousness?" Arizona inquired teasingly.
"Both and you know it," Callie leaned in to kiss her. "Hi," she added softly once they broke the kiss off.
"Hi, good morning, and happy birthday," Arizona smiled brightly. She discarded the magazine on the floor next to the bed, grabbed Callie's shirt and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Callie was so engrossed in the kiss that she didn't realize Arizona tricked her right back into bed and flipped them over.
"Is it also a girlfriend's duty to specifically give her lover morning birthday sex?" Callie inquired innocently.
"You know it," Arizona replied and took off her own shirt.
"Hmmm, aren't I supposed to be the one doing the unwrapping?" Callie challenged.
"I have a feeling you'll have that chance at some point today," Arizona smirked and noticed that Callie was intently staring at her. "What is it?" She asked softly, caressing Callie's cheek. Callie hummed in content at the touch and closed her eyes, a soft smile adorning her face.
"Hey," Arizona started gently, making Callie's eyes flutter open. Arizona loved her lashes. "Tell me," she said in a tone that indicated a request rather than an order.
"I haven't celebrated my birthday with a special someone in so long," Callie admitted, biting her lip. "Another thing I thought I'd never get to do again," she added with a sad smile. "I'm so glad you're here," she finished with a barely audible voice.
"Callie," Arizona breathed out, eyes now glazed, "I'm so glad you are here."
Callie nodded in understanding. That last minute call for a medical trial a year and a half ago changed the courses of both their lives, even if they didn't know it back then.
"I love you," Arizona stated, lacing their fingers and kissing Callie's knuckles. She could see her girlfriend was all choked up. While Arizona knew she could never understand what Callie was feeling every time she got to experience again something she thought she'd lost, Arizona was so humbled knowing that she was allowed to take part, welcome to take part. She was so wanted, and it made her insanely happy, because she wanted so much, too.
"I love you, too," Callie offered quietly, bringing Arizona down, letting their bodies mold together. Callie didn't pursue anything further, she just wanted a few moments of feeling her girlfriend's weight on top of her, basking in the reality of the coexistence that they were so fortunate to even have.
Arizona wasn't complaining. Callie wasn't the only one who needed this affirmation every now and then. They both almost lost what they had before they had the chance to find it and on special occasions that notion came to the surface.
"What do you wanna do today?" Arizona mumbled into Callie's shoulder, making her chuckle.
"I wanna have empanadas for lunch and I wanna have you in many shapes and forms before and after," she declared and Arizona pushed herself up to look down on the woman she loved.
"Sounds like a plan," Arizona nodded and Callie could see her eyes darkening.
"I got published today," Callie said softly knowing that soon they won't be talking anymore.
"You got published today," Arizona confirmed enthusiastically. "I'm so proud of you."
Callie scoffed.
"Soon enough you won't be able to walk down the street with me with the amount of autographs I'm gonna have to give," she teased.
"Bring it on," Arizona challenged, "bring every last bit of it on."
They smiled widely at one another, adding another silent promise to the list, and the talking was over.
Arizona was pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Callie left three hours prior to attend her own birthday dinner. She was reluctant to leave, but Arizona persuaded her.
"Go," she told her lover reassuringly, "I'll be here when you get back and give you an actual birthday gift and everything."
Callie grinned at her widely. "I love birthday gifts," she confessed. "And yours is probably a very good one," Callie decided.
"Geez, no pressure," Arizona mock scowled. "You got lucky that your birthday is actually first. I have to do all the first impression related work!" She protested.
"You'll do great," Callie declared, "you always do great. I'll see you soon."
She kissed Arizona goodbye and finally left, to both their dismay.
Arizona did nothing but regret not going for the last three hours. She was jealous of the people who could freely hang out with Callie, but more than that, she wanted to meet them, spend time with them, be a part of her girlfriend's public life, and mostly, not miss important things like birthday dinners.
She tried to reason with herself, remind herself she was still protecting them, protecting Callie. But Callie didn't need protection. Callie was the strongest person she knew.
Just because Callie doesn't need protection doesn't mean she doesn't deserve it.
Because that's the thing about the people we love. We don't wait for them to need us, we make sure to always be there just in case.
"We take care of each other, right?" She remembered Callie saying to her.
Would throwing caution to the wind count as taking care of her? Arizona wondered skeptically.
But Callie also said – "whenever you feel like it's time, I'll be there." Arizona knew Callie would mock her for over analyzing things. It was such a no brainer for Callie, no big deal. But Arizona also knew that at the first public mention of cancer, Arizona would feel extremely guilty.
She decided to busy herself, so she washed the dishes. "Do it," she could hear Callie's voice in her head. She went through the apartment and turned off all the lights that weren't in use. "Do it," she heard her girlfriend's voice again. She sat down on the sofa, covered herself with a thin blanket, and opened the remote box, a trivial act she never performed in Callie's apartment before. Callie always picked the channel. As she grabbed the remote, her hand grazed a piece of paper. It was obvious someone folded and unfolded it many times. Something seemed vaguely familiar about the piece of paper, so Arizona unfolded it. It was her email written in her very own hand writing. A piece of paper that she gave Callie months ago and that Callie never used. But it made no difference. Callie kept the piece of paper. Callie kept her. "You see, you idiot," Callie's voice in her head pointed with a chuckle. "Do it!"
"Screw this," Arizona blurted decisively, sharply got up, grabbed her purse, and swung the door open, nearly bumping forcefully into her girlfriend.
"Hey!" Callie announced happily, "where are you going?" she added, an adorable frown of confusion appearing on her features.
"I was coming to see you?" Arizona offered innocently.
"You were?" A radiant smile broke on Callie's face and Arizona knew she made the right decision.
"Yeah, I was," she confirmed softly, letting the meaning sink between them and allowing her girlfriend back into the apartment. "Why are you back so early?" She inquired as Callie dropped her purse on the sofa.
"I missed you," Callie stated, locking eyes with Arizona, not seeming embarrassed at the slightest.
"Did you share this feeling with Addison?" Arizona teased, but was also doing her internal dance. There was nothing better than the reminders that the person you were head over heels in love with felt the same way.
"I did," Callie admitted, not giving away anything else.
"What did she say?" Arizona probed.
"Nothing," Callie shrugged.
"Really?" Arizona asked in genuine surprise.
"Yeah. She just made gagging sounds instead," Callie explained, finally allowing a satisfied smirk to appear on her face.
"Figures," Arizona scoffed quietly, mirroring Callie's smirk. "I'm glad you are back," she admitted unapologetically.
"I'm glad you were coming," Callie offered genuinely.
"We take care of each other, right?" Arizona quoted, reaffirming their agreement.
"I'll meet you halfway, always," Callie promised with a nod, "literally, in tonight's case," she added teasingly, opening her arms for Arizona to come in for a hug.
"There was a talk of an actual gift. And I'm pretty sure you'd let me have my way with you again," Callie reminded over Arizona's shoulder, making the other woman break the hug.
"Okay," Arizona sighed.
"Hey, no, this is a happy thing," Callie soothed, caressing Arizona's arm. "Whatever it is, I'm gonna love it because it's from you," she reassured.
"You're a walking cliché," Arizona noted, but went to the bedroom to get the item from her carry-on nonetheless. Callie followed her. This is where the night was going to take them eventually anyway.
Arizona took out a long carton tube from her bag and Callie realized immediately it was a painting. The realization made her smile in excitement, which is the image Arizona came face to face with when she turned around, tube in hand.
"Alright," Arizona started and handed Callie the tube, "It's been ages since I drew something that wasn't a portrait," she excused while Callie took out the large creation and unrolled in on her bed. "You might not even recognize it, but it's…"
"Oh my god!" Callie cut her off. "It's your castle in Belarus!" She declared giddily.
"It is," Arizona confirmed shyly. Callie had seen the pictures, during and after and Arizona knew her girlfriend was attentive to details but she sometimes forgot just how much.
"It's gorgeous Arizona. Looks exactly like the photos," Callie complimented happily. "Why the castle?" She added, curious.
Arizona knew the question would come. The admission ahead was a bit embarrassing, but it was also the reason for this whole gift. She gently moved the drawing, took Callie's hands, and sat them both on the bed.
"It was my second week of shooting in the castle," Arizona explained, averting her gaze from Callie's piercing one. "I was walking around between scenes, texting you. I was in such a good mood. I was in a good mood all the time because you were always present," she admitted, looking up to meet her girlfriend's gaze. "Even when you weren't, you always were," she added making Callie smile in understanding. "And then all of a sudden I walked into this room I've never seen before. It was a ballroom. You know that scene in The Sound of Music when Maria arrives to the mansion for the first times and enters the ballroom?" She inquired, rhetorically, yet Callie nodded still. "It was like that. I was walking there in the darkness, minimal light was coming in from some of the windows," she described with a smile, looking over Callie's shoulder, reliving the memory. "All of a sudden I found myself imagining what it would be like to have you there with me. My back attached to your front with your arms wrapped around me. It was startling. I hadn't seen your for a while, our whole weird relationship felt like a weird dream, but there I was, half a world away, realizing for the first time that I was in love with you," she finished vulnerably, meeting her surprised girlfriend's stare. When she painted, she wondered whether she should share the story or not, but Callie was the first one to say the words, relatively quickly after they got together, and it was also Callie's birthday, so Arizona decided she could be brave, too. Callie made her push her own boundaries.
"You knew?" Callie asked hoarsely, "so early on?"
"I did," Arizona admitted, smiling softly, trying to gauge her girlfriend's reaction.
Callie swallowed hard and tightened her hold on Arizona's hands. "I knew back then, too," she confessed genuinely and it was her turn to receive a surprised look. But soon enough the shock in Arizona's eyes turned to pure joy and they stared at each other like that for a while longer. No more words were necessary.
"This is going on this wall," Callie finally broke the silence, pointing at the wall behind the headboard. "It is beyond beautiful. And I totally understand why you chose it. It captures a moment, too."
"It does," Arizona agreed, happy that Callie understood.
"I love you so much," Callie breathed out, "you make my world stop. And I want to show you, I just have one last serious question for tonight. And I'm really sorry to bring this up after we shared such a beautiful moment. So in the future, when we remember tonight, we can omit this part," Callie joked, but there was also some concern beneath the surface.
"What is it, Calliope?" Arizona inquired in worry.
"It's not actually a big deal. What is it with me and unnecessary build ups?" Callie chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. When Arizona glared at her she added "I need to go to Mayo next month for my check-up. It's just a technicality, really, I'm sure everything is fine," she started to ramble. "I was wondering if… you'd want to come with me? You don't have to. It's usually a short and useless visit. You waste half of the day on flights. But, I mean, we can stay there for the night, maybe somewhere nice? And I thought maybe you'd like to meet the people who saved my life, and…"
"Hey," Arizona cut her off, offering a reassuring smile. "I'd love to. After all, it is in Arizona. The state after which I was not named," she joked, making Callie crack a smile.
"You and your weird obsession with me being in the Arizona Mayo Campus. Sheesh, Woman," Callie joked yet still hoped for a serious answer.
"I'm trying to be a romantic here and say how all ways led us together, but fine, be that way. Lucky for your cynical ass I'm still gonna come," Arizona scoffed.
"You really want to?" Callie wondered, hopeful.
"Meet you halfway, right?"
"Well, technically, it's not exactly halfway because…"
"Shut up," Arizona demanded.
"Always," Callie promised.
"You mean never," Arizona smiled and crushed their lips together, making sure their mutual promises of how Callie's birthday would end came to be.
They lost themselves in each other and later that night, right before Arizona fell asleep, she thought back on the meaningful events of the day. Of the new steps they made towards each other.
Maybe Arizona didn't get to act on her decision when she nearly ran into Callie on the threshold, but that decision had already been made and Arizona knew that sooner rather than later, she'd get to tell the world about the person who made her world stop.