Chapter Title: We've Seen Wicked, So We Must Spoof It
Alternate Title: Mr.
Goat, Can I Shake Your Hand?
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Disclaimer: If I
owned Danny Phantom, the show would mirror what happens in this
story…only with cleaner language and neatly separated into
ten-minute segments. Also, I do not own Wicked or any other
copyrighted characters in here. I do, however, control the
OCs…Muahaha…Dance, puppets, dance!
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WARNING! If you have not seen the musical Wicked, this will make little to no sense to you. This contains MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR spoilers (no wait, not really), and if you haven't seen Wicked yet, you SHOULD, even if only to understand this chapter. Also, if you have read the book Wicked, please note that the musical is VERY loosely based off of the novel (I read the book and was confused as heck, since I saw the musical first) and any confusion you have is, sadly, not my fault. Or maybe it is. Thus ends my rant.
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Also, for
clarification: (RA/N: ) means that Ralmal left a note there. (A/N: )
or (EA/N: ) means me, Elemia, left the note.
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A Random Omake-that-is-not-an-Omake Introduction:
Please remember that all of the bolded print that follows is, indeed, the voice of the new narrator intern, who is very easily amused…and thus easily bored.
Elemia: :Walks out in poofy pink dress, and thus is Galinda/Glinda: Ho hum.
Weasel: :Is dressed as teh GOAT (Dr. Dillamond): SHE ACTUALLY DID IT! GASPETH!
Ralmal: :Has green skin, and thus is Elphaba: GAH! EYES!
Lexa: :Being the short guy he is, he was cast as the munchkin, Boq: MOving right along... (that is, for all you people like my good friend MagicalSparkles Fantastic, moving with an accent on the first syllable. That is to say, the "moo.")
Tucker: :Is dressed as the Scarecrow/Fiyero…just for YOU, Ralmal: On to the jokes!
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Note to those who will bug me for it later: At this point, the Weasel leaves, having grown tired of her hairy costume.
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Act One: Remakes of Good Scenes
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Scene 1
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Elemia, in a less poofy but much pinker dress, sat and fiddled with her far-too-long hair, which she had recently died blonde. Ralmal sat by her, preparing for her lessons in poPUlarnessnessness.
"Tosstoss! Now you try it, Ralmal…um…I mean, Elphaba."
"Toss…toss…"
Ralmal wasn't all that enthusiastic, if you didn't get it
already.
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Scene 2
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Elemia, still dressed as Galinda/Glinda, only in a very fashionable (coughcoughnocoughcough) blue suit, walked out on one side of the stage and pulled out a crumpled letter. "Dearest most Darlingest Momsie and Popsical…" she read aloud.
Ralmal walked out on the other side, still very green and clad in a less fashionable (as in AUGH!) black suit. She pulled out a very neatly folded letter. "Dear Father," she said, in a tone that sounded…well…rather dead compared to Elemia's energetic reading.
"There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz," they sang together.
"But of course I'll care for Nessa," sang Ralmal, pointing to the Celia, who was staring at the goat.
"But of course I'll riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise above it…" sang Elemia, drawing out her high note dramatically.
They began to sing together…again. "For I know that's how you'd want me to respond. Yes. There's been some confusion for you see my roommate is…"
Elemia tilted her head quizzically as she looked at Ralmal's new skin color. "UnusuallyandExceedinglyPeculiarandAltogetherQuiteImpossibleToDescribe…" having finished this, she gasped for breath a bit.
Ralmal rolled her eyes.
"Blonde."
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Scene 3
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Elemia and Ralmal were, again, sitting next to eachother…Elemia, as Galinda, was in a state of uncontained glee, whearas Ralmal…well…Elphaba wasn't exactly a cheerleader.
"Ralmal…um…Elphaba…now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project."
"You really don't have to do that." Quietly, she added "Please…please don't."
Unfortunately, Elemia didn't hear her. Or, if she did, she ignored her completely. "I know. That's what makes me so nice!"
"You're so conceited!" whispered Ralmal.
Elemia, having heard this, ignored her…perhaps for the second time. "Take it away, Paulina!"
Paulina walked out in a similar poofely pink dress…and then she started singing.
(Notes: When written like this, that means its normal singing. When written in italics, like this, that means it is whispered. When written like (this) it's an action, or description of what is happening. Enjoy.)
"Whenever I see someone…less fortunate than I…
And let's face it, who ISN'T…less fortunate than I…
My tender heart tends to start to bleeeed…
And when someone needs a makeover, I simply HAVE to take over…
I know I KNOW exactly…what they neeed….
And even in YOUR case…
Though it's the TOUGHEST case I've yet to face…
Don't worry – I'm determined to succeeeeeeeed…
Follow myyyyy leeeeaaaaad…
And yes, indeed…
You…
Will…
Be…
Popular!
You're gonna be poPUlar…
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
(squeal)
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be…
Popular!
I'll help you be poPUlar…
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to knooooow…
So let's start
Cuz you got an AWEfully long waaaay to go…
Don't be offended by my frank anaaaaalysis
Think of it as personality DIalysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal
A sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to
Popular!
I KNOW about poPUlar…
And with an assist from me
You'll be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were…ARE…
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popular…LAR…"
As she drew breath to begin another section (specifically the 'lala' part), Ralmal butted in. "Okee."
Elemia winced and said, "Stop now. Please."
The Celia lay twitching on the floor, curled up in the fetal position. "MY EARS! THEY BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!"
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Act Two: The Actual
Story (Andrew: Scene Three point one four one five nine two six five
three…)
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Everybody turned to stare at the Celia.
"I can't take it! MAKE IT STOOOOOP!"
Elemia, following the Celia's lead, went completely out of her Galinaish character. "Come on…it's all funn, right?"
"Not exactly…" Ralmal remarked. "I'm GREEN. And you know what that means, right?"
"Umm...you're seasick?" guessed Elemia.
"You overdosed on grass?" offered the Celia, obviously referring to the plant that grows in everybody's lawns, not some code name for some illegal drug that none of you should be using.
"NO!" shouted Ralmal. "It MEANS that I clash with everything."
The Celia looked at her sympathetically (not to be confused with apathetically, an example of such and apathetic look would be the one Elemia gave Ralmal). "Here. White goes with everything." She waved her arm and a white outfit appeared out of nowhere.
"Umm…ew…Get it off! Get it off! It's worse than the pink!"
Elemia and Paulina looked at Ralmal accusatorially (and that is ACTUALLY a word, folks). "And what is THAT supposed to mean?"
Clearing her throat embarrassedly, Elemia said, "Um…try this BLACK witch costume…"
"Hey, it works! Toss toss!"
The Celia smiled. "Toss toss!"
Elemia smirked…cuz she felt superior. "Toss toss!"
Tucker…well…who cares? "Toss toss!"
The Larie, who had not appeared for a long while, appeared…hahaha. "Toss toss!"
The Lexa walked in. "Toss toss!"
Everyone looked at him oddly.
"What? Everyone was doing it!"
Tucker did not object.
"Figures…" sighed the Celia.
Elemia straightened somewhat superiorly. "Well, we all know that I am the ultimate toss tosser!"
Salad looked horrified at her comment. "SALAD tosser?"
Ralmal ignored her. "You were right. This hat WAS too smart for you, GAlinda."
"Hey, hey, hey…do not challenge the toss tosser." Elemia replied haughtily.
"Yeah…you are so…BLONDE. Is that your natural hair color?" this of course, was an idiotic question, because Elemia was clearly asian.
Randomly, Andrew popped in out of nowhere. "What is GOING ON? What happened to the ever so wonderful Subwayingness Ball?"
"You're beginning to sound like me!" squealed Paulina happily.
Whilst Andrew beamed, everyone turned and gagged.
"But you will never be as popular as MEEEE!" sang out Paulina, mixing the words up a bit in her mind.
"Here's your engagement present…" announced Andrew, holding out a pink bag.
"Yay! A PINK shirt that says POPULAR on it!"
"What did you get me?" asked Andrew.
"Uh…" Paulina looked around the room frantically…not like Andrew noticed. "This Wicked Program!" she yelled, grabbing said program off a table.
Elemia paused in her knitting (Yes, Elemia knits. What? Since all the freshmen-who-are-now-sophomores are turning sixteen, one should make special presents. Which reminds me Ralmal, I need to talk to you about your present, because all of them are one of a kind. Yay!) to ask "Shouldn't that pink popular shirt be mine?"
"No," said Ralmal with finality.
"You don't have to be so depressed…" whined Elemia.
"I can't!" wailed Ralmal. "She stole the Celia's shoes!"
Elemia blinked a few times in astonishment. "The Celia's dead?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Jake, falling to the ground in his grief.
Ralmal sighed. "No, she's not dead…she promised that I could borrow them tonight…stupid farm girl…give 'em back!"
"Oh, they're only shoes…" said Elemia. "LET 'EM GO…Leave that poor girl alone…and that dog DODO too…"
"NEVER!"
"CAN WE GET BACK TO THE PARTAY!" screamed Andrew.
There was a looooooooooong silence…
…broken by Dill and Scout. "YAY! More screaming adolescents!"
Everyone looked at them…with expressions screaming 'You're still here?'
Tucker walked in.
"Hello, I'm here to cause a disturbance to anyone within a 100 ft radius.
"It's working," commented Ralmal, "and I'm 101 ft away."
"Oh my gosh!" squealed Salad. "It's the Fiyerio/Tucker!"
Ralmal and Elemia went "Ew," before running off to go hurl.
When they got back, Ralmal whispered "Bat casting there, gal."
"It's GLINDA," said Elemia grandly. "the GA is silent."
"I was just…nevermind."
Tucker gave them a look that he thought was smexy. "Come on…I'm adorable."
"We quit!" announced Elemia and Ralmal.
"Unless someone better comes along," added Elemia.
Ralmal agreed. "Yeah…getting the chance to slap each other isn't worth your love, Fiyerio/Tucker." (A/N: Ralmal does actually call Fiyero 'Fiyerio.')
Tucker sniffed sadly. "I think my feelings are hurt…What is this feeling?"
"Oh, no!" cried Ralmal, as she and the others began to run away. "He's going to break into song…"
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Meanwhile…
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The Celia was staring at the goat.
"Do you even know WHO the goat is?" asked the Salad.
"Not a clue…but I LOVE it!"
Jake looked at the Celia with an ACCUSING look in his eyes. "Hey, what is WRONG with you?"
"I thought YOU were the goat…" she mumbled.
"You just said you had no clue!" shouted Jake, exposing the Celia's hypocrisy.
"I was flirting!" the Celia protested.
The pairing (Jake and the Celia) turned to the goat. "Who ARE you?"
"You all know me…" said the Goat, in a smexy man-voice. "Come on…Jake, we're related…"
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Dadadaduuuuuuuun….
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"OH EM GEE!" yelled the Lexa as he ran over…slowly (A/N: The Lexa cannot sprint quickly – he is a distance runner, as opposed to Elemia, who cannot run long distances, but is a good sprinter…if she may say so herself). "I KNOW WHO IT IS! IT'S"
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Meanwhile…
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Tucker bawled out his lyrics into a microphone…brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen.
"LOATHING!
WHAT IS THIS FEELING
SO SUDDEN AND NEW
I FELT THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU?
MY PULSE IS RUSHING
MY HEAD IS REELING
MY FACE IS FLUSHING
WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME…
DOES IT HAVE A NAME
…YES…
LOATHING!
UNADULTERATED LOATHING!
FOR YOUR FACE
YOUR VOICE
YOUR CLOATHING
LET'S JUST SAY
I LOATHE IT ALL
EVERY LITTLE TRAIT, HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH SIMPLE UTTER LOATHING
THERE'S A STRANGE EXHILERATION
INSUCH TOTAL DETESTATION
IT'S SO PURE SO STROOOOOOOOOONG
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST
AND I WILL BE LOATHING
LOATHING YOU
MY WHOOOOOLE
LIIIIIIFE LONG!"
"Boo!" shouted Ralmal suddenly.
"Eeek!" screamed Tucker…how giirly. Heck, even the girls are manlier.
"Heh heh…" cackled Ralmal. "I couldn't resist…"
Elemia sighed. "What a loser…sung that duet by himself…HA!"
Together, Ralmal and Elemia made fun of Tucker's idiocy. Good times…good times…
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Meanwhile…
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The Lexa was angreh. "Hey, Narrator! You cut me off!"
Sorry…not.
"I heard that.
Good.
"Can we get back to me?" asked the Goat.
"How can you be related to me?" asked a very confused Jake.
The Goat sighed. "Dude, I'm your non-Asian twin twice removed…I'm"
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Meanwhile…
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"STOOOOP!" screamed the goat…in all his smexy man-voiced wonder.
STOP HASSLING ME! I'm only paid by the hour you know…fine…
Oooooh…smexy…smexy man-voiced goat…
o.0 What the hell is that? The Celia, get out of my narration booth!
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Continuing with the
Goat…
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"Thank you. As I was saying, I'm"
"DEFYING GRAAAAAAVITYYYYYYYYY!" From the distance, they could hear Tucker's slightly off-key wailings.
Ralmal sighed. "Not you, me. Now give me back my broomstick."
AHA! It appears that they were in the same place this WHOLE TIME!
Regular Einstein, we are.
"Are you still using that ratty old thing?" asked Elemia.
"Well…not all of us can travel by BUBBLE!"
Suddenly, Elemia broke out into some random Asian kung-fu moves obviously inspired by Tian Long Ba Bu…the Chinese drama she finished last week. (A/N: WHY? WHY DID AH ZHI LIVE WHEN AH ZHU DIED?)
"Wrong part," muttered Ralmal.
"Oops."
The Goat exploded. Metaphorically, not literally. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOAT CHEESE! CAN I PLEASE REVEAL MYSELF NOW?"
The lengthy silence was broken only by the Celia's apologetic "Yes…sorry…we've been rude…"
"Speak for yourself…" snapped Ralmal.
"FOR THE GAZILLIONTH TIME!" the Goat screamed exasperatedly. "I'm…"
"DANNY!" screamed Sam, sprinting in.
"WHY WON'T THIS END?" the Goat moaned pathetically.
Everyone gasped.
"Danny?" asked Jake. "YOU'RE THE GOAT? HOW COULD YOU?"
"What?" asked a very confused Goat.
"Seriously," said Sam. (Ah, alliteration. I love you so.) "Where IS he? Did he fight the Lexa yet?"
The Lexa gasped dramatically.
"Oops…did I say that out loud?"
"He's right here…" said the Celia. "Sorry Jakey…I'll never cheat on you with your twin twice removed again…"
"Okay sweety pie…" he replied, whilst a few NPCs suffocated due to all the CHEESE and SAP being produced by this scene. "What was his name again?"
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Then, the Danny walked in.
Everyone stared at him.
"WHAT? Did I walk out of the house wearing that kimono again?"
Everyone, with the exception of Danny, turned their heads to look at the goat…slooooooooooooooooowly.
The Celia then used her natural Asian skills and ninja'd off the goat mask.
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Collective Gasp!
You know you want to. THE POWER OF CHEESE COMPELS YE! THE POWER OF
CHEESE COMPELS YE!
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Jake broke the ensuing silence. "It's ASHLEY! The twin ONCE removed!"
(Note: Ashley's a guy.)
"Didn't see that coming…" muttered Ralmal. (Isn't it funny that I thought there was alliteration there, but it was merely a mistake?)
The Lexa was angry. Well, no, he was cranky. Somebody needs a wittle nap…yes he does… "That doesn't make any sense! HOW can you have two tw"
Andrew put his hand on the Lexa's shoulder in a touchy-feely but non-homosexual way. "Well, not much of the story makes sense, so why should this be any different?"
"True," said the Lexa, as he backed away from the Korean. (Now, seriously, has anyone else seen the Korean dudes who are all touchy-feely but NOT GAY?)
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We interrupt this
program to bring you: DEFYING GRAVITY! A SaladxTucker Wicked Spoof.
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Text like thismeans Tucker is 'singing.' Text like this means the Salad is singing. Text like this means Elemia decided to make fun of them DURING the song. Text like this they are singing together.
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Defying Gravity! (a
SaladxTucker Wicked Spoof)
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"Tucker, why can't you be happy for her for once, instead of jumping out the window?
I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now!
I hope you're happy how you hurt your cause forever!
I hope you think you're clever!"
"I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy too!
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition!"
:Elemia: You know, that didn't have to do with anything...:
"So though I can't imagine hoooooooooooow
I hope your happy
Right
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"
"Tucker, listen to me.
You can still be with Paulina
What you've worked and waited for...
You can have all you've ever wanted..."
"I dont want it...(it implies her)"
:Collective gasp:
"No...I can't want it...anymore...
Something has changed within me...
Something is not the same...
I'm sick of playing by the rules of this dumb dating game...
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts...
Close my eyes...and leeeeeeeeaaaaap
It's time to try defying gravity...
I think I'll try defyING gravity
And you cant hold me down."
"Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur!"
"I'M through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change,
Until I try I'll never know...
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love it comes at much to high a coooooost!"
Elemia: This is the longest and most musical suicide note I've ever heard...
Tucker: :pushes Elemia out of the way
"I'd sooner try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye"
Elemia: Whoa there...
Salad blushes, Tucker ignores them both
"I'm defying gravity
ANd you can't pull me down..."
Salad, come with me. Think of what we could do...together..."
Elemia: Luke...I am your father...
"Unlimited...Together we're unliiiiimited."
Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been...
Salad...
Dreams, the way we planned 'em"
"If we work in tandem..."
"There's no fight we cannot win"
Elemia: You should say 'lose'...Tucker looks like a wuss.
Salad: HEY!
Tucker: no, no, she's right.
"Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity"
"They'll never bring us down...
Well, are you coming?"
Inner (ghetto) Salad: oh, HAELL no! I ain't jumpin out no friggin window!
"I hope you're happy...now that you're chosing this...I hope it brings you (eternal) bliss"
"I really hope you get it"
Elemia: I doubt he will, sadly…okay, maybe not so sadly, but you get my point
"and you don't live to regret it"
Elemia: But...he gonna DIE!
"I hope you're happy in the eeeend!
I hope you're happy...my...friiiieeeeend..."
Elemia: Friend...with benefits!
"So if you care to find me...LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY!"
Elemia: That is, of course, assuming that he goes to heaven.
"As someone told me lately, EVERYONE dESErVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!
And if i'm flying solo"
Elemia: like anyone would commit a double suicide with YOU! OOOOH!
"At least I'm flying free!
To those who'd ground me"
Elemia: Your parents
"Take a message back from me...
Tell them how I am Defying Gravity!"
Elemia: They'll think you're crazy!
Tucker's parents: Oh, we already knew this...
"I'm flying high defying gravity
And soon i'll match them in renown...
ANd nobody from here to Oz"
Elemia: Where is Oz?
" No ANDREW that there is or was..."
Elemia: Oh, still bitter about how he stole Paulina?
Tucker: Damn straight.
Elemia: But you know this was a Salad/Tucker piece right?
Tucker: Well, crap.
"IS ever gonna bring MEEEEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!"
"I hope you're happy!"
Party People: Look at him, he's crazy!
Get him!
"BRING MEe dOOOOOOOOWN!"
Party People: No one MOURNS the Wicked!
SO we have to bring hiiiiim doOoooWN!
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And with that final, long, and strangely soprano "Ooooooooh," Tucker jumped out the window.
The Salad fell to the ground, screaming to the heavens (or ceiling, in this case) in her grief. "Tucker! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Elemia tapped her shoulder, awakening her from her emo-ness. "We're on the first floor."
"Oh."
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Notes on the following section: there is 1337 in the following section. There are subtitiles like :this: Megatokyo (which I don't own) style. Also, there are translations like ((this)) for you unleet n00bs. Also, I would have done my 1337 better, but some of the symbols I usually use are not allowed by this accursed edit thing.
"It's ASHLEY!" cried the Celia.
"That's already been said…" Ralmal replied, rolling her eyes.
"Right…"
The Lexa looked around, amused. "D00d, h3'5 4 d00d. 7h475'5 5(r3w3d up." :He is male. That is odd.: ((Dude, he's a dude. That's screwed up.))
"What's with the 1337?" asked a very confused Ralmal.
Elemia grinned, obviously not paying attention. "D4mn. H3'5 50 h07." :Oh my. He is handsome.: ((Damn. he's so hot.))
Tucker sighed dramatically. "1 0n1y w15h 1 w45 7h47 f1n3." :I wish I had his looks.: ((I only wish I was that fine.))
"B4(k 0ff, f001, h3'5 m1n3!" cried Elemia, enraged. :Excuse me, I believe I saw him first.: ((Back off, fool, he's mine!))
Ralmal, having learned 1337 while they were arguing, interrupted her. "313m14, y0u wh0r3! 4r3 j00 w17h 7h3 13x4, 7h3 gu4n, 0r 7h3 45h13y?"
(A/N: Trust me, it was funnier in the original.)
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Ralmal Writes an
Omake…that is not an Omake. Gasp.
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Danny had just declared his love for Tucker to his family...I know, what a shock right?
You decide if that was sarcastic or not.
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Sam's
POV
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Okay, I have GOT to tell Danny the truth about what happened to Lexa/Oresush's powers. I think he'll understand...after all, he's too dense to question me anyway.
I transformed into the sushi form of ghost (RA/N: wonder where lexa's powers went) and flew up to Danny's window. Suddenly, I turned invisible. Stupid powers I thought. I peeked in the window. Danny was sitting there, looking depressed. Aw...I bet he misses me...
Then he says "Tucker..." in this really creepy way.
Okay, totally NOT what I was expecting.
Then Danny's family walked in. What great timing. It's almost like a bad cartoon. (RA/N: Hah….IRONY!)
Then I heard Danny say "Family, I have an announcement to make…."
Curious, I flew closer to the window and to my utter shock, Danny ripped off his shirt, revealing a heart tattoo that says "Tucker" on it.
"I'm going gay!" he cried.
"WHAT?" I scream, forgetting that I am not supposed to be heard. I turned back into human and collapsed on the ground.
"Ow.." I say to noone in particular. Maybe the nearby bush heard me. Who knows.
"Hey Sam..what're you doing on the ground?" It is a walking bush….no wait, it's Ralmal…...she is still green. (remember from the previous chapters)
I tried to hold back a cry. "Uh...I have to tell you something….you're the only one I can trust."
Ralmal looked touched. "Why? Cause I'm so nice?"
I gave her a weird look. "No...because you're green."
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Regular
POV
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Danny's parents gasped.
Danny's dad was almost in tears. "How can you be so queer?"
"And why TUCKER? That's the best male you could find?" his mom put in. (A/N: Inside every girl, there sleeps a yaoi fangirl)
Danny's dad (Jack, I think) was heard to say "This is all YOUR fault, Maddie."
"Family...it's called April Fool's Day." Danny laughed.
A random person who looked like Kimberly Ann Possible walked into the room. "Did someone choke on air again?"
Jazz, looking bemused, said "It's May 18th...and is that tattoo permenant?"
Danny thought for a minute. "Dang it.."
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On
with the story...starting with Tucker/Salad
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Salad leaned out the window. "Tucker, my love, are you alright?"
Tucker, being the drama queen that he is, moaned. "I got a paper cut...Salad, please get me band-aid with barney on it."
"What a weirdo," observed Elemia. The Barney theme song started to play. It was coming from Jake Long's video ipod. Everyone stared at him.
"What?" he said innocently.
Salad, being the too happy girl she is, yodeled "OF COUSE MY DEEEAAAAAAAAAAAR! I'll get you a banDAID!" With that being said, she jumped out the first-story window, first aid kit in tow.
At this moment, the crickets choose to chirp. It was okay...because it was nightime.
"Yo, those crickets got rhythm G." Jake Long rapped.
"The heck?" responded Celia.
"I want to take another nap," the Lexa said randomly.
Elemia hit him with her good leg. The body part is leg. LEG, I say, LEG. "I swear, that's all you're good for."
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Ralmal appeared from thin air. Wow...skillz. While Sam took the bus...to get to the restaurant that the crowd of miscallaneous people were to celebrate Andrew and Paulina's engagement.
"Speaking of that, when are we going to get back to that.." asked Andrew.
Ralmal shot him...a deadly glare. This scared the crap out of Andrew...not because of the glare...but because of greenness of the glare.
"Seriously Andrew..."
"What?"
"You and Paulina do NOT deserve each other...What do you see in her?"
"Nothing...I like what is on her."
"Eck...I'm sorry I asked."
Paulina, being the oblivious punk that she is asked, "What, my mole?"
Andrew shifted his eyes. "Sure…..if saying that will make you feel better."
Elemia came up to Andrew and poked his eyes out.
"Ah! MY EYES!"
Paulina covered her ears. "AHH! MY EARS! MY PERFECT LITTLE EARS! They are BLEEDING! No...all over my brand new Uggs...Oh wait, they're Lexa's."
"Can you much?" Elemia asked. She calmly walked back to where she was standing….on her head…..no wonder why she's so crazy. (EA/N: Truly, I can't stand on my head.)
Suddenly, someone started singing. (MORE ALLITERATION!)
"Seriously, what idiot would start singing at a time like this?" Danny asked to no one in particular.
"When did you come?" everyone asked.
Apparently, Danny was too dense to realize that his pairing (RA/N: no, not Tucker..OR Valerie...so all you Valerie/Danny fans can just pack your bags and GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE.) was singing a sappy song.
---------------------------
Randomly…
"WICKED!" Ralmal screamed.
"The WICKED...The WickeD...The wicked." Celia said the most smexy voice she could make. Jake was obviously amused. NEED I say more?
"EMBRYOS...EmbryoS...embryos." Ralmal said. Guy X was obviously amused. But wait-he wasn't there. So NOONE was amused. Too bad.
---------------------------
And it went something like this:
Hands
touch, eyes meet
Sudden
silence, sudden heat-
"The meat The meat! The meat is on fiya!.." started Ralmal.
Celia cut in. "We don't need no wata-"
"Let it grill let it GRILLLLLLL" Jake Long finished. Then the three of them started making sizzle noises. This was good background music, I might say.
Hearts
leap in a giddy whirl
He
could be that boy
But
I'm not that girl.
"Don't you mean boy?" Elemia asked, clearly confused, and still on her head. She just HAD to ruin the moment. Typical Elemia.
Don't
dream too far
Don't
lose sight of who you are
Don't
remember that rush of joy
He
could be that boy
I'm
not that girl
"Uh, Hello? Did you not hear me?" Elemia asked again, CLEARLY annoyed. And the crickets started chirping again. It was not appropriate timing, if you ask me. But hey, what can you do? Suddenly, Elemia's eyes flared up and she got out her screwdriver. "Must...kill...crickets..." She set off to the land of the holy crickets.
Ev'ry
so often we long to steal
To
the land of what-might-have-been
But
that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When
reality sets back in
Blithe
smile, lithe limb
She
who's winsome, she wins him
Short
black hair with a red beret
That's
the boy he chose
And
Heaven knows
I'm
not that girl
Elemia was not here to correct anyone...for she was too busy killing crickets...on this warm summer night. Poor crickets.
Don't
wish, don't start
Wishing
only wounds the heart
I
wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's
a boy I know
He
loves him so
"That STILL ain't right." Annie declared.
I'm not that girl
Ralmal looked like she was crying...but she wasn't...she was just bored to tears. See, this is EXACTLY what happened at Wicked. But she woke up to the sound of Elemia's enthusiastic "YES! I HAVE KILLED THEM ALL!" in the background. She returned with a lot of dead crickets burnt to a crisp in her basket. She got on top of the stage that just MAGICALLY appeared.
---------------------------
"Tonight...WE FEAST!"
This caused everyone to cheer. Hurray! Crickets for dinner!
Ralmal, thinking of what to do to get Lexa and Elemia, and ultimately Danny and Sam together, jumped on the stage. Everyone gasped.
Clearly, they have not gotten over her totally FAKE green skin and mistook her for the WW of the W.
"And later...WE DANCE! SHAKESPEARE STYLE!" Ralmal shouted.
Everyone was silent. Too bad there weren't any crickets to break the icy tension. Everyone glared at Elemia. After all, SHE was the cause for the lack of crickets.
Ralmal looked around evilly. "With the one you are destined to be with...forever..." Everyone looked around suspiciously. This was like DP...but better...cuz it's real.
Elemia lost her enthusiasm. She KNEW Ralmal was going to pair her with Lexa. Dang it...or maybe she could slip Ralmal some green to get her to pair her up with Guan...or ASHLEY...wait, she doesn't need anymore green...ha...
Elemia was so lost in her lame pun to realize that she had said everything outloud and everyone, especially Ralmal, looked bemused.
"Uhh...ta da?"
Unfortunately, everyone booed Elemia off the stage. Poor little bipolar Asian girl with a bloody screwdriver.
"Okay, everyone, take out your masks." Everyone pulled out their masks, except for Lexa.
Ralmal, clearly annoyed, said "Lexa, WHERE is your mask?"
"But.." he pouted. "You didn't write it on the board."
"Oh Lexa, you look so cute when you pout." Elemia said.
"What?"
"Nothing nothing.." Elemia said nonchalantly. NONCHALANT I SAY!
Ralmal, clearly enjoying being in charge began rearranging the totallywickedawseme party people in a circle...so they don't know who their pairing is...unless they have a mediocore level of intelligence...it wasn't THAT difficult to figure out who your partner was.
---------------------------
A few awkward moments later...
Everyone is standing in a circle. Boy-Girl pattern. Ralmal is in the middle, giving instructions. Suddenly, Elemia had a thought.
"Hey, where's your pairing Ralmal?"
Ralmal didn't look surprised. She has been asked this question TOO MANY TIMES ALEADY. "I don't want one...besides...pairing people up is more fun." It fit that Zeus decided to send lightning at this particular moment. (EA/N: Odd, it wasn't raining. I applaud Ralmal's plot hole! Who's with me? :crickets: What? Survivors? BLASPHEMY!)
At this point, everyone had joined in harassing their leader. I mean, Ralmal.
"Tell us!"
"Come on! We won't laugh!"
"I'll give you a cookie!"
Ralmal got really angry. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE A PAIRING...SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT..."
At this sudden outburst, everyone shut up. Tucker, Lexa, and Andrew even fainted from shock.
"Weaklings..." muttered Larie. "I'm used to it...she yells at me everyday..."
Ralmal's brown eyes got fiery red. "What was that?"
"Nothing...nothing...ohpleasepleasepleasedon'tkillmehowcanIdancewithdashwithoutmylegsandarms"
Suddenly, the puddle started moving and regenerated into a human-like form. Everyone gasped. It was...MS. NOTO!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone shouted.
"Where's the Lexa, I want to dance with him..."
"UH...no THANK you" he emphasized, emphasizing on every other word he said. "I HAVE my PARTNER already." He twitched a little as he finished. Funny, that lightning did NOT hit him…With that being said, he grabbed his partner's hand, unaware of who it was. (I'm telling you...below average intelligence...those SAT scores are all a scam...) Elemia blushed furiously.
"Oh how sweet..." Ms. Noto said. Her kind face turned evil again. "Now I must attack-" Before she could harm two hairs (she already harmed one) on Elemia's head, she was hit by PLASMA and turned into a puddle again.
"Now why do I feel like I've done this before?" She said as she feel into a oozy pile of……ooze. Who fired that shot? Everyone buzzed.
"It was me" Danny's partner said. (Gee-I wonder who that is.) Everyone stopped buzzing.
"Buzz"
Elemia shook off Lexa's hand in disgust. "Was that you again?"
"Maybe..." he answered sheepishly.
"Don't you mean 'goatly'?" said the goat, who is the Ashley. No, not Ashley Olson. She doesn't have the skills to pass for a goat.
Celia got very happy. "THE GOAT! I LOVE YOU!"
"Hey." Her partner said. (Jake) "You're here with me."
Danny looked shocked. He looked at his partner. "YOU...HAVE...GHOST...POWERS...?"
"Why so dramatic?" Larie asked.
"I'm telling you...inside every boy lies a girly drama queen…and a yaoi fangirl." Elemia answered.
Danny ignored them. "Oh my gosh...I would so go out with you if you wanted to. But I can't tell because I'm stupid." he said to his partner.
"Way to be blunt." Elemia observed.
Sam looked confused. "But I thought you flipped to the other si-"
"OKAY EVERYONE! THE MUSIC IS STARTING! TRY NOT TO BARF YOUR PARTIALLY DIGESTED CRICKETS ON THE FLOOR...I JUST GOT IT CLEANED...OH YEAH, NOT ON YOUR PARTNER EITHER." Ralmal shouted.
"WhY mUsT yOu YeLl, RaLmAl?" Salad asked.
"I'M NOT YELLING...THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE..."
---------------------------
While
dancing...
---------------------------
Focus on...Salad and Tucker
"Thanks for my bandaid by little ranch dressing." Tucker said.
"You're welcome my little techno geek." Salad said.
Ralmal, overhearing their mushy convo, started to feel sick. But she couldn't barf on the floor.
That would make her a hypocrite.
And that wouldn't be very nice.
---------------------------
Focus on...Celia and Jake
"Stop stepping on my feet yo." said Jake.
"I'm sorry Jakey Longey. I'm too obsessed with the goat to look at you."
"Say what?" Celia knew she had to get her mind off of her cheating on him.
"I love you...you love me...we're a happy family..." she sang. Jake got a really dreamy look on his face, grabbed Celia's hand, and walked around in a circle.
Celia giggled. Works every time!
---------------------------
Focus on...Larie and Dash
"Football..." said Dash slowly.
"Hockey..." added Larie slowly.
"Shut up..." said Ralmal slowly.
---------------------------
Focus on...Arri and Olivia
"I can't believe they ran out of guys." Arri stated.
"This is so wrong," said Olivia.
"And yet-so right."
Olivia was taken aback. "Say WHAT?"
"Nothing….." said Arri.
(EA/N: That was not nice of you Ralmal. NOT NICE. Making fun of Arri is not allowed unless she owes you money.)
---------------------------
Focus on...Paulina and Andrew
"Oh Andrew...this is so...what's the word I'm looking for...it starts with an "R" and rhymes with dramatic..." Paulina said
Andrew sighed. "Romantic?"
Paulina snapped her fingers. "Yes, that's the one!"
I should have never dumped Malina...She was everything Paulina wasn't...smart. Andrew thought.
(RA/N: Don't worry, Paulina/Andrew fans, they will stay together because Andrew's too SHALLOW to leave the Paulina. Plus-she's half-Asian. (And she's a human squirrel))
---------------------------
Focus on...Guan and Annie
"WHAT?" Elemia shouted. "WHEN DID that HAPPEN?"
"Angie-I love you...I never saw true beauty until this night. You are the only one for me. I want to spend every day with you. You are...my soul mate...I was silly to be with anyone else. I'm glad the green Ralmal paired us up together." Guan said poetically.
"Um...my name is Annie."
---------------------------
Focus on...Danny and Sam
"WHY are you so dense?" I'm SAM you idiot!"
Danny didn't buy it. "I can't be sure...OW...You stepped on my foot with your gothic 10 pound combat boot!"
"'Love is like a red red rose...That I step on with my 10 pound combat boot...'" Ralmal recited.
"That was for loving Tucker and not TELLING me that you DECIDED to love him." Sam yelled.
"Say What? Why would I love TUCKER?" Danny said. "That is so...like me...but I swear, I DON'T"
"Oh yeah?" Sam challenged. "Then what's with the Tucker tattoo?"
"Say what?" Tucker said, because he could overhear them. Actually, everyone could overhear each other. Hah La La.
"I so don't love Tucker...person-that-I-don't-know."
Sam screamed.
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
(EA/N: MY EYES! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE THEM SO?)
After that LOUD yell...which everyone in the land of Oz heard (important later), Sam calmed down a little.
"Remember at the ... weird school and the vlad asked us for our homework...but we said we didn't go there...and then we...hugged...a lot." (See Danny/Valerie and Danny/Paulina fans...HAHAHA)
"And then the fangirls melted to the floor." Danny finished. He removed his partner's mask. Once he realized it was Sam, he mentally slapped himself. Then Ralmal came over and actually slapped him...and calmly walked back to the middle of the circle and counted out the rhythm, with help from Mr. Cats. One-ee-and-ah Two-ee-and-ah...
The two misfits (hah...love that word) stared at each other shyly. (Somewhere, in the middle of the circle, Ralmal was probably going "AWWWW" in mid 'ee-and-ah' but you have no PROOF! So don't make ANY accusations. Thank you.)
"Uh...What was THAT all about?" Sam asked.
Danny shrugged. "No sé." (RA/N:elemia, put an accent on the e please EA/N: done.)
Sam smiled. "You look so cute when you try to speak Italian."
"Spanish." Ralmal bluntly corrected from the middle of the cirlce.
"Whatever." The misfits (lalala) looked around for any reappearing fangirls. Finding none, they turned to each other and were about to kiss when……
…..the fangirls came barging in. They must have missed their cue because they were too busy munching on doughnuts. (Those pigs.)
Sakura Haruno (EA/N: WHO I DO NOT OWN. For if I did, she would have died a horrible death. A horrible, horrible death. Involving sporks. And fire. :twitch:), the leader, screamed first. (I wonder why she's leading) She melted...Deja vu. (A/N: accents Elemia... EDIT: Nope, couldn't find them)
Danny and Sam sprang apart, clearly embarrased, while the other fangirls screamed and melted to the floor. Those stupid fangirls.
---------------------------
Focus on….Dill and Scout
"You're still here?" everyone asked.
"I thought you guyz died yo." Said the inner ghetto Elemia. That wasn't a very nice thing to say Elemia.
"Dill…your stupid socks do NOT rock my sox off!" Scout whined.
Everyone covered their ears. AHHH! Their beautiful ears! Dill said nothing. He was cheating on Scout with the goat.
Hah.
---------------------------
Focus on...( DA DA DUN) Lexa and Elemia
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"Danny." Elemia said randomly.
"Hmm?" Lexa said, half-listening.
"Lexa, do you know who I am?"
"NO...Elemia...right?"
Elemia got red. "Yeah...how'd you know?"
"You have a nose hair sticking out of your nose."
"OHMYGOSH...seriously..."
"Gotcha!" Lexa yelled mischeiviously.
Elemia punched him. From a distance it would look like she was flirting...but in reality...she was actually hurting him.
"OW!" Lexa cried. "What was THAT?"
"Your mom..."
Lexa laughed. "Hah, that was funny..."
Kimberly Ann Possible (WHO WE DO NOT OWN!) entered the room again. "Did someone choke on the hard pizza again?"
"I was serious..." Elemia protested.
"I like your sense of humor Elemia..."
Elemia looked at her hands...the hands that her stalker loves with the passion. (A/N From Elemia: OH GODS! WHY! Why bring it up? I was having a GOOD day too!) "In that case, I was kidding..."
"LOL."
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"Lexa, I have to tell you something..."
"Yeah?"
Elemia took a deep breath. She was starting to have second thoughts. But she kept hearing Ralmal's voice. Do it...You're going to have to tell him...DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...WHAT IS THAT?……………………CHICKEN...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...PIZZA...
"Okay Ralmal, that's enough."
Ralmal, who was standing behind Elemia shifted her eyes and backed away quiently. Elemia was too involved with her social love life to take out Ralmal's eyes. Plus-Ralmal was scary and WICKED green (hah hah-get it?)
"LEXA I LOVE YOU" Elemia blurted out.
Lexa was only half listening and thought he heard "I glove you" so he paid no attention. He went back to humming a stupid and yet catchy song that I do not know the name of.
"Lexa...did you hear me..."
Lexa looked UP...since he's shorter than elemia. "I don't know what you mean by 'I glove you'"
"I meant...never mind." She just hugged him instead. Lexa was shocked. I mean, seriously, how awkward is THAT. Before he could respond, the puddle of fangirls (not the noto puddle) started to reform into a human again. (This story has EVERYTHING!)
The dancers stopped dancing. Ralmal stopped reciting. Cats stopped clapping. Everyone looked at the puddle/human.
---------------------------
.223 seconds later...
Everyone gasped...it was...THE WICKED!
---------------------------
---------------------------
.2235 seconds later…
"Hee hee hee…" she cackled. The usual weaklings, (ahem…Andrew, Lexa, and Tucker…ahem) gasped and fainted. Don't worry, they'll regain conscious randomly, just like last time.
Ralmal was clearly annoyed. After all, the Witch was NOT on the guest list. "Can I help you?" she asked in a sing songy voice.
"HEE HEE HEE," the Witch said again. This time, all the guys fainted. Those wusses.
"Yeah?" said Ralmal. "Is that all you can say?"
"No," the Witch said. "That's just how I make my entrance."
Ralmal nodded….like she cared. "Lovely……look what you did to the guys……the girls are so sad……" The Wicked rolled her eyes. (a/n: I will refer to her has the wicked or the witch, for you people too SLOW to figure it out.)
The guys regained consciousness. Wow, didn't see that coming. The girls squealed in delight. Ralmal, the Witch, and the Cats stared and watched, obviously not amused.
Ralmal turned to the Wicked. "WHY are you here?"
"To order take out, what do you think?" Ralmal looked confused.
The Witch tried again. "Isn't it obvious?" Ralmal blinked. Twice.
"Why does that seem familiar?" Danny said.
The Witch was annoyed. But she should be used to the dumbness and denseness of others. After all, she hangs out with Galinda and Fiyero, remember?
"Um, the GA is silent." A bubble said. The bubble became the…Glinda.
The Witch, ignoring the blond bubbly bubble, continued speaking. "I am here for 3 reasons. One, I could hear someone screaming GAAAAHH and thought it was a wounded Animal." (EA/N: It was originally 'animal,' but I gave the novel-readers a reference there. You all know what I'm talking about.)
Sam whistled.
The Witch continued. "Two-I'm here to pick up the goat." Celia gasped.
"No…..please don't take Ashelay! I wuv him!"
"WHAT?" screamed Jake Long. "Dragon up yo!"
Silence.
"No." stated the Elemia.
"And three-I'm here in search of the one they call the 'Matchmaker.'"
Ralmal smiled. Yay, more business. Hey, a girl's gotta eat. "You want to be paired with the very self-absorbed and deeply shallow one they call Fiyerio, hmm?"
The
Wicked turned red. Actually, she turned a darker shade of green. "How
did you-"
"Because….." Ralmal started.
"….It's like DP…." Elemia continued.
"….But it's better……" (Ralmal)
"…..Cause it's real." They both finished. In unison...UNISON!
The Wicked was confused, unaware that there IS a play about the life of OZNESS. "What's Wicked?"
"That's what I asked…." Said Ralmal. "ANYWAYS……I charge for my services………"
"What?"
Ralmal thought a little. "Your broomstick."
"WHAT? NO WAY!"
Elemia, being the overly NOSY person that she is, asked "Why do you want the broomstick Ralmal?"
"Because…" said Ralmal. "I want to hit people with it….Okay Witchy, do we have a deal…or no?"
The Glinda, who was too busy toss-tossing and trying to get the Cats' attention, said "Just give her the stupid thing."
The Witch glared. "You know, not all of us can travel by BUBBLE. Matchmaker, can't I just give you the toss-toss ownership?"
"NO!" Glinda screamed. "NOT THE TOSS TOSS! ANYTHING BUT THAT! TAKE MY ARM! OR RATHER, TAKE TUCKER'S ARM INSTEAD!"
"'Oh come on..'" the wicked mimicked. "'Just GIVE her the stupid thing.'" She scoffed. "Blondes."
Glinda had had enough and snapped her fingers. "Oh no you didn't!"
"Oh yeah, whatcha gona do about it?"
The Galind then proceeded to break out into kung fu moves.
Now the Witch was mad. "You!" she pointed to the Lexa.
"What?" the Lexa said drowsily. He was just waking up from his nap. Seriously, he sleeps the time away.
"Hold my hat. It's like you-smart." Lexa obeyed and put it on his head.
Elemia covered her face in her hands and tried to disappear. Apparently, she isn't very good at it, since she's still there. "Lexa, take that off…."
"No!" the Celia protested. "He looks like Yzma!"
---------------------------
Meanwhile…not so far away…
The two witches of Oz-
"Where is Oz?" Ralmal asked, obviously clueless on the whole Wizard of Oz concept.
"It's a place." Supplied Elemia.
Ralmal brightened up. "Oh, I get it now."
-were fighting. And my lack of fighting and wrestling disables me to describe the fight. So picture it in your mind…..too bad Paulina can't.
Ralmal seized this opportunity to sneak into the fight and steal the broomstick. See, isn't she clever? While everyone else watched in amusement. Since I don't know what else to write, I'll just make the other Noto puddle reform again.
The Noto puddle reformed again. Into………the SCARECROW!
---------------------------
"Who's that again?" Ralmal said. The scarecrow, assuming Ralmal was the Witch, walked up to her and took her hand. "I love you-I can't hide my undying love for you forever……and I know I look……ugly and straw."
"I don't get it." Said Paulina.
"No you don't..." called the Witch from the fight. "It's like seeing things in a different way!"
Luckily, Ralmal had a broomstick in her hand and hit the scarecrow many times. "Back off fool!" she yelled, in her inner ghetto voice. (She is very sensitive to creepy talking scarecrows touching her hands.)
"I think you're looking for her," Ralmal pointed in the direction of the fight…...that was still raging.
The Scarecrow looked puzzled. "I'm confused-which witch is which?"
"Huh?" Da Dash said, puzzled.
"Even I got that!" said Paulina.
"You idiots!" Ralmal cried. "Especially you!" she said, pointing at the Fiyerio. She then knocked everyone unconscious with a device that she so happened to carry in her pocket.
Everyone collapsed.
---------------------------
Two days later….
Everyone woke up. Ralmal pressed the unconscious button again.
Everyone collapsed.
---------------------------
Two more days later…
Everyone woke up. Ralmal pressed the unconscious button again.
Everyone collapsed.
---------------------------
Two more days later….
Everyone woke up. Ralmal pressed the unconscious button again.
Everyone collapsed.
---------------------------
Two more days later…
Everyone woke up. Ralmal pressed the unconscious button again.
Everyone collapsed.
---------------------------
Two more days later….
Everyone woke up. Everyone tackled Ralmal.
Ralmal collapsed.
---------------------------
"Okay, now, where was I?" said the scarecrow.
"You were about to declare your love for the witch." Said Elemia. The Fiyerio looked at the Glinda. "No, the green one." Elemia said.
"Ohhhh…." He said. The ALIVE green witch waved. "Wait, is it the one on the ground?" He said, pointing at Ralmal.
Steam came out of Elemia's ears. "No….that's RALMAL….we knocked her unconscious………" she said through gritted. "Don't you REMEMBER?"
The stupid scarecrow thought a little, with his mouth hanging open and drool coming out. "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh...No."
"Well Paulina, congratulations. I can no longer call you the dumbest person on earth."
"When did you call me that?" Paulina asked.
Elemia shifted her eyes. "Uh….never…." Paulina gasped.
"Hey…..You just SHIFTED your eyes Elemia!" Paulina cried. "So now, according to the copyright, you must now take out your own eyes." Everyone stared with their mouths hanging open.
"Did Paulina just say something ubersmart?"
Andrew made those anime-style heart eyes, even though it surprises me that someone with no eyes can do that. Oh well. "It's like falling in love all over again…."
"Hey…." said Tucker. "That was MY line a couple of chapters ago."
Of course, the Cats chose this moment to cut in. "Well, I think Sam's intonation was a little off…….and she didn't hit the high note just right….and her rhythm was too fast….remember, it's one-EE-and-ah two-EE-and-ah three-EE-and-ah four-EE-and-ahhhhhhhhh."
"Toss toss," the Glinda supplied randomly.
"A little late there, don't you think?" Elemia asked.
"Yeah, that was a couple of pages ago," added the Celia. "What IS that?"
"And the toss toss was not necessARY." Elemia stated.
"Get over it," said the Cats.
"Elemia, I think I will poke out your eyes now," said Paulina in a really creepy way. The fact that she was holding a screwdriver really set the mood. Everyone who had their eyes taken out pulled out their travel-size screwdrivers and began closing in on Elemia.
Elemia was trapped-like a wounded puppay.
"Puppays rock my sox off yo!" Jake Long cried to anyone who cared. No one responded….which means no one cared.
---------------------------
"DROP YOUR SCREWDRIVERS AND STEP AWAY FROM THE ELEMIA!"
The screwdriver people turned around. It was the non-eye taken out people, being led by Lexa, minus Ralmal, because she was unconscious.
"Lexa, you came to SAVE me!" Elemia cried. She then proceeded to make those anime-style heart eyes.
"And you tell me I look stupid with this hat…." Lexa muttered. He then proceeded to karate chop the screwdrivers out of everyone's hands, along with the other non-eye poked out people.
"NO!" Paulina cried. "My plan was ruined!" She pouted a little and broke down into tears. Andrew comforted her with little success. Idiot.
"One-ee-and ah Two-ee-and-ahh Three-ee-and-ah Four-ee-and-ah," said the Cats.
"Toss toss!" (guess who?)
"Better Glinda, just make sure you're not rushing. LISTEN to the music." The robot Cats then proceeded to make the heart eyes. So did the Glinda.
"So I guess it's over between us," said the Fiyerio.
"You idiot!" cried the Wicked. "Why must you be so dense!"
"Join the club," said Sam and Elemia.
---------------------------
To those who care what happened to the other characters…
Larie was polishing her hockey puck.
Dash was practicing for his first grade spelling bee.
Ralmal had become conscious but was sleeping and dreaming about pizza….Cheese…
Salad was force feeding Tucker the carnivore some tossed salad with ranch dressing.
Tucker was eyeing the meat being eaten by Olivia and Arri a few feet away while trying to break free from the ropes tied around him.
Olivia and Arri were eating meat.
The Jake Long was painting his toenails.
The Celia was watching Jake Long paint his toenails.
Scout was digging her own grave with the broomstick.
Dill was still having an affair with the goat.
---------------------------
Back to the IMPORTANT plot...
"Okay…I forgot why I was here…..can someone please inform me again."
Elemia narrowed her eyes. "You are HERE to declare your love for the NONSLEEPING, GREEN, WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST. NEED I repeat myself?"
Fiyerio pulled out a notepad. "Can you please repeat that slower? I need to write it down."
Elemia then grabbed Paulina's PINK screwdriver from her and tried to poke out Fiyerio's eyes. But she couldn't. Because they were made out of straw. She then banged her head against the nearby wall. Then she banged Lexa's head against the wall. "Ow…" he said.
"RALMAL WAKE UP! THIS JOB IS TOO HARD!" Elemia cried while shaking the green Persian sleeping girl.
"Pepparoni….sausage…." was all Ralmal said.