Chapter 8, Part 1
Second Mistakes

Pickles fell asleep on the floor that night and yielded his warm bed to Toki. He slept rather peacefully until, at some point the next morning, a loud banging could be heard outside of his room. He gave a start."T-Toki, what th'fuck's goin' an?"

When no answer came his eyes snapped open and he sat straight up; Toki wasn't in the bed anymore. He wasn't even in the room, and as Pickles hurried to get to his feet and open the door, he realized that the shouting that was coming from outside was distinctly Norwegian. He sighed and opened the door. The drummer watched as Skwsgaar, whose room was right down the hall from his own, threw Toki's belongings out of his room. The Norwegian stood close by, trying to salvage whatever he could from the pile of now broken plane models and ripped papers of sheet music.

"You don't wants to be with me no mores?" Skwisgaar howled, grabbing Toki's little stuffed bear. The other man's eyes grew wide as he tried to reclaim the beloved stuffed animal.

"Don'ts you dare, or—"

"Ammnest you goings to lets me fuck you again?"

He glanced from his bear to the Swede and finally shook his head. "Nos. Never again."

"Fines! Then fucks you, you idiots!" and he ripped the teddy cleanly in half, laughing as the inner stuffing fell onto the floor. Pickles immediately made a move to help Toki, but stepped back. Clearly the Norwegian wanted to handle the problem himself, so the drummer quickly retreated back towards his bedroom and remained silent.

Toki sniffled and as he picked up the remaining pieces of his teddy. Tenderly he held the stuffing in his hands and pressed it close to his chest. "Skwisgaar, why ams you being like this? You're the one who whats brokes up with me in the first place!"

"But you haven't comes running back to me yet! Alls you do is hang out with stupids Pickle!" he said bitterly, grinning at the Norwegian's sorrow. Just before he stepped back into his room and slammed the door, he spat hatefully, "Ands for the record, I shoulds have left you to freeze to death back in Norway; maybe it woulds have saved me some trouble."

And Toki was left standing there in the hall holding what remained of his beloved teddy bear, trying very hard to make sense of it all. Only then, when he was left alone to think of his own sorrows and mistakes, did Pickles go up to him and place a gentle, reassuring hand on his shoulder. "C'mon, let's go."

"W-Wheres?" the guitarst asked, struggling to contain his hurt and shame. "Wheres can we go that ams away from here? Just really, really fars away..."

"I don't know, but we'll go somewhere. We don't have to stay here all day, y'know."

Toki shook his head and said mournfully, "But he'll still be here when we gets back. They'll all stills be here, and by then Skwisgaar woulds have told them."

"Fuck Skwisgaar." Pickles said curtly. "Fuck all of them."

"Buts..." he looked down and presented the drummer with his torn teddy. "he ams broke. Can you fix him?"

"I...uh..." he took the stuffed animal and shrugged. "Maybe, but let's get away from here, okay? Let's just both-"

"Why the both of us?"

He paused before saying gently, almost soothingly, "Because weren't you the one who said you were afraid to be alone?"

Toki's face paled as he nodded. "Okays, fine. We'll go..."

"Somewhere." Pickles agreed, nudging him in the direction of his room. "Go get dressed and all that crap. I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"

"Whatever." he said gloomily. "Whatever gets me out of here the fastest."

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Chapter 8, Part 2
Servant & Master

And so the two left the confines of the Mordhaus in search of better and more soothing things. Before they could leave, they had to face the others who sat in the living room. As soon as Pickles and Toki entered the room everyone stopped their mindless chatter and grew silent, all casting uneasy glances at the two men. Skwisgaar sat in his usual place strumming at his Gibson, but whenever he saw Toki walk past him he stopped and a cold grin stretched across his thin face.

"Hey, Tokis, where ammnest you-"

"None of your business." he said shortly, taking Pickles' hand. The Swede's blue eyes filled with something of envy and hatred; he slowly put down his guitar.

"Where ams you going with him of all peoples?"

"Away." Toki responded simply, his hold on the drummer's hand tightening. "Pickle says that I needs to get away from everything here—you."

Skwisgaar shifted his glare over to the drummer. "He dids?"

"Ja, and-"

"Pickle," the Swede cut Toki off. "you two ammnest goings out now? You ams fucking him?"

He turned almost as red as his hair. "I—no. That's never gonna-"

"He always was goods at beings the bitch." Skwisgaar continued, shifting slightly in his spot on the couch. "He'll listens to anything you says, no matter how disgustings it ams."

"Dude, you'd better shut your mouth, or-"

"It ammnest nice to have a servant for once, huh?"

Toki bit his lower lip and said sheepishly, "Shuts up, Skwisgaar." The Swede just laughed cruelly and resumed his guitar playing, muttering in Swedish to himself. Pickles wanted so badly to say something in retaliation—his whole frame was quaking with the effort of suppressing his insults—but Toki sensed the danger and lead him out of the house. Once they were finally alone said calmly, "Pickle, you've gots to understand something. Whats he said, it's just how he ams. You can't change him. You can't-"

"How the fuck could you fall in love with someone like that?" the drummer demanded, still fuming. "He's a fucking idiot, Toki. Can't you see that?"

He looked down and smiled a little, almost secretively. "I think I'm starting to see a lot of things now that I never haves before. Like you. Pickle. You ams-"

"I wanted to just..." Pickles glared down at the ground. "I wanted to really kill him. Everything he says about you..."

"It ams true, you know."

"No it's nat."

"Yes," Toki nodded. "It ams. I did anythings he wanted, got nothings back other than pain. He's right to thinks I'm an idiot, because I ams."

"No." he said unwaveringly. "You're not. Look, you're just—how'd you learn that much from just one bad breakup anyway?" was his final question. "How long have you two even been together?"

"Too long." he said automatically. For his second answer he said, "You haves to learn from your mistakes or you get punished again. Punished and hurt." distractedly he rubbed at his shoulder then looked up at the sky. "My dads taught me that. He thought me a lot abouts being punished."

"Are you glad he did?" Pickles asked, instinctively reaching for the guitarist's hand. "Are you glad he hurt you? Did it really make you any smarter or better?"

"I don't really know."

And so they walked in silence, content enough with just each others presence. Pickles, not knowing where else to go, retreated with the Norwegian into the sanctuary of the overgrown edge of the yard. They sat under an ancient, decrepit oak tree and gradually began speaking again. For hours they just sat there under the cool haven of the oak's dying and brown leaves, until the sun was halfway consumed by the horizon. Then, as the last few rays painted the sky orange and bright pink, Toki dared to scoot closer to Pickles and let out a content, perfectly happy sigh.

Softly he asked, "Pickle?"

"Huh?"

"You cans sings to me?"

"Sure." he said, slipping his hand into Toki's. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Anythings in Norwegian. Remembers, like I taught you?"

He grinned a little and recited all he could of a Norwegian lullaby. Once he was done, Toki laughed and let his head fall against the drummer's shoulder. "This ams nice. Skwisgaar never did any of this stuff with me, even though we was in love."

Pickles' smile faded as he stared down at the guitarist, concern flashing in his green eyes in the light of the dimming sun. "Dude, do you really think that's what love is? Don't you remember that guy you told me about—Danby? Is that how he treated you?"

He shook his head and met the drummer's gaze. His blue eyes shined with so much boyish innocence and charm as he said dreamily, "Nos, he was so goods to me; he loved me. He wanteds to be with me no matter what."

"So that was love?"

"Of course it was."

"Then how can you even compare anything that you and Skwisgaar had to that?" Pickles wondered. The more he himself thought about it, the more confused he became. If what Toki and Danby had used to have really was love, then what did any relationship he had ever been in amount to? If that was love, then what had he felt so long ago, staring into that groupie's dark, longing eyes? It wasn't what Toki and Danby had felt, of that he was sure. What had it been?

Instead of answering the drummer's question, Toki just whispered, "Do you thinks I'll ever find anyone to loves again?"

"Yeah." he said after a moment of thought. "You definitely will."

"When?"

"Whenever you're ready, I guess."

"Oh." a long moment of heavy silence passed before Toki dared to say sweetly, "Maybes I'm ready right now."

Pickles slipped an arm around his waist and pulled the Norwegian into a hug. " 'Dat's fine, then. Go find someone to love you."

"Whats about if I loved..." he couldn't complete his sentence.

The more Pickles thought about it, the more distressed he became. Toki, in love? He closed his eyes and made his mind go blank. Could it be that the guitarist made him feel what he'd always wanted to feel? He didn't speak as he ran a hand along the small of Toki's back, along his shoulders; he held his hands, affectionately ran his thumbs along the soft palm, and realized that his worst fears were confirmed. This was it, he'd finally found it. It, that feeling that far surpassed anything that the stupid groupie had made him feel long ago. No, what he'd felt for that girl hadn't been love. It couldn't have been love, because this was love, what he had right here, and it was better than anything he'd ever felt for anyone or anything.

Almost cautiously he let his hand brush against Toki's cheek. "Hey, maybe if you wanted I could..." he swallowed, tried to think of any possible way to make what he was thinking sound okay.

"Pickle, why ams you touching me like this?" the Norwegian whispered almost urgently. Silently he was begging for that answer—the only answer—that would make him happy. He pulled out of Pickles' warm, feeling embrace and sat in his lap instead.

They sat there less than an inch away from each other, each silently begging from some impossible thing from the other. Who would dare to speak his thoughts first, to ruin the moment they'd worked for so many years to achieve—surely every minute they'd been together since they day they'd met had been building up to this, so which one of them would dare?

Pickles leaned forward, wanting so badly to do it, to just forget that greater part of him that said it was wrong, but couldn't. Instead he faltered and looked down, blushing. "I...maybe we should..." Toki's eyes lost all previous signs of hope and in almost adolescent rebellion, he to turned away. He didn't speak, only made a move to rise to his feet. Before he could, however, Pickles had come to his senses and pulled him back into his arms again. "Come here." he whispered, delicately brushing some of the Norwegian's hair from his face. "Let me see your eyes. You've gat such nice eyes. I...I think I love them. I think I might love you."

"That ams that mean?" he asked, feeling his heart almost melt with a sudden warmth. As the sun behind him illuminated his features, made him look as if he were made of pure gold, he leaned closer to the drummer and inquired, "What does it really means to be in love?"

"Let me show you." he said, reaching for Toki's hand.

Slowly Pickles went in again for a kiss, but this time he didn't hesitate or quit. He pressed his lips to the guitarist's and held him tightly. Gradually everything became okay. The drummer didn't force Toki into anything, didn't make any demands of him until they were both willing and ready to deepen the kiss. They just sat there in the dusk of twilight, pulling away and meeting again in the middle until Pickles was bold enough to let his tongue snake its way into Toki's mouth. The Norwegian accepted it gratefully and let out a little panting moan in response. He closed his eyes and let Pickles do what he wanted to him until the kiss was over.

"Wh-What're you doing?" the drummer inquired, licking his lips and staring oddly at the guitarist.

Toki struggled to regain his breath. "What ams what?"

"You just undid your belt, like you were about to fuckin' strip right here." Pickles took Toki's belt in his hands and re buckled it; the Norwegian just stared at him with a puzzled expression.

"What ams you-"

"You think we're gonna have sex right here, right now, just because we kissed?"

Toki turned red and shrugged meekly as Pickles kissed his forehead. "Maybes. That ams always what me and Skwiwsgaar did."

"Yeah, and you're not with him anymore, are you?"

"No."

"You're with me now, right?"

"I...um..." he let Pickles take his hand and kiss his fingertips lightly. "I don'ts know. Are we together?"

"Only if you wanna be." the drummer muttered, pressing his lips to the palm of the guitarist's soft hand. "I'm whatever you want me to be."

"I want you to never leaves me." Toki said quietly, laying his head in Pickles' lap. "I wants you to be here with me always and sings to me and tell me that it ams okay when I get hurt—I never, ever wants you to punish me."

"I wouldn't think about doing something like that to you." he whispered tenderly, running his hands thru the Norwegian's long, smooth hair. "Never."

"You promise?"

"More than promise."

"Skwisgaar promised me that he'd nevers-"

"I'm never gonna take advantage of you, either. How does that sound?" Pickles smiled down at Toki and gently kissed the top of his head. "Do you wanna be with me?"

"Yes, buts just so long as..." his eyes filled with tears as he said painfully, "Danby always saids, he saids that I would finds someone else...he saids-"

"We should go see him." the drummer interrupted, his green eyes lighting up in the black of the night sky. "If you want we could both go to Norway and, y'know, just tell him hi. If you want, that is. I know you love him and everything, but-"

"Can we just nots talks about him?" Toki said finally. A worried look came across Pickles' face.

"But you love him. You'll always love him, and that's fine. We can talk about him if you want."

"Nos, you don't understand; I don't wants to talks about anyone or do anything that ams not with you or abouts you. I just wants to be with you tonight, not anybody or anythings else. Do you understands that?" he struggled to explain himself, and the more he spoke the worse his English became, but thankfully the drummer understood. In a moment Pickles had risen and scooped Toki up into his arms. He proceeded to carry the laughing Norwegian back to the Mordhaus.

"What the fucks ams you doing?"

"If I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna do it right, no half-assing it. You deserve better than that." He peered down at Toki and smiled at the way the light of the freshly awoken stars and crescent moon reflected from the crystal blueness of his eyes. "You deserve everything in the whole damn world. You deserve to own the whole fucking world."

"Only if you'll owns it with me." was his simple, childish response. Pickles chuckled and kissed his cheek, feeling a warm, bubbling feeling rising in the pit of his stomach—or his heart?

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Chapter 8, Part 3
The New Way

Pickles laid down on the bed next to Toki and let out a tired sigh. He stared up at the ceiling, pretending to ignore the Norwegian's perfect frame sprawled across the mattress next to him. "So, ams we going to-"

"Nope."

"Buts-"

"Ain't you ever just had one night when you laid down with someone and talked? Y'know, just hung out?"

He thought back and shook his head. "No, nevers. Things haves just happened so fast that I never really had time for any of that stuffs."

"But that is love, Toki." Pickles said, wrapping his arms around the guitarist and pulling him close. "When you can just stay up all night with someone, talk about the dumbest shit, and still find a reason for the other person to be perfect; that's love."

His face reddened as he let the drummer kiss his cheek delicately. "You thinks I ams perfect?"

"Yeah, I do."

"But why?"

Pickles smirked and ran his hands along the small of Toki's back comfortingly. "You're smile, I like that the most, 'cause it's like it makes your whole face just glow, especially your eyes. You've got such amazing eyes..." and his voice trailed off before he continued a bit more seriously, "You haven't been smiling a lot lately, though."

"Nows I am." he whispered, giving Pickles a sweet, charming smile. " 'Cause I likes making you happy."

"Then let me hold you for tonight and let's just talk, okay?"

"Okays." and he settled down in Pickles' arms and rested his head against the drummer's chest. He closed his eyes and tried to get that little grin off his face, but found that he couldn't. This was just too perfect.

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**A/N**

Yay, they're finally together! How adorable. I don't know what it is, but I just love the idea of Pickles and Toki together...kind of odd. Anyways, only one more official chapter left. After that I might just finish up with a few more poems, but it's pretty much done. I wanted to finish up this story before I go on vacation tomorrow—3 days & 2 nights of family fun...with nobody but my damn family...Whoopee. The mental anguish is excruciating, trust me.-_-

When I get back I plan to start another Poki story called, T W I S T E D. For now I hope you've enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Peace & Love