Hiya! Hopefully this is ok. Sorry it took so long.
Disclaimer : I own nothing.
Const's mascot uniform and Cooking tips
8th March
Dear Nosey Parker ,
12pm
In his excitement over the big game , Pedro has forgotten his pledge to not eat the school food. I give it three minutes before he's really ill.
12.04pm
Pedro has just been sick. Mr. Luntz is clearing it up whilst mumbling about "just you wait and see what I'm planning, kid."
12.06pm
Eunice has just slipped on the freshly mopped floor, dropping her dinner tray and leaving another fine mess for Mr. Luntz. Is it any wonder he wants to kill us?
1pm
Pedro is starting to feel a bit better, although i doubt his digestive system shall ever truly recover.
Just in case Edna is the nosey parker reading this, I've put a few cooking tips in here.
Cookery Tips for Edna
The chicken in the chicken and ketchup should be dead . Not unconsious , not wounded , dead .
If it winks at me , I'm not eating it .
However much icing you put on the burnt cake, it is still burnt. Make another one.
Please read the sell-by dates. They are there for everyone's safety and happiness. The same goes for recipies.
Stop assuming that because gravy is brown , we won't notice the difference when you run out of chocolate for desert.
Buy a bigger fruit bowl. 7 bananas and 5 apples will not feed the entire school.
When using a needle to test if a cake is fully baked, please stop using the surgical ones you find on the street. The last lime you did, there was still something in it and Sheldon started hallucinating about swedish, violin-playing, tigers.
Vegetarians are not evil. They just don't eat meat.
The food groups are vegatables, proteins , carbohydrates, dairy and sweet/fatty foods, not edible, sort-of edible and probably-won't-kill-me.
10th March
Dear Nosey Parker ,
8pm
Beatrice is refusing to do Mandy's homework on the grounds that a first year could understand it .
8.03pm
Mandy has just asked me how to do the homework .
8.10pm
Just explained Mandy's homework to her . A child of five could do it .
8.12pm
Mandy needs help again . Maybe I should just go get her a child of five .
6th March
Rude photos I have seen today:6
Times I managed to cover Karen's eyes before she could see them:4
Times I couldn't cover her eyes in time and she started screaming:2
People I saw oogling rude photos :14
Times I recognised an oogler:5(Mr. Burton should be ashamed of himself)
4pm
There are rude pictures of Mandy everywhere! Any last lingering shred of innocence I had is gone forever. I must warn Melody and the boys before they see this traumatic image.
5pm
Warned Pedro about the photos. For some reason,he's smiling.
9pm
The dorm is unnaturally quiet today. Beatrice keeps looking at Mandy and laughing.
10pm
Mandy has just told Beatrice to stop ******** laughing at her or else she will ******* **** **** into oblivion and ****** **** ************************* ! What's so wrong with the sentence "please stop laughing"?
10.05pm
Karen has only just managed to stop laughing at Mandy's colourful threat.
11th March
Dear Nosey Parker,
12pm
Melody has asked if me and Karen want to sleep in her room for a bit because Lola has said that she doesn't want us to be negatively infuenced by Mandy. According to Melody, she actually said "I can't believe that ******** **** is allowed to ******** share with first years when there's pictures of her ******** **** all oer ******** Bullworth." .My vocabulary is getting considerably larger.
12th March
Dear Nosey Parker,
3.15pm
Just saw Hopkins spray-painting over the posters. Maybe I've misjudged him.
15th March
Dear Nosey parker,
4.15pm
Const isn't in the library because he has to practice the mascot dance for the Big Game. You'd think that the Academy would be able to think of something a bit more original than the Bullworth Bull.
16th March
Dear Nosey Parker,
3.56pm
Const has a black eye! He won't tell me what happened.
Trying to change the subject , I asked him about the Mascot thing. In response, he's went off in a huff. Typical .
18th March
Dear Nosey Parker ,
11pm
Bo has got me a front seat for the game. I'm going there a bit early to eat my dinner. Unfortunately, the cheer-leaders have insisted on buying me various merchandise for the game , that's Karen's Christmas present sorted out.
21st March
Dear Nosey Parker,
11am
Here it is - the day of the big game. Karen is dancing about like a mad woman. She's got the day off to watch practice with me (she did this by pretending to be ill when Mrs. Peabody came to check on her , then jumping out the window the second she left. hopefully, the bruises should heal eventually).
12pm
Melody has came down to watch the practice with us. Lola has donated three boxes of chocolates(courtesy of various boyfriends) to us. She really is a lovely woman.
12.10pm
Just saw Const in his mascot outfit. Waved but he's ignoring me. Twit.
12.12m
Const is putting glue on the bench!
12.13pm
Juri is stuck to the bench . I would've went to help, but last time I helped yank Pedro out of a bin I nearly put my back out, so I doubt I'd have been much use. Plus, he put Pedro in the bin in the first place so **** him.
1.09pm
There's been a technical error with the scoreboard . It now reads "Jocks play with their balls.". Like we honestly didn't realise that. Melody won't stop laughing.
1.12pm
It turns out that Jimmy somehow got hold of Const's uniform. He's now fighting the football team.
Hopkins' Obituary
James Hopkins.
Aged 15.
Vandal,Womaniser and general annoyance.
You have no one but yourself to blame for this.
1.25pm
I don't believe it. I don't believe it! Hopkins is still alive!
1.30pm
Ted Thompson is on the floor in a heap and Hopkins is doing a big victory speech. I still don't believe it!