Chapter 11: The Void

As the elevator doors closed, Shinomiya Kojiro slipped his hands in his pockets and grunted in annoyance. He vividly remembered the outline of her lips as she pursed them together, looking completely regretful of the words she just said. But the way he felt about those words, however, felt like a bad love song stuck in his head. The more her voice reverberated in his mind, the more he grew accustomed of the need to hear it over and over again.

"That woman…" he clicked his tongue in ire. He was sure that he needed a glass of wine to clear his thoughts tonight.

On the other hand, Bella found herself in the most awkward and undesirable situation. Donato sat across her, hearing her tell him all about the whole "friends with benefits" setup she had with Shinomiya. He handled it with utmost care, careful not to react so violently over everything that has happened so far. The last thing he wanted to do, what he ever wanted to do was to scold her about her life choices.

"How long have you known?" She asked.

"For a while now...but I wasn't sure about it."

"How did you find out?"

"Lucky guess," he chuckled. "But, I've always had a feeling since the night the two of you met."

"I'm sorry." she sadly whispered as she swirled her fingertips on the rim of her tea cup.

"For what?" he asked with concern, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"I...I've been keeping it from you for the longest time."

He sighed and gave her a gentle smile. "Ma, Isabella, my only concern is your happiness. The question is, are you happy right now?"

Was she? Two weeks ago, probably when they were both in a state of bliss. But now that there was sweating, rapid hearts beating, and second-guessing...she had to re-evaluate her disposition. "I'm fine, Chef Donato."

"I'm not asking if you're fine. I know you are and you always will be. I'm asking if this is what makes you happy right now." he elucidated. But she merely looked back down to her now empty cup of tea in reply. "You've developed feelings for him…" he stated.

"I -" she almost protested. But she shut her mouth once she realized that she can't even admit it to herself. "I...missed him."

It was clear to him that she was confused. It was quite an unusual situation, seeing as Bella was always better at considering people's emotions. But he acknowledge how difficult it was for her, especially since love and relationships had taken the backseat in her life. Being her mentor and most of all, friend, he tried his best to help her figure things out. "The same way you miss me? Or Ruth? Or Hinako? The staff at Tesoro?"

She shook her head. "No, it's…" she bit her lower lip in hesitation. "It's like...I couldn't wait to see him, and I hate myself for messing it up because of my stupid feelings."

"No," he immediately scolded. "Do not be sorry for feeling the way you feel about him."

But she couldn't help but feel sorry for herself. She buried her face in her hands and groaned, "I'm just gonna move on from this."

"What do you mean?"

She looked up, took in a sharp breath and sat up straight. "I'm going to let this go. I'm done with this."

"Bella," he tried to console her.

"What was I thinking, getting involved like this?" she shook her disapprovingly. "But no matter, I'll move on from this. I always do."

Donato looked at her with concern. Here she was again, running away. He hadn't even gotten to giving her advice, and yet, here she was, practically bolting through the door to get away from catching even more feelings. "Is that what you really want to do?" he tried to sound supportive, just enough to give her more time to assess her feelings about it.

She sighed, "It's the only thing I can do."

On the second day of the advancement exam, Bella entered the kitchen at 7:45 in the morning with two cups of coffee. It was quiet, and almost empty, except for Kojiro who was scrolling through his phone. She placed one cup on the counter and pushed it to him before sitting on the other end quietly.

He stared at the cup and then to her. "What's this?"

"Un cafe serre," she simply replied, taking a sip of her own cup. "It's gonna be a long day."

Indeed it would be. The morning was the second cooking challenge, wherein they would have to choose only one pair to compete for the third day. The afternoon was mentoring the chosen pair in preparation for the final bout.

"Merci," he said, taking a sip.

"Prego."

Two languages - but it was completely understandable for both of them. Their feelings, however, were lost in translation.

It didn't take long for the students to start showing up. It was a relief for both of them, since being alone together was beginning to be uncomfortable. "Bella," Shinomiya called. She quietly looked at him and anticipated what he had to say. "Your dish today." he instructed.

"My dish?" she questioned.

"Did I stutter?" he spat.

"But you're head chef."

"Your dish." he firmly stated, trying to end all arguments.

She was confused as to why he would turn over the full responsibility to her. But not being in the mood to question his choices, she nodded her head and decided to just go with it. "With your support?" she wanted to make sure.

"Obviously."

She whipped out the white ribbon from her pocket and effortlessly put her hair up. Bella was never one to care about having an audience. Being around people with her job description and all, she was so used to have all eyes on her. However, this time, she felt an insane amount of pressure since the only pair of eyes that mattered to her was his.

When the time of judgement came, Shinomiya and Bella concluded with choosing Yukihira and Tadokoro to compete for the final bout. It came as no surprise to Shinomiya that his two mentees would be the one to produce the best rendition of the dish in their class, even beating the Aldini siblings, considering that they were Italian and Bella's specialty was Italian cuisine.

"I need to talk to you," she spoke, wiping her hands with a clean towel. They were done for the morning, and it was a little over lunch time when they were left alone in the kitchen. Shinomiya turned to her with a bemused expression on his face. "I need you to go through with me some information about Shino's France." she explained, smoothing her untied locks in place.

"When do you need it?" he asked, surprised at how much of a workaholic she can be. The day wasn't even over yet, and she was already thinking about other responsibilities.

She checked the time and sighed. "Well, it's lunch time already. So, maybe later. Basically, any time within the day. I just want to get the information to Reo as soon as possible. He isn't really the most patient person."

"After the afternoon session."

"Alright, let's just meet at the lounge." she said, clearing up the counter.

Her reply caught him a little off guard. "The lounge?"

She turned to him. "Yes, the one in the main lobby. Near the reception area?"

He wasn't an idiot. He knew where the lounge was. The real question was why there? Why not in his room or hers?

"I know where it is," he clicked his tongue. "Why not my room instead?"

"Oh," her mouth rounded. She face the sink and continued cleaning up. The metal couldn't get any shinier with all her wiping, in attempt to stall the situation. "I just think it's more productive that way."

Lies.

"You're not avoiding me, are you?"

"Of course not."

Bullshit.

She suddenly felt his fingertips cupping the edge of her chin. He nudged her to face him, and he was greeted with wide, misty eyes. "You're avoiding me."

With a quick sweep of her hand, she rid herself of his touch. "How can I be avoiding you, when I'm the one setting up a meeting with you later?"

True, but she was being highly technical about it. Shinomiya was starting to get agitated. "You're being awfully defensive."

"Shinomiya," she spat, slowly losing her cool. She already had a headache from the lack of sleep from replaying last night over and over her head. "I mean, Chef Shinomiya, I just think its better to meet in the lounge."

"No, we're meeting in my room." he firmly countered.

She clenched her fist in frustration. "No, Chef. We're meeting in the lounge."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't have all day to argue about this, Bella. We're meeting in my room. That's final."

"I'm not going to show up!"

There was silence.

"What is up with you?" he groaned. Then he noticed how her body froze as she kept her eyes on him. He took a step forward and placed his hand over her arm. She nearly winced at his touch. "Is this about what you said last night?"

She looked up and met his eyes. So, he did hear it. "Yes," she breathed out reluctantly, which earned his silence in return. "I…" she stammered, her hands moving to animate her emotions, as she struggled to get them out. "I can't be in a room with a bed with you anymore."

He arched a brow towards her. "Why not?"

She clenched her fist, feeling frustrated at herself for being stuck for words.

His hand moved from her arm to her chin, and he drew her to him, meeting her lips. It was the most unusual feeling, a painful yet yearning sensation altogether, but they couldn't help themselves. They both knew they would rather have this confusing headache than be without it. But something that Donato said last night echoed in Bella's head.

Does it make you happy?

She pulled away and leaned against the counter, panting for air. "I- I can't." she said almost pleadingly. Bella straightened herself and moved away. But before she could take another step away from him, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

As held her waist, he asked, "Are you falling in love with me?"

"I...don't know."

But that's the thing about not knowing. There's a high chance that it might be a yes, more so than a no. He saw the way she looked at him, eyes pleading for another kiss. But there was also something he'd never seen before, confusion and desperation to give this whole thing a name.

"Please...don't ask me again." she whispered.

It surprised him to see how helpless she was. In her waking moments, she had always been so tenacious and focused. But there was always that certain charm to finding her needing his help. It was even the first time Shinomiya realized he could potentially fall in love with her.

She placed her hands on his chest and slowly made a gap in between them. "Work comes first," she reminded him. "The lounge, Chef. Please."

As she made her way out the door, she stopped at the sight of a girl with midnight blue hair. "...Tadokoro?" her brows knit together as the girl shuddered with horror. "What are you...and Yukihira."

How long had they been standing there?

"Ah...Chef Bella, sorry, we came back for my wrap." Yukihira awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "I had no idea you and Shinomiya were…" he trailed off, but stopped the second that Megumi forcefully tugged the sleeve of his diner uniform to shut him up.

Bella gave them a tight-lipped smile. "It's fine. If you'll excuse me." she replied and made her way out of Kitchen A. Whatever Yukihira had to say about them was now none of her concern.

Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter was supposed to be longer...but I feel like I just needed to update already. The thing that stopped me from writing this longer was the news that...SHOKUGEKI IS OVER?! LIKE WTF IS THAT?! I'm so sad - grieving about this news! How could they end the manga already? Yeah, I know there's like 3 more limited chapters coming out soon...but, CHAPTERS?! Not even an entire volume or something? This made me so sad! How do you guys feel about this?