Yay new chapter! Oh man, sorry it took so long to update! I have my tennis elbow back full-strength, which is so weird, considering I haven't played tennis in well over a month. Anyway, it doesn't hurt now, so I took advantage of this and finished up this chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 11: More or Less

"Don't quit because of some jerk," Baralai says, shaking his head. "Honestly Yuna, you have a talent; you'd even make a good scout. And we don't usually have female scouts, so that would be a huge deal and…" Baralai trails when he realizes that I'm not listening. I'm not even looking at him. I'm just looking down at the tissue I'm holding in my lap, my eyes now dry.

"No, I should just go," I say. "Thanks for everything."

"Yuna, don't do this," Baralai says, standing up as I do. His eyes are on mine and are shining with intensity, intensity I usually only see in Tidus' eyes, when Tidus has the ball and is swimming toward the net. Baralai's good hand is outstretched toward me, almost as if he's going to grab my arm, but knows he shouldn't.

"Baralai," I say, keeping my voice firm, "I have to. Really, thanks for everything. But I just… can't, Baralai." I don't know if he understands, but I hope he does. I can't stay, and most importantly, I can't be with him.

He simply looks at me, shakes his head, and runs his hand through his hair. He lets out air and shrugs his shoulders. "You're making a mistake," is all he says.

"I know in my heart what's right for me," I just say, separating every word. "Goodbye."

I put my hand on the doorknob again and twist it. I pause for a second before opening the door, wondering if I'm really doing the right thing. I mean, Baralai's an okay guy but… I stop. There's nothing there.

Finally, I push open the door and close it softly, and then feel myself jump slightly as I notice Tidus sitting on the bench to the right outside of Baralai's office, his eyes on me, his mouth slightly agape. He's leaning forward with his elbows resting gently on his knees, his hands clasped.

"Yuna," he says after a few silent seconds pass. "Yuna, look, I—."

I simply turn around and start walking in the opposite direction. I'm not in the mood, not even for Tidus. I'm still clenching the tissue in my hand as I walk, and I think I hear Tidus stand up, but I don't bother to look back.

That is, until I feel a hand on my arm.

I turn around quickly, and almost run right into Tidus, for he must have been literally running after me. His mouth is still agape (and he looks kind of dorky, but cute at the same time) and his eyes are wide, almost as if he doesn't believe what he's doing.

"Yuna, wait," he says to me, and I feel his grasp on my arm lighten as he drops my arm.

"What?" I just ask him, my tone full of impatience. In all honesty, I'm about to cry, and I do not want to do so in front of Tidus.

"Can we just… talk?" he says, his mouth shutting.

"About what, Tidus?" I ask, my tone still abrupt.

"About, you know, things," Tidus says. So far, every sentence that has come out of his mouth sounds like a question, almost as if he doesn't really know what to say, or doesn't know why he's saying what he's saying.

I don't answer, and Tidus must have took my silence to be contemplation, for he continues. "We could just hit up that café down the road and talk. I'll even, um, pay." Now it's like he's trying to bribe me.

And for some reason, that's when I start to cry. I simply break down, and it's actually rather painful. I double over, as though I had just been punched, tears flying out of my eyes. I attempt to dab at my eyes with the tissue that Baralai had handed me, but the pain in my stomach is too great. It literally feels as though something inside of me exploded.

Tidus stands there, looking completely dumbfounded. His mouth is agape again, and if the pain wasn't so strong, I might have laughed. I'm angry at him now. I think of the word 'doofus' instead of the word 'cute'.

I finally get myself together, and I start heaving, as though I can't breathe, but at least the tears are gone.

"Are you… okay?" Tidus asks me slowly, hesitantly. "Do you need another Kleenix?"

"No, I'm fine," I say, every word coming out painfully. "It's just that my stomach hurts…"

"Oh…" Tidus says, dragging out the 'o' for what seems like a full minute. I figure it's because he's trying to act as though he understands when really, he has no clue.

See, I keep everything in my stomach. Everything. And now, it must all be surfacing: my frustration toward Tidus, my feelings toward Tidus (which, come on, are the most complicated feelings in the entire universe), everything with Baralai, and everything about this internship/summer. It's painful.

Tidus looks truly concerned though. I can see it in his eyes. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that he cares. I don't know.

"Um, do you need water or something?" he asks. Now he kind of looks disgusted. I realize that maybe he thinks I'm going to throw up.

"No, I'm fine," I say, and I force myself to straighten out. "I'm sorry, I just…" I pause and look up at him and give him a wry smile. "Um, had a breakdown."

To my surprise, Tidus laughs. He laughs. "Oh man," he says, "that was a breakdown? You didn't even slam anything or throw anything…" he trails, and then looks sheepish. "Well, that's what I do when I have a breakdown. I freak, you know. The guys call me a spazz. 'Prolly not a good thing to be known as…" Now he's rubbing the back of his neck. I think my heart just melt. Any anger I felt before is now gone.

"Coffee…" I say, very softly. "Did you say something about a café?"

"Y-Yeah," Tidus says, his eyes brightening.

"I'll go with you," I say, and I attempt to give him a wry smile. Now he's looking at me like I might be crazy, but he slowly nods, and starts walking toward the exit. I follow, feeling…well, strange. I feel nothing, actually. No excitement, no dread, no nothing. I'm not nervous, but I'm not calm, either. I almost feel numb.

He opens the door to the exit, and tosses a look back at me, and gives the door an extra shove so that he technically opens it for me, but can keep walking at the same time. I follow at what I consider to be a safe distance—not too far, but not too close, my eyes on him as he walks.

After about twenty steps, my heart finally begins to pound. I have no idea what's about to happen, and for the time being, I've assumed that I was going to see the real Tidus. The Tidus I had been waiting for all summer. But what if I was wrong? I just continued forward, knowing I'd have to find out the hard way.

-

Tidus orders a coffee, supposedly made from the finest of Kilika coffee beans. He hasn't said anything to me, except for "What do you want?" I tell him I can get my own, but he simply says, "Make that two coffees." I feel a little shocked by his decision to just buy me a coffee, but a part of me kind of likes that about him. He's not about to put up with any crap I might give him.

Tidus dumps a ton of sugar into his coffee. I'm talking like, he has more sugar than coffee. And then, just when I thought he couldn't possibly get anything else into the coffee mug, he then turns to the cream and dumps the cream into his coffee.

He takes a stir rod and half-heartedly stirs it, his blue eyes looking dim and full of thought as he slowly twirls the rod around his coffee, mixing up what must be gallons of sugar and cream. I pour a little bit of sugar into my coffee, followed by a little bit of cream, and then follow his lead by stirring it all together.

Finally, he grabs his mug and starts toward a table, eying each table as though he's scrutinizing them for the best one.

He finally chooses the last table in the very back and pulls out his seat to sit down, and gives me a strange look as I sit down. He immediately looks away and sits down as well, and I don't bother to try to guess what that look was for. Alright, so I had a guess, and quite frankly, it made my heart melt a little. I think he was wondering if he should pull my chair out for me.

"So," Tidus says softly, his eyes now on mine, "I hope you like coffee."

"It's fine," I say, giving him another wry smile.

He's looking at me still, his eyes seeming to go right through me, as he still twirls around the stick absent-mindedly in his coffee. I stare back at him, unsure of what to do. It's impossible to read him though, and quite frankly, his stare is quite blank, almost as though he actually isn't thinking about anything.

Silence has fallen on us now, and I have no idea if Tidus is planning on saying anything else or not. He just stares at me.

Finally, he takes out the stir rod and lays it on the table and then takes a drink. He sets the mug down, and looks back at me, and this time, I sense some thought in his head.

"Did you do this internship just because of me?"

The bluntness of the question seriously almost knocks me out of my chair. Is he really asking me this? my mind screams. Of course, almost simultaneously with my mind, I respond to Tidus's question: "No."

Tidus doesn't seem shocked. He just lifts his mug and takes another sip of his coffee.

"So you like blitzball then?" he asks.

"Y-Yes, of course," I say. Wow, I just lied to Tidus, my mind is now saying. Actually, maybe I'm imagining it, but I thought I saw disappointment flicker in Tidus' eyes when I told him my answer. But I simply keep my ground. I can't let him think I'm a creep, after all!

Tidus is now drumming his fingers on the table, and he looks over his shoulder for reasons unknown to me. Then, he leans forward and says, "Why so much interest in me?"

"B-Because," I say, and I find myself giving him a disgusted look. I'm not sure if the look is because I'm annoyed at his bluntness or because he doesn't know the true answer. I blink, and then look at him. Alright, I decide, now it's my turn to ask the questions.

"So how come you've been a total jerk this whole summer?" I asked, and if I had written that out to him, I definitely would have bolded, underlined, and italicized the word "jerk."

Tidus gives me a very serious look, and I might have been afraid of his reaction, but not much was about to scare me now. (Especially not after just facing Tidus asking me all the questions I had hoped he'd never ask me.)

"I haven't been a jerk," Tidus says with a very straight face. I open my mouth to argue with him, but catch a smile prying on his lips, as though I've guessed his game or something.

"Care to explain why Baralai hates you so much?" I ask, after realizing that Tidus is just going to sit there smiling as though he's proud of himself without any explanation.

To this, Tidus laughs. "Oh, Baralai? He's got something up his ass. Like, maybe there's a blitzball up there or something, who knows."

Tidus looks at me with raised eyebrows, as though he's proud of himself for coming up with that. I'm not sure if it's his comment or the pride in his eyes, but I laugh. He smiles at my laughter, and lifts his mug to take another drink.

"It seems like there's something between just you and him," I say, a smile still on my lips, because, who knows, maybe I think it's funny that Tidus and Baralai don't get along. "After all, Cetan seems to like him."

"Cetan gets along with everybody and anybody," Tidus explains, shaking his head. "Which is why I don't understand why he has such a slut for a girlfriend."

"What?" I find myself saying, almost into my coffee, for I had lifted it to my mouth. I remember Cetan's girlfriend pretty well.

"Oh yeah, like half the team has slept with her."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I feel a sly smile grow on my lips and I say (while we're asking blunt questions), "Have you slept with her?"

Tidus gives me a strange look. He doesn't appear shocked or angered or taken-aback. His eyelids are narrowed, but not in an angry way. He leans back, and I see him tuck the corner of his lip beneath his teeth.

"I'm not one for blondes," he finally answers. I'm not really sure if that is a yes or no, but I take it as a possible no. "And what about you and Baralai."

I almost choke on my coffee. "Baralai and I?" I say. "Um, absolutely nothing is going on between Baralai and I."

"He seemed pretty reluctant to have you quit," Tidus mentions. I shoot him a suspicious glance. Was he listening in on our conversation?

"Yeah, I guess he did," I answer with a shrug. "But…" I pause. I look up at Tidus then, and I say, "Why are you talking to me right now?"

"What?" Tidus says, with a truly clueless smile on his face. "Why wouldn't I?" Now I don't know if he's just being sarcastic or not.

"You've kind of avoided me all summer and been kind of… mean to me," I finally choke out the words.

Tidus' blue eyes roll, and he says, "Sorry, I was just shocked to see you."

Well, an apology is one thing, but he looks down at his coffee, and he appears almost angry.

"I didn't want to be a jerk," he continues, his tone almost childish. "I just thought… you know, I just thought…" He keeps trailing and I realize he probably doesn't even know what to say. "I just thought I had to be that way," he finally says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, you know," he says, shrugging as he talks, "blitzball players have to be sure of themselves and confident and you know, stuff like that. And I…" He trails again and shakes his head.

I narrow my eyes at him, and I feel a smile slowly creeping onto my lips. "And you're not like that," I finally finish for him.

Tidus looks up at me, and gives me a look as though he's bored with me or something. "I wasn't going to say—."

"You're lacking the confidence. So you act like a jerk to make up for it," I simply say.

"That's not—."

"Then what is it?" I ask.

"Well, it's not that. I don't act like a jerk to everyone."

"So just to me then?" I say, and for some reason, I feel myself start to grow angry. "What, do you like me or something so then you decide to act like a jerk because while you may have the confidence out in the sphere you actually don't have any confidence with girls?"

Tidus looks at me. He doesn't appear happy. He opens his mouth as though he's going to say something, but closes it. Then, he picks up his stirring rod, sticks it back into his almost-empty coffee, and begins to stir again.

"Maybe," he says.

He doesn't look at me, and it doesn't matter if he did, for I can't breathe, and it's almost as though my vision is blurring.

Did Tidus just say "maybe"?