Warnings: Language, Scorpia Rising spoilers

Disclaimer: This is a work of FanFiction using characters from the Alex Rider series, intellectual property and copyright of Anthony Horowitz.

"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

Leonardo da Vinci

"Alex?"

Alex looked up from the crouch he was in near his wardrobe. Sabina was stood in the doorway of his room with her hair tied back into a messy ponytail. The scrappy jeans and an old college t-shirt that hung off her shoulders were rumpled. He guessed she was packing as well.

It had been eight weeks since their trip to England. The days had rolled by quickly, much as they were prone to do when you wished you had a little more time. It had all happened surprisingly quickly, there was no forward chain from the house in Chelsea and as all four of them were originally British citizens, the paper trail was considerably shorter than it would have been under any other circumstances. It would be their last week of high school next week and then they would travel the Atlantic, back to the place Alex was both dreading and anticipating.

"Do you want a hand with packing?" Sabina asked as she moved into the room and perched on the edge of his bed. Alex watched her with a plain face before he shook his head.

"I've only got a little bit left."

"You only started this morning."

"I haven't got a lot of stuff," Alex replied offhandedly, crossing his arms across his front in an act of mocking casualness. Her eyes narrowed at him for a second and he wondered if she was going to vocalise whatever thought had crossed her mind, before she stood and made for the door. He watched her go with only a little surprise at her restraint as she turned in the doorframe with a frown on her face.

"If you don't want my help, you could just say that," Sabina said quietly looking genuinely hurt. Alex wondered what to say in response to that, but before he even had a chance to contemplate whether he should respond or not, she'd already gone and the light click of a door further down the hall signalled her retreat into her own room.

Alex couldn't bring himself to be bothered by her abrupt exit, it was becoming a more common occurrence as the move approached. The atmosphere within the whole house was tense. Edward had spent many hours on the phone, arranging flights and conversing with both estate agents and employers for their return. Liz had kept the common household running as well as arranging people to replace her in the San Francisco branch of her boutique that was remaining open following their departure and Sabina had spent the majority of her time in her room, sorting through the absolutely ridiculous amount of clothes and stuff she owned.

Although, he truly did wonder if that was all she was doing.

He'd had enough experience of the young woman to know that she was anything if not efficient. It seemed an odd trait for her to have taken so long to simply sort through the things she used every day. It was an even odder trait for her to be the one to make an excuse not to linger downstairs and wile away the hours in the lounge with her parents in front of the TV.

But overall, he really didn't take all that much notice. With everyone busy, it had taken away some of the scrutiny from him.

He still did all the obligatory activities; ate meals with them, walked to school with Sabina, went out with her friends, but nobody seemed too bothered if he didn't seem all that interested.

That particular part suited him just fine.

Alex turned back to the wardrobe and pulled out the final box labelled miscellaneous in a script he didn't recognise. Placing it on the desk, he checked that his own bedroom door was closed before ripping the tape from the top. Pulling it open he was presented with a colourful myriad of trinkets. Things he hadn't seen in a long time glared back up at him with all the intensity he'd missed when they had been placed around the Chelsea house he once resided in.

With a frown he picked up a large leather bound book that he didn't recognise. He'd never packed this box the same as he never unpacked it once he'd arrived in America. It had been placed along with the three others that had been shipped over with him in the bottom of his wardrobe.

Out of sight, out of mind he'd reasoned with himself. It was supposed to be a fresh start and he'd assured himself that he would go through the contents of the boxes that had followed him around the world once he was settled.

Now it was just a good excuse to shift it from the wardrobe and into the dump pile. Two of the boxes labelled as "clothes" had made the rubbish pile without being opened. If they were his; they'd be too small. If they were Jack's or maybe even Ian's; he didn't need them.

The third box from the cupboard had been filled with things from his bedroom, books, cd's, posters, everything that had once been within the four deep blue walls of his room in London. It had only taken a quick scan through the contents and pulling out a couple of CD's that he forgot he owned before the rest was thrown in the same pile as his clothes.

Alex glanced at the two piles of items, the one that would be thrown away was a lot bigger than the neatly packed boxes he was going to be taking back with him before he turned back to the final one he had to tackle. He turned the book over in his hand before flicking open the front cover. He almost threw it straight onto the rubbish pile when he saw the name just inside the front cover.

Jacqueline Starbright – Uni and beyond.

Alex stared at the cover page and through it he could feel the indents of paper. He knew she had always had a sentimental streak and was strangely fond of taking pictures but he'd never seen any the results of her "snap happy" demeanour. Ian had always been a little touchy about photographs being in the main house.

It was strange how all his Uncle's little traits where suddenly making a lot more sense.

He pulled open the first page and looked at the picture of Jack holding a simple carry on, dressed in a bizarre combination of clothes at what was evidently an airport. He didn't remember seeing her like this and deduced it must have been before she even travelled to England and had required the funds and a room that caused her to lodge with Ian and himself.

He flicked through the first couple of pages, they were similar pictures to the first of a Jack he recognised but couldn't really remember. He didn't study them too much. He felt like he was intruding into a part of her life that he had no right to view and just as he flicked past a final picture of Jack and her parents he was about to close it and put it on the "discard" pile.

That was until he saw a very familiar blonde head of hair in the next picture. The picture must have been taken by someone else, maybe a resident of wherever they were visiting. It definitely wasn't England. The sunlight was too bright, the sand too white, the water too blue and Ian's stance was too casual. The image as a whole wouldn't have been out of place in a family photo album, three faces were smiling at the photographer while stood in beach wear that revealed more skin that he would be willing to now.

Strangely, there were no memories triggered from the picture and it was morbid curiosity that made him stare at the two people who had once been the most poignant in his life. Stranger still was that it didn't hurt to know that they weren't there anymore, he was sure it should have done. Instead it was like he was viewing pictures of someone else and that wasn't his face grinning up at himself. It wasn't his uncle stood with a hand on his shoulder. It wasn't his Jack that had a hand loosely connected with Ian's behind the child's back-

Alex blinked.

He flicked to the next one and the next and the next again, stopping only when he came across a picture of an event that he did actually remember.

"We should get one of these!" Jack exclaimed as she stopped by a red Ford Galaxy. Alex looked up at Ian with an amused smirk, his uncle seemed to find the proposition just as funny. Jack crossed her arms over her front,

"What?" she asked with a pout. Alex smothered a laugh behind his hand, Ian looked down at his nephew, at 5'6" he wasn't short for a 13 year old, but still came up short against Ian.

"I got this one, Ian," Alex said as he walked over towards Jack. He pulled a serious look over his face, opened the front door and gestured to the driver's panel.

"Top of the range, M'am. Everything is perfectly placed and easy to read, with authentic retro l.e.d green glow , all wrapped up with superglue and perfect Taiwan plastic," He knocked against the dash, it made a dull thudding noise and Jack opened her mouth to speak. Alex placed a finger to his lips and pulled open the back door.

"Very practical," he gestured again, Ian's smirk widened. "Enough seating for 6 passengers. Perfect for all those little brats you're planning on having and the seats are made of perfectly shampoo-able nylon. Designed in granny grey to disguise the stains when those "little accidents" happen."

Jack was glaring at him now but she said nothing as Alex moved and this time opened the boot. "In here there is plenty of space for moving boxes when you have to sell your house for equity because you have ploughed all your money into a cheap piece of crap that breaks down all the time."

Alex closed the boot and Ian was grinning behind Jack. Alex crossed his arms and straightened his back with a shrewd look on his face, one that would have fitted perfectly on the most dodgy car dealer in the London area.

"Now, can I interest you finance?"

Ian let out a bark of laughter and Alex grinned at the redhead. She huffed. "Have I ever told you two I hate you?"

"Many a times," Ian agreed as he walked over, he patted Alex's shoulder. "Nice acting, Alex."

"Right, so seeing as how it's my birthday present," Jack interrupted with a sceptical look. "What exactly do youtwo have in mind?"

Ian immediately pointed to a BMW sat in one corner, Alex looked over with a frown and shook his head.

"Too masculine and too much like yours," He reported. Ian looked at him with a raised eyebrow, the challenge had been set in that instant. Alex took a moment to look around the showroom, his eye caught on something tucked into the back corner and he lifted himself to his tiptoes to get a better look. He grinned and took off at speed, walking towards it with the confidence of someone who knew exactly what they wanted. Jack and Ian shared a look before following after him. Jack stopped dead when she saw it. Ian nodded, an appraising look on his face as he looked between Jack and the car.

"Nice choice kiddo," Ian acknowledged. Jack walked forwards with something akin to reverence on her face and touched the bonnet of the bright red Mini Sports Coupe with a gentle hand. She beamed before pulling both Ian and Alex into a hug.

"It's perfect!"

Ian gave him a sly thumbs up. Alex smirked and pulled away from Jack, much in the embarrassed teenager way he did at that age, leaving Ian to her crushing embrace for a few more seconds. Ian moved away with a roguish smile.

"You deserve it, Jack," He said quietly, before turning to the approaching salesman and walking to the office with the man, leaving Jack admiring the "perfect" car that had been picked out three days before and Alex successfully completing the task Ian had set to get her to agree to the purchase, without telling her they'd already paid the deposit.

Alex closed the photo album with more force than he meant to, the movement casting a dull thud into the air. He shouldn't have been surprised. Now he thought on it there had to be something that had kept Jack around for eight years. Kept her around through all the times Ian had disappeared in the middle of the night, all the calls from the school because Alex done something stupid, all the times she'd had the chore's around the house because Ian had been involved in some form of "accident" on a business trip.

He'd thought it was him.

Now the evidence proved contrary and this time when he glared at the cover of the photo album held tightly in his white knuckled hand it did hurt.

Not because they weren't here. The grief he had been expecting to feel from the viewing of the pictures, was hidden behind this most recent revelation.

It hurt, because they'd lied and like so many of the other revelations of his past, he would never know the truth.

Unlike the others of his past he couldn't understand why they'd never said anything. But somewhere in the back of his mind, things were connecting together and being interpreted to provide an answer as to why.

Alex put the photo album back into the box and dumped the whole thing onto the rubbish pile before flopping onto his bed and closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. He didn't like the conclusions that seemed to be forming in his mind as he laid there and stared up at the ceiling. He pushed himself upright and grabbed a pair of tracksuit bottoms from the box he'd already packed, needing to get up, go out, do something to distract himself from the thought train.

Because he knew Jack, knew that her stubborn nature would never accept the "I fell over" excuses that Ian always used to feed him, but the possibility of the other was just incomprehensible.

Jack couldn't have known, Alex firmly insisted as he yanked his bedroom door open and jogged down the stairs. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew she had, whether or not she'd acknowledged it or even knew the details. But she'd decided not to say a thing, instead she chose to act oblivious for Alex's sake. That was the part that hurt most of all, because it was a real "Jack" thing to do.

She'd done everything, including lying – the one thing she hated - to keep him safe and when it came down to it, even though he started with the best intentions, he could do absolutely nothing to return the favour.

He wondered if it was even worth trying anymore.

Alex pulled his jacket around him gently as the night breeze ruffled his hair where he was sat atop the cliff overlooking the Golden Gate bridge. He listened to the sound of the cars as they drifted past, watching as they crossed over the bridge before each light disappeared somewhere on the horizon beyond his eyes reach.

He liked it up here. The sea air ran across his face, the quietness that surrounded the very rarely walked area was exactly what he had been needing when he had first snuck out three weeks ago in the dead of night.

It was the night before they were due to depart, he'd watched all through school time as other students had approached Sabina with commiserations of her departure and well wishes for her future. He'd stood to one side, listening stoically as the words were passed between them and promises to keep in touch were exchanged.

He wondered how many of them she would be breaking.

When school started to draw to a close, Alex found himself sat in the back of Edward's car watching as a group of people congregated around her but completely unwilling to join the fray and bid his own goodbyes. He didn't really know them after all.

Edward had glanced at him in the rear view mirror with a frown that Alex had raised a sarcastic eyebrow to. Edward had the decency to look a little shamefaced before turning and looking out the front window, not a word being passed between them. Sabina had climbed into the back of the car with puffy eyes and said nothing the whole ride home.

Alex had walked up to his room the minute they pulled into the drive, not giving an excuse or even bothering to spare Liz a second glance as he passed. Since viewing the photo album, it seemed like a final chord had been cut somewhere and he just couldn't bring himself to care what they thought.

That was what had led him here once again, so he could think and just exist rather than live up to everyone's expectations. He knew now it was going to be impossible to continue to act as if everything was fine. Much like a vacuumed space, you could only breath for so long without some kind of vent.

And right now, he was suffocating.

Alex picked up a pebble from the side of him and threw it out across the water. It was a small tiny insignificant act that wouldn't even cause a ripple on the surface of the water but it served its purpose as a little of his frustration was expended through physical energy. He quickly grabbed another and threw it even harder. He was just reaching for the third when he heard the footstep from behind him.

"Keep that up and you'll erode half the cliff," Sabina said quietly as she walked over. Alex dropped the stone to the floor and it rolled towards the edge of the cliff. Alex watched its progress until it fell over the side. He sat himself back on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest as Sabina sat down beside him without a word.

It had been becoming more regular over the last week but still he awaited the hand that would normally touch some part of him. It never came and Sabina made no effort to move.

He found he was thankful for that. The small gesture would probably made him tense enough to not be able to take in the serene setting.

"How'd you find me?" Alex asked, he didn't remove his eyes from the bridge as more cars carried on across it.

"I followed you." Alex turned his head with a raised eyebrow and Sabina smiled slightly. "I knew you'd been going out at night for a while. I heard you tonight and thought I'd take the opportunity to see where you go, before-"

She stopped abruptly and he understood why. The initial excitement over her acceptance to the Drama school had given her rose tinted glasses about how hard it would be to leave everything she knew now. She wasn't coping well, not with the loss of everything that had become familiar but then Alex thought maybe if he had more to leave in England, he himself wouldn't have done so well either.

"It's beautiful up here," Sabina commented, her voice seeming as loud as a shout in the still night air. She was leading the conversation, Alex let her.

"It's quiet."

It was only two words but it spoke volumes. Alex suddenly felt a million miles away from everyone. The loneliness that had been insistent since Cairo, sometimes pushed to one side by human interaction, other time by his own mind but always there, hit him full force. He wanted nothing more than to revert back to the carefree youth he had been when he first met her and tell her the truth as easily as he had the first time. He looked down at his knees, the tan that he had acquired in Egypt had been kept firmly in place by the Californian sun and served as a stark reminder of where his wish for acquaintance had gotten him last time.

It wasn't something he was willing to repeat. The cost was too high.

There was a quiet sigh from beside him and Alex turned his head to look at Sabina. She was dressed casually again, in tracksuit bottoms and a vest top, over which was a baggy jacket that he recognised as one of the ones he'd given to her when he had visited before. Before things had gone to shit.

"Do you want a drink?" Sabina asked. Alex frowned as she pulled two bottles of Budweiser from her jacket pockets. He didn't even ask where she'd got them from just took one without a word, opening it with his teeth before turning his eyes back out across the water.

"We should toast," Sabina said quietly.

"What to exactly?" he asked sceptically. Sabina looked thoughtful for a second before she shrugged herself.

"Something cheesy. New beginnings or something."

"We're going back to where we came from," Alex stated, Sabina looked at with a frown. "Not exactly a new beginning."

Sabina said nothing but took a drink from her own bottle anyway, Alex wondered if she'd proposed her own silent toast.

"Alright," She admitted quietly after a few minute's silence. "To regretful endings then."

Alex looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You don't want to leave?"

"I'm not talking about that," Sabina admitted. "It was hard, saying goodbye to Tia and everyone. But I know what I want from life. I'm talking about this."

There was no question about what this was but even if there was he doubted he would have vocalised any protests. The silence stretched out in front of them, laying as heavily as the summer air around them and Sabina let out a huff of laughter.

"Always the strong silent type," She stated, Alex felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards. "But that response is the reason for it. I knew when you came here things would be different and that it wasn't going to be easy."

Alex didn't look at her, instead he just shut his eyes and let the words wash over him as he had done so many other times with her conversations, but this time he actually took notice of what she was saying. She wasn't finished and Alex had no intention of interrupting her. It felt like something that had been a long time coming.

"The truth was, I hoped we could carry on as it had been before. I've always liked you that much you've always known, right back from Wimbledon. When you told me about them, I didn't believe you at first but you came in full force with that man-"

"Gregorovich," Alex muttered.

"Yeah him, you became my knight in shining armour that day, you know," Sabina laughed shortly. "I became infatuated with Alex Rider the teenage spy."

Alex frowned at the title but said nothing, Sabina sighed heavily.

"I could see the damage it was doing to you, but I wanted to try to be the force that would counteract that and pay back the favour I suppose," She explained. "I realised not long after you arrived and adjusted here,that it wasn't just that. I liked Alex Rider the person, not the spy."

Alex took a swig from his bottle. Now would be the perfect time to tell her it was all false. That nothing she had witnessed over the last ten months was the way he actually was or the way he should be. But something made him hold back the words, leaving them unspoken, meant to a degree they weren't true.

"That's where the problem is," Sabina whispered. Alex turned his head to look at her and he could see she was upset. "I was swept along by the notion that I had got my guy and you got along well with my friends. I couldn't ask for any more. It was like a film. I was the female lead. You the male. I turned a blind eye to the small details that threatened to ruin that."

Alex said nothing. He wasn't about to accept an apology that was completely ill placed when he was just as much at fault but neither was he going to stop her telling the truth. It was uncomfortable middle ground.

"The thing is, those small things all added up to one big thing and it's only over the last 6 weeks I've been able to connect the dots," Sabina took a deep breath and Alex turned to look at her. "I realised the way you tense when I touch you is because you don't know how to react. The way you smile when someone tells a joke that isn't funny is because it's what's expected. The way you acted like my boyfriend was because I was playing the role of the girlfriend."

"It wasn't-"

"Like that at the beginning?" Sabina offered, Alex nodded, biting at his bottom lip but said nothing in response. She smiled softly. "I know. While you caught on quickly that this wasn't working, it took me a bit longer to reach that conclusion."

"I'm sorry," Alex said quietly and truly he was. She definitely didn't deserve this.

"Don't apologise, Alex," Sabina said gently, he felt a hand rest on his leg and he looked at it before it was removed. "You remember the conversation we had about Tia?"

Alex nodded.

"I want to thank you in a way, for playing the part so well. If nothing else it will make me never accept a lower standard," Sabina explained. "In fact, I should apologise to you."

Alex opened his mouth to protest but a finger was placed gently against his lips. Sabina smiled when his mouth closed behind it.

"I became so obsessed with my little reality that I forgot something very important," She whispered. Alex frowned for a second, and she leant forwards. Alex tensed, expecting a kiss to the lips that would negate all the words she had just said. Instead he felt the warmth on his forehead. He blinked in surprise after she had pulled away. "First and foremost Alex, you were and always will be one of my closest friends. Nothing is going to change that."

Sabina had finished her talk. Alex could tell from the finality in her tone, but the words that normally irritated him so, about understanding and wanting to help, went completely unsaid. He was thankful for that but the tear that escaped one of her eyes tore at his conscience. He thought about reaching out and placing an arm around her shoulders as he once would have done. He didn't, instead he let her shift back into a sitting position beside him and they both stared out across the water in silence.

It was quiet here and as a plane passed through his line of sight, with its lights gently blinking against the nothingness of the night sky, Alex found himself not feeling upset over the conversation in the slightest. In fact he felt as the burden was relieved off his shoulders.

It was with a silent concerned sigh he turned his mind to the next lingering issue;

The fact she had followed him.

And he hadn't even noticed.