Ok, so I did write a chapter last night... but I felt the story wasn't ready for that part... I needed to add a couple of things. I had an idea where this story was going when I decided to do a sequel, in fact I ran it through with my best friend and he loved the idea lol... and so far it's on track. The chapter I wrote last night wasn't, so that'll be an upcoming chapter.
It was about 2am by the time I realised this, and I had to be up early because my car is fucked again *stupid machines!* so I literally couldn't possibly write another, so my apologies for no update last night. Anyway, this chapter is a bit like marmite, you'll either love it or hate it! Hopefully its the first.
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Chapter Eleven
I wake late, having worked til 3am this morning, my head is feeling fuzzy as I climb outta bed, my feet sliding into my leopard print slippers as I grab my robe which sits messily on a chair in the corner of the room. I put the robe on, opening the door, that's when I hear it: "There is fucking nothing wrong with me, you're being paranoid" Naomi shouts to Jimmy,
"I am not being paranoid, you haven't been right for the past week, I don't know what it is, but you haven't"
"I'm fine" She argues,
"Ok, so your fine translates to getting wrecked every night then crawling into bed and passing out"
"Is that the fucking problem, cause I haven't shagged you?"
"No, not at all, I know there is something bothering you, but you just won't tell me"
"There is nothing bothering me, can't you get that into your thick fucking head" She's really pissed, "Just fucking drop it, if it bothers you that much we'll go have sex now"
"I am not fucking bothered about the sex, I can live without out, I love you Naomi, and I know there is something wrong, just tell me"
"For fuck sake, read my fucking lips; there is nothing wrong with me"
"Are you pissed at me spending time with my folks?"
"What?"
"You haven't been the same since I picked them up last week, you've been moody, quiet, drinking every night... there is something wrong"
"I have told you a thousand times there is nothing wrong with me, ok?" She lowers her voice, "I'm stressed with work, that's all that's wrong"
"I don't believe you"
"Do what you want James" Oh, she is pissed, she only uses his proper name when she's angry, "I'm telling you the truth" Hell even I didn't believe that!
"Ok, fine... I'll drop it"
"Good" Jimmy growls,
"Fuck sake, I gotta get out of here"
"Fine leave!" She shouts, and that's when I step out, as he's barging past me, opening the door so powerfully that it slams against the wall. I frown at Naomi who looks every bit the guilty party in this argument, I follow Jimmy, running after him I stop him as he's about to go down the stairs,
"Jimmy" He takes a breath,
"Just leave me alone Emily, I can't take anymore of this"
"Calm down, ok"
"I am calm" He snaps my head off, but I don't call him up on it, "She's not being honest, she's not telling me what's fucking wrong with her, she's drinking like a fish and I don't know what to do, I'm scared Emily, I'm so fucking scared" he breaks down,
"Why are you scared?"
"She's gonna leave me, I know it"
"I'll talk to her"
"What good is that gonna do? You don't even like each other"
"Let me at least try" I reason with him, "Look, go to your parents, calm down, I'll text you when it's safe to come back, ok?"
"You won't get it out of her"
"Trust me, I will... just don't come back early" I add as an afterthought, "I'll let you know when it's safe" I don't want him coming back early in case he overhears what we talk about... I feel guilty, but something needs to be said,
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, anything for you" He leans down and kisses my cheek,
"Thanks"
"Go" I order him, and he does as he's told,
"Text me"
"I will"
I wait until I hear the front door open and close before I walk back into the apartment. I slowly walk towards the living room, seeing her sat on the couch, her elbows rest on her knees as her face is buried into her hands.
The floorboard creaks beneath me and her head snaps to mine, "What the fuck do you want?"
"To talk" She stands up, trying to walk away from me, but I stand in front of her, "Jimmy's gone to his parents, he's not coming back until I text him saying its ok"
"Got him on a tight leash haven't you"
"Don't start... I'm trying to help you"
"Ever since you got here you've done nothing but make things worse"
"I don't deny that, but that was never my intention, I want to make things right... As they were when I first got here, before you even knew I was here" She goes back to the couch, sitting down I go over to it, sitting next to her, keeping a safe distance though, "I've never seen him happier than when I saw him three weeks ago"
"I was happy"
"What changed?" She looks at me like I've just shat a goat, "Humour me" I say,
"You..."
"Why?" She shakes her head, looking to the floor she doesn't answer me, "Look, I need to know so I can decide what I'm to do"
"Why? What the hell can you do?"
"Leave"
"That's right, leave when things get tough, I almost forgot that was your forte"
"I'm not going to argue with you Naomi, you can try as much as you like but we need to sort this out"
"We don't need to sort anything out, this has got nothing to do with you"
"Oh yeah, what was last week?"
"You kissed me" She says, accusatory,
"You responded"
"Well... I didn't know what I was doing" I laugh, and this causes her to look up at me, I turn my head and point to my neck,
"Sure seemed like you did"
"What does it matter, you've got Charlie, I've got Jimmy, which reminds me, fucked her yet?"
"I haven't spoken to her since our date, actually" She looks shocked, "I've more important things to sort out"
"Oh yeah, like what?"
"You"
"Fuck off Emily, you're the reason I'm this way"
"I'm here now..."
"Yeah what a fat lot that does"
"Look, Jimmy was right... and I need to talk to you about it, cause I've noticed it"
"What?"
"You're drinking"
"You left your alcoholic mother here, what the fuck do you expect to accomplish by speaking to me, trying to make amends are we?" Her eyes widen as soon as she says that, she looks away, completely ashamed with herself, "I'm so sorry... I really... I don't..."
"That was out of order Naomi, even after what I've done to you... you know what..." I stand up, "I've had enough, I'm not going to be able to change anything, so I don't even know why I'm trying" I turn and walk away, but her arm stops me, pulling me back down to the couch,
"No. You wanted to talk, lets talk" she sighs... "I hate you" She starts, and I'm a little shocked, I wasn't expecting that at all, "I hate you so much for what you did to me... so fucking much, I hate you for that fucking bitch, I hate you for leaving, I hate you for coming back, but I hate you even more because I can't stop feeling the way I do about you... I've tried, so fucking hard... I met Jimmy, and for this first time in three years I actually felt like he was somebody I could spend my life with. I'd stopped thinking about you as much, I'd stop feeling my heavy heart, I'd stopped everything, and I just... was" she sighs, all the time she's said that she hasn't looked at me, she's leant forward, fiddling with her hands. Her eyes looking around the room, looking everywhere but me, "I do love him. I'm not lying about that" she sighs again, "I do."
"But..." I say, my eyes never leaving her, never looking away, watching every single movement, every single glance, everything, just so I don't miss anything. She laughs, she laughs for about thirty seconds, and it makes me nervous, now she looks at me. She looks me straight in the eye as she breaks my heart once more,
"I love you..." She says after she's finished laughing, "I've loved you since the moment we met, and I'll continue to love you until I die" my heart is shattered, all this time, all these years that I've spent running away from her, and it's just hit me, I never had to, I never needed to run away... "But it's not the same anymore" she looks away once more, "I can't trust you, I won't trust you, I won't let myself be that way with you anymore, I can't take anymore heartbreak, Emily. I just can't. Don't you see it, you must see it" A tear chokes her, "I'm half the person I used to be because you cheated, because you left. Before all this, before we were friends I never knew who I was... It took meeting you to find out exactly who I am, what I'm capable of, and then you did that... I've doubted everything ever since, the only thing I haven't doubted is Jimmy"
"Where does that leave me?" I ask quietly,
"Nowhere... I'm not coming back to you" She says quietly, "I'm staying with Jimmy" she clears her throat, "Last week... that was a mistake"
"It wasn't a mistake" I say, tears now filling my eyes, "I'm sorry, but if it was a mistake you'd have never let me kiss you..."
"It was a mistake... It meant nothing... I realised who I should be with because of that kiss" She looks at me, but I don't believe her.
"Yeah, and it scared you"
"What?"
"You can't sit there and tell me that it didn't mean anything, Naomi... you can't"
"Why can't I?"
"Cause it meant everything to me... and I know it did to you"
"You don't know anything" She says, not looking at me. It's at this point where I forget my morals, I forget everything I should do and go for the things I shouldn't. I forget about the problems, there is only Naomi and myself in this room, and that is all that matters to me right now,
"Oh really?"
"Yes" She looks at me,
"I don't know anything?" She's about to open her mouth and answer, but I stop her, I lean across the couch, my lips pressing into hers softly.
She's silent, she doesn't protest, in fact, she kisses me back. I pull away shortly after, our foreheads press together gently, "Now tell me that didn't mean anything, tell me you didn't feel anything and I'll walk away. I'll leave" A tear breaks free from her closed eyes as she sighs, her breathing becoming erratic. "Tell me" I say softly. Before I can register her lips are pressed against mine, her urgent hands lift up, cupping my face.
"I can't stand it..." She says, pulling away briefly, "I can't" The kiss is soft, gentle. She opens her mouth slowly, deepening the kiss.
This kiss is far slower, far tamer than the last, yet it has so much more passion than I thought possible. Her hands leave my face, they unfasten my robe, she pulls its open gently, still kissing me softly. Her hands gently trace up my stomach, evoking a shocked reaction from me. My skin almost on fire from where she's touching me. She leans forward onto her hands, pushing my back onto the couch. I don't stop.
Her body presses down onto mine, and I feel all the three years flush back to me at once, every single moment I laid awake hoping, praying that maybe one day I'll be back in her arms. I'll be able to make it up to her. I'll be able to be complete again. This kiss becomes deeper, more sensual, and as her fingers trail over my stomach she suddenly changes course. Her hand lifts up my boy boxers, while her other hand falls beneath the fabric, feeling how much I want this.
Her breath hitches as she feels who much I want her. Her fingers slide smoothly through my wet folds, causing a groan in me, a groan that comes from deep down inside.
Her perfect fingers push their way inside of me, my breath hitching, my back arching. I groan into her mouth again as she fucks me slowly with her fingers. Her lips haven't left mine yet, and I don't ever want them to leave again.
Her fingers pick up, the pace quickening. Her thumb flicks across my swollen clit, eliciting a loud almost scream from me. My back arching again. Her lips leave mine, kissing across my chest. Her free hand lifts up, cupping my breast as her mouth covers my nipple, taking it in her mouth she nips slightly, making a sea of liquid flush down to my centre.
My heart pounds as she quickens the pace even more, curving her fingers every now and then. Her lips and tongue kiss and taste everywhere. I can feel it. I feel the explosion about to erupt. I open my eyes and she's staring at me, her deliciously darkened blue eyes staring at me, watching, waiting, and with one curve of the fingers, and a flick of the thumb my entire body is hers. Writhing, twitching, everything is hers.
She continues to watch, as I have another orgasm, shocking even myself. My breath is short and shallow as I calm down. My heart beating a million times a second, my centre throbbing for her. She leans up, kissing my lips softly before she climbs off me. Her hand rifles through her hair, and that's when I realise it.
That's when it all falls into place, what I'd hoped that was, what I thought that was... I was naive. Because watching her now, watching the aftermath I know that that was goodbye...
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