A/N I do not own these characters. Oh wait I do own Shelly, Jerry, Mr. and Mrs. Falk, and any other character I might make up on a whim, and all the mob guys except Walter Balsom. I am getting no profit off the use of ABC characters so please refrain from suing me. I have no money anyway.

Chapter 11

It had been three weeks since Josie Anderson's murder and there were still no leads on Natalie's daughter. She was beginning to think that they would never find her. The fact that they had been so close to finding her only added to Natalie's hopelessness. The only plus to any of this was that there had been no further attempts on her life and of course her newly found family. Natalie sat on Angel Square Hotel's roof and thought about all that had changed in her life since John had rescued her.

Once the rest of the Buchanan's had been told about her it had been like a tidal wave of introductions and forced affection. It had been forced on both sides. Natalie really wasn't in the mood to meet her family (she just wanted to find her daughter) and most of her family didn't know how to act around her. The only people she felt comfortable with were her uncle Bo, her biological mother Vicki and Jessica. Her father, Clint Buchanan, hadn't even bothered to come to Llanview to meet her. He had just sent a video of himself. That had hurt. She didn't even know this man but oddly his rejection of her hurt her deeply. It also brought out her insecurities and her fear of never being loved like she wanted.

Her Grandfather Asa Buchanan was out of town and unreachable so he hadn't been told yet. According to Jess he was the one Natalie most took after. Natalie didn't know whether this was a good or a bad thing. From what she had been told about Asa he sounded like a mean old guy. But John had convinced her to reserve judgment until she met the guy.

John...He was the one person that she didn't have to pretend with. He had already seen her at her worst and hadn't flinched. He had been more of a comfort than he could ever know. Through the disappointment of not finding Alex right away to helping her deal with her new family and the death of Roxy. Oddly when Bo had told last week that Roxy had been murdered she hadn't been all that surprised. It was as if, somewhere deep in her mind, she had already known that. Not that it hadn't hurt to hear because it had, a lot, but the news had felt like a confirmation of something she had long suspected.

Rex had been devastated by the news as well. Shelly had helped him through the worst of it and for that Natalie would always love her. In the past three weeks Rex and Shelly had been almost inseparable. Their love for each other was obvious to anyone that looked at him and secretly Natalie was slightly envious of their relationship. She longed for a man to look at her the way Rex looked at Shelly, or the way Michael looked at Christina for that matter.

She took a sip of her beer and sighed. Romance wasn't the only thing on her mind though. Her daughter remained first and foremost in her thoughts. Her need to have her daughter back seemed to get stronger every day and if they didn't find her soon Natalie was sure she would go crazy.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear John until he joined her on the bench. "Hey," he said, "How are you?"

Natalie turned to him and had to fight back the urge to touch him. It had been like this since that passionate embrace the day Josie had died. The sexual tension always seemed to hum between them, right beneath the surface. But even with the pull between them John had keep to his word and hand not made any kind of advance on her again. They had kept their relationship strictly platonic, though she had seen him on more then one occasion looking at her in a way that was so heated that she had to look away or risk throwing herself at him and beg him to make love to her.

"Natalie?" John asked when she didn't reply. She was staring at him strangely and he didn't quite know what to make of it. She had done so several times before and the man in him wanted to think that she was staring because she wanted him. The realist in him told the man to shut up and be quiet. After three weeks his desire for her hadn't waned, in fact it had only grown stronger. It seemed like the more he got to know Natalie the more he wanted her and not just in bed. He knew the timing was terrible but he couldn't help it. So far he had managed to keep his hands to himself but he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep it that way.

"What?" Natalie asked absently, her voice soft as if she was afraid to disturb the silence.

"Are you ok?" John asked worriedly. He was beginning to get concerned. She seemed so distant, so forlorn.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just..." she trailed off.

"Just what?"

"I don't know. It just seems like every time we get a little closer to finding Alex something happens and we end up right back to where we started, with nothing." She told him sadly, her despair evident in her tone. "I just want her back, John."

John put his arm around her and pulled her to him. As he hugged her he kissed the top of her head tenderly. She had been so strong these past weeks. Meeting her Buchanan family, finding out about Roxy, dealing with the fact that her memory hadn't returned yet, during all of it she had been strong but now he could see that she was close to breaking. He had been there with her through it all and she had been strong, determined to get through it all and come out better for it. Seeing her looking so...so...fragile made him want to hold her forever and protect her from everything bad in the world. "We'll find her. We knew when we started this that it wouldn't be easy but we will find her. You just have to believe it," he murmured into her hair.

Natalie snuggled into his embrace and heard his words, "It's just so hard. I feel like it's my fault. If only I could remember, if only I had done something to stop them from taking my baby." She said as tears began to run down her face.

John pulled back and looked at her wet face. He put a hand on either side of her face and forced her to look at him. "It's not your fault! You can't blame yourself, Natalie. Bad things happen to good people. I have seen it again and again, the only thing that we can do is try to fix it and then move on with our lives."

Natalie was touched by his words. Obviously he meant them and that made them all the more special. "I don't know what I would have done with out you these past few weeks John. You're the best friend I've ever had. I'm going to miss you when you go back to the FBI."

John froze at her words. Truthfully he had been thinking more and more about his job. He loved it but after meeting Shelly and then Natalie suddenly it didn't seem so important. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to the FBI after this case, though he wasn't officially on the case at all. He was on family leave for another week then it would be time to make a choice. "Actually...I have been thinking about staying in Llanview after this case is over." He told her.

Natalie looked up at him in shock and then began to smile. "Really? That's wonderful!" she said excitedly, threw her arms around him and hugged tightly.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Three weeks! It had been three weeks since he had heard anything from his plant at the Llanview police station. The waiting was making him angry. He wanted to be rid of them all. Once and for all but he couldn't do that until he found out their weaknesses. When he did he would destroy them! No one would get away from him this time, NO ONE!

He cursed the day John McBain had come into his life. Things had been almost perfect before McBain had come. He had just had to play the hero and rescue her! He was beginning to hate McBain even more then her. Every time he had been close McBain had gotten in the way! He grabbed his phone and made a call. Maybe if he found that blasted baby he could lure McBain into a trap. With him out of the way getting to her would be easy pickings. He knew just the person to help him with such a task. Dialing the number he waited for someone to pick up.

"Llanview Hospital. May I help you?" said the pleasant voice of the receptionist.

To be continued...