Chapter ten
It was the day of the party, and it was quite evident to Jack that someone had spiked the drinks. Even with it being late and another JFW being in the region so even if there was a Neuroi attack, the Witches of the 501st wouldn't be called upon, he thought it best to alert Minna, who was leaning against a wall in the dining hall, observing everyone.
"I know," she said quietly, holding her drink up to her face, "I think we could use it to our advantage."
"What? You're fine with your soldiers being drunk?"
Minna smiled, "Perrine is the only one that's drunk, the rest are… tipsy. Besides, you think this is the first time Erica has spiked the drinks?"
Jack leaned on the wall next to her, "okay then, how do we use this to our advantage?"
She shrugged, "I don't know."
Jack rolled his eyes and said dryly, "Of course you don't."
"Go get a drink and loosen up a little, Colonel."
"You got it, Min."
Jack went and got some punch, and Sam intercepted him on his way back, "Sir, I think the punch is spiked."
"I know," Jack told her casually, taking a sip from his punch, "So does that Commander; she says it's okay."
Sam grimaced, she obviously didn't like it much more than Jack, but they had learnt to interfere as little as possible in other's customs. She walked off to argue some more with Shirley – that seemed to be all the pair ever did – and Jack went back to Minna. "Sam knows the drinks are spiked too."
"This is more potent than what Erica normally uses," Minna commented, taking another sip from her drink, "I wonder what brew it is?"
"Minna!" Major Sakamoto yelled as she stumbled over to the aforementioned Witch and Jack. "Minna, Minna, Minna, Minna!"
"I thought you said Clostermann was the only drunk one," Jack said from behind his drink.
Minna seemed too taken back by the Major's state to say anything.
The Major wrapped her arms around Minna, and winked at Jack – he assumed it was a wink, the eye patch made it hard to tell– and said quickly and quietly, "Punch me when I kiss her."
"Wh-" was all Jack could get out before she planted one on Minna.
Jack understood what was going on; the Major wasn't drunk, she was just pretending to be drunk. "Get off her," Jack yelled, swinging a punch at the major's head, making sure not to swing too hard.
The Major recoiled, smiled, and slurred, "You call that a punch?" She swung a punch back at Jack, dislocating his jaw.
And then Perrine lunged at Jack while he defended himself against the eye patched woman, screaming something nearly incomprehensible about hurting the Major.
Jack fell to the ground and the he heard Teal'c throw Perrine of his friend and then held out a hand to help Jack up. Someone jumped on Teal'c's back, and before long, the only people not involved in the brawl were Jack, Minna, Sergeant Miyafuji and Flying Officer Litvyak, all of whom were hiding behind the kitchenette counter, Jack holding a handkerchief up to his bleeding and broken nose. "You still think we shouldn't have taken away the booze?"
"In hindsight, I admit it was a bad idea," Minna said.
"You knew there was liquor in the punch?!" the Sergeant exclaimed.
"For now, let's focus on this problem," the Commander said firmly, thumbing at the brawl, "Ideas?"
"Could hit 'em with the Zat guns," Jack suggested, "been long enough since Teal'c and the Major were shot to not kill them."
"Shoot them?!" Sergeant Miyafuji just about yelled in shock.
"Shh," the surprisingly calm Flying Officer Litvyak said, putting a hand the Sergeant's mouth to shut her up. Jack had always though Litvyak to be a timid girl, but it seemed a little alcohol was all that was needed to make her more bold and sure.
"We use that as a last resort," Minna told Jack, she was opposed to shooting people with the Zat guns. "Any other ideas before someone gets badly injured?"
"You could try ordering them to stop," the Sergeant suggested after plying Litvyak's hand from her mouth.
"I could knock them unconscious," the red cheeked Litvyak offered, cracking her knuckles and her animal ears and tail appearing – which still freaked Jack out.
"Somehow, I don't think ordering them to stop will work," Minna said with a grimace. "Okay, Colonel, you make a break for it and go to the armoury to retrieve a Zat gun. Remember, only hit them once."
Jack nodded and sprinted for the door. In a matter of minutes, he had made his way to the armoury and a returned to the scene of the brawl – Flying Officer Litvyak having joined the chaos now, and from the looks of things being more than capable of defending herself. Jack opened fire with the Zat gun, and disabled everyone except Teal'c, who he knew had only acted in self-defence.
"Thank you, O'Neill," the Jaffa said as he rolled the now unconscious Barkhorn off him and stood up.
"Miyafuji, start healing the most badly wounded," Minna ordered, "the rest of us will clean this place up a bit."
"We're not going to take them to the infirmary?" Sergeant Miyafuji asked with surprise while she healed a badly bruised Flying Officer Juutilainen.
"It's more effort than we need. They'll awaken in a couple of hours or so, right, Jack?"
"Yeah, maybe a bit longer for the younger ones. Probably a long time for Lucchini."
"There you go. Besides, it'll be punishment for them having a fight in our dining hall. Now let's clean up a little."
It had been an hour since the brawl, and Jack and Minna were sitting with their backs against the wall, watching over the unconscious Witches.
"Neaurgh…" Major Sakamoto groaned as she awoke. Jack wasn't surprised to see her awaken first; the Zat gun was always less effective the more times a person got shot with it. Jack had been shot on a number of occasions and it now took two shots to stun him.
Minna rushed to her friend's side, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. A bit of a headache, but I'll survive. Where's Teal'c?"
"Teal'c? Never mind that, what were you thinking, pulling a stunt like that?" the Commander said angrily, though Jack thought it was more at herself.
Sakamoto rubbed the side of her face, "He'd gotten a few good punches in, but I gave as good as I got."
"Mio," the Karlslander said sternly, grabbing both of the Fuso woman's shoulders, "Why did you start a riot in my dining hall?"
"Yes, that. The brawl wasn't part of the plan; I got a bit carried away after the Colonel hit me…"
"I noticed," Jack told her dryly from his side of the room.
"I probably only came up with the plan because I had had a bit too much to drink."
"Yes, well," Minna looked a bit embarrassed, "You do get a bit… friendly towards me when you drink."
Jack jumped up, "Wait, you normally try and make out with Min when you get drunk?"
Major Sakamoto looked down, "Can we… talk about something else?"
"Yes," Minna said, helping up her friend, "just walk off the hangover, though I think the Zat may have sobered you up a little."
Major Sakamoto ran a hand over her head, "I think I will go for a walk. Maybe see if I can find Teal'c."
Minna opened her mouth but the Major stopped her with a raised hand, "I'm not going to fight him, just talk."
Minna nodded, "Go on then."
"There was some good to come of this," Minna commented, "Your actions will only help to reinforce the rumour that we are together."
Over the next hour an a half, the other Witches slowly woke up. Flying Officer Juutilainen was one of the first, and she waited for Flying Officer Litvyak to awaken before leaving, Litvyak being one of the last.
"Are those two always together?" Jack asked Minna once the seemingly inseparable pair left.
"Yeah, Eila has a crush on Sanya, but Sanya is oblivious to it. That's my theory, anyway. Erica seems to think that Sanya is in love with Eila too, and they're both oblivious to each other's affection."
Erica was the last Witch to awaken. Not because she was hung-over, or that the Zat gun had affected her most; she had just fallen asleep where she was. Both Minna and Jack were alerted to this when she grumbled, turned over, and lay silent again.
"You want me to handle this one, Min?" Jack asked.
"If you feel you must," Minna yawned.
Jack got up, walked over to Hartmann, and rolled her over with his foot. "Get up, you're an officer for crying out loud."
"Gngh," she waved him away, "just seventy more minutes."
"Commander Wilcke, permission to open fire?" Jack yelled out, activating the Zat gun.
By that time, everyone on the base was familiar with the sounds that came from the Zat gun, so Hartmann knew what was about to happen.
"Permission granted," Minna said, playing along with Jack.
One second, Hartmann was on the ground, the next, she was through the door, saying, "I'm up, I'm up, I'm up!"
Jack stretched and yawned, "I s'pose we should hit the sack too, it's pretty late."
Minna got up, and also stretched and yawned, "Yeah. You should stay in my room tonight; make them think we slept together."
"You don't miss a beat, do you?" Jack grinned.
Minna pointed an angry finger at him, "Don't you make a single dirty comment."
"Hey, have some faith; I wouldn't make any dirty comments."
She looked at him sideways as she walked off with him in tow.
Yoshika looked around the dining hall after cooking breakfast with Lynne's help, and noticed that two people were missing.
"Where are the Commander and the Colonel?" Lynne asked, also noticing their absence.
"I'll go get them," Yoshika said, wiping her hands and leaving.
Jack lifted himself off the ground and ran a hand through his hair. He had slept in Minna's room for the night, but because they weren't actually going out, it would be inappropriate for him to sleep in her bed, so he slept on the floor; the cold, hard, wooden floor.
"What time is it?" He grumbled, and was answered by an unintelligible grumble from the Karlslander. Jack suspected it was something about being too early because she pulled the covers over her head.
He stood up and glanced at the clock beside her bed. "Min, get some clothes on, it's already time for breakfast."
She sat up, pulled her nightgown up a little and rubbed her eye, "Arnghea, I feel like I've only been asleep for a couple of hours." She went to climb out of bed and then stopped, her creepy ears and tail appearing, "Someone's coming. Get in the bed."
"What?"
"Just get in the bed and put your arm around me."
Jack climbed into the bed with Minna and put his arm around her.
"Now pretend you're asleep."
Yoshika knocked on the Commander's door.
No response.
She knocked again, slightly harder, "Commander?"
Still, no response.
"Commander?!"
Again, nothing.
Yoshika opened the door and covered her mouth in shock. The Commander and the Colonel were in bed together!
The Fuso girl slammed the door shut behind her and ran as fast as her legs would carry her back to the dining hall.
Shirley had just wrestled the last piece of toast from Barkhorn when Yoshika collapsed through the dining hall door.
While the others rushed to the girl's side to see if she was oaky, Shirley took a moment to enjoy her prize before also running to the girl's side.
The short of breath Yoshika was halfway through explaining why she had run to the dining hall, "…Commander… Colonel… bed… together…"
"WHAT?!" Everyone but Teal'c exclaimed at once. He just raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes.
"She's gone," Minna said, throwing Jack's hand off her and climbing out of the bed.
"How much longer do we need to keep this up?" he whined, also climbing out the bed.
"Maybe a few more days," she answered, "Get out while I get changed."
"Aye, Aye, Cap'n," he said dryly, half saluting and leaving the room, only half dressed himself, and then waited next to the door.
After a moment, a hand came out the door and pulled him back through the door.
"Someone's coming," Minna told Jack.
"And you pulled me in because it would be weird for me to have to leave the room since we're…"
"No," the red haired woman said sternly, cutting Jack off. "Someone is coming, but it isn't one of ours. Get your handgun, this could be trouble."
The Colonel nodded and grabbed his Beretta.
"Get dressed; we may have to hunt this… person."
Minna's reluctance to say person was ever so slight, but it was noticeable. "Something wrong with him?" Jack asked, quickly pulling on his black BDU shirt and clipping on his belt and associated holster.
"He seems… off. I'm not sure." She said with a shake of her head, keeping her PPK trained at the door. "He seems… bad."
Jack pulled the slide back on his M9, "Alright, we need to move quickly."
She nodded, held the door handle with one hand, and the PPK up, "He'll pass by the room in a moment, we spring out and get him."
Jack stacked up behind her, and tapped her shoulder.
"Here he comes... three… two… one… mark!"
Minna pulled open the door and stepped aside to let Jack past. He rushed out the door and tackled a bald man in a green jumpsuit to the ground, holding the M9 to his head. A moment later, Minna was also through the door, gun trained at the bald man.
"Who are you," Minna demanded, "What are you?"
The man struggled, his eyes glowing for a minute and his voice being almost robotic. "Release me you fools!"
"Holy shit," Jack said slowly, not taking his eyes from the obvious enemy, "This guy's a Goa'uld."
"Want me to go get the others?" Minna asked, sounding slightly shaken. Jack had told her enough about the alien enemy from his reality for her to know how dangerous they could be.
Jack shook his head slightly, "No, we'll have to wait for them to come to us. These guys are too dangerous for on person to handle." He made sure to keep his voice level to avoid panicking the Karlslander. "How far are the others?"
"T-they're in the dining hall still."
"Unhand me slave!" the bald man growled.
"Shut up," Jack ordered dryly, smacking the bald man with his Beretta, "Think we're in earshot?"
"Not a chance," Minna said with a slight shake of her head which Jack only saw out the corner of his eye.
"As much as I would like to have him interrogated, we might just have to kill him."
"You can't afford to kill me," the Goa'uld said with a grin, "I have information you want."
"Spill it," Jack told him, tapping the top of the Goa'uld's bald head with his gun.
The Goa'uld grinned, "You think I will just tell you?" he laughed, "I want to make a deal."
"You spill it, and I don't shoot you," Jack told him dryly. He looked slightly in Minna's direction but didn't take his eyes off the Goa'uld, "Who exactly will be cleaning him up? I need to know who to apologise to for the mess."
"That'll be either Miyafuji or Bishop," Minna said as Jack pressed the M9's barrel harder against the Goa'uld's head and slowly started squeezing the trigger.
"Alright, alright, alright," the Goa'uld pleaded, "I'll talk, I'll talk."
Jack stopped pushing the gun into the Goa'uld's head.
"I can tell you how the Defilers work."
Minna leaned down next to Jack, putting her hands on her knees but keeping her Walther trained on the Goa'uld. "Defilers?"
"What you call… Neuroi."
While everyone else in the dining hall was trying to get more information out of the exhausted Yoshika, Eila and Sanya had returned to their meal.
"Something is in the base," Sanya said, her ears, tail, and antenna appearing.
"A Neuroi?" Eila asked, jumping up from her seat.
Sanya shook her head, "No something else. It's not a Neuroi, but it isn't human. The Commander and the Colonel are attacking it."
"Everyone, shut up!" Eila shouted at the arguing rabble, "Sanya's detected a non-human hostile in the base. It's engaged both the Colonel and the Commander."
Major Sakamoto immediately took charge. "Barkhorn, Hartmann, Teal'c, Shirley, Eila, You're with me. The rest of you go to the armoury and then Sanya will lead you to us. Where are they, Sanya?"
"Outside the Commander's room," the shy girl answered.
"Alright, move!" Major Sakamoto barked.
"Hurry up and spill it," Jack ordered, pressing the gun harder against the Goa'uld's head, "We don't have all day."
"Help is coming," Minna told Jack, "the Major and several others just left the dining hall in our direction."
"I guess we can wait for you to talk," Jack told the Goa'uld, smiling.